My Youth Romantic Comedy Is Wrong As Expected

So, after you go to high school, are there any clubs you would like to join?

Hikigaya Komachi

Well, Komachi still has to take care of her older brother... Sigh, it would be great if someone could help take care of him (glances)~

Totsuka Saika

Huh? Why are you looking at me...?

Hikigaya Komachi

I'm sorry, it was Komachi who made a mistake.

Totsuka Saika

Haha, if you have any difficulties, you can tell me. Although I'm not sure I can take care of Hachiman.

Hikigaya Komachi

Ugh! That smile... it's too irritating!

Totsuka Saika

Is it too bright?

Oh right, you'll be in the sun sitting there, do you want to move to another spot?

Hikigaya Komachi

A considerate Yamato Nadeshiko...

Ok……

For Komachi, it seems like she barely passed...

Volume 4, Chapter 6: By Accident, Hachiman Hikigaya Forgot His Swim Trunks

I had a dream.

In my dream, a pair of small hands gently rocked my body, as if taking care of me. Through my skin, I felt a warmth from just waking up, and the owner of those hands called my name in a sweet and lovely voice, yet also seemed a little anxious.

This is such an incredibly blissful dream.

But I know very well that this is just a dream. My sister usually doesn't wake me up, and my parents leave for work early while I'm still in bed. The only thing that pulls me back to reality from my dream is always the cold, indifferent alarm clock on my phone.

Therefore, my heart and my body are well aware that this is a dream.

"Hachiman, it's dawn. If you don't get up soon..."

Those hands kept shaking me and saying those words until I finally opened my eyes. The morning sunlight was particularly dazzling, and in the bright light, I saw Totsuka smiling, looking somewhat at a loss for what to do.

"You're finally up... Good morning, Hachiman."

"……oh."

My mouth responded, but my brain was still reeling from the surreal scene. Pure white sunlight streamed into the room, and the chirping of sparrows and larks drifted in from outside. The quilts spread on the floor were disheveled after a night's rest, and Totsuka was beside me.

“Eh…”

Could something have happened last night? Could I have crossed that forbidden horizon on the boundary line?

I was thrown into chaos, while Totsuka lifted the blanket covering me and began folding it.

"If you don't hurry, you'll miss breakfast!"

As more information came in, I finally understood the situation. Oh right, we're here for training. No wonder I couldn't remember when I started living with Totsuka.

I got up and folded up the bedding on the floor.

"Where are the others?"

"Hayama and Tobe set off first. Because no matter how much they called Hachiman, they couldn't wake him..."

Totsuka looked at me with displeasure.

What's with this feeling of guilt...? In the past, whether it was being late for school or work, I never felt embarrassed. But this time, I almost had to live up to the three major Western impressions of Japan—geisha, seppuku, and seppuku on Mount Fuji. Speaking of which, geisha sounds like a cool way to refer to homosexuals (Note 36: The Japanese pronunciation of geisha is "geishya").

"Feel sorry……"

I reflect on my actions and sincerely apologize to Totsuka.

However, Totsuka still had a puffed-up face and hadn't calmed down.

"Hachiman, your summer vacation must have been very irregular, right?"

"Ah, um...yes."

"And there was absolutely no exercise, right?"

"Hmm...right. It's so hot, so I don't really want to do anything in particular."

"That's bad for your health. You should exercise more. Oh, by the way, let's play tennis next time!"

He suddenly made the suggestion to me with great excitement.

"Oh? Okay, contact me again later."

I reflexively blurted out the standard response I would give when invited.

Even if you're on the periphery of a group, people will still ask about your intentions out of social politeness, such as "Um... are you going?"

Honestly, you should save your breath for this; there's no need to ask me. Even if you did ask, I would only give a perfunctory response out of social politeness.

By the way, if you immediately reply "I'll contact you later" when someone invites you, you won't receive any more invitations after that. This is just a little tip based on my personal experience.

I glanced nervously at Totsuka, worried that this rule of thumb might come true again—

"Okay! I understand! I'll definitely contact you!"

"It seems we've made it through safely this time." Totsuka readily agreed, putting my mind at ease.

Basically, if a guy invites me out, I don't think there's any reason to refuse. The only exceptions are if he's a Zaimokuza (a male social class), or if I already have plans. However, when I do have other plans, it's almost always to accompany Komachi. In short, my schedule is quite flexible—so flexible that if I participated in a "Reserved Trip Planning Contest (Freedom Category)," I could easily win first place. This is mainly because very few people invite me out, and I don't actively invite others out.

When I was in junior high, I called Oiso to ask him to hang out, but he declined because he was busy with family matters. Later, when I went to the amusement park by myself, I saw Oiso and Ninomiya go into a karaoke bar next door. After that, I stopped asking other people out. Think about it, I felt bad about making the other person refuse, isn't that considerate?

"Okay, we should go have breakfast now."

"Um. Ah, well... I don't have Hachiman's mailbox yet..."

Oh right! I usually only use my phone as an alarm clock to kill time, and I almost forgot that I haven't exchanged email addresses with Totsuka yet.

Has the day finally come when I received Totsuka's mobile email address...? I took out my phone with mixed feelings and quickly prepared to type.

"Huh? Hachiman, why are you crying?"

"Nothing, nothing, just yawning."

I was probably too moved to hold back my tears.

"Oh, you just woke up. Well then, tell me your email address."

"here."

I showed Totsuka the location of my email address on my phone.

"Um……"

He probably doesn't use electronic devices much. While comparing my phone screen to his own, he typed the email address into his phone word by word, muttering "Ah, wrong... Huh? Is this it?" every now and then. It was a little worrying. What if he typed it wrong and I didn't receive the email? I would regret it terribly.

"Hmm, it should be fine... I'll try sending a message."

He typed the letter again at a snail's pace, one word at a time.

Halfway through the game, he tilted his head and thought for a moment, then nodded with an "uh-huh".

"It's been sent out."

"Oh, thanks."

A few seconds later, my phone beeped with a text message.

I finally captured Totsuka's cell phone! Pikachu!

Great! Now we can just save his email address.

The moment I opened Totsuka's email—

Title: I am Totsuka.

Text: Good morning, Hachiman. This is the first letter I've sent you. Please continue to support me!

The moment the letter's contents came into view, my heart rate immediately soared to its limit, and I inadvertently started coughing violently.

"Ooh! Cough cough cough, cough cough cough!"

"Hachiman! What happened to you? Are you alright?"

Totsuka was startled and quickly patted my back. Ah! His hands were small, but they felt warm and soft...

"I...I'm alright now..."

"It's good that you're alright..."

Totsuka still cast an uneasy glance my way. I straightened up and brushed it off with a cheerful smile.

"Let's go, let's hurry up and have breakfast!"

"Oh, right."

I urged Totsuka forward, pushing him along by the back.

He tilted his head slightly while typing that email; he must have been thinking about what to write. The simple words have a charming quality; Totsuka's writing is truly superb! Someone should give him an award already!

Anyway, let's keep this letter safe first. Then we need to set up a special ringtone and a special email folder for Totsuka. To be on the safe side, we also need to back up everything on the computer.

× × ×

The elementary school students had already left the visitor center's restaurant, leaving only a few of us Heizuka teachers here.

"Good morning."

"Well, good morning."

Professor Hiratsuka flicked the newspaper in his hand and then responded to me. I haven't seen this kind of Showa-era scene much lately, and I couldn't help but feel a sense of nostalgia.

Totsuka and I sat in empty seats, right across from Yuihama.

"Good morning, autistic guy!"

"Hi."

Yui greeted me first, so it seems that "Hi" wasn't a morning greeting, but rather something I'd use after noon.

Next to Yuihama were Yukinoshita and Komachi. Komachi simply said good morning to me and then hurriedly got up and ran off somewhere.

Yukinoshita greeted Totsuka with a "Good morning," then looked at me.

"Good morning, why are you awake..."

"Hey, don't look down with regret. Good morning."

Even in this situation, I still managed to maintain proper etiquette; I think I'm incredibly magnanimous.

At that moment, Komachi placed a plate in front of me.

"Come on, sorry to keep you waiting, Totsuka-nii-san, hurry up and eat!"

It turned out she was there to get our breakfast.

Thank you!

I tried to express my gratitude in the way McDonald's employees do. To put it simply, when the beef in the burger is grilled, the employee will say, "McDonald!" When the fries are fried, it's "Potato! Potato!" And finally, they'll say "Thank you!" to the customer. But I don't actually need to explain any of this.

"Ah, thank you... Well then, I'll begin."

I joined my hands with Totsuka, but not to create anything; I was just preparing for a meal.

"I'm starting."

Komachi's breakfast was very homey, consisting of white rice, miso soup, grilled fish with salad, omelet, natto, seaweed sheets, pickles, and an orange as a snack.

If you've seen the breakfasts offered by typical restaurants, you'll know they're pretty much the same.

We ate our breakfast quietly, and soon the rice was gone. Just the natto and seasoned seaweed sheets as side dishes were enough for us to eat two bowls of rice. If we had breakfast at a restaurant, they would have served a raw egg, and the amount of rice we would have needed would have been even more considerable.

Seeing that I was almost finished with my rice, Komachi asked:

"Brother, would you like another bowl?"