【Kaiyuan】Shewu Blurred

[It's just that the spring is like this, but I can't see you. 】

It seemed like a real reunion after a long absence.

We have also been separated in the past, but the time is not long, and we have never really broken contact.

The mood is really a bit complicated.

Sitting on the sofa in the dressing room and looking over, Wang Yuan was standing at the door blocked by the door, but in the huge makeup mirror, his thin and straight shoulders and side face that could not be described in words were exposed.

The headlights of the mirror created a halo, which seemed to add a dreamlike special effect to the beautiful figure.

Wang Junkai just sat there blankly, suddenly thinking of the late spring more than three years ago.

At that time, Wang Yuan was retreating in Chongqing to prepare for the high school entrance examination, and he was training in Beijing to prepare for the art examination in the coming year.

At that time, Wang Yuan had just retreated for a long time, and the two of them kept in touch from time to time, such as WeChat and phone calls, but they were both busy, so he didn't particularly think about Wang Yuan.

Occasionally scrolling through Weibo and seeing fans lamenting, he also smiled - they are all quite big boys, and they usually don't have such delicate thoughts, maybe he really is a little insensitive.

Then at noon one day, he practiced dancing for several hours in a row, and was so exhausted that he stretched out on the floor panting.

I closed my eyes for a while, and when I opened my eyes again, the sun just emerged from behind the clouds.

Through the floor-to-ceiling mirror, he saw the clear blue sky and large thick white clouds outside the window.

Really beautiful, such a simple sky.

Suddenly he felt a kind of melancholy that couldn't be resolved in his heart.

It was so heavy that it made his heart sink, and it hurt a little bit.

At that moment, what he remembered was a sentence that Wang Yuan had muttered for a long time while reading a book——

"It's just that the spring is like this, but I can't see you."

At that time, he pursed his lips and shook his head repeatedly - tsk tsk, he didn't understand the world of such temperamental people.

But sometimes it is like this. Some words that have been brushed by your ears will suddenly be remembered at a certain moment or scene, and then you suddenly understand that those emotions that you thought were hypocritical or too detailed will really exist. .

The weather in Beijing has been very good recently, with blue sky and white clouds every day. It will be Lixia in a few days, but the temperature rise seems to have come earlier.

If you are here, will you complain that the weather is too hot and you don't want to eat and want to eat ice cream?

After listening to a few new songs, they were pretty good, so I went to find the guitar score, but I just practiced secretly in my room.

If you were here, would you pretend you didn't know anything and then suddenly hum the song I practiced one day?

The teacher taught a new dance, which is super handsome, but it is very tiring to practice, and it requires high flexibility of the body.

If you were here, would you be so tortured by Lajin again that you would secretly practice the movements in front of the mirror a few more times?

Alas, if you are here, are you lying here like me and saying that we are as tired as dogs?

I sang "Suddenly Miss You" and "How can I sleep without seeing your smile" in my head like a movie, but the clearest picture and sound are——

On a certain afternoon that was not too busy, Wang Yuan was nestled on the sofa in the most comfortable position, holding a book he picked up from nowhere in his hand, muttering, and seeing emotions that he didn't understand at the time .

"It's just that the spring is like this, but I can't see you."

Thinking of Wang Yuan who still cried because he missed him when he was 14 years old, he missed this feeling. His children may understand it earlier than him.

But it doesn't matter, he understands the feeling of liking someone earlier than his children.

The weather was great, I was eating well, sleeping well and training well.

But it's even better if you're there.

Memories leaked from that mirror, reflecting countless emotions, only Wang Yuan's stiff posture reminded Wang Junkai that now is not five years ago, nor three years ago, nor two years ago.

He and Wang Yuan didn't meet again because of the retreat exam, but because he was trying to redeem the feelings he hurt last year.

But he still couldn't help but keep his eyes on the figure in the mirror, and for a moment he felt that it would be fine if he didn't like Wang Yuan, and that he would never see him again, so that he wouldn't have to bear the current joy and anxiety, longing and love. You don't need to resist the urge to hold this person in your arms, and at the same time, you don't want to run away from his gaze.

Before coming here, he had cleared his mind, thinking that even if he couldn't explain the whole story clearly, he still had to explain to Wang Yuan that his original intention was definitely for his own good.

But at the moment when he saw Wang Yuan, all the conceived things were wiped out—he was willing not to refute anything, only to say that he was wrong and he was really wrong. It seemed that as long as Wang Yuan was willing to forgive, there was nothing wrong with it. .

The emotional intelligence of girls is obviously higher. Bei Jianing felt strange when Wang Junkai came to visit the class suddenly, and Wang Yuan's appearance at this time was obviously not accidental. ghost.

Bei Jianing actually knows a lot about these two people, first because "Moss" and Wang Junkai got acquainted, and later because Tang Yu and Wang Yuan also gradually became acquainted, the two had a quarrel last year Although she didn't know the reason, but thinking of the time when she and Tang Yu broke up their childhood sweetheart, she expected that the two of them would not have a good time. This meeting before now was probably specially arranged by Tang Yu for this purpose.

"Everyone go out first, I'll have a chat with the two handsome guys alone." A gentleman has the beauty of an adult, Bei Jianing thought for a while, and motioned to the assistant to pull the makeup artist, costume artist and Wang Yuan's little assistant out, and waited for the door After closing it, he said, "There is still half an hour before the show, and I may have to use it to try on clothes, so I won't accompany you."

Bei Jianing had done enough acting, and while feeling that he was such a good actor, he entered the fitting room inside.

The dressing room, which was crowded with people just now, was now empty, and the two of them were still standing next to each other without moving, as if the little commotion just now had nothing to do with them.

Wang Junkai was apprehensive, but he also knew that time waits for no one, so he stood up and walked towards Wang Yuan: "Wang Yuaner..."

Before coming here, he thought about how Wang Yuan would react.

Punch him?Scold him?Most likely, you should just ignore him, right?

no problem, no problem.He is mentally prepared.

But what he didn't expect was that Wang Yuan turned around when he heard the voice, and smiled at him: "Wang Junkai... Long time no see."

The steps he had just taken stopped abruptly, turning into an awkward posture.

Wang Yuan said, "Wang Junkai", as if he was talking about someone he didn't know very well.

Wang Yuan also said, "Long time no see", like an ordinary greeting.

Wang Yuan smiled, the kind of smile that faces fans and the media, the corners of his mouth are curved, and his eyes are emotionless, not even comparable to the smile he gave Bei Jianing when he entered the door just now.

It was only at this moment that Wang Junkai realized that there may be many routines in life, but Wang Yuan is definitely not one of them for him. All the lines he had thought up before could not be counted. He must admit that such Wang Yuan caught him off guard.

"How are you doing? Are you good?" Wang Yuan put his hands in his pockets, took a step back and leaned against the dressing table, his posture seemed relaxed.

Such a scene made Wang Junkai feel very dazed, as if he was facing a stranger.

Wang Yuan was obviously not angry, at least he didn't show anger, but Wang Yuan was not angry in the past, nor is he like this now.

The smile, posture, and expression were completely unfamiliar to him.

Especially the eyes looking at him, neither a crooked smile nor bright starlight.

"Wang Yuan'er, I came here to tell you..." Wang Junkai struggled a bit, trying to get back to his previous state.

"I listened to your new album," Wang Yuan interrupted him calmly, "it's pretty good."

"..." This is something Wang Junkai never thought about, one day he will have no idea which song Wang Yuan sang.

"Okay, I should go." Wang Yuan didn't wait for him to speak, straightened up and said, "Say to Bei Jianing for me to wish her a successful performance."

Wang Junkai stared at him blankly, turned around and opened the door, and walked out calmly.

Wang Yuan is a very gentle person in his heart, although he will occasionally lose his temper, but he is rarely really angry, but he is also a very stubborn person, if he is really angry, he will often remember it for a long time, and Will deliberately pretend to be indifferent to make it difficult to even apologize-Little Scorpio is not deceiving me.

Now he is facing such Wang Yuan.

The scary thing is that in Wang Yuan's eyes, he is not only wrong, but also looks like an emotional liar.

Wang Junkai stood there without moving for a long while, but Bei Jianing, who couldn't restrain his gossip inside, became anxious, opened the door and poked his head out, and yelled at him in a low voice: "What are you doing here?!"

Only then did he come to his senses, and ran outside.

Bei Jianing shook his head and walked out of the room with a hateful expression on his face. When he walked slowly to the table, his expression gradually became quiet and complicated.

The bouquet of flowers brought by Wang Yuan was placed on the table.

It's her favorite white roses and hyacinths, which probably means Tang Yu.

When talking to himself, it seems to be sighing or complaining: "What did you do long ago..."

After chasing all the way to the parking lot, Wang Junkai saw Wang Yuan who was about to get into the car, and hurried over to stop him: "Wang Yuaner!"

Wang Yuan didn't respond yet, but the assistant moved over from the driver's seat in an instant to stop him.

"Wang Yuaner, shall we talk?" Wang Junkai frowned, ignoring the gesture of the strange boy with his arms outstretched to protect the young, and only said to Wang Yuan, "Just a little while!"

"Sorry," Wang Yuan's expression was still calm, "I have other things to do, and I don't have much time."

The attitude of prevarication was too obvious, and the feeling of being rejected made Wang Junkai very anxious. He pushed away the boy who stood firmly in front of him: "I'm not a fan, why are you stopping me?!"

"Wang Yuan has other plans, so he's leaving now." Xiao Tong was about the same height as Wang Junkai, stopped in front of him again and stared at him, looking at him like a dangerous person.

To be honest, Wang Junkai lived until he was 20 years old, and spent nearly half of his time in the public eye. Apart from quarreling with acquaintances around him, he really never had conflicts with anyone, but he was really anxious at the moment. Gencong, when Wang Yuan and I were sleeping in the same bed, you didn’t know where you were waving... blowing your beard while rolling your sleeves... oh no, it was staring: "Get out of the way!"

Unexpectedly, the little assistant is also a bull-tempered person, speaking quietly but firmly: "You should get out of the way now."

Although there was no one in the parking lot, and there was no sign of being discovered when he sneaked over to visit the class today, but Wang Yuan knew in his heart that as long as he and Wang Junkai appeared in the same scene, there would be an uproar, and the two confronted each other for a while and started pushing and shoving. Shoving, making him look black.

"Little boy." He had no choice but to get down from the back seat and called out.

Tong Weijun turned his head, saw Wang Yuan's eyes and suddenly realized that his actions were really inappropriate, so he had to put down his hands, and Wang Junkai immediately bypassed him and walked towards Wang Yuan.

"Wang Yuaner, I really have something very important to say." Wang Junkai didn't get too close, he was actually a little afraid of Wang Yuan's cold eyes now.

"I have other things to do today, let's do it another day." Wang Yuan was still the same, expressionless, as if he didn't resist, but he didn't give him any hope.

"When is the next day?" Wang Junkai really hoped that he would be angry, get very angry, and ignore him with an unhappy face like in the past, instead of being as nonchalant as he is now and rejecting him thousands of miles away "Wang Yuaner, I know you are angry, but..."

"I'm not angry, didn't you ask Tang Yu to call me? I said I wasn't angry at that time." Wang Yuan interrupted him, "I really have other things, I can't talk about it anymore, sorry."

"Then it's okay to talk on the road. I'll tell you in your car, right?"

"Why did you take my car?" Wang Yuan was already very tired after holding on for a long time, and he couldn't stand his brain circuit, "Wang Junkai, we shouldn't be together now, we shouldn't meet today at all..."

Seeing Wang Yuan's tired face, Wang Junkai couldn't bear it, but he knew that it was not easy for two people to meet once, and it was not sure whether there would be a next time if they didn't seize the opportunity, so he still clenched his mouth and said, "Just treat me like I didn't." Can't you hitchhike?"

"No car? Did you come here on foot?" Wang Yuan felt that he was being unreasonable.

Wang Junkai took out the car keys from his pocket and threw them into the sewer next to him: "I accidentally lost the car keys."

Wang Yuan pretended to be calm while the boy was stunned. It was the first time he saw such an unreasonable Wang Junkai: "You are really careless, call someone to pick it up."

"The phone is broken." Wang Junkai took out the phone and was about to throw it to the ground, Wang Yuan couldn't hold back and took a step forward to hold him: "Wang Junkai, are you crazy??"

"What else? Do you want me to take a taxi back?" Wang Junkai also felt that he was a little crazy, but this was the first time he saw Wang Yuan in a year. I can't help but feel that the retreat of the high school entrance examination and the retreat of the college entrance examination are nothing compared to a complete separation.

Even if he can pretend that nothing happened in front of others, even if he can continue to shine brightly in front of the stage and in front of the camera, even if he can face Tang Yu's questioning plausibly, but those people will suddenly come to him in the middle of the night, in the afternoon or in the morning, and even anytime, anywhere The pain in his chest was proof that he could not regret it.

He didn't regret protecting Wang Yuan, he regretted not being able to find a better way to save both of them from suffering.

So here he is now, banking on the adage "it's never too late to start".

So he held all his wallet and mobile phone, and asked Wang Yuan: "Tell me, what do you want from me?"

"..." Wang Yuan looked at him as if he was looking at a stranger.Tang Yu is right, Wang Junkai has changed.

Wang Junkai used to be used to holding back no matter how angry or excited he was, sometimes even he couldn't stand it and had to ask again and again, but now Wang Junkai is acting like crazy like this, as if it is a big deal not to be able to talk to him If you can't bear the pain, you must release it.

is it possible?The person who decided to leave last year is now trying every means to get close to him?

The two were in a stalemate, one stared and felt that he was going to eat someone in the next second, the other had a cold face and the temperature dropped to below zero.

After an unknown amount of time, a light from a headlight broke the situation, and the three of them were stunned for a moment. The boy said "Let's go" and ran to the driver's seat, but Wang Junkai took everything in his hand before Wang Yuan had time to react. Throw it in the car.

Wang Yuan was startled again: this person is simply unreasonable.

Seeing that the car turned a corner and was about to come in this direction, Wang Junkai still remained unmoved, Wang Yuan sighed from the bottom of his heart, and said softly, "Get in the car."

It's the end of November, and Beijing is very cold.

The little boy standing by the side of the road rubbing his hands felt like a little cabbage whose leaves were turning yellow from the cold.

The two people in the car were blowing warm air, but their expressions were not much better than those of the little assistant outside the car.

"Don't you have something to say? Say it." Wang Yuan opened his mouth, but his face was facing out the window.

Wang Junkai looked at him, but could only see a small part of his profile.

He sighed inwardly, then slowly opened his mouth and said:

"In the beginning I couldn't fall asleep. I was in a daze for a night and woke up again within a few minutes. Later, when I couldn't sleep, I started to recall our previous things from the beginning. It was really long. At first, I had to think It only worked on the day you left, and then gradually shortened, until now, what you repeat every day is the way you said hello when you first saw me."

"Every time I eat, I will subconsciously pick up the things you don't like. Then one day I found out that everything on the table is not something you like. I asked the assistant what was going on. Isn't it your favorite food?"

"The company's nutritionist listed a lot of things that I should not eat more, some of which I love to eat, and it is very hard to endure, I just thought, you should not eat more of these things, we endured together, and then it seemed It's not that hard anymore."

"On the day of your college entrance examination, I was so nervous that I couldn't do anything. The program was stopped halfway through the program. The boss saw that I was in a bad state and gave me a vacation. But I seemed to be more anxious when I was idle at home. Later, I simply took two sets of college entrance examinations. The strange thing is that I don’t know how to do most of them, but my heart suddenly calms down.”

"Sometimes I call people we both know on purpose and listen to them carefully avoiding your name on the other end of the line. They don't know but I can sense it. I do it on purpose, because every time I hear They avoid it, as if they really heard your name once, so many times, it's like counting how good we are."

……

Wang Junkai did not explain what happened last year, nor did he apologize. When he saw Wang Yuan's indifferent side face, he knew that it was useless, and those sophistry and disputes were not what he really wanted to say.

What he really wanted to talk about was actually those little things.

Those thoughts and struggles throughout his year.

Those moments where he thought countless times that it would be better if Wang Yuan was there.

Whether standing on stage or being in the camera.

It doesn't matter if you train hard, or take a relaxing vacation occasionally.

It doesn't matter if you are depressed or you are in a rare good mood.

No matter what he is doing, no matter where he is, there are always so many intentional or unintentional moments, and the phrase "it's just like spring, but I can't see you" floats in his heart.

He babbled a little bit, as if he would never finish.

He stared closely at Wang Yuan's profile, trying to find signs of a change of heart.

But Wang Yuan didn't, Wang Yuan turned his head after listening for a while, his expression was still calm.

"Wang Junkai," Wang Yuan said, "you just need to get used to it."