【Kaiyuan】Shewu Blurred

【It doesn’t matter if you are pretending to be indifferent or nothing happened, no matter how hard you say it, he is still waiting for me to coax him. 】

The leather seat was clenched tightly, making a weak groan.

Wang Yuan silently transferred the struggle in his heart to his fingertips, and then kept his calm voice:

"Wang Junkai, just get used to it."

Not angry, this is the first truth he said to Wang Junkai today.

Those things that Wang Junkai said, are they not to him?

People who have always been inseparable, who told him they liked, who hugged him and kissed him, suddenly left him, what kind of feeling is this?

The night of tossing and turning, the meal choked in the throat.

Unable to concentrate every minute and every second, subconsciously tried to find clues about him.

Why did Wang Junkai tell him this? Don't you think he doesn't know?

That's right, he didn't want to live in pain, he didn't feel worse than death, just like the saying goes, no one can't live without him.

However, the feeling of being stabbed every time in a subtle place, the vague lack and emptiness, is a kind of torture all the time.

Twitching the heart, tugging at the action and breathing, it seems that there is no end to the sentence.

At that time, he even thought that fortunately, Wang Junkai went to Beijing when he was in college, so that he could preview in advance how to endure this kind of pain.

He really had such a blessing at a certain moment.

But then he really got used to it.

Family members helped, friends persuaded, and Han Weiru forced him to get used to it.

Only then did he know that people are really numb to pain.

It's like the little mermaid walked [-] steps on the tip of a knife, and when she took the [-]th step, she forgot that this feeling is actually called pain.

So when Wang Junkai counted these feelings one by one, he interrupted involuntarily, and then said this slightly cruel sentence.

Seeing Wang Junkai's expression that seemed to be stabbed by his words, his heart seemed to be stabbed, but he felt an indescribable sense of satisfaction.

"Honestly, Wang Junkai," he continued, not subdividing whether he was sincere or false when he said this, "It's actually quite ridiculous for you to tell me these things."

Wang Junkai closed his eyes as if to relieve the pain, and then said slowly: "Can't you forgive me?"

"Forgive or not," Wang Yuan smiled, as if he really didn't care, "You didn't do anything wrong."

"What if I say I was wrong?" Wang Junkai said it with some difficulty, he is really not someone who is used to apologizing.

Wang Yuan looked at him, there was some clear light in his eyes, he laughed even harder for some reason: "I don't think you think you are wrong."

He knew Wang Junkai too well. When Wang Junkai said this, he must still be thinking of various reasons to prove that he was not wrong.

It was like this before, when they were angry, although Wang Junkai always bowed his head and begged for mercy or came to coax him first, but after he calmed down, he would talk to him about those great principles until he had to obey.

So sometimes it is difficult to say who will win and who will lose in the countless tug-of-war in those years. Maybe there is really no winner or loser in the relationship, only the entanglement of two people.

This kind of routine has been with him for seven or eight years, and then he almost took the initiative to drill into it.

Seeing Wang Junkai's speechless look for a while, Wang Yuan knew that he had guessed right, and felt a little prickly in his heart, but he also had the pleasure of achieving his goal: "So now, can you get out of the car?"

On the way back to the residence, Wang Yuan kept thinking about the way Wang Junkai opened the car door and left without saying a word. He felt a little uncomfortable, so he took out his phone after thinking about it.

"What's the matter, Wang Xiaoyuan, have you completed the task assigned by the organization?" Tang Yu seemed to have been waiting for the call, and answered it almost as soon as he dialed.

"It's done. I had a cordial meeting with Comrade Bei Jianing." Wang Yuan gritted his teeth on the phone.

"That's good, that's good." Tang Yu didn't seem to realize it.

"What a fart!" Wang Yuan couldn't help but explode, "Brother is just for sale, right? Let me ask you, what's going on with Wang Junkai?"

"Wang Junkai?" Tang Yu didn't care too much about her acting skills, "Why did you mention him all of a sudden?"

Wang Yuan was speechless: "Please, if you want to pretend, pretend to be a little bit. I felt something was wrong at the charity dinner before. How did you two hook up? You still haven't told me honestly. If you don't say anything, I'll go back to the theater right now." Invite Bei Jianing to exchange feelings with me tonight..."

"Hey! Don't!" Tang Yu immediately confessed, "Wang Xiaoyuan, don't blame me for not telling you. To be honest, if you really don't want to see him at all, I won't help him."

"So blame me??"

"That's not what it means..." Tang Yu said patiently, "Whether you disband or fly solo, it's all work, and you shouldn't confuse emotional matters in the first place, just because the relationship between the two is broken. too……"

Wang Yuan took a deep breath, interrupted him and said, "Tang Yu, no wonder Bei Jianing doesn't want to talk to you until now. What are you talking about? Are work and relationship really distinct? What's more, we are That’s why we met, and that’s why we’ve been here together for so many years. Be it colleagues, teammates, friends, brothers, and… In short, these relationships have long been unclear. If he wants to leave, I will leave the work relationship Sort it out, and keep the rest as they are, do you think it's possible?"

Tang Yu didn't expect that this matter could be related to him, and she was a little hit on the pain point: "But you never thought that he might do it for your own good?"

"...You guys," Wang Yuan was silent for a while before opening his mouth, "Do you really think I'm a fool?"

Tang Yu froze for a moment: "What?"

"Sister Wei Ru was very eager to find me at first, but suddenly she was not in a hurry, and she looked confident." Wang Yuan slowly told these things that he had sorted out in his mind countless times, "After he left, the teammates Just left, sister Wei Ru came to look for me right after, I was just about to take the art exam and the college entrance exam, and the signs of insecurity that had been faintly revealed before disappeared... These things happened one after another, what do you think of me? Will you really think that they have no connection? And earlier, Miss Ren told us about the new combination, and the questions you asked me... Nothing in this world is without a reason, isn't it?"

Tang Yu was stunned——Sure enough, Wang Yuan's appearance was too deceptive. Even if he knew him well, he knew in his heart that this boy who looked cute and smiled was actually a very smart and sensitive person, so he would often involuntarily call him He treats it like a fool.

"You guessed this, so why do you still..." Asked halfway but didn't ask, Tang Yu knew that he was really stupid for asking this question.

"Yeah, I guessed it after I calmed down. Wang Junkai has been like this since before. He doesn't say anything. As long as he thinks it's good for me, he will do it without any discussion at all." Wang Yuan smiled lightly, "But, then How? That’s right, we had neither ability nor autonomy at the time, and we would be poor and empty if we left the company. We couldn’t be responsible for ourselves and each other, but no amount of reasons could cover up the fact that he didn’t have that much confidence in me. I feel like I can’t survive the college entrance examination with these things on my back.”

"Tang Yu, in fact, that sentence is still understandable but unacceptable."

"I just can't accept that for so many years, I have been with him for so many years, and he still treats me as a child who needs his protection."

Tang Yu listened silently without saying a word.

He is also a person who has made good claims before, and he still feels that his original choice was right, but is he really so righteous in his heart?If he can still comfort Bei Jianing that a girl must protect her, what about Wang Yuan's self-esteem and pride as a boy?

Right and wrong are just two words, so simple that it is useless at all.

"And you," Wang Yuan added at the end when he didn't speak, "You already knew about these things, right? You've been hiding them all the time, let's see if I meet next time..."

"I was wrong, I was wrong," Tang Yu also rarely admitted, "I can say anything, and there is no misunderstanding in this world. But seriously, are you going to go on like this and never forgive him?"

"I don't know, I..." Wang Yuan leaned back and stretched his legs, but suddenly kicked something, picked it up and was speechless——

Those were the wallet and mobile phone that Wang Junkai had thrown into the car before.

"Huh? What are you?" Tang Yu asked.

"I think I really want to strangle Wang Junkai to death."

The wallet is black, the style is the simplest basic model, there is no obvious brand logo, but the price is expensive at first glance.

Well, it's not that easy to see.

Of course Wang Yuan knew the price was expensive, he bought it.

When they bought it, they didn't have any money at their disposal, which was actually very painful, especially that guy Wang Junkai would deliberately pretend to be calm even if he received the gift, which greatly reduced his sense of accomplishment.

But having said that, the sense of accomplishment Wang Junkai gave him has always been accumulated little by little.

For example, Wang Junkai still uses this wallet after two or three years, and it is well protected.

It's hard to imagine how that person did it. The things that he carries around all day long and needs to be taken out from time to time, actually look the same as new ones.

But he didn't expect that Wang Junkai is still using it until now.

Finally, there were some signs of wear and tear on the black leather surface, not like it was scratched in a pocket or schoolbag, but like marks left by repeated friction with fingers.

Sometimes Wang Yuan really doesn't like his sharpness.

The phone is wearing a case, but it must be the latest model——for an artist, you have to keep up with everything, otherwise how can you satisfy your fans...

Just thinking about it, the phone was unlocked after he accidentally pressed the Home button.

Wang Yuan was stunned for a moment, his fingerprints were stored inside.

It's been almost two years, and this guy hasn't even changed his mobile phone.

Without allowing him to think too much, the phone rang, and it displayed... "Human Alarm Clock No. 1".

? ?

Wang Yuan looked confused, not knowing whether to answer or not.

The phone was disconnected.

After a while, it rang again, "The big powder brush is a bit annoying."

……

Wang Yuan didn't answer, but opened the address book after the call was disconnected.

It's a little breathless when you slide your fingers.

Giving strange names to people in the address book was actually something he liked to play for a while.

Brother Qiang is "not puffy but Strong", sister Ren is "chili is not spicy, no money", brother Ma is "I want to debut"...Wang Junkai's words, sometimes it is "patients with severe obsessive-compulsive disorder need care", Sometimes it's "Mother Wang", sometimes it's "New, Good, Old Man", and when two people quarreled for a while, he directly changed it to "I'm so annoying, don't pick it up".

At that time, Wang Junkai still laughed at his naivety. He argued that he was creative, but because it was really hard to remember, he gave up after playing for a long time.

Now seeing those messy names in Wang Junkai's phone that are not really new, I feel really panicked.

Wang Junkai said just now that he couldn't sleep for many nights, so he had to think about what happened to them bit by bit.

Could it be that at a certain moment, I remembered this incident that was not even a small episode, but the more I thought about it, the more cute it became, so I picked up the phone and changed it?

"What..." Those names are really not very fun, "It doesn't look like learning..."

Are all those vulgar plots true, you just live like me when I'm not here?

Suddenly remembered something, and after a few flips in the address book, I found the only unique name.

Click to open, there are several numbers saved.

At the beginning, I used it when I was holding an old phone, when I switched to 3G, when I switched to 4G, I often did it after I went to Beijing... Also, there is a new number he changed after leaving the company.

The name is saved, "mine".

Not "My Wang Yuan", not "My Roy", not "My Ma Siyuan", and not "My Little Trash".

Just, "mine".

Everything is mine, everything is mine.

The tumbling emotions in my heart are like too many lemons in the water, which is terribly sour.

With so many numbers saved, why don't you call any of them?

When the phone came to mind again, Wang Yuan didn't complain about the name on the caller ID, and picked it up: "Hello."

"Wang Yuaner." Sure enough, it was Wang Junkai on the other end of the phone.

"Your mobile phone and wallet," Wang Yuan wanted to ask how he got back just now, but held back, "I'll send it to you by express."

"Are you sure?" Wang Junkai smiled, "It's not a joke to be taken away."

Wang Yuan rolled his eyes: "Why, are there pornographic photos?"

"Yes," Wang Junkai's voice sounded serious, "and yours."

He said it so seriously that even Wang Yuan couldn't help but began to recall whether he was tricked by this person into taking some unbearable photos when he was "young and ignorant": "Then call someone to pick it up."

"Okay, give me your address."

"...I put it on the front desk of the company..."

"Are you sure you want to put it in someone else's hands?"

"The phone is locked, okay?"

"Let's not talk about whether the lock can be unlocked or not," Wang Junkai said in a calm voice, "Take a look at your wallet."

Wang Yuan opened the wallet in a daze - the photo in it was too eye-catching... What about Shanks, did you just throw him away? ! !

It was the first time he had seen a picture of himself in someone else's wallet.

To be precise, it was a selfie of the two of them, several years ago... Afterwards, they almost never took a picture of two heads put together like this.

In the photo, the two people are still comparing their hands with scissors, their eyes are crooked when they smile, and the sweet atmosphere is almost overflowing from the camera.

Wang Yuan clearly remembered that this was the only photo, because in the next photo he took, he was making fun of Wang Junkai laughing, and the next photo was that they were both playing cool.

Later, when they grew up, they no longer had the calmness and opportunity of "let's take a serious photo together".

After the two exchanged their hearts last year, he actually thought about it. It should be said that he thought about a lot of things, such as taking couple selfies together, going to the movies together, buying a real couple outfit, and cooking together like when they were young. Eat... He thought about a lot of things, even naively thought about long-term things, such as buying a big house together, going on a trip together, etc... It's just that he didn't expect to do it, and he didn't even think about it. The two were torn apart by reality.

sorry?I can't say it, I just feel sad.

If it wasn't for Wang Junkai's own initiative, maybe they would really have the opportunity to do those things.

Now that this photo falls into his eyes, there is a sense of irony of "then there is no later".

Thinking about it makes me even angrier.

"Wang Junkai..." Wang Yuan's voice became cold, "Stop making trouble, I'll give the things to Tang Yu or Bei Jianing, and you can handle the rest yourself."

Of course, in the end Tang Yu became the one who was taken advantage of.

Originally, Wang Yuan thought that the two of them would calm down for a while after this matter ended, but obviously this world is much smaller than he imagined.

The announcement of the New Year's Eve has been set long ago. A certain TV station has a promotional cooperation with their company. It is no surprise that Wang Yuan and Tang Yu will appear at their New Year's Eve party. The publicity work is also going on in full swing, Wang Yuan is spinning like a spinning top, slightly forgetting Wang Junkai.

But he didn't expect to see Wang Junkai at the final rehearsal a few hours before the party.

The knife-like eyes scratched past, Tang Yu trembled in fright, and quickly waved his hands: "I don't know, I really don't know!!"

Wang Yuan didn't say anything, of course he also knew that Tang Yu didn't lie to him. The TV station had mentioned before that they would invite a mysterious guest to help out, but the candidate was never decided, and he didn't pay attention to it later. There is no doubt about Wang Junkai on the stage, and I don't know what his company thinks.

When the music started, Wang Yuan turned around silently and went back to the lounge. He was really not interested in standing there and watching Wang Junkai's performance.

It is probably a common problem for all people to dislike integrity.

After his show ended, Wang Yuan didn't go back to the rest room, he silently found an excuse that he had to go on stage for a while, and mingled with the staff to watch the performance on the stage.

The task of the mysterious guest is to stir up the atmosphere of the scene to the hottest before zero o'clock.

Before Wang Junkai went on stage, all the staff who had nothing important to do surrounded him, and the traffic was blocked. Wang Yuan mixed in the crowd and comforted himself by saying that he couldn’t leave even if he wanted to, so I’ll just stay here and have a look, although it’s nothing. good-looking……

To be honest, he really hasn't seen Wang Junkai's performance for a long time.

But at the moment when the music started and the lights came together, the scene on the stage made him really have an idea that shouldn't have come up.

Wang Junkai was right to choose to leave.

This man deserves the best stage, instead of being dragged around by messy announcements all day long.

This person deserves the most dazzling and cool dance, rather than being dragged as a foil for no reason.

This person's voice should be dedicated to valuable music, not used to advertise businesses.

Wang Junkai has gradually become a professional actor. Wang Junkai is not at a loss as he used to be in variety shows. Wang Junkai is no longer talking about death, and he can handle any tricky interviews... He is already all the appearance of an artist .

But there is still a part of Wang Junkai who must belong to the music stage.

This is something that was once forced to drift away, and now he has regained it in his hands.

Wang Yuan was mixed in the crowd, the light off the stage was very dim, enough to hide almost all of his emotions that were on the surface.

"You two are really..." There was a familiar voice in the ear, Tang Yu didn't know when he came over, seeing the sad and happy expression on his face and the shining stars in his eyes, he couldn't help pulling him out of the crowd When I arrived behind the stage, there was no one there.

"What's the matter..." Wang Yuan didn't have time to calm down his ups and downs, nor did he have time to deal with the reddish eye sockets.

Tang Yu took out his mobile phone and fiddled with it a few times and handed it to him.

On the screen is Wang Junkai who was watching the live screen from the side of the stage just now.

On the live screen, he was playing the piano and singing.

The corners of Wang Junkai's mouth are curved upwards, his eyes are bright, and his mouth moves slightly, which is the mouth shape of the lyrics written by himself.

That expression was indescribable.

There seems to be joy, and there seems to be sadness.

It seems very proud, but also seems very lost.

"I saw it just now and thought it was interesting, so I took a sneak shot. I was hesitant to disturb you..." Tang Yu couldn't see the expression of Wang Yuan who lowered his head, "But I went to find you just now, do you know that you Look at his expression, exactly the same as he looks at you?"

"I told you that he has changed a lot this year, don't you too?"

"Both of you have lost, you have both been hurt, but you have also gained, right? Now you and he are really much stronger than a year ago, aren't you?"

"I once asked you, if two people who were very close at first became estranged because of certain things, can they be restored? You said that nothing is irreversible. If it doesn't work once, it will be done twice."

"So if Wang Junkai saved you twice, shouldn't you also turn back?"

Wang Yuan's heart was in a mess, as if he had received too much information at once and crashed.

But reality didn't give him time to think. He and Tang Yu's director came over with walkie-talkies and urged them to go on stage.

It's almost midnight.

This is the number of New Years that he and Wang Junkai have experienced together, he lost count.

He remembered how shyly they had been bewildered on stage many years ago.

He remembered that Wang Junkai hugged him on stage the year before last.

He remembered that last year he was reviewing at home alone and deliberately did not watch TV.

So what should this year look like?

There is Wang Junkai on the stage, his eyes are bright when looking at him, black and white are distinct.

But there are many people in the audience.

But there are still those long guns and short cannons.

But there are still countless audiences in front of the camera and the screen outside the camera.

A small move can cause a huge uproar.

This is them, even if they only have each other in their hearts, what they see in their eyes is still the whole noisy world.