Identity swap

Ji Jie never asked me to quit, but I know he never gave up.I was raised at home for many days, and he also stayed with me at home for many days, almost turning down all the entertainment.He carefully checked the injuries on my hands and feet every day, but he didn't ask for anything.

There is a locked door in his house. The door lock is a little rusty, but it can be seen that it has been carefully wiped by the cleaners.I asked him what was in it, and he smiled and said it was very important to him, he liked it for many years, but he doesn't need it now.

Qin Huai kept calling me, I guess he wanted to scold me, so he didn't answer his calls.

He changed his cell phone number and begged me to meet him almost in a pleading tone.I haven't been out of this house for a long time. Qin Huai said he went to Luoyang to look for me, but when he couldn't find me, he went downstairs to Jianghuaiyuan. Finally, he sent someone to check and found out that I was here.

He said that he couldn't see me coming out of Ji Jie downstairs.

When I was on the phone, I turned on the speakerphone, and Ji Jie was sitting next to me watching TV. After a while, he asked me, "Do you want to see him?"

I was silent, and he said: "Since it's rare to want to go out, then you go, go around and don't get bored at home, remember to come back on time, I will prepare it for you"

In fact, Ji Jie is the same as me. After returning from the happy community, he hardly went out. The two of us have nothing to do in the house. When I am awake, he will watch TV or play games. Sometimes I play with him. He looks like a primary school student, and I scolded him several times, he looks like a pug who has lost his temper.

I get lazy, even fresh vegetables are bought and delivered to the door, but Ji Jie rarely takes the time to cook all kinds of supplements for me, but he does not taste good, I suspect he wants to poison me .

Putting on a simple long-sleeved shirt, wearing jeans and sneakers, I went out, and I wore a mask. When I looked in the mirror, I realized that I was skinny and my face was pale, like a serious illness.No wonder Ji Jie forced me to take various supplements every day.

Ji Jie looked at me, wanting to say something, his lips moved, but he didn't say anything.

Stepping out of the elevator, it seemed like a lifetime away. The world was so bright that I couldn't open my eyes. After walking a few steps, I seemed a little afraid of light, and I was like a ghost living in the dark night.The sun was shining on my body, it was too hot, I had to avoid the sun, and then I bought a parasol at a supermarket.

As the Mid-Autumn Festival approached, festive lanterns were hung on the street, and different styles of music were played in the shops facing the street. The bustling crowd made me a little dizzy, so I put away my umbrella and walked along the shade.

Before turning the corner, I looked at the transparent glass window to take care of my image, and I always felt that going to see Qin Huai with this appearance might make him worry.

I hesitated, lowered my head and adjusted the white long sleeves on my body.This long-sleeve dress makes me look extra thin, but if I don't wear long sleeves, I can't cover the needle holes on my arms.

Leaning against the wall facing the street, I reached out for a pack of cigarettes and lit it.

I didn't smoke at first, because it would damage my singing voice, but sometimes Ji Jie didn't prepare enough, and he would put meth in the cigarette to keep me alive. If my life was almost gone, why would I care about my singing voice?

I can see Qin Huai just around the corner, but I'm always worried.

Qin Huai invited me to a quiet small coffee shop, which is my favorite place, quiet.

He stood at the door waiting for me. I don't know how long he waited. When I asked him, he said he had just arrived.

I smiled at him, but he still had a straight face, but his eyes were a little red and swollen, he squeezed my arm and asked me why I was so thin, like recovering from a serious illness.I smiled and said you are not much better.

It can be seen that Qin Huai has cleaned up carefully today. He has never been so serious when he went out to meet guests before, but there is always a heavy melancholy on his brows, like a wound that cannot fade away, or a poison that I can't get rid of.

I saw Jiang Huaiyuan sitting in the corner of the coffee shop. He saw me and slowly stood up, even less energetic than the last time I saw him. I looked back at Qin Huai and said, "Aren't we the two of us today?" ?”

Qin Huai said: "He insists on coming to see you, I can't help it"

I sat next to Qin Huai, and Jiang Huaiyuan ordered me black coffee with sugar.He didn't remember it before, and he doesn't know why he remembers it now.

He said, "You're so thin that I can't even recognize you..."

"Hmm." I nodded, not knowing where my eyes should look.

Now I am not the one who loves him without hesitation, even if he can come to me across the whole of China again, I will not be able to drive 20 miles in the snow like before, waiting for him at the station for hours.

Jiang Huaiyuan said with red eyes: "It's only been less than half a year, how can you be so thin?"

I said, "Don't be like this, it's easy to be misunderstood."

Next to him is a guitar, which is in a guitar backpack. I haven’t touched it since the graduation party. I thought it was troublesome and didn’t take it with me when I left.

I glanced up at him and said, "What did you bring it for?"

Jiang Huaiyuan picked it up, handed it to me, and said he hoped I would practice more, as well as relieve boredom

It's really inappropriate to keep my things in his place. After all, I bought them with my own money. It's better to separate some things, so as not to be troublesome in the future.

Qin Huai took out a cigarette, looked at me and put it back, I said you smoke it, it's okay, I will smoke it too.

Jiang Huaiyuan kept looking at the ring on my hand, I put my hand under the table, avoiding his gaze, and said, "What do you want me to do?"

Jiang Huaiyuan hesitated for a moment, and said, "Xiao Zhao's condition is not very good recently, you should go and see him."

I smiled and said, "Can you stop bringing Yang Zhao out every time you see me?"

Qin Huai was silent, quietly listening to the conversation between Jiang Huaiyuan and me.

Jiang Huaiyuan seemed a little uncomfortable, and said: "Lin Chen, you know, Xiao Zhao can't leave me now, he..."

I interrupted him and said I know, I have nothing to do and I will leave first.

Jiang Huaiyuan pulled me anxiously and said, "Don't, Lin Chen, don't leave..."

I looked back at the silent Qin Huai, and continued to sit down.

Qin Huai said: "Aunt Lin has also been very ill recently. She sends people everywhere to look for you, saying that she wants to meet you and listen to the piano you play. You can do whatever you want. If you don't want to see her, I'll play one for her. You can take it back with you"

My stepmother has always been in poor health, so she just loves to worry about me.For so many years by my dad's side, I have always been close to each other, and I don't know what the picture is.

I always feel that she cares more about my mother than my father.

I didn't ask Yang Zhao why he had problems with his physical condition, anyway, he was no worse than me, one sickness and three sicknesses, as if they were trying their best to compete, they were all a family, it was unlucky enough, I don't know Who can live to the end.

Yang Zhao called, Jiang Huaiyuan answered the phone for a while, then handed me the phone, I looked at him suspiciously, and he said in a pleading tone, "Please answer it."

For Yang Zhao, he cared more than anyone else.I looked at him for a while, then answered the phone, Yang Zhao's voice came from inside, sick and out of breath, he said: "Brother, come here, I have something to ask you, something very important... "

He panted for a while, as if he was trying to adjust his breathing, and said, "You must come... Also, ask Ji Jie to come together, you must come"

I'm a little confused, it's fine if he told me to go, what did he ask Ji Jie to do?

Yang Zhao kept repeating these few words, I said okay, I will take Ji Jie to see you.

Jiang Huaiyuan took back his phone and said, "Lin Chen, let me take you there."

I said, "No, Ji Jie has a car, I'll just ask him to deliver it."

I called Ji Jie and said that Yang Zhao wanted to see him and asked if he was free.

Ji Jie said calmly: "Baby, you go home, it's almost time"

I said he sounded very ill, you can send me there.

Ji Jie was silent for a while, and said, "Where are you, baby, I'll pick you up"

After that meeting, Ji Jie began to change his attitude towards me, being responsive to my requests, but never asking, being polite and alienated.

I guess Ji Jie still loves Yang Zhao.But I couldn't figure it out, since Ji Jie loves Yang Zhao, why did he hug me and kiss me in front of him? He is like a primary school student who loves to show off. He thought he could hug Yang Zhao to meet his love rival, but instead It was only later that I found out that the real Yang Zhao was in the arms of my rival.

In this game, I don't know who is the winner.

Of course I am not, I am just an unlucky passerby.

Qin Huai said he wanted to chat with me alone, Jiang Huaiyuan walked out of the coffee shop and sat on a long chair outside to wait for me.

I asked what I wanted to talk about, and he asked if I hadn't given up on Jiang Huaiyuan.

I was a little bit amused by his question, and said, "Where do you have such strange questions?"

Qin Huai snorted and said, "Do you know it yourself?"

I said I was going to the hospital just now and took you to the ophthalmology department.

He was so angry that he wanted to hit me, I laughed until tears came out, and I almost couldn't breathe.

Qin Huai asked me if I was taking drugs, with a natural attitude and a laid-back look, he just squinted his eyes and looked at me with his head tilted.I said haha ​​that I lost weight.

He listened to my arm for a while, and I felt like I was going to be seen through.

But he just said: "Since you have seen Yang Zhao, you should go back. Aunt Lin misses you very much, and so does my mother, who yells every day that no one goes shopping with her..."

I put my arms behind my back and smiled: "I'll go back when I have time, but shopping or something, I have to wait later"

I don't know if there will be a future.

I feel that Qin Huai still has a lot to say. He begged me to come out, but in the end he said some irrelevant things. If he said it, I might think about it no matter what.

Jiang Huaiyuan was standing beside me, I was holding an umbrella, he said: "You and him...have a good relationship"

I smiled: "Yeah, after all, there are really very few people who can be friends with me for a few years, and no one can bear me like this."

Jiang Huaiyuan leaned on the lamppost, looked at me, and said, "You look like you just woke up, did you have a bad day?"

I said it was fine, isn't this still alive?

I'm telling the truth, if I hadn't had a good time, I'd have taken a knife and slit my arteries.

Sometimes I feel very tired from living, and I don’t want to persist anymore. I dream in the middle of the night, and I often dream of the days when I still have amnesia. The dreams are too intoxicating. Once I wake up, I will want to use poison to give myself In a fantasy, you will go crazy and run up to the rooftop, looking at the dark night below from top to bottom, or get up when you can't sleep, break a porcelain bowl, and watch the blood drain from your wrist like a masochist.

Drug addiction and Jianghuai are far away, I don't know which one is more uncomfortable.

Every time this happened, Ji Jie would be so scared that he was at a loss. He got up in the middle of the night and hugged me. He was so frightened that he told me not to do this and tie my hands and feet with iron chains.

Ji-jae also looks like a drugged-up patient.

My poison is in my body, but his poison is in my heart.

Drug addiction can be quit, but I don’t know whether heart addiction can be quit.

There are a lot of vehicles on this road, and the sound of horns keeps coming and going, making people a little upset, but there are only zebra crossings and no traffic lights here, and pedestrians don't know how to cross the road.

I always stay away from big trucks or heavy trucks. After being discharged from the hospital for so long, I still haven’t gotten used to such a dense traffic flow. Sometimes when I stand on the side of the road, I will think in my mind, is the big truck passing by me in the next second? To overturn and crush me into a patty.

I have such a heart of fear, probably because I still have a small desire to survive to support me.

Ji Jie drove a very plain car over, parked on the opposite side of the road and waved to me, I yelled at him: "You drive here"

There was too much traffic, he obviously didn't hear clearly, so he said loudly "Huh?", I tried my best to gesture, Ji Jie was probably a piece of wood, so he couldn't understand people's words.

Jiang Huaiyuan looked at me in a hurry and said, "I'll take you there."