【Xun Si】How Could You Possibly?

No matter how comfortable it was to masturbate like this, the night marked one of the worst mistakes he'd made in a long time.

When he met Kaoru at school the next day, Shinji didn't dare to look at him any more, and turned his head with a hot face—it wasn't until the images in his mind flashed again last night that he realized why he was so angry today. so abnormal.God, what did I do last night.

He was afraid that Kaoru would have some kind of intuition, know what he did last night, and even more precisely know more details.Like a paranoid, Shinji was unnaturally quiet that day, and he rarely opened his mouth during the conversation between the two of them.But Kaoru didn't seem to mind, he was just a little worried about this change in his attitude.

"Are you ok?"

"Well—I'm fine. Thanks for your concern."

They were walking side by side in the hallway to history class, and when they got to the classroom, they were about to be separated.

Kaoru frowned, a slight change in expression made her feel different.

"you sure?"

Shinji swallowed hard, and screamed hysterically at him in small words from the bottom of his heart: He knew, he must have known, he saw right through you, so disgusting and embarrassing——

"Don't worry," he smiled nervously, trying his best to suppress the crazy thoughts bursting out of his head-he built a high wall.It was good to hold back, or he might have told the other boy what he had done.He was full of guilt.Shinji has no right to do that, he feels... dirty. "Just a little tired."

Kaoru nodded, temporarily putting aside his worries, but walked a few steps closer to him.

Despite his anxiety, Shinji couldn't refuse Kaoru's invitation to stay.He listened to Kaoru play after school again, and this time they stayed longer than usual.He had only recently composed a piece and was desperately looking for an audience.

Shinji really wanted to listen to him play forever, but the music finally ended.His project partner insisted on composing from this point on, since work had barely begun.

Practice their tunes.Kaoru wrote most of the but—both boys contributed.Shinji has at least brought out his cello, or more accurately, brought his borrowed cello, but still hasn't played it... On the contrary, his stand always seems to be unstable, and it seems that he will never be able to tune it Accurate, or a flower that is worthy of his non-stop reading has bloomed on the preliminary sheet of music.He just wants to listen to Xun playing the piano, but he also knows the fact that everything is difficult at the beginning, as long as he takes the first step, everything will follow; he is also very sure that as long as he dares to show himself, then as a partner, the two The final ensemble will definitely be more exciting.

After a few seconds of silence, the two sighed together.

Kaoru turned around on the piano bench, the two looked at each other and smiled, and at the same time decided not to beat around the bush.

"Play for me."

"You know, I don't know how to play the piano." Shinji guessed the meaning of his sentence, and shied away reflexively.

"No, your cello. Play it."

"What? But I—"

"Okay? I've already played the piano for you, Shinji," he coaxed him slowly, "I really want to hear you play the piano, and I haven't had one yet—anyway, for this subject You always have to give something.”

"I paid for it!"

"No, not on a musical level."

He is indisputable.He never played the violin for Kaoru, or even in front of him, he always put it off.The deadline for their project is approaching.Two weeks, maybe three weeks left.They still have time, but Shinji at least needs to be in the performance to get base points, and he knows he'll have to play sooner or later.

"OK?"

The black-haired boy sighed, stroked his hair, and stood up from the piano bench.His heart was heavy, but the adrenaline started to seep through him, and every one of his senses became aroused at the thought of playing for someone who was so...he was so....

"Okay..." he muttered, grabbing a chair in front of him, shuffling it a few steps, and picking up a stand. "Okay, okay..." He carefully took out the cello from the case, holding the bow in the other hand, sat down on the chair, and got into a posture.Feeling Kaoru's focused gaze, his face turned red again with a "shua".Kaoru had a noticeable smile on her face, and maybe a chuckle or two.

His palms were sweaty, wet and slippery.He held the bow with one hand to support the neck, wiped his trousers with the other hand, and then switched to wipe the other hand—he was so nervous.He had little time to practice, no way to get better, no way to prove his worth, and probably no way to wow the man who meant so much to him.He took a deep breath.

"I don't know what to pull."

"A simple piece of music, okay? Just follow your inner thoughts." Kaoru comforted him with gentle, reassuring words. "No matter what you play for me, I like it from the bottom of my heart."

for me.

That's why he's shy—Shinji's face is hot as if he's about to have a fever, and he's turning the adjustment screw, tensing his bow hair—and keeps his eyes fixed on the tile floor, embarrassed the whole time.

"Okay," he said, almost a whisper.

Sitting one meter away from Kaoru's piano bench, Shinji drew the bow.

Then screwed up.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry—I played it wrong, and I didn't tune it properly—" His heart shrank with tension, and he hurriedly tuned again, almost dropping the bow to the ground in a hurry.He bit his lower lip tightly, tested each string, and adjusted accordingly. "sorry--"

"There is nothing to apologize for..." Xun comforted, his words were like a ray of sweet spring penetrating into the bottom of his heart, soothing his tense nerves. "Go ahead." A thoughtful, intimate smile.warm eyes.Sweet tone.

Shinji tuned up.No problem, always, he's just dawdling in panic...he takes a second deep breath, hoping he won't need it to regulate his nerves again.

He closed his eyes, felt the strings under the fingerboard with his fingertips, and temporarily isolated himself from the outside world in order to play.

a note.one-second intervals.He pulled the bow back and forth, quiet, slow and restrained.After more than a minute, he gradually regained his confidence, the vibration of the strings became louder, using precise vibrato, stronger, gentler, and faster.The speed suddenly slowed down.In his memory, he wanted to play but couldn't, and the tune he wanted to practice but couldn't master came back in circles.

He didn't know what he was performing, what notes or beats his fingers chose—as if he had entered a dream, his fingertips slipped before his mind allowed it, and a tune he had never heard flowed out.Shinji played with all his heart and created with all his heart.The colorful music fragments he likes and the hazy melody fragments in his memory are all integrated in his performance, shining like a galaxy of stars.The complex fingerings in his mind had long been blurred and incomplete, but his fingers seemed to have life, moving flexibly and playing a brand new piece of music.

Shinji was so engrossed in the performance that he forgot the time. He slowly opened his eyes and looked at the ground, listening attentively.It's not like he is playing himself, but more like the sound of nature from afar, through a locked door, over thousands of rivers and mountains, over many barriers, into the ears and into the soul.From the beginning to the end, Kaoru stared at him intently. He sat on the piano bench with his legs crossed, full of satisfaction that it was this young man who played for him.Even though he was barely an arm's length away, Shinji forgot he was there.The moment he felt the vibration of the strings, all the tension and anxiety disappeared. It wasn't until the end of the song that he realized that his fingers were worn out unknowingly—Xun who was sitting in front fell into his eyes, and he His mind was still in a trance.

"I, uh—"

"It's so beautiful." Kaoru finally relaxed the breath he had been holding, and turned his head slightly to one side, as if he was still immersed in the wonderful aftertaste.With his fingers curled in his lap, he sat and listened, delighted, admiring... how long had it been? "Why didn't you play it for me sooner?"

"You——do you really like—?" Shinji's cheeks were flushed, nervousness surged back into his limbs again, and his hands were so trembling that he could barely hold the bow.

"Yes, very much."

"I—I..." He was so nervous.The whole person seemed to be on fire.He didn't want to die of embarrassment, so he quickly changed the subject. "What...? What time is it?"

He just said casually to divert his attention, but suddenly his heart sank.What if I miss the tram?He will never go back.

And of course, the last train has left. (Translation: Shinji, do you feel the malice from the world→_→)

The two grabbed the schoolbags on the ground, stuffed the music into the folder, and hurriedly put away their precious instruments.Immersed in the music and unable to extricate themselves, ignoring the passage of time and staying in the school for too long, both of them were startled by the sky at this time.And one of them had reason to be even more flustered.

"Are you going back by tram?"

"Uh, uh I... can't believe I didn't pay attention to the time, it's all my fault—"

"Of course it's not your fault," Kaoru comforted him, "In any case, your performance is worth taking the time to appreciate."

Hearing such gentle praise, Shinji's face was hot again, but he couldn't believe that he had made such a mistake.

"I—I actually—"

"When does the tram—"

"Six o'clock, it's almost seven o'clock now, I actually..."

"You can come to my apartment if you want," Kaoru directly suggested.His schoolbag was casually draped over his shoulders, and he was standing less than a meter away, waiting for his reply, "It's better to say, I insist."

He'd never brought up such a thing, and Shinji was a little caught off guard.His last words caught Shinji's full attention before he realized what he had just said.

"Are you really inviting me to your house?" Someone to save him... "I-I can't, but... subway..."

"I do not mind."

"Really?"

"Of course. My house is very close, and I'll be there in a while. And it's too late now, how can I let you go back alone." Quick and sure reply. "You can sleep here for a night, it's no trouble at all."

"I have no idea--"

"What else can you do?"

Simple questions with corresponding simple answers.

He has no choice.

"Okay, I... I'll go to your house. But I—I don't have pajamas, I don't have a blanket—"

"You can use mine." A smile. "I'm glad you came here, Shinji. It's just an accident, but I'm really happy."

"I feel so happy, Shinji."

Kaoru would most likely find that his face was still getting hotter uncontrollably, and he realized that he couldn't refuse.