ninety-nine twelve

Later, Zhang Tianle kept talking to me, as if he had been holding back for a long time without opening his mouth, and he talked endlessly until midnight.He seemed to want to tell me all his mental journey overnight, as if it would be too late at dawn, and he even turned back to the time when he first came to school in September, from the re-encounter to the present, and brought him I have said everything I have said, I have not said, and I still remember all the thoughts, without any details, as if I am afraid that I will say something wrong or miss something, but the logic is upside down.

In fact, my mood is still a bit complicated. Although it is not very accurate to say this, in just one day, things did suddenly develop in a good direction, but it still feels a bit strange, just like I have a crush on him after all the hard work , said that he didn’t want to do anything, but secretly waited for this person to give me some response. Now that the dark road is full of light, there is no damage to his head hitting the south wall, but it is a matter of dignity. I've never had the kind of dream where I can't figure out how much I weigh and seem to be deliberate.

When I thought about it, I couldn't help defending myself, so I said to him: "I take back what I said last night. I really wasn't waiting for you. Where can I go? I don't fucking Are you here?"

Zhang Tianle was stunned by what I said. I buried most of my face in the pillow and squinted one eye to look at him. My heart was beating a bit. Seeing that he didn't reply for a long time, I thought that I didn't say what I said properly, and the meaning was off. In fact, I want to say that you don't have to be afraid of being too late, I have always been here, and I have always liked you...

"So listen to me and tell you, I must have had a crush on you back then, but you can't expect me to wake up right away—oh, this is love—right? I also have to Slowly develop, so that time..."

I was so sleepy but he laughed at me again, not because I was angry, but because I felt irritable. I guess Zhang Tianle didn't understand what I said, or he didn't listen at all. Now he just wants to talk, with love words and nonsense, to come Tell him what he has been slow to realize, love.

Hey love.

要不是我此刻强打着精神才能勉强不睡着，我简直想揍张天乐一顿，啥玩意啊爱情不爱情的……

People seem to have hallucinations when they are extremely sleepy, and they can’t tell whether they are sleeping or waking up. Zhang Tianle’s opening and closing mouth turned into a buzzing noise. I raised my heavy eyelids to see that he was still Talking about it happily, I can close my eyes and sleep for more than ten seconds. From time to time, I pretend to hum in response, indicating that I have not fallen asleep. Occasionally, if I wake up for a second or two, I can still answer a few words indiscriminately.

In the end, I was lying on the bed, so sleepy that I couldn't even open my eyelids, but Zhang Tianle seemed to be beaten with chicken blood. I squinted and looked at him, and sighed in my heart, how many things this person has experienced in a day, compared to me It's a lot, but at this point, I'm sleepy, why isn't he drowsy at all... I was thinking wildly, and while groping, I reached out and covered Zhang Tianle's mouth. He was quiet for a second, and then put I took a bite out of the palm of my hand and asked knowingly, "Are you sleepy?"

Almost half asleep, I snorted.

Zhang Tianle asked again: "Then are you going to sleep?"

This time I didn’t say a word, it’s not that I didn’t want to say anything, it’s that I fell asleep when I didn’t pay attention for a second or so. Zhang Tianle pushed me, and I woke up again for a moment. He said worriedly: “Then I love you. You."

I still didn't answer, but I answered him with my thoughts on the edge of sleep, and I said, what about you.

"Hey," Zhang Tianle pushed me harder, "I said I love you."

"What are you talking about?"

"I mean it, I love you."

"You love me since you came up?"

"I'm serious." Zhang Tianle turned sideways to face me, I had already closed my eyes completely regardless, and I could only hear from his voice that he seemed a little unhappy.

"Okay, okay, approved."

"You obviously don't believe it."

"How can you believe it?" I frowned and narrowed my eyes, "You hated me the day before, but you love me today. Girls don't take you so fickle."

"What nonsense, I hate you to death."

"Okay, okay, don't hate me, love me."

"Be sincere, listen to me, believe me, I love you."

"What's the use of you talking so much, I will feel it later, and I will believe you when I feel it. If you love me now, stop talking. Please go to sleep, Brother Tianle." I said in one breath After finishing, he said that he was refreshed, and simply turned his head, covering his face in the pillow.

Zhang Tianle was deflated, and finally stopped making a sound, arched his body and lay down into the bed, and fished my head out of the pillow so that I could breathe smoothly.He found a comfortable position and stopped moving. Seeing that he was still, I stretched out my arms and put them across his body.

"Don't be in a hurry to finish talking at once, we will have a long time to come."

The consequence of Zhang Tianle unilaterally confiding in me but not letting me sleep was that I was punished by the teacher to stand in place for a class the next morning because I dozed off. As an excellent human shield, I happened to block another sleepy person behind strict.

Zhang Tianle laughed muffledly from behind. I put my hands behind my back and gave him a middle finger, and he grabbed my middle finger and held it in his hand. He didn't hold it very firmly, and I didn't pull my finger out. This weird posture lasted most of the class.

Since it was punished to stand, he would not be able to listen to the lectures well, but his fugue had traveled a long way.

I really never thought that Zhang Tianle would cry.

As for men, how can you say that you cry when you cry, and the lacrimal glands are indeed not that developed.Furthermore, for boys of this age, even if they encounter something worthy of crying, they have to suppress their tears by relying on their youthful self-esteem. Being strong and not crying are absolutely linked.

So and especially, for a boy like Zhang Tianle who is better at dealing with negative emotions in an angry way, his tears are more precious to me.

To use a very common saying, when he sheds tears, my mother's heart will be broken, even if he wants the stars and the moon, I want to pick them off for him.

I used to feel that I was sad. In fact, whether I was sad or not should not be judged by tears, but Zhang Tianle's tears had a great impact on me, making me feel that my so-called sadness was not worth mentioning at all.

I'm such a layman, I don't want to see him cry, I'll eat this.

He said he loved me last night, and I really believed it.

He spoke easily and in a casual tone, and repeated several times did not make him appear more serious. On the contrary, he seemed to be proficient because he had spoken a lot in the past. No one sounded serious and distracted, but he managed to get it. Like me, how can I ask for so much.

If I were miserable enough, the above statement would be true, but it is really not the case.

I really believe it.

I don't know what this bastard is worried about. I stifle the endless talk, and I have to struggle again to end it with "I love you".He is really anxious, if he is anxious, he will mess up, and if he messes up, he will not be able to use any tricks. If he uses the method of picking up girls to deal with me, I can still deal with him for a while, but he loves, loves, loves me when he opens his mouth and shuts his mouth. , Killed with one move.

I thought I shouldn't be so vulgar, how many times he tried to say that he liked me, but in the end he made a qualitative leap, I just surrender to tears, it's too much to surrender to "I love you".

But I really do believe it.

Well, since it's vulgar, it's vulgar to the end, and I'm going to eat it too. How can I get tired of listening to Zhang Tianle's love stories.

I believe that because he is clumsy, he expresses his favor as a flattery, I believe that because he cares, he loses his temper to cover up his mind, and I even believe that because he is proficient, he speaks of love as lightly as a joke.

I always hear people talk about youthful spirit, youthful spirit, what exactly is youthful spirit?

He didn't use any tricks, didn't use any tricks, he didn't bother to follow me step by step, shed tears for fear that he wouldn't be able to make it in time, he said straight to the point that he loved me, and showed me his sincerity by saving face, I think that's what youthful spirit is like.In fact, it is still too abstract, I can't say it, but I think it is probably proud, humble, straightforward, brave, upright, and stupid. Of course, this is not the point in the end.

Zhang Tianle thought that there must be a lot more things that Zhang Tianle confided in me to make me believe, I can talk to him bit by bit slowly, really, we have a long way to go.

Zhang Tianle has indeed entered the preliminary stage very steadily. This time the schedule falls in mid-April. After the information of the players in the same group was announced, he had a two-hour video call with his coach. I listened in on the whole process , I couldn’t understand anything, Zhang Tianle was listening to the guidance and modifying the training plan, I glanced at it from time to time, and made a bunch of marks with red pen on the entire timeline, which made my head dizzy.

Although I couldn't understand, the two of them didn't smile much from the beginning to the end, but I felt that they were all very happy. Sure enough, after Zhang Tianle hung up the call, he turned around and stretched comfortably, yes I said, "It's too risky this time."

"How to say?"

"Sidao is from Iran. He is strong. Although he can fight hard, the coach said that I should just be safe this time. If I follow him closely, the two sides will put a certain amount of pressure on each other and keep the first and second place in the group. Then we will work together. It’s definitely no problem to advance to the next stage. The point is, this time is really too risky. The other six people in my group are not threatened, but you know, the players in the same group can’t do without threats. It’s too easy to relax. Leading and relaxing It will only lower the level of the whole group. Even if you get the first promotion in the group, it will be the worst if you can't improve your personal performance. Who knows which fringe track will be assigned to the next competition, so this group is really too risky. Fortunately, there is this Iranian, he said four things to me and five times, and threatened each other one-on-one. After running well, we will advance together, which is not bad.”

Zhang Tianle was so happy that he almost applauded himself. I sat down opposite him and joked, "Is he leading you away? Or are you leading him away?"

"The coach said let him lead me, but who knows, maybe I lead him on the spot?"

"So you're less stressed this time?"

"It can't be said that the pressure is low. Although according to this analysis, it is quite stable, but you can't relax for a moment." Zhang Tianle said as he stretched one leg on the armrest of the sofa, and took out a bag from under the coffee table. When the spicy strips came, they were about to be unpacked quietly.

"Ai ai ai," I intercepted his movement, "you dare to eat, you can't run 11 seconds in the preliminary race."

"So ruthless? If you really don't run under 11 seconds, it's yours and mine?"

I took the Latiao out of his hand and put it back on the coffee table, "It's Latiao!"

Zhang Tianle didn't bother me with a bag of spicy sticks. He tilted his head, leaned on the sofa, and let out a long sigh in a comfortable mood.

What Zhang Tianle said is actually correct, life cannot be relaxed for a moment.Entering April, it means that his college entrance examination is about to start. The DSE in Hong Kong has a long line and the subjects are scattered. In my opinion, it is really a grinding process. Although the brain can often be rested, once the exam starts, the more difficult it will be. In the future, the easier it is for people to get tired, it is better to finish the exam in one breath and get things done early.

Zhang Tianle took a two-week long vacation to return to Hong Kong in early April. His condition seemed to be okay. After finishing the first biology test, he said it was quite easy. Next, he took Chinese and general studies every two days, and an English test every other day. , and then take a math test every other day, and the last remaining chemistry test has to be taken every other week.

I didn't have much contact with him in those few days. I didn't want to disturb his exam, and he didn't often take the initiative to find me, but fortunately, he never lost contact with him like that time before. He sent messages every time before and after the exam. The news came to report, very good.

I recalled a time not long ago when the math teacher came down from the podium to read Zhang Tianle’s textbooks in Hong Kong, and gave him a guarantee that it would be no problem to review his math with us. Thumb, what I thought was that Teacher Haikou really dared to boast.

I'm not sure what kind of grades can be classified as poor students. It's like labeling. Many people are most afraid of this since childhood. Grades determine a person's personality. University entrance exams are based on scores, and competitions are based on rankings. Who cares? You work hard or you get lucky.But I want to be partial to him. Although Zhang Tianle and I seem to have done nothing serious during this period of time, the self-discipline of athletes should not be underestimated.He has a sense of propriety, even if he just came over to study, but it is not entirely for the sake of appearance, especially in the past month, he has obviously become more serious in class, he is not so sleepy, and he also writes homework by himself. I saw it on his desk several times general information.

Zhang Tianle is different from most of the sports students in our school. Because of being specially recruited, there are many students who do not pay much attention to cultural courses. In the eyes of these people, cultural students have become "scholars who are useless". Zhang Tianle may be better than them, or maybe not as good as them, but he clearly knows what he must be at least.Running is his specialty, not an excuse for him not to study, I know the importance of interest, Zhang Tianle is just not interested in reading, so that reading can't be his specialty, it doesn't mean he hates to be a student, but Many people do not understand this truth.

When you were in elementary school, adults liked to ask which junior high school you wanted to go to, when you were in junior high school, adults liked to ask which high school you wanted to go to, and when you were in high school, adults liked to ask which university you wanted to go to.These adults include parents, parents' colleagues and friends, relatives, teachers, and almost everything.

What confuses me is whether the logical order of these questions is wrong.Take the college entrance examination as an example, those very smart students are selected one out of ten thousand, and the good universities across the country are vying to give them guaranteed admission. As for the rest, ordinary people like me have no right to choose.I can only work hard, get a score as high as possible, and then let the school choose me, but it is not my turn to choose the school.

The countdown to the college entrance examination on the blackboard is decreasing day by day, and the way the teacher puts pressure on us is also gaudy.The most common thing is to let each of us stand up and report our ideal university to the whole class loudly, to cheer for ourselves. Every time it is my turn, I just follow the trend and say that a goal is taken by most people in the class. It is a university that is not innovative but safe, and people can’t find any faults, but what I really want to say is "my ideal university is the best university in the range of scores I can get", because this is the reality , and then I spend an ordinary four years reading it, and then, maybe I can have some other choices and live my own life.

So I have always envied Zhang Tianle.

For those of us sitting in the classroom, ideals seem to be very specific. What kind of university, or even what kind of major, as a goal, has been answered, discussed, shared and shared over and over again, but I always feel that Zhang Tianle The ideal is more like an ideal.

In the same step-by-step and routine, he didn't brag or declare his ideals everywhere. I know that he may also have plans and pressure from his family, but he didn't say anything. He gritted his teeth and tried his best. way.

The difference is that if we fail, we will change our ideals, but if Zhang Tianle fails, he can still maintain his love for his ideals.

I don't know if I re-watch Zhang Tianle at this stage in a few years and think he is stupid, but now I think he is cool, cooler than most of our age, I want to always envy Zhang Tianle like this , I hope he will always be so cool and enthusiastic, and live his life well.

There are many classmates who have made an appointment to take the same university, but Zhang Tianle and I have never talked about this topic. We didn't before, and now we have a relationship, and we don't have any.Whether it is going to university or becoming an athlete, he always wants to go back to Hong Kong. First of all, the education system I received is different from his. He went back to take his exam, and I took mine here. It's all something later, at this moment, it's as far away as if it will never come.

It's still far in the future, isn't it? I don't need to think too much, and I can't think too much. I still have a lot of time and space to grow up, and so does he.

The author has something to say: keep the clouds open and see the moon