Identity swap

When was the last time Jiang Huaiyuan held my hand?

I don't know whether it's because the time passed too fast or the days were too monotonous, but I can't remember such trivial things vaguely.I checked the relevant information about drug abuse, and I don’t know if I will become a fool in the future.

His palm is still warm, but unfortunately, besides giving me a little warmth, after letting go, a surge of cold comes from the bottom of my heart.I refused to contact him, turned my face away and did not want to see him, but I had to follow behind him step by step.

When I got into Ji Jie's car, Ji Jie glanced at Jiang Huaiyuan, and then at the guitar in my hand. There was emotion in his eyes that I couldn't understand, and he insisted on fastening the seat belt for me in front of him.

Jiang Huaiyuan drove behind, I looked at the slowly moving traffic outside the window, Ji Jie looked at me, took out a few tissues and handed them over, but I didn't pick them up, he got up in the traffic jam to wipe my tears, I said I will do it myself.

He turned on the music library and asked me what I wanted to hear, and I said whatever, better be happy.

Ji Jie smiled and read me a nursery rhyme, I was not in the mood to laugh at his childishness.

Ji Jie said: "Darling, are you sad again when you see your lover?"

I said, "drive your car well"

Ji Jie was silent for a while, then turned to me and said, "Baby, think about me, okay?"

I leaned on the co-pilot and said with a smile: "I miss you only when I'm crazy, you crazy"

When I was still "Yang Zhao" in the past, Ji Jie would make a big fuss about my disobedience occasionally, even if my fingers were bloody and my face was torn, he would not back down; after knowing that I was Lin Chen, he treated me very well. Be polite, the same as Jiang Huaiyuan at that time.But that's good, at least I don't have to try to please him, even if I lose my temper occasionally, scold him, or destroy his house, he won't get angry.

He's trying to make amends, and I haven't decided whether to forgive him or not.

But hating someone is also very difficult.

Ji Jie concentrated on driving the car, looked in the rearview mirror at the car following him, and asked me if I still love Jiang Huaiyuan.

Qin Huai also asked this question just now, I sighed how could there be such a sympathetic person in this world, I stretched out my leg and kicked him, and he laughed.

The hospital parking lot is some distance away from the gate, and the residual temperature of the autumn afternoon has not dropped at all, and the air is full of stuffy smell.Ji Jie held an umbrella for me, and I said I would come by myself, but he didn't let go, which made me a little embarrassed.

Jiang Huaiyuan looked at the two of us, and when I turned my head, he looked away, hiding so clearly.

Ji Jie deliberately walked some distance away from Jiang Huai, and whispered to me: "Baby, hurry back later, it won't be good after time"

I said nothing will happen.

The corridors of the hospital were densely packed with sickbeds, and the sound of asthma and coughing continued, just like the scene I saw when I went to the hospital for an internship.Yang Zhao lived in a single ward, wearing a breathing mask, met me, and looked at Ji Jie behind me.

He stared at Ji Jie holding my hand, looked away, and said, "Brother, let's talk alone first."

Through the breathing mask, he spoke a little weakly, and his face was pale. I asked Ji Jie to go out and wait first. Jiang Huaiyuan said a few words to Yang Zhao, and then went out.

I pulled the chair to the edge of the hospital bed and sat down. Yang Zhao took a deep breath and said with difficulty: "Brother... I have never had anything to do with Jiang Huaiyuan."

Yang Zhao stared straight at me, speaking too frankly, with eyes that desperately hoped for me to tell him, which made me feel tight in my chest.

I don't know what to say.

When Yang Zhao knelt down for me, my world also collapsed.

I looked at the snow-white sheets, and my throat was always stuck in my throat when I wanted to say something. I couldn't deny that I was more uncomfortable now than when Jiang Huaiyuan said that he would move out.

If I quit, it will make both of them happy, even if I don't want to, I will do it.But now I realize that after going around in circles, the work was in vain, and none of the three of them had ever been happy, and it was no longer possible for me to go back and live with him without any grievances.

Yang Zhao couldn't wait for my answer, grabbed my hand and said, "Brother, I was wrong, I shouldn't be jealous of you, I was so jealous that I pushed you out, and I shouldn't have come back to snatch Brother Yuan from you just to make you sick." ...I actually love Ji Jie, not Jiang Huaiyuan...I was really wrong...Ji Jie is my life, brother...Can you, can you give me Ji Jie?"

His face was pale, weeping while talking, he held my arm tightly like a life-saving straw, he breathed for a while, the breathing mask was full of white gas.I was a little dizzy, Ji Jie rushed in, supported me, his face was full of anxiety, and asked me how I was doing.

Yang Zhao stared at Ji Jie closely, I gently pushed Ji Jie away, and said, "Yang Zhao... seems to have something to tell you, please talk about it."

Ji Jie glanced at Yang Zhao and frowned: "No, baby, you have to go home now"

I said, "Go ahead, don't you always love him in your heart?"

Ji Jie was surprised at first, and then said angrily: "Who told you that I love him?"

I walked a few steps, Ji Jie rushed up and grabbed my hand, I threw it away, and was grabbed again.I yelled: "You all lie to me together, one, two, three, I was fine... I was fine, you all came up to lie to me in turn, don't I have a temper? Which of you ever thought about me ?”

Ji Jie was a little dazed, standing and looking at me at a loss, I stepped back a few steps and rushed out the door, Ji Jie was about to catch up, but Yang Zhao grabbed him, Ji Jie roared: "Yang Zhao, you, damn it let go"

He pushed Yang Zhao away violently, but failed.Jiang Huaiyuan had been standing outside the door, seeing me rushing out, blocked my way, and said, "Lin Chen, calm down."

I looked into the ward, Yang Zhao had already taken off his breathing mask, pressed Ji Jie's head down hard, kissed his lips for a while, couldn't breathe, and still refused to let go.

Ji Jie threw him away and yelled at him: "Yang Zhao, are you fucking crazy?"

I said, "Jiang Huaiyuan, you already knew that Yang Zhao actually doesn't love you, right?"

JAC did not deny it.

I yelled, "You, mother, get out of here too."

I didn't want to hear any more and rushed out.

Counting carefully, I have lived in this city for a year or two, and I still have no sense of belonging.The phone kept ringing, it was Ji Jie, the ringing sound was annoying, I turned off the phone, smashed the phone on the road, and was run over by a car the next second, the truck driver stuck his head out and scolded me In a word, I walked into the small alley angrily, and walked to a small bar, wanting to go in for a drink, touched my pocket, found no money, and threw away my mobile phone.

The first time I entered a bar, it was the night I wanted to indulge, and I met Ji Jie there.It's still not like liking him, but it's not hating him either.

On weekdays, he is kind to me.

When I wanted to fall, he just sent me on a road of no return.

After walking aimlessly on the street for a long time, I walked to the university unknowingly, and ran into A Mao.Ah Mao said that she didn't dare to apply for the university she wanted, and chose her alma mater for graduate school. After all, the pressure of competition was too great, and she didn't dare to take risks without guarantees.Chatted with me for a while, then asked how I was doing.

I tell everyone it's good.

Ah Mao probably also knew about me, and like Song Qi at the time, she didn't know what to call me, and used "you" instead.

It can be seen that she is very busy, and when she was about to leave at last, she said, "Give me a hug."

I smiled and opened my arms to take her into my arms.

She said: "Don't keep everything in your heart, you are very nice, really"

I said, "You said that I am a good person. If I were to be put on a TV series, I would be the second child of ten thousand years."

If she doesn't say that, I'm just the second child of ten thousand years, and I can be regarded as the boss just because I am the protagonist's brother.

I don't know what I'm going to do here, but the only thing I can be sure of is that I'm not here to reminisce about the past.Maybe just looking for a place to rest.

The sky was slowly getting dark, I stood up and planned to go back, a little swaying, like the vertigo when I was sitting on the roof and looking downstairs.

I knew that after a while, the addiction would kick in.

I should have discovered it earlier. Even if I took a shortcut, it would be too late. I'm afraid I would be discovered on the road and sent to a drug rehabilitation center, right?

In fact, it would be nice to think about a drug rehab center, maybe there will be a single room.Slowly linger alive.

To take a shortcut, I had to cross the main road. I watched the traffic flow, stayed for a while, walked forward, and then stood still halfway.

Still a red light.

Maybe it’s all a dream, and if I experience it again, I can go back to the past, or maybe I’m still sleeping in the piano room when I wake up.

He was suddenly dragged and walked for a while, when a large car sped past and narrowly missed his feet.Jiang Huaiyuan dragged me, his face was pale with fright, there was thin sweat on his forehead, and his palms were also sweaty.He gasped for breath, and I broke his hand and walked forward.

He followed behind, and said with red eyes: "Lin Chen, you just want to die, don't you, can't you think about me?"

Does he still need me to worry about him as a living person?

Jiang Huaiyuan grabbed my hand, I struggled away, he grabbed me again, and pulled me into a taxi, and several passers-by looked at us and covered their faces and smiled.

I told Ji Jie's address, but Jiang Huaiyuan didn't listen, and asked the driver to take me back to his home.

Addiction strikes halfway.Jiang Huaiyuan saw that I was wrong, lifted my arm, his face was ashen, and quickly blocked the driver's sight.

The driver listened to my yelling and asked him if he wanted to go to the hospital instead. Jiang Huaiyuan put his arm over my mouth and said he was my doctor, urging the driver to drive quickly.I was still conscious, so I bit my own hands instead. I couldn't tell the severity of the bite, and my arms were bloody.There are so many needle holes that I can't wait to tear off the whole arm.

Jiang Huaiyuan kept calling me "Lin Chen", and when he called, I yelled at him.He hugged me tightly, stretched out his hand to call Ji Jie, the smell on his body was too familiar, I bit his shoulder for a while, blood oozing, and pushed away.

It was a 10-minute drive, quite a distance, and I fought back as he wrestled me through the door, but I was pushed in anyway.

I've never made such an ugly face in front of him.

Ji Jie knocked on the door loudly, calling my name loudly.Jiang Huaiyuan opened the door and slapped Ji Jie backhand without saying a word.Ji Jie stared at him, opened the medicine box without saying a word and gave me an injection test.

Jiang Huaiyuan was a doctor, so he naturally knew what he was holding.

Usually, after the injection, I would be weak at most, but now my consciousness can no longer maintain my sobriety.After the drug addiction torture is over, I often collapse from exhaustion, sweat all over my body, and convulse when I move.Thoughts grow wildly and mix with memory, the spirit is often on the verge of danger, and it can't be stopped.