My Youth Romantic Comedy Is Wrong As Expected

Some say that's what youth is all about.

However, people with distorted personalities might think that it's just that they enjoy indulging in their "youth."

As for my sister, she'd probably say, "Youth? Is that the light you see?" That's just the beginning; you've seen too much of that.

"It's funny" (Komachi is referring to the lyrics of an advertisement song for Nihon Kodo. "Funny" refers to a long-running comedy variety show in Japan).

× × ×

I opened the door to the clubhouse and saw Yukino sitting in her usual spot, reading in her usual posture.

She looked up when she heard the door creak.

"Oh dear, I thought you weren't coming to the office today." J

Yukino placed the bookmark into the paperback copy. This reaction was a significant improvement compared to her initial indifference and continued reading her own book.

"No, I'd like to take a vacation too, but there's something I need to take care of."

I walked to the seat diagonally in front of Yukino and pulled out a chair opposite the long table. This was our usual seating arrangement. I took out some manuscript paper from my bag, and after observing it for a while, Yukino frowned unhappily.

"...What do you consider this club to be?"

"You're just reading books."

After I finished speaking, Yukino turned her head away unhappily. It seemed that no one had come to make a request today.

In the quiet office, only the ticking of the second hand could be heard. Oh right, it's been a long time since it's been this quiet; it's probably because the noisy guy isn't here.

"Where's Yuigahama?"

"She said she wanted to go out and have fun with Miura and her friends."

"Right……"

That was unexpected. But it's alright, really, since they were friends to begin with, and Miura's attitude softened considerably after that tennis match, probably because Yuihama became more willing to speak her mind.

"Hachiman, didn't your companions come with you today?"

"Totsuka has joined a club. Perhaps your special training has worked, he's very enthusiastic about club activities now."

So she stopped paying attention to me, which is really sad.

"I'm not talking about Totsuka-kun, I'm talking about someone else."

"……who?"

"You still ask who it is... the one who's always hiding by your side."

"Hey, don't make it sound so scary... You don't happen to have some kind of supernatural ability, do you?"

"...Sigh, how stupid of us to even bring up ghosts. Those things don't exist."

Yukino sighed and looked at me with eyes that seemed to say, "Do you want me to turn you into a ghost?" I kind of miss those kinds of conversations.

"I'm talking about that one. His name is Zai... Zaijin-kun?"

"Oh, the woodworker, he's not my partner."

It's even hard to say whether they can even be called "friends".

He said, "I have to go into a battleground today... Sorry, I have to prioritize the deadline," and then went home.

"The only thing that makes him sound like a bestselling author is his tone of voice..."

He murmured under the snow, making no attempt to hide his disgust.

No, no, no, think about the people who have to read his work too. He doesn't write any content at all, but shows me illustrations, character designs, and plot outlines first! He even says, "Hey, Hachiman! I have a new idea! The heroine is a rubber woman, and the female supporting character can nullify the heroine's abilities! This is bound to be a bestseller!" Idiot, this isn't a new idea, it's a completely outdated concept, and it's plagiarism!

In the end, we only stayed in that sticky group for a while before returning to our own places. It was a once-in-a-lifetime encounter.

However, I don't think it's quite right to say that this is where Yukinoshita and I have found refuge.

Our conversation was disjointed and rambling, and it was still a bit awkward.

"I'm coming in."

Just then, the door clicked open.

"……well."

Yukinoshita seemed to have given up, rubbing her forehead and sighing softly. So that's how it is; the quiet space was indeed disrupted by the sudden sound of a door opening, making one want to complain.

"Mr. Hiratsuka, please knock before you come in."

"Huh? Isn't that a line from Yukinoshita?"

Hiratsuka-sensei looked incredulous and casually pulled out a chair to sit down.

"What's the matter?"

When Yukinoshita asked the question, Hiratsuka-sensei's eyes sparkled like a young boy's.

"I'm here to announce the current match results."

"Oh, that..."

I've forgotten about it. I should say, we haven't even resolved one thing, so it's understandable that I'd forget.

"You've each won two matches so far, so it's a tie. Hmm, a close match is the essence of fighting manga... But I was actually hoping to see Hachiman's death awaken Yukinoshita."

"Why did I die... Excuse me, we clearly didn't solve any problems, so how can there be two wins? And there were only three people who came to request the service."

Doesn't she know arithmetic?

"According to my calculations, four people are correct. As I said, this conclusion is based on my subjectivity and bias."

"It's amazing that the 'self-determination' rule has evolved to this extent..."

Is she Gian?

"Mr. Hiratsuka, could you tell us how you determine victory? Just like that person said, we didn't solve any of the clients' problems."

"Um……"

When asked by Yukinoshita, Hiratsuka-sensei fell silent and pondered for a moment.

"Well... the '恼' in '烦恼' (wánnǎo, trouble/annoyance) is composed of the '心' (xīn, heart) radical, and next to the '心' is written the character '凶' (xiōng, ominous), with a lid on top of the '凶' character." (The Japanese kanji for "恼" is "悩".)

"Which Class B is this reference to?" (A veiled reference to the Japanese drama "3rd Year Class B, Kinpachi-sensei")

"Troubles often lie hidden in the heart. In other words, the content of their consultations may not be their real worries."

"The first paragraph is completely unnecessary."

"It doesn't have any special significance."

Hiratsuka-sensei seemed a bit dejected after being mercilessly teased by me and Yukinoshita.

"Oh, I see... I even tried so hard to think of something..."

In short, the teacher decides who wins and who loses.

The teacher looked back and forth between me and Yukino, and said somewhat sullenly:

"Really... you two are enemies, yet you're so close... it's like you're old friends."

"How could he be like that... I could never be friends with this guy."

Yukino shrugged. I thought she would glare at me, but she didn't even look at me.

"Hachiman, don't be discouraged. There's a saying that goes, 'Even the bitterest vegetable has worms that like it.'"

My teacher comforted me like that. I wasn't upset... but why did this gentleness make me feel uncomfortable?

"indeed……"

Yukinoshita surprisingly chimed in. Wait a minute, you're the one who's making me so depressed!

But Yukinoshita doesn't lie, nor does she pretend to know her feelings, so you can definitely believe what she says.

A gentle smile appeared on her face as she said, "One day, you will also meet a bug who likes you."

"At least they're cute animals!"

I'm being really modest; I didn't even ask Yukinoshita to say she was human.

Arrogant Yukino clenched her fist, a triumphant "how about that?" expression on her face. Her eyes sparkled; she seemed pleased with her verbal victory, but I, the aggrieved party, was anything but.

I mean, when you talk to a girl, shouldn't you be laughing and joking, being all lovey-dovey, and even kissing her?

How strange. I wanted to jot down this fleeting feeling, so I picked up my mechanical pencil.

At that moment, Yukinoshita came over to take a look.

"By the way, what exactly are you writing?"

"Stop nagging, this is none of your business!"

Then, with a flourish of my pen, I wrote the last line:

—As expected, my teen romantic comedy was wrong.

(Finish)

Afterword to Volume

Long time no see, I'm Wataru Watari. And nice to meet you, I'm Wataru Watari.

This may sound abrupt, but the common understanding of "youth" is actually inaccurate; it's all a lie. For example, the idea of ​​wearing a school uniform and going on a date with a cute girlfriend at LaLaport (a large shopping mall in Japan); or having dinner with a girl from another school through a friend's introduction—these are all impossible. They are simply fictional stories.

"※This work is purely fictional and has nothing to do with any real events, people, or groups." Usually youth romantic comedies will have something like this at the end, right?

In other words, those teen romantic comedies are bullshit and everyone has been fooled.

True youth is when two boys go to Saya after school, ordering nothing but focaccia and drinks, sitting there late into the night, gossiping about everyone and the school. That's what true youth is. This is my personal experience, so it's absolutely true.

However, I don’t hate that kind of youth.

Mixing cantaloupe soda and orange juice and happily naming it "Cantaloupe Juice"; watching four boys battle it out at the mahjong table on our graduation trip; and falling silent after witnessing the girl I loved and her boyfriend playfully fighting... Looking back now, those were all beautiful memories.

Sorry, I lied, I really hate it. I also wanted to date high school girls in uniform, and I still do!

I wrote this work with this feeling in mind. I would be very happy if you like it.

Finally, let me express some gratitude.

My editor, Mr. Hoshino, could fill a whole book with my gratitude, so I've decided to skip it. Anyway, I'm truly grateful for your care in all matters, big and small.

Thank you, ponkan⑧-sama, for your lovely and charming illustrations. Whenever I feel discouraged, I find strength in them. It's wonderful to entrust this work to you. Thank you.

To Hirasaka Yomi, a complete stranger who wrote a book recommendation for me (referring to Japanese book cover copywriting; Hirasaka Yomi's recommendation read: "It feels like my sores are constantly being rubbed raw, but it's so much fun. Even without friends, I can find the courage to live!"), your recommendation gave me courage when I was on the verge of being overwhelmed by anxiety and worry. Thank you.

My friend, why do you only talk about money every time we meet? It really disappoints me! Can you tell me something about what's been going on lately?

And to all my readers. Because of you, I, the author Watari, am able to exist. Every word you send me gives me vitality, and I am truly grateful.

Finally, there's my high school self. It was because of your complaints about boredom and dullness, and your seemingly unwilling-to-give-up attitude, that this work came to be. Please hold your head high; your youth may have been a little off, but it was definitely on the right path.

thank you.

Whether there will be a sequel to this story remains to be seen. But I believe we will meet again in the future, so let me think about the plot of the next story first, and I'll stop here for now.

On a certain day in February, somewhere in Chiba Prefecture, I sipped a sweet coffee while reminiscing about my past self.

Travel

Volume Illustrations

Book Two Prologue

The Taiwanese version is from the Kingdom of Light

Input by: Ren Leipi

After the Golden Week holiday ended, the temperature began to rise day by day. Especially during lunch break, the noise from students added to the heat.

I'm naturally a bit of a hard-headed person and I can't stand the heat. To cool myself off, I decided to find a secluded spot.

The normal human body temperature is about 36 degrees Celsius, but when converted to weather, that's scorching heat. Even I can't stand such a hot and humid environment.

When it gets hot, don't cats hide in places where no one is around? That's exactly what I'm doing right now. I'm just trying to escape the heat by going to a place where no one is around—no, I'm definitely not running away because I can't stand being in the classroom and feel embarrassed.

This is an instinctive behavior of humans as biological beings; it would be wrong if other students in the class did not do the same.

Simply put, they are merely acting out of weakness and the instinct to survive, much like herbivores gather together to make it easier to sacrifice someone when predators attack. Like herbivores, they always feign innocence while secretly plotting who to sacrifice.