My Youth Romantic Comedy Is Wrong As Expected

"...I'm in my prime, around thirty years old. Grit your teeth, I'm going to smash your insides!"

"Guwa!"

A powerful impact struck my abdomen, causing my knees to buckle and I to collapse to my knees. Clenching my teeth was pointless. I groaned as a dull pain coursed through my body. At the same time, Miura and Ebina walked past.

Miura wore a fluorescent purple bikini with gold stripes, which looked dazzling. However, her figure was near perfect, completely befitting her queenly title. I imagine the effort she put in to achieve that kind of beauty was immense. The confident way she walked was the best testament to that effort, and that confidence further enhanced her charm.

On the other hand, Ebina was wearing a dark blue swimsuit for the competition, which I didn't expect at all. The practical design complemented her slender figure and modest bust; the crisscrossing shoulder straps at the back accentuated the beauty of her shoulder blades.

As Miura brushed past Yukino, he glanced at her chest and then grinned broadly.

"Ha, I won..."

Her voice seemed to carry a hint of emotion, but Yukinoshita was quite puzzled.

"what?"

Yukino didn't understand why Miura was laughing, but I knew very well.

"Oh! I see..."

At a time like this, I should pat her on the shoulder and say something encouraging, but I felt a little embarrassed to touch her bare shoulder directly, and my hands were sweating profusely.

"It's okay. If your sister could do that, from a genetic point of view, I think you still have hope."

"My sister? What does that have to do with her?"

Yukinoshita frowned in displeasure. Immediately afterward, Komachi also gave her a thumbs up.

"Yukino-neechan, it's okay! A girl's value isn't determined solely by that, and everyone's situation is different! Komachi will stand with Yukino-neechan!"

"Ah, yes... thank you..."

Yukinoshita was quite flustered, but still thanked her shyly. After calming down, she pondered while reciting "sister, heredity, value, everyone is different..."

"……ah!"

Once I understood, her face instantly turned an unbelievable red, and she glared at me fiercely. I quickly looked away. How terrifying! I'm going to be killed by her! But why am I the one being glared at? That line was clearly said by Miura!

"It's okay, I really don't care at all. People's success or failure is not determined by their external characteristics. Even if we have to judge based on appearance, we should use a relative evaluation to make a judgment based on the overall balance. So I don't care at all. On the contrary, I want to tell the other party that it is hard to say who the real winner is."

Yukinoshita launched into a long, rambling speech, but all I noticed was that her cheeks were flushed red with anger.

Hiratsuka-sensei patted Yukinoshita on the shoulder, and Yui-hama also praised her highly in front of her.

"Yukinoshita, now is not the time to give up."

"Yukino, you're so beautiful, there's no need to worry about you!"

"Didn't I say I didn't care at all...?"

Yukinoshita gradually calmed down with the two comforting her, but still muttered softly, "I don't care at all..." Her gaze kept drifting to Hiratsuka-sensei and Yuihama's chests, and she let out a very, very faint sigh.

After the comforting ceremony for Yukino Yukinoshita, the girls went to play in the stream.

Then, several more people arrived at the place.

Wow, it's so lively here!

"Oh, even the penguins are here?"

"Yes, I just happened to be passing by."

Hayama and Tobe also appeared, having changed into their swim trunks. Well… they were just regular swim trunks anyway, it didn't really matter, nothing special.

Just as I was about to look away, Totsuka appeared from behind them.

"Didn't Hachiman bring any swim trunks?"

"Toto-tsuka!"

His delicate toes, ankles, calves, and the pale skin extending up to his thighs were all dazzlingly captivating. His white hooded jacket, slightly looser than his frame, made him appear as if he were only wearing a shirt, due to its overall luminous whiteness and ill-fitting size. It made my heart flutter. And when I saw his slender wrists peeking out from the three-quarter sleeves, my heart clenched even tighter.

The part hidden beneath the fabric, even when draped in an outer layer, exudes a captivating allure that invites contemplation.

"what happened?"

Sometimes, a lack of self-awareness is itself a sin. When he looked at me with his head tilted, dressed like that, my heart pounded even harder.

"Your...shirt..."

"Oh, this one? Because my skin is quite sensitive, and I can't let my body get too cold."

Totsuka tugged at her shirt as she spoke. No, I can't look him in the eye anymore.

"Oh, I see... Then be careful not to catch a cold while playing in the water."

"Yes, thank you!"

He thanked me and ran towards the stream.

Upon closer inspection, everyone was already playing in the stream.

The girls splashed water at each other, grabbed the dolphin-shaped swimming rings they had somehow acquired, and laughed loudly, having a great time.

The boys, on the other hand, took on the challenge of catching fish with their bare hands and were enthusiastic about activities that resembled spiritual practice.

If only I had swim trunks... I really want to splash water on Totsuka... But I only have one pair of beach trunks that I used for swimming lessons in junior high school. After all, I never thought I would go to the beach to play in the water in the summer, so I haven't bought any swim trunks since graduating from junior high school.

There's no use regretting it now. Since there's nothing else to do, I simply retreated to the shade of a tree to escape the heat. The babbling brook brought a cool breeze, and the sunlight filtering through the leaves was very pleasant.

An ordinary person would probably be bored out of their mind in this situation, but after reaching my level, one can pass the time with all sorts of things.

For example, bird watching.

This place is perfect for birds. Since earlier, all sorts of little birds have been chirping and flying around, but unfortunately, I know nothing about birds, so my birdwatching trip ended in failure. Those birds were so noisy!

Or to flick stones.

The game of flicking stones works like in Pinball Man: you lock onto a target and launch the stone. But by the third time, my fingers were killing me, so I had to give up. The stones were way too hard! My willpower is really weak in comparison.

In addition, you can observe insects.

Why are the ants that appear in summer always black and large?

Compared to ants in other seasons, they seem much stronger. It's probably the most delicious season, but they still taste sour, based on my own experience. Why do elementary school students like to put ants and paint in their mouths? Setsuko! Those aren't marbles, they're ants! (Note 38 is a line from "Grave of the Fireflies") Wait, even marbles shouldn't be eaten.

Speaking of this, elementary school students can be quite cruel. To them, "playing with ants" means stepping on them, pouring water into their nests, or burning them with a magnifying glass; "playing with pill bugs" means rolling them up like BB guns or burning them white with a sparkler.

No wonder they can do such cruel things.

× × ×

After I got tired of watching the ants, I leaned against a tree trunk and stared blankly at the people playing in the stream.

Yuihama and Komachi were having a blast; Miura and Ebina were splashing water everywhere, thoroughly enjoying themselves. As for Hiratsuka-sensei, she tended to favor everyone, but would occasionally yell "Take this!" and launch a massive water attack; only Yukinoshita didn't know how to play with everyone and stood alone at a distance.

Lone wolves often don't understand those crazy, eccentric behaviors, and are therefore often labeled as antisocial. It's not that they feel embarrassed; it's simply that they have many concerns, such as whether they'll bother others, whether there's danger, or whether joining now will ruin the pleasant atmosphere. Therefore, they can't act arbitrarily.

However, Yuihama, disregarding everything else, launched a water attack on Yukinoshita.

Yukinoshita angrily slashed at the water's surface, the splash like a ninja's shuriken, hitting Yuihama squarely on the forehead.

Yuihama was beaten senseless, and Komachi immediately joined in to help, creating a two-on-one situation. However, this was nothing to Yukinoshita when she got serious, and she still handled them calmly.

Next, Miura, with a malicious smile, stirred things up with a water splash energy blast, and even Yukinoshita began to struggle to defend herself.

At that moment, Ms. Hiratsuka provided fire support with a water gun. Wait a minute, using weapons is a bit too underhanded…

As you might have guessed, the opposing team's Ebina also pulled out water guns and joined the fray. In the blink of an eye, a massive water fight was raging in the stream. Be careful not to catch a cold!

I watched everyone having a water fight, and at the same time, I felt drowsy.

Suddenly, footsteps came from the path beside them.

I looked in the direction from which the sound came from, and there appeared a very familiar-looking girl—Tsurumi Rumi.

"Hi."

I greeted Liu Mei, who nodded and sat down next to me.

For the rest of the time, we watched silently as everyone played in the river.

After a long silence, Liu Mei finally couldn't help but ask me:

Why are you here all alone?

"I didn't bring my swim trunks. What about you?"

"Well, me... wasn't today a free day? After I finished breakfast, I went back to my room, but I couldn't find anyone..."

Ugh, how heartless.

I've had a similar experience. Once, I dozed off in class and when I woke up, everyone had disappeared. I thought I had entered some kind of enclosed space, but it turned out that everyone had just gone to another class and no one had woken me up.

When you suddenly find yourself all alone, you'll definitely be startled; even if your classmates are just background noise to you, you'll still be frightened if they suddenly disappear.

That kind of confusion is similar to when a comic book that was drawn with great care was finally released, only to find a double-page spread with a completely white background when you open it.

Liu Mei and I stared at the stream in a daze for a long time.

At that moment, Yui looked at me, then whispered something to Yukinoshita, and a little while later, the two of them walked ashore together.

They picked up towels from the waterproof cloth, dried themselves, and walked over.

Yuihama, drying her still-damp hair, squatted down in front of us.

"Hey, Liu Mei, wanna hang out with us?"

Liu Mei shook her head coldly, not even glancing at Yuihama.

“I-I see…”

Yuihama lowered her head in disappointment, and this time, Yuki spoke.

"Didn't I already say that?"

In fact, when a lone wolf receives an invitation, they usually decline it the first time; it's their way of protecting themselves. After all, if someone suddenly invites you out when they wouldn't normally do so, it's best to be wary, as they might just be trying to prank you, like luring you to a social gathering and making you look foolish.

Another very common answer is "I'll go if I can." Of those people who answer this way, there's about an 80% chance they won't actually go. This is based on my personal experience.

Liu Mei seemed afraid of the snow and turned her head towards me again.

"Hachiman."

"Just call me by my name..."

"What? Aren't you called Hachiman?"

"That's right..."

The only person who can address me by my first name is Totsuka...

Do you still have friends from elementary school?

"No……"

My relationship with my classmates was more than just estranged; we were never meant to be together from the very beginning.

"Anyway, I don't think it's necessary. Most people are like that. There's no need to worry about them. We won't see those people again after graduation."

"Only autistic men are like that, right?"

I haven't seen my elementary school classmates since.

No sooner had Yui finished speaking than Yukinoshita retorted without any hesitation. Yui sighed in surrender and told Rumi:

"These two are the only exceptions among those who stayed in the US!"

"What's wrong with being a special case? In English, it's called 'special,' doesn't it sound more professional?"

"Is this the wonder of language...?"

I don't understand why Yukino admires me. In English, "special" means "exceptional." For a lone wolf, using "special" seems to have a more positive connotation.

The student who had studied in the US watched our back-and-forth with wide eyes, but did not agree with my theory. Since that was the case, I had no choice but to offer a more compelling argument.

"Yuihama, how many of your elementary school classmates do you still see each other?"

Yuihama stretched out her index finger and rested it on her chin, looking up at the sky.

"Well... although the frequency and purpose of the meetings may differ... if it's just a classmate you ask to hang out, it's probably one or two."

"Another question: how many students are there in your school year?"

"There are 30 students in each class, and there are three classes in total."

"Ninety people... So, we can conclude from the above data that the probability of maintaining a friendship five years after graduating from elementary school is about three to six percent. Moreover, even the very sociable Yui-hama only has this number."