Yesterday is not today

19

The wind blew in through the window, raising the gauzy curtains, and his bedroom had never been so hot.

He is indulging in false pleasure, pleasure is real, love is false.

Even though he knew, even though he reminded himself countless times.

He was still obscenely stuck in it.

Soon, he could no longer think, the familiar pleasure and the unfamiliar pain that made him cry were pinching his heart.

Suffering.

In self-torture, in sinking, the day will dawn.

Everything becomes weird and ordinary, ordinary and bizarre.

They are like a pair of real lovers, like a pair of ordinary lovers.

Every morning, they had breakfast together. Yan Chengli went downstairs to buy breakfast. Sometimes it was soy milk fritters, sometimes steamed bun porridge. They always ate very clean.

After breakfast, they kissed goodbye, he went to the company to deal with matters, and Ajiu went back to the room and fell asleep.

At noon, Yan Chengli will definitely rush back to have dinner with him. It will take about 40 minutes to drive from the city center to the south of the city, but he can go home on time at twelve o'clock every day, and return to the small two-bedroom apartment on the top floor. small apartment.

They have lunch together, and in the afternoon, they do the usual stuff.

Watching TV shows together, sometimes going to the supermarket, sometimes doing nothing but lying on the sofa, each in a daze, sometimes inexplicably starting to make out, and falling asleep when tired.

In the evening, Ajiu would go to the bar to sing, Yan Chengli sent him to the bar, and waited for him at the bar. When it was late at night, they went home together and fell asleep in each other's arms.

Every day is like this, every day is so ordinary, peaceful and... happy.

At least Yan Chengli thinks so, this is what he agreed with Ah Jiu.

Spend happy days together.

But his heart was always flustered and restless.

Because it seems that Ajiu is still Ajiu, and it seems that she is no longer Ajiu.

He didn't mention the past, but he didn't ask to be the new Gu Jiu either.

He didn't say anything anymore, he hid his emotions in his body, he smiled, shy and shy.

He turned into the Ajiu he didn't know.

Is it really like this?Is this the real Ajiu?

So, what about the old Ajiu?

It's always easy to see the open-minded smile, the hesitant, the submissive... What about Ajiu who is inexplicably confident and inexplicably inferior...

Now Ajiu is like... like Gu Yuan.

Like Gu Yuan who wasn't by Ajiu's side, like Gu Yuan in the ordinary.

Yan Chengli suddenly figured it out, he put down his work, although he had only done it for an hour, it was obvious that he needed to explain some things to Ajiu.

Ajiu seems to have misunderstood something.

He hurried back and pushed the room away. There was no one in the room, it was empty, only wide open windows and white curtains blown by the wind.

He panicked and opened another door in a daze, but there was still no one there.

He opened his mouth: "Ah... Ajiu!"

The first sound was as soft as a murmur, and the second sound was condensed, gradually tearing apart...

He shouted, searching helplessly: "Ajiu! Ajiu!"

Suddenly, the door of the bathroom was pushed open with a "thump", and a figure... crawled out from inside.

Yes, crawled out.

Yan Chengli rushed forward as if he had been granted an amnesty, and grabbed Ajiu.

Ajiu's face was pale and weak, his pajamas were full of undigested food residue, mixed with gastric juice, it was dirty and smelly, and he looked very embarrassed.

But Yan Chengli didn't care, he hugged him into his arms and kept saying, "Ajiu, Ajiu, Ajiu, Ajiu, Ajiu..."

"You're strangling me so hard..." Ajiu had just experienced a heart-wrenching vomit and vomited out all the breakfast she ate in the morning, which would be so strangled by him , I felt so uncomfortable that I was about to faint.

Only then did Yan Chengli realize his abnormality, and quickly asked, "What's wrong with you, Ajiu?"

With a pale face, Gu Jiu said, "It's okay, I ate too fast in the morning, and my stomach is not feeling well, it will be fine later."

Yan Chengli always felt that it revealed something weird, but he couldn't find the reason.

"Why are you coming back at this time?" Ajiu asked him after a while: "Aren't you supposed to work in the company?"

Yan Chengli carried him to the bed, took off his pajamas, changed him into clean clothes, and covered him with the quilt.

Ah Jiu felt that this scene was inexplicably familiar, and when he remembered that this was exactly the series of actions he did to Xiao Yuan, he could only smile wryly in his heart.

After Yan Chengli took the dirty clothes into the washing machine, he returned to the room, sat on the bed, stroked Ajiu's long hair behind his ears with his hands, and said, "Ajiu, I have something to tell you. "

"You said."

"Ajiu, I hope you can be yourself." Yan Chengli said.

"Eh..." Ajiu felt very strange: "I've been being myself."

"No," Yan Chengli shook his head, "No, that's not the case."

"Ajiu, you shouldn't be like this." Yan Chengli repeated the same words.

Gu Jiu's face darkened, he took his hands out of the quilt, and put them on the snow-white quilt.

He said: "Cheng Li, isn't this great? I'll be the person you want, can't we live a good life?"

Yan Chengli suddenly increased his voice: "I didn't!" He denied it flatly, but then seemed to have thought of something, and lowered his voice with a pale face: "Ajiu, I didn't think so."

"What are you thinking?" Ajiu asked him indifferently, his voice was cold, and so was his face.

"I never..." Yan Chengli closed his eyes, opened them again, and said to him, "Now, I really don't regard you as him, and I don't hope so. I just hope you do Own."

"Which one should you be?" Ajiu asked him, "Being the seven-year-old self? Or the nine-year-old self? Be the self who only opens and closes and only has those 'life experiences' that make you hate?"

Gu Jiu has never been so sharp, at the cost of hurting himself and him at the same time.

Yan Chengli didn't know how to answer, he was always the only one who made others speechless and unable to answer, and this was the first time he experienced this kind of embarrassment.

"It's good like this," Ajiu closed his eyes wearily, his face pale and frightening: "Cheng Li, isn't this good? I'll be the one you love, and you... you won't Will get tired of it, and we'll just . . . keep . . . "

He actually fell asleep.

Yan Chengli's heart is in a mess, why, everything is messed up.

No matter how you say it is wrong, no matter how you do it, it can't convey his heart.

What he clearly wanted to say was: Ajiu, you don’t need to learn from others, you don’t need to suppress yourself, I like you, whether it’s you at the age of seven, or you who can only talk about those unbearable experiences after the age of nine You, I've always loved you, you really don't need to imitate others, no matter how I convince myself, as long as I see you, the lies that deceived and deceived myself completely collapsed.

I only love you, no matter you are pure or you are stuck in mud.

It's just such a simple thing, why can't it be conveyed?

He gently opened the door and left quietly.

Ah Jiu opened his eyes, and there was reluctance and sadness in his eyes.

Cheng Li, whether you are telling the truth or lying.

Whether the love you gave me is true or false.

None of that matters anymore.

I don't have time to gamble with chips on your sincerity.

I just want to use the means that will not lose to get happiness, even if I become another person, it doesn't matter.

The feeling of happiness will not be fake.

"Don't be afraid, Yan Chengli, I will not leave until the end of my life." His lips squirmed, and he said to the Lord.

The Lord still took care of him, his illness would never happen when he was at home, even if it was the only time today, he didn't become suspicious.

That's great, he smiled sweetly and fell asleep deeply.

At noon, what should I cook for him?

In this way, the happy and ordinary daily life is really like a dream.

One more day, one more day, and it will be fine.

The author has something to say: I was locked again, I was very speechless and said that the artistic conception was completely destroyed, there is no way to abuse it, goodbye manually.