Afraid of getting angry, just drink me

Under Xiaoye's persuasion, Wang Luoji finally agreed to go to the farmer's market to speak for him.

Xiaoye is a very competent assistant, but her mind makes mistakes every now and then.He misremembered the date, and they were supposed to leave for Shabian Village tomorrow, but they left early today.

Wang Luoji was carrying an LV travel bag. As soon as he walked out of the villa, he saw a car that was incompatible with the environment of this community...

Chang'an is running.

Leaning against the red box car, Xiaoye smiled like a slob, and waved to him excitedly: "Brother Wang, get in the car!"

"?" Wang Luoji looked at the car painted with Snoopy, and almost fell over.

"This is—" he took a deep breath before he could finish, "the beloved wife you talk about every day?"

"Yes!" Xiaoye nodded.

Wang Laoji's face suddenly looked like a rotten egg. He threw the bag in his hand on the ground with a "bang" and went back to the house without saying a word. He got a half-meter-long chicken killing knife from the kitchen, full of murderous looks. He rushed towards the car, determined to tear Xiaoye's "beloved wife" into pieces.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" Xiaoye grabbed the big killer in his hand and vowed to protect her lover to the death, "Please be merciful, don't hurt my lover, it is innocent!"

"I can't stand this kind of low-end broken car lowering the quality of my travel!" Wang Luoji turned into a furious monster, "You let me go out in this car? How is that different from taking a children's rocking car to the street?! What should I do if the paparazzi catches it? I don’t want to lose face?!”

"Stupidity is the best protective color!" Xiaoye howled the truth anxiously, "Brother Wang, don't worry, no paparazzi will come to shoot you now, they also want to make money to eat, why shoot you stupid."

"..." Wang Luoji didn't know whether to kill people or cars.

*

On the other side, Jiao Jiao was sitting in the room dealing with this month's fruit wholesale list, carefully checking each one.However, at the end of this long and tiring approval process, he was interrupted.

His uncle rushed in and urged, "Have you contacted that Mr. Wang?"

"Oh, forgot," the boy scratched his head, still busy checking the wholesale bill.

"How can you forget such an important thing? Hurry up and call them!" Gao Gao was dizzy with his anger, "Also, they should arrive tomorrow, so remember to go to the village to pick them up."

"Yeah," Jiao Jiao opened the drawer, found out the endorsement contract, and raised her eyebrows, "Is this the one?"

"Yes. You can ask him what kind of car he comes in. It will be easy to identify. It is likely to be a luxury car such as a Rolls-Royce, Budweiser, or a nanny car. You remember to be polite, don't treat people badly..."

"Oh, that's fine," Jiao Jiao couldn't help interrupting his nagging, "Didn't you hold a welcome ceremony? As long as you married your daughter-in-law, you won't be treated badly!"

The boy peeled a banana and gagged his uncle's mouth, saying each word: "I will treat that Wanglaoji well."

What he didn't expect was that "Wanglaoji" was already on his way...

Under Xiaoye's earnest persuasion, Wang Luoji still got into this working-class car.As a standard nine-headed man, he was forced to shrug his hands and feet, tilt his head and shoulders while sitting in the small car.

It was as uncomfortable as sitting on the toilet lid of a public toilet.

Seeing him moving back and forth uncomfortably, like a loach being electrocuted, Xiaoye asked: "Brother Wang, what's the matter? No, not feeling well?"

Wang Luoji gritted his back molars and said, "Drive your car, don't talk to me, I want to kill you as soon as you make a sound."

"Here." Xiaoye Zhixiang, who is with you like a Siberian tiger, shuts up.

Wang Luoji curled up on the low car seat, every minute and every second was suffering, and the emotions of confusion and sleepiness surged again.

He didn't know what kind of place the "Shabian Village" he was going to be, and he didn't know what kind of people he would meet there.He has no idea of ​​his future.

The man's two long legs were forced to curl up, and he asked in a bad tone: "Have you contacted Party A?"

"The other party can't get through to the phone," Xiaoye said with a trembling voice as he was driving the car with trepidation, "Persist, it will be a two-hour drive and we will arrive soon."

"Two hours... two minutes is too much for me," Wang Laoji, who was sweating, scolded, "Hurry up and turn on the air conditioner, how about a sauna?"

Xiaoye glanced cowardly at the boss in the rearview mirror, "The air conditioner is broken, there is no wind."

"..."

The man anxiously unbuttoned the collar of his shirt.

He raised his head 45° unrequitedly, and looked out the window with deep eyes.Against the backdrop of the hazy sky, this man is like Duanmulei, a melancholy prince.

Turning his head, he glanced at the big Huazhu who was squeezed into the back seat with him, and his mood became more and more complicated.

——This pig was bought for him by his former agent.

At the beginning, there was a wave of pet pigs on the Internet, and Pujiezai said he would get one too. Anyway, it is the size of a puppy, and it is usually used for taking pictures and posting on Weibo, and it can also increase the interaction with fans.

Wang Luoji had always trusted his manager, so he said, "All right."

He named the pig Xiangxiang.

Later, the pig swelled up like a balloon, and the pig ate so much that it rushed straight to three hundred catties.It was too late when Wang Luoji found out that it was a genuine domestic pig.

He couldn't accept this cruel fact, why the little baby guinea pig he held in his palm turned into a giant domestic pig that could trample the sofa...

Made of human heart, Wang Luoji and this pig have always had feelings for each other, and the joy of licking the pig is also real.The baby that has been raised for so long is really reluctant to send it to the slaughterhouse.

He kept this pig in his garden all the time, and now he was going to a rural area, where there must be a place to raise pigs, so he simply took it with him.

At this moment, under the high temperature of 37 degrees, there is no air conditioner in the car.A fat man weighing two hundred catties, a strong domestic pig, and a...

Wang Laoji.

He squeezed in the backseat with a pig...

Within half an hour of departure, Xiangxiang had already chewed all three catties of Chinese cabbage, and the lively big-flowered pig was no longer comforted by snacks, and was constantly hugging its father's thorns.

The man couldn't bear it, and even wanted to jump off the car.

Suddenly, his cell phone rang: "The moon is coming out and it's bright woof woof woof woof~~~"

It's Teacher Gong Linna's dolphin sound against the sky.

Xiaoye, with a fragile heart, was so frightened that he swung his hands together, and the steering wheel turned twice like a flying saucer.The entire Changan Benben was shaken, lost control and deviated from the road, and shoveled onto the cement slab by the side of the road unexpectedly.

Actor Wang, who weighed the lightest in the car, turned upside down, and was thrown from his seat in the air, and hit the strong roof of the car with his fragile skull, making a loud "boom".

The cell phone that was ringing was also thrown away, fell off the seat and rolled twice, and disappeared.

Wang Luoji: "..." Is this about to die?

This call is from Party A.

On the other end of the phone, Jiao Jiao was eating bananas, shaking her legs, singing along with the earthy ringtone, waiting patiently for Party B to answer.

However, Party B is too embarrassed here.

Xiaoye slammed on the brakes and turned to see if his boss was still alive, "Brother Wang, are you..."

Before he could say anything, he met his burning eyes, and Wang Laoji rubbed his head and yelled, "I told you not to let you drive properly!! You drive a bumper car, this is it?!"

"I, I, I..." Xiaoye felt aggrieved, and the thick pork belly on her body was also hit with a red mark by the steering wheel, which hurts.

He was concentrating on driving, but the ringtone of his cell phone was scary.

It's really not Xiaoye's fault, even Xiangxiang, who has seen the big world, was frightened by the ringtone and went crazy, howling a heart-piercing pig cry.

For a while, there was a duet of dolphin sounds and pig calls in the carriage, and powerful sound waves came one after another, surging in waves one after another.

Almost shattered Wang Laoji's eardrum.

He covered half of his ears with one hand, squeezed away the wildly shaking pig's head with the other, and picked up the cell phone that fell under the seat in embarrassment.

Seeing that it was an unfamiliar number, he hung up without hesitation, "Fuck, it's another scam call."

The former manager was a bastard grandson. In order to kill Wang Luoji, he left his phone number everywhere. As a result, Wang Luoji received a lot of harassing calls these days, all of which were from various pyramid schemes and fraudulent industries to expand his business.

On the opposite end, Jiao Jiao, who was hung up on the phone, was confused and murmured: "...Did I make a mistake?"

He called Party B again according to the number on the contract.

Wang Laoji's phone rang again: "The moon is coming out, woof woof, woof woof~~~"

Xiangxiang, who was finally soothed, heard the ghostly bell, and let out a wild pig cry again.

Wang Laoji, who was pinching the pig's mouth, was afraid that the other party would keep calling, so he couldn't answer it: "Hello?"

The voice was extremely disturbed.

Jiao Jiao heard the earth-shattering pig cry from the other end of the phone, thought she had made a mistake to call the pig farm in the next village, and immediately apologized and hung up the phone: "I'm sorry, I seem to have made a mistake."

"beep--"

Wang Laoji: "...??" I got hung up on the fuck?

Jiao Jiao, who hung up the phone, glanced at the number again, and checked the number on the paper: "Huh? Obviously the number is correct, what's the matter?"

After Wang Luoji hung up the phone, he immediately changed to a normal ringtone.

Nima, some high-quality songs really can't be used as ringtones.

Just after changing the ringtone, the phone rang again. Wang Laoji saw that the caller ID was still the same number.He pressed the answer button and yelled directly: "You idiot made a mistake again!"

In the next second, he hung up the phone resolutely, "Du—"

Cool!Let you hang up Lao Tzu's phone.

Jiao Jiao: "...Stupid, stupid??"

The boy decided to wait for his uncle to come back and ask if Party B in this contract really existed.

There are scammers everywhere these days, won't our uncle really be cheated by that cheating agent, right?Otherwise, how could even the phone number left by Party B be fake?

With an ominous premonition and the spirit of never admitting defeat, Jiao Jiao dialed Party B's number again.

This time the other party blocked him directly.

Jiao Jiao: "..."

So, should I, Party A, be a father or a son?

The author says:

Let me tell you about Huazhu, it has nothing to do with today's hot search hhh, nor did I get the inspiration from there, because my article has been stored for almost two months, and the copy that was released before has already said , Don't get me wrong!

Today I saw that trending search and I was really shocked. It turns out that there are really celebrities who can raise pigs (?

The inspiration for raising pigs comes from my friend's real experience... He wanted to buy a small fragrant pig in a certain treasure to raise and play, but was deceived and bought a real domestic pig.Later, the pig grew bigger and bigger, so it could only be kept in the small garden at home.

At the end of the story, the pig was frozen to death in winter, he was heartbroken, and struggled for a long time on how to move the corpse...