Afraid of getting angry, just drink me

Wang Luoji became famous at a young age, and because of the blessing of the title of "Film King", he has always been worshiped as the emperor in the circle.Such a pampered emperor would either drive a supercar or pick him up in a nanny car when he went out.

It was the first time he had suffered in this stuffy, cramped old car.

The journey was long, hot and crowded, and Wang Laoji was so uncomfortable that he couldn't sleep, so he opened the "private message" in the game software and started a daily cheat.

Click on the top chat box inside, and enter: "Hey, brother, are you there? (Blink Kazilan's big eyes.jpg)"

Wang Luoji's online name is "Drink me when you get angry".Even Xiaoye, a hard-core sycophant, couldn't help showing a curled up expression when she first heard the name.

Xiaoye: I drink your mother.

Celebrities have to hide their identities as much as possible when they are on the Internet, so Wang Luoji set this account as "gender female".

In a game, he met a netizen named "Roasted Banana". Although the two of them are a rookie and a big boss, their strengths are very different, but they chatted unexpectedly, so they added each other as friends. Open black together from time to time.

Chatting by the way.

Chatting is chatting, but who is making the show is obviously Wang Yingdi, who has ever-changing acting skills.The other party is a straight guy with a single mind and a stupid mind, and he can't help his various high-ranking flirtations, which makes the situation develop towards the "ambiguous" side.

The little straight man thought he was a woman from the very beginning, and Wang Luoji didn't explain.Later, as the chat progressed, he was afraid that confessing would damage their relationship, so he acted out of selfishness and deliberately concealed it in such a vicious way.

The film king is worthy of being the film king, and Wang Luoji's acting skills are equally superb in the virtual world, deceiving the other party as if he was taken advantage of.

The phone vibrated, and the little straight man replied: "Yes, what's the matter with the baby?"

Wang Luoji typed: "I am very unhappy today, I want to cry, 34D's chest is stuffy, my brother will chat with me ('??? `)~"

In Wang Dayingwang's sweet thinking, Yanwen is the essence of acting like a baby on the Internet.

The other party really liked this, and replied in seconds: "Why is the baby unhappy?"

The little straight man turned his heart to Mingyue, and Wang Luoji was not without guilt, but he tried to find a reason to offend himself: At first, I only wanted to wear a vest and flirt with others, and I didn't even think about meeting people when I was a girl. Online dating ah...

Wang Wang lied to his acting skills online: "Oh, oh, oh, brother is so caring! Kiss you mua! I have trouble at work, and for the sake of a few bad money, I have to be forced to do something I don't like (crying.jpg) "

The little straight man paused for half a minute, and his mind ran wildly towards dirty words such as "forced to go to sea", "sell himself to pay off debts", "forced to be prostitutes", and the more he thought about it, the more something went wrong.

He typed quickly and persuaded: "Girls should cherish themselves, and don't do this kind of thing. Money is not the most important thing. What is important is your pure heart and angelic soul. This is your most important thing." Precious things! Silly baby, are you short of money? My brother is here, don’t be afraid, you can find me if you encounter difficulties!”

The little straight man continued to sprinkle chicken soup, and he was really innocent and cute, and Wang Luoji suddenly felt a lot better:

Look, fortunately he met me, not cheating money or sex, only cheating heart, if it were someone else, this idiot would have been scammed to the point where he didn't even have any underwear left.

The deceitful Wang Wang lied back: "No, I just want to work in a place I don't like. He is a young public, it is difficult to adapt to a strange environment, and he will be afraid. (Hug.jpg)"

The little straight man was so distressed that he couldn't add more: "Baby has worked hard, baby must be strong, the sharp edge of the sword comes from sharpening, and the fragrance of plum blossoms comes from the bitter cold. Big brother cheers for you!"

The other party's innocence and kindness did not catch Wang Luoji's conscience.On the contrary, the doggy man got worse: "I appreciate my brother's kindness~ (kiss and hug and hold high.jpg) But I still want to act like a baby with my good brother, so sad, oh~~"

When he typed out this cute text that shook the world and wept ghosts and gods, Wang Luoji was so disgusted by himself that he almost vomited the overnight meal.

Online dating is hard.

Pretending to be a cute girl dating a straight man online is even more difficult.

The little straight man coaxed patiently and gently: "Don't cry, don't cry, kiss my little baby"

The screen of the mobile phone emitted a faint white light, reflecting a devilish smile on Wang Laoji's face, and he typed: "Then brother, can you tell me a joke? (Swing little arm.jpg)"

Chatting with straight men is so much fun, as soon as the news was sent out, Wang Luoji laughed so hard that his shoulders trembled, Xiaoye thought his boss was crazy.

Xiaoye: Hiss, it's so scary.

About half a minute later, the other party's joke came: "Before Yu Gong died, he called his son to the bed and said: 'Move the mountains! Move the mountains!' His son: 'Sparkling?' So Yu Gong died."

The little straight guy is not very good at telling jokes.

It's so cold, the kind of cold where the room temperature drops ten degrees.

Xiaoye witnessed the smile on his boss's face fade away from the rearview mirror, and even shuddered.

The lingering rhyme of the cold joke was too long, and Wang Luoji typed expressionlessly: "Wow, my god~ Brother, the jokes you told are so funny, you must have a lot of interesting things in your mind~ Hello everyone I adore you!"

Soared with good acting skills, and fascinated the other party.

In this way, he chatted with the little straight man for a full two hours before you and I ended this boring and panic conversation.

Little straight man: "Baby 88, don't be unhappy, I love you~"

Wang Luoji: "Bye bye, brother, are you okay?"

The two parties reluctantly went offline, and the sweetness of love lingered in their hearts for a long time.Even if this relationship is built on deceit and lies, it is like a tall building built on the beach, just waiting for the day when a wave knocks it down.

The tiring drive finally ended, and they arrived at the entrance of Shabian Village.Xiaoye parked the car at the edge of a green field, and both of them got out of the car to get some air after being bored all the way.

It has to be said that Shabian Village is surrounded by mountains, full of greenery, and there are many unnamed birds jumping around. It is a beautiful place.

If you take a deep breath of air, a large amount of oxygen ions will rush into your lungs instantly, giving you the feeling of prolonging your life.

However, Wang Luoji has always been used to living in the bustling city, he sneered at the humble appearance here, and he didn't like it at all.

With a sensitive nose, he smelled a vague smell of cow dung, frowned, covered his nose with his knuckles, disgusted, "Tsk..."

Xiaoye tried to contact Party A again. He called the phone number in the contract, but the voice still said "The phone you dialed has been turned off."

He didn't know how to go after entering the village, so he could only ask for directions, but this kind of rural place seems to be inaccessible...

After waiting for a long time without seeing anyone, Xiaoye decided to go a little farther to see the situation, "Brother Wang, wait for me here, I will go to the front and ask someone to see how to go to that market."

"Yes," Wang Luoji nodded.

Xiaoye whimpered and ran towards the small road in the village, layers of fat on her body shaking up and down with her jumping steps.

There was only Wang Laoji left beside the car. He leaned against the car door boredly, took out a cigarette from his pocket, lit it, held it lightly in his mouth, and took a puff of nicotine.

In this kind of place where the birds don't shit, the chemicals in the cigarette seem to become unacceptable, and it doesn't play the role of dispelling the drowsiness.Insects and birds chirped all around, but Wang Laoji sounded like he was hypnotizing.

He was a little sleepy, and a little craving for thin sashimi.

In the curling smoke, the handsome man and the emerald green field behind him blend naturally into a beautiful oil painting.

People and scenery match unexpectedly.

At this time, Jiao Jiao, carrying a large bundle of sugar cane, was walking towards this side.

The boy stepped on a pair of plastic water boots and wore a huge straw hat. The white earphones played in a loop: "Eight hundred pacesetters are running north! The artillerymen are running side by side..."

This tongue twister sounds very exciting.Jiao Jiao hummed and sang along, her voice was majestic and mighty, if not for her thin body, she would have looked a bit like a man rushing to fight.

When passing by a Changan Benben, because the side of his face was covered by a clump of sugarcane leaves, which blocked his sight, he didn't notice the person leaning beside the car——

Wang Laoji.

Wang Luoji saw Jiao Jiao at a glance. Of course, it was also because the other party's self-proclaimed singing was so loud that even the deaf could hear it.

He thought to himself: Looking at this man's unpretentious clothes and natural earthy temperament, he must be a local farmer.

"Hey," Wang Luoji called out to the young farmer, "Guys, how do I get to the farmer's market?"

Jiao Jiao was wearing earphones, the volume was very loud, but she didn't hear it.

Seeing that the boy was about to go farther and farther, Wang Laoji threw away the cigarette butt in his hand, took two or three steps to catch up, and patted the other person on the back, "Hey!"

Jiao Jiao turned around on the spot, and the long and thick bundle of sugarcane on his shoulders was like a big stick, turning with his body's rotation, and suddenly swept towards the people behind him unexpectedly.

The defenseless Wang Laoji couldn't dodge...

This star Wang had just arrived, and suddenly encountered such an innocent disaster. He was directly knocked down by a large bundle of sugarcane in the nearby field ditch.

The world was spinning, and the originally handsome and decent man rolled like a rubber ball for three and a half weeks, falling into a ditch full of weeds with graceful posture and ugly movements.

"..."

Wang Luoji lay on his back on the smelly field mud, still not understanding what he did wrong.

He secretly had a premonition: this absurd start was just an insignificant starting point in the disasters that he would have to experience in the future.

Turning around, Jiao Jiao glanced flatly, and couldn't help wondering: "Huh? No one?"

He clearly felt someone slapped him just now?Turning around to look, there was no one there... The boy was surprised: Is there something unclean? !

He hastily recited silently: "Amitabha, Amitabha."

While trembling with fear, Jiao Jiao vaguely heard a cry.He took off his headphones and listened, and someone was indeed shouting "Help" in a hoarse voice.

Hastily put down the sugarcane on her shoulders, Jiao Jiao looked around following the sound, but only heard the sound but could not see the person, it was really weird.

He asked loudly into the air, "Who is calling for help?"

"I'm here—! Below! In the ditch!" Wang Luoji wanted to cry but had no tears.

Hearing this sentence, Jiao Jiao quickly bent down and pawed at the edge of the field, poked his head straight into the crevice of the ditch, and sure enough saw a strange man lying down there.

Still a handsome guy.

In Wang Laoji's field of vision, a white and clean face suddenly appeared in the clear blue sky——

Jiao Jiao lifted off the straw hat on his head, and let out a head of black and smooth short hair in the breeze. The bright sunlight suddenly illuminated the handsome face of the boy, and a few broken hairs that got in the way moved with the wind and were wrapped around him. Behind the two lovely protruding ears.

This beautiful and hearty boy was the culprit who swept Wang Daxingxing into the ditch.

"Sir, are you alright?" Jiao Jiao asked him, blinking her big black eyes.

"I...!" The man swallowed the sentence "F*ck you bastard" that came to his lips, and it turned into two words that could not hear any resentment or anger, "It's okay. …”

At this moment, Wang Luoji looked at the boy's face in front of him, and suddenly felt:

Shabian Village, a place that doesn't shit like a bird, seems to be quite worth visiting.

The author says:

Wang Gouji: Being an online scammer is much more enjoyable than being a hacker.It's fucking fun.

Jiao Jiao: Find out about Chasing Wife Crematorium.