hold you in my arms tonight

My name is Meng Yan, from the imperial capital.

The ancestors of the Meng family were literati and once participated in the protection of national treasures. Later, they settled down and started investing in art.My grandfather is a great collector of calligraphy and painting, and with countless dead objects, he squeezed into the Nanshan Yun District, which is known as the boundary of the imperial capital.

When I was young, my grandfather and I were the closest, and we always liked to make trouble in his house. My family was most afraid that I would damage the calligraphy and paintings collected by my grandfather.I was the youngest girl in my family, and I was the most favored since I was a child. I never knew what it was like to be sad.

My childhood best little sister was An Xiaoqian, and we were the few girls in the cloud area, so we walked the closest.But I know that I have been standing in An Xiaoqian's light.

She learns to paint and I also learn to paint. Even if I am the daughter of the Meng family, I am not as good as her. She learns to dance and I also learn to dance. She will always be No.1 and I will always be No.2.

I can't say how inferior I am, but I have been chasing her footsteps.Probably everyone has a child from someone else's family in their life.

The first time I left the imperial capital was when I was in high school. During that time, my parents divorced, and I couldn't bear the trouble. I moved to Liucheng with my aunt who married far away, and studied in No. [-] Middle School.

I like Liucheng very much, I like the fireworks of this small city on the [-]th line, and I like the gentleness and wantonness of this city's misty rain.I have deep feelings for Liucheng, and another reason is probably that I met the boy I like the most in my life here.

Gu Baiyang.

When I saw Gu Baiyang for the first time, it was the beginning of the seventh middle school. Among the students carrying schoolbags, Gu Baiyang was very conspicuous, rustic, silly, and dull.I was blushing from suppressed laughter, and followed him unconsciously until I walked to the boys' dormitory.

Later in class, I found him and greeted him with a smile: "Hello, my name is Meng Yan, what's your name?"

He smiled and showed his white teeth, the blush on his face burned to his ears, he said: "Gu Baiyang."

I think this person is so interesting, he can see through at a glance, and he doesn't hide himself.I took the initiative to pull him to sit together and became the same table. This sitting lasted for three years.

Of the two boys at the front table, the gentle and smiling one is called Xie Yuan, and the quiet and cold one is called Jiang Xun.

After getting to know each other better, I realized that you really can’t judge people by their cover. Xie Yuan, the smiling tiger, is actually a ruthless master. The cold Jiang Xun is much easier to talk to than him.

I especially like to observe Xie Yuan and Jiang Xun silently. Before talking to them, I have already discovered that when Xie Yuan looks at Jiang Xun, there are really stars in his eyes.

When I told this to An Xiaoqian who was far away in the imperial capital, she said, "Meng Xiaoyan, can you read less novels for girls in the future?"

I shook my head, I firmly believe that in those trivial and ordinary times, I really saw the stars in his eyes, which was the most blatant preference.

I always looked at Xie Yuan and then at Gu Baiyang, the latter always looked like he couldn't move his eyes, I suspected Gu Baiyang more than once that he was a fool.

I'm the real fool.

Because I like the fool Gu Baiyang.

Is love really unknown?I think not.I like Gu Baiyang's hands holding hot soybean milk, his good handwriting, his neckline is always white, and his seriousness when he listens to me, as if I were his whole world.

Meng Yan likes Gu Baiyang, she never hides it, willful and flamboyant.

During the high school art festival, I was dancing on a crude stage, and there were many people in the audience. I saw the fool Gu Baiyang at a glance, and he danced very seriously.Later, I always wanted to dance him ballet again.

At the graduation party, I changed into my favorite white dress, deliberately asked my classmates to push me out, and danced a ballet that only belonged to Gu Baiyang in full view.

I deliberately walked around in front of him and stopped. At that moment, I wished he could hold my hand like a knight and confess to me.

However, he looked away.

Those who haven't confessed after graduation are idiots.

as me.

That year was as crazy as summer, and in July of that year, many labors and swallows were separated. Many people thought that the parting was temporary, and the future would be long, and the future could be expected.But in many cases, the reunion requires thousands of people, and a city is separated, which means a lifetime.

When I learned that Gu Baiyang filled the university in city A, I was so angry that I had revealed my intention to return to the imperial capital countless times before. Even if he didn’t go to the imperial capital, he should have told me his wish in advance. He is going to city A.

I returned to the imperial capital at the end of July.

That summer, I sat on the plane back to the imperial capital and couldn't help crying.Even though I know that I can still go to City A to find Gu Baiyang to play with, I also know in my heart that the possibility between us is plummeting.

I was admitted to the Imperial Academy of Drama and studied acting.I want to attract attention and become a dazzling existence. This is my dream since I was a child. Dance can hardly bring me success, so I choose to find another way.

In those few years, the entertainment industry was in the limelight. There were many stars who became popular overnight, and there were also actors who devoted themselves to studying acting skills.My choice of the acting department was also agreed by my family, who were also interested in the prospects of the entertainment industry.

Xie Yuan and Jiang Xun are also in the imperial capital. One is a medical student and the other is a teacher. They are in the same university town, quite far away from me.

During the freshmen's military training, I went to the Medical University to play with An Xiaoqian and Xie Yuan. Through me, they officially met.Almost from the first time we met, I could tell that An Xiaoqian liked Xie Yuan.

This is so normal, liking Xie Yuan is a very common thing, being as outstanding and proud as An Xiaoqian, she has not escaped.For the girl who was so excited at that time, Xie Yuan amazed many people's time.

For me, Gu Baiyang is to me, Xie Yuan is to An Xiaoqian, they are all the same.Don't meet someone who is too amazing when you are young, it is difficult to approach and possess, and it is easy to waste your time with regrets throughout your life.

During the winter vacation of my freshman year, I went to look for Gu Baiyang in City A, and called him beforehand. He was waiting for me at the airport in City A early in the morning.

When I got out of the security check, I saw him in the crowd at a glance, still smiling silly.

I was actually still angry with Gu Baiyang, but after I realized that if I didn't contact him, he really wouldn't contact me, I compromised.What's the point of being angry with a stupid nerd.

"Gu Baiyang, do you miss me?"

He said yes.

I asked him again: "Then do you regret not going to the imperial capital with me?"

He froze for a moment, then shook his head.

I couldn't hide the disappointment in my eyes, but I still smiled and pulled Gu Baiyang to act like a baby, and asked him to accompany me to have fun in City A for two days.

Gu Baiyang and I went to many scenic spots in City A, ate a lot of special food in City A, drank beer and ate skewers on the street at midnight, and I never tire of telling him the fun things we encountered in school.

Gu Baiyang seldom responds to me, he just looks at me very seriously, making me feel that I am unique at that moment.

Gu Baiyang is from Liucheng, but he doesn't plan to go back for the whole winter vacation, he wants to work to earn money.When I was in high school, I guessed that his family was not very good, and I consciously avoided high consumption when I was with him.I just want to stay by Gu Baiyang's side forever.

When I returned to the imperial capital, I said to Gu Baiyang: "You must miss me, Gu Baiyang."

He said yes, with a very serious tone.

I always think that in those years, Gu Baiyang must have liked me, even though we never opened up and made it clear.I clearly felt the joy in his eyes, why didn't we get together in the end?

I started filming when I was in my sophomore year, and when I received a supporting role, I happily joined the crew.Later, I picked up some small-budget movies here and there, and gained some popularity within half a year.

I'm one step closer to the spotlight I want.

I went to City A again and asked Gu Baiyang to pick me up at the airport, but he didn't come. I was chased by fans at the airport, and I waited for him in the bathroom all afternoon, but he never showed up.

I was so angry that I smashed the phone in the bathroom, not daring to really break it, holding it in my hand and waiting for Gu Baiyang to call.It wasn't until eleven o'clock in the evening that he sent a text message, saying that he had something to do and would not come to pick me up.

I directly booked the earliest flight back to Imperial Capital the next day.

I joined the crew again and got angry with Gu Baiyang while filming, but this time he didn't coax me like before.

After another half month, I gave up and went to City A again.

This time Gu Baiyang came to pick me up. He lost weight and became whiter. I almost didn't recognize him at the airport.

Gu Baiyang didn't mention anything about the past, he took me to eat noodles in clear soup, picked out the chopped green onion in the bowl for me without saying a word, then lowered his head and swallowed his own bowl whole.

He suddenly opened his mouth and said to me: "Meng Yan, in the future, I must remember to tell my boss what taboos I have."

I didn't know what to say and felt like a little kid who did something wrong.

"We are not people of one world," he said.

"Why aren't you from the same world?" I said, "Then I would like to come to your world?"

Gu Baiyang pulled out an unnatural smile, he said: "Why don't you ask if I am willing?"

I suddenly felt that I was so angry that I couldn't hold back my face, and left City A sadly again.

This walk is more than half a year.

I am a very proud person, my pride and self-esteem do not allow me to chase after Gu Baiyang again and again.So then I suppressed myself not to contact him, and he didn't contact me either.

Like the world evaporates.

I was invited to a party as a guest performer, singing my solo song "Star" in the play, and saw Liang Shaoting in the audience.

I was quite surprised that Liang Shaoting returned to China.I don't know him very well, he is much older than me, he can be regarded as the elder brother next door, and he is the kind of serious and outstanding person, I didn't dare to look him directly since I was a child.

It was Liang Shaoting who took me home that night, and to be precise, we were also on the way. The Meng family and the Liang family are very close.I was in the same space with Liang Shaoting, which made me very nervous.

When I finally got out of the car, I quickly said, "Thank you, Brother Shaoting."

Liang Shaoting was as cold as ice, his paralyzed face made me feel guilty for no reason.

After a long time, he said lightly: "Go back and rest early."

I went home, stayed up half the night, and finally couldn't bear to call Gu Baiyang again.

No one heard.