Totem

In spring, when Wang Maoyun went to the New York Stock Exchange to ring the bell, Cao Mingzi sent her a two-word WeChat message, "Congratulations".She replied with two words, "Thank you".During those days, this was the main form and content of their communication.What good thing happened to you, I know from where, and I will tell you that I am very happy; of course I know other things, I just can't tell.I don't want to say either.I think I can only relate to your happiness, if I relate to your unhappiness, I cross the line, don't I?

Wang Maoyun thought so.When she found out that Cao Mingzi thought the same way, her feelings became complicated again.

The amazing thing is that from the reunion until the golden autumn of October 2013, for almost a year, the two of them did not see each other again.busy, of course.Or there is something strange "in the way".At the beginning, Wang Maoyun intentionally avoided places where Cao Mingzi might be present, but later found that no matter whether she wanted to or not, she couldn't meet them, because they were essentially two companies with little overlap.After the successful listing, the entire company was filled with an atmosphere of burnout after intoxicated excitement.Everything is fine, there is no need to worry about everything, everyone has made a fortune, everyone is no longer the same as before, and some people even started to go out and brag.The bragging content includes how awesome our company is and how awesome our team is.From time to time, the bragging people mentioned the role of Wang Maoyun in the several financings before the listing, and the bragging people immediately said, yes, Mr. Wang is awesome!

After hearing this, it didn't take long for people to catch Wang Maoyun in private—especially when she was going out with someone else—and asked her if she ever thought about becoming famous and doing it herself.Wang Maoyun was held in one hand by a woman, and held a wine glass in the other, half drunk.

"Well—if I say I haven't thought about it, no one will believe it. There are so many people who come to tell me this. Do you have any new explanations?" She asked.This is true.So the man in suits and leather shoes with rough facial features said, my rhetoric is very simple. Be your own boss, be your own founder, and get better and better until no one can limit yourself.

Wang Maoyun deliberately made things difficult and said, "I can do it now."

"You can now say something 'you want', you can't say something 'you don't'. Being able to say no is the ultimate victory."

After the man left, she continued to date and drink with the women around her.The same mature and elegant woman asked her, "Want to go?"

"Think about it," she said.

"Everyone wants to break free," the woman next to her said while leaning close to her ear, "but bondage is like clothes, you have to wear it one by one. People don't have many choices. Some people try to make good choices, while others Try to widen the range of options. You are so good, you can do anything. Take this time to choose as much as you want."

After finishing speaking, the woman kissed her ear lightly, and then rubbed her cheek like a kitten.

She nodded and smiled.Turn your head to enjoy the rubbing of ears and temples.

Later, that woman became her last girlfriend, and the person who said this became her business partner.Thinking about it now, being able to refuse is indeed a victory, and bondage is indeed like clothes, but sometimes, for something, people will not only refuse, but also put the clothes back on.

She has walked a long way in this dress, and the journey has been full of dust. Now she is in rags, making people think that this is not clothes, but her skin, a part of her.

The plane was approaching, and it seemed that a little of the edge of the North American continent could already be seen.She propped herself up and put her fever-reduced forehead on the porthole glass.Hot forehead and cold hands, only Cao Mingzi did this before, she only showed her fragility, doubts and uncertainties in front of Cao Mingzi.

Did Cao Mingzi ever feel sorry for her?Have it?There's none?

It's not important, what's important is that this time, she doesn't want Cao Mingzi to pity her.It's not that I don't want it, nor that I'm afraid of breaking my heart—it's already broken—I'm just afraid that you will be unhappy.

look.Me, me.

At a dinner party at the end of 2013, she finally met Cao Mingzi again.At that time, she changed jobs, started her own business, moved in with her new girlfriend, started living together, changed cars and houses, and started to build her new life.Cao Mingzi wore a dark purple evening gown, with long hair pulled up high above his head, elegant and dignified, not too obtrusive, not unknown, and not too exposed, just right, Wang Maoyun was actually touched when he saw it.The two discovered each other at the beginning, but due to their respective tasks, they didn't sit down in an unobtrusive corner until the end of the dinner.

"It's been a year." Cao Mingzi said, "How is it?"

"It's pretty good. I guess you all know it." Wang Qianyun handed the champagne glass in his hand to Cao Mingzi, and crossed his legs - it seemed easier, but the boots seemed empty, and he was actually thinner.

"I only know that you have changed jobs and are no longer single. These are all objective facts." After saying this, Cao Mingzi laughed, and Wang Maoyun laughed when he heard this. It is not common and it is not a smile.An adult's laughter expresses too many things, it is not as pure as crying.

"Yes, they are all objective facts. The objective facts are relatively solid. What about you, how are you?" Wang Maoyun slightly turned his head and looked at Cao Mingzi, "I heard that Lao Wu recently expanded his team."

"Yeah, he expanded the team, so strictly speaking, I didn't put my heart and soul into execution. I have to do other things, you know, what you have done." Cao Mingzi sipped champagne while using his eyes smiled at her.

"I said, it's no wonder I haven't met you for a whole year. At first I heard that Lao Wu came out and you took care of the house. Now you two don't have to take care of the house?"

"I don't need it, he has to watch, he wants to watch. I can't do anything if I'm tired of him. Besides, I'm not the only one who is too busy to see me, and you are too. It can't all be depended on me."

Hearing these words, Wang Maoyun recalled the past, felt a little pity, lowered his head and smiled: "Yes. It's also my fault." Then he changed the subject and said, "But I haven't seen you for so long, and you are still so good-looking, and you are getting more and more beautiful—" —" She wanted to say, "No wonder old Wu" is so, but she stabbed herself before she could say anything, so she changed her words: "I'm afraid other women are jealous of you."

"You're just boasting." Cao Mingzi said, leaning back in the chair, "I'm definitely not as sexy as her. People can show their backs, but I don't have such a beautiful back."

When Cao Mingzi said this, he didn't look at anyone else present, but looked directly into Wang Maoyun's eyes.Of course Wang Maoyun knew that Cao Mingzi was referring to his current girlfriend.

She smiled, and did lift the corners of her mouth this time.Seeing this, Cao Mingzi also smiled.

"I think she is very nice." Cao Mingzi said.Wang Maoyun didn't make a sound, just nodded.

After a long silence, Wang Maoyun said, "What about you?"

No matter how many times she thought about it, whether she regretted it or not, she couldn't stop asking this question at that moment, and she couldn't control her heart.

Cao Mingzi smiled wearily, "I'm fine."

Wang Maoyun nodded.

Cao Mingzi said, "We will all be fine."

Life is a process of constantly revising one's own understanding.Things that are considered silly by teenagers may be considered necessary in their twenties; things that are not acceptable in their twenties may be felt as a last resort in their thirties.The same is true for people.Wang Maoyun's perception of Wu Shi was purely a very capable entrepreneur at first, but his views gradually became complicated. For example, he admired his ability and tenacity, and always complained that he was Cao Mingzi's husband— —Hate, but also have to admit that people have a good vision, and there is a bit of unreasonable resentment for seizing love.Later, she found that Wu Shi, like herself, was obsessed with certain people and things to the point of being emotional, and he was not hard-hearted.A person like me, who is hated by me, may also hate me.Later, she realized that there was still a difference between herself and Wu Shi, because Wu Shi's persistence finally gave way to his reality, but she did not.

Some people are born willing to correct themselves until they are perfect, some people are not, and some people are extremely strong. You will find that they have indeed corrected themselves, but the purpose of the front and back has always been the same. The core purpose of their life is not Change, always on the path they want to go.In this regard, Wang Maoyun felt that he was not as good as Wu Shi, and even less so than Cao Mingzi.

The plane was descending slowly, and Wang Maoyun thought, if he told Cao Mingzi this point of view, Cao Mingzi would definitely say, no, don't think that way, you are always walking on the road to your core purpose.

The purpose of loving others.

It's actually very simple for Wang Maoyun to be with his new girlfriend.Both of them are in their early thirties, successful in their careers, and don't want anything from each other, except tacit companionship.Can walk for a while.Although later I started thinking about forever as I walked.Because they have matured too much and are used to busy work, it is precious to accompany each other during their busy schedules. There are no more quarrels and less expectations.If there is a little wonderful spark, I feel very good, and I don’t care about gifts or not, dates or not, just have breakfast together is very good.Wang Maoyun couldn't help but think, such a peaceful love life is also very good, as long as the intense years have passed. "Falling in love with the best / Is an exercise in loving someone else."

She went to the alumni association that year, bringing her new girlfriend along.Cao Mingzi said that it might not be possible.The alumni stopped talking about the past when they saw this.Not long after, Cao Mingzi came.From a distance, she and her new girlfriend went to Cao Mingzi, and she keenly read a trace of loneliness in Cao Mingzi's polite and warm smile.

That was April 2008.

It is now June 2014.

Time flies by, and our faces are full of wind and frost.

She knew she couldn't forget, and she didn't intend to forget.Anyway, Cao Mingzi was married, so he couldn't do anything else.She restrained herself, stopped herself, even though she thought of Cao Mingzi, the look in her eyes would still feel pity—she should be happy, shouldn't she?But she can't.

One day in May, she heard such a passage from the gossip in the tea room that she overheard: Mr. Wang is so kind.Mr. Wang's girlfriend is also very nice.That is.Before that, she was with that so-and-so, Wu Shi's wife, Cao Mingzi?Yes, you just know.Alas, this Cao Mingzi really has no vision.Don't worry, Wu Shi is also quite capable.You can, you can, you can marry such a good-looking and powerful business partner, and you still have to cheat.

One day in May, Wang Maoyun was still working overtime at eight o'clock in the evening, when Cao Mingzi suddenly called.

"Where are you?" Cao Mingzi's voice was not as calm and gentle as before.

"I'm at the company. What's the matter?"

"...can you come out for a drink with me?"

Wang Maoyun walked away as if he had heard a spell.

Cao Mingzi talked about everything that day, except for things related to herself.Talk about other people's bad things, celebrity love affairs, school jokes, everything, accompanied by unrestrained drinking until drunk.Wang Maoyun drank with her for a long time, and they both drank the same amount. She was still not drunk at all, but felt that the whiskey she drank today was bitter and sweet.

Cao Mingzi was drunk, and she helped her to live with Liz.Speaking of which, there have been quite a few women who have come to Liz with her over the years, but this is the only one she wants her to come, but has never been, until today——at the front desk, she didn't want her to come, or herself I'll be leaving in a while.As if she and Cao Mingzi should always be in a familiar home, not in a strange hotel room.

But the "home" of the two has long since ceased to exist.There is no home.

She will always remember Cao Mingzi's face when he woke up at three o'clock in the morning that day.As soon as she turned around, Wang Maoyun, who had been in a light sleep and was always alert, also woke up.

"...?"

"you're awake?"

"Um……"

It seems that time has not passed.

"Does it hurt?"

"It's not uncomfortable." Cao Mingzi closed his eyes, as if falling asleep again.Wang Maoyun reached out to cover her with a quilt, but Cao Mingzi gently took Wang Maoyun's hand.The body is motionless, and the smile is on the face.Seeing this, Wang Maoyun also smiled.

"When did I start and lose you?"

forgotten.

Wang Maoyun knew—but not from Cao Mingzi—that Wu Shi cheated on his former childhood sweetheart.This seems to be a kind of repayment, a kind of return, and it seems that the marriage with Cao Mingzi is the wrong way.So Wang Maoyun felt that if Cao Mingzi chose to take revenge on Wu Shi in this way, it would be right, even reciprocal, and the so-called equality of marriage would be achieved.

In fact, love can be interpreted in many ways. Going around, trying to rationalize every step is very simple, just say that it is love.Because of love we meet, because of love we part, because of love we meet again, because of love we say goodbye.

It's okay if love is just an excuse.It's a pity that sometimes it's not an excuse, it's the real reason, and it's all true.