sex addict

loving You like loving life. ——Wang Xiaobo

Song Yao woke up in a hotel not far from home. He habitually reached out to touch the other half of the bed, but he didn't feel any warmth.Mu Cheng, who was sitting by the bed watching him, realized that he was looking for him, so he stretched out his hand to hold his flustered hand, leaned over and leaned into his ear and said, "I'm here."

In an instant, Song Yao hugged Mu Cheng's hand tightly like a drowning man discovering driftwood. The tears pouring out of his eyes soaked his arms, making him wonder whether his choice of letting Song Yao go home to declare his love to his parents was wrong. up.

There is a lot of traffic outside the window, and the neon lights cater to the indifferent night with the most ostentatious posture, flashing a brilliance that does not belong to anyone.Mu Cheng looked at Song Yao who was lying on the bed, and inexplicably remembered the sentence in Haizi's "Poems on the Last Night and First Day": "The night is the wound of God, and you are my wound."

At this time, Song Yao was indeed the wound that made him feel heart-piercing pain, tearing from his throat to his ankle, and running through his whole body.When he caught up with Song Yao, Song Yao was on the verge of collapse, and he was at a loss for a while.In this city where Song Yao was born and raised, he couldn't find any place where Song Yao could rest in his arms.

Fortunately, Song Yao has a grandfather who loves him very much. Not long after they went out, Mr. Song sent them Song Yao's wallet, which contained the ID cards of two people. Because of this, they were able to find a corner Snuggle up to each other for warmth.

"Grandpa and Mu Mu came to visit us just now and brought food. Are you hungry? Do you want to get up and eat something?" Mu Cheng asked in a low voice.He knew that Song Yao was awake.

Song Yao raised his head and choked with tears in his eyes: "Mu Yan, you hug me...hug me, okay..."

If confessing to his parents was a long-planned conspiracy, then Mu Cheng must be the culprit.Thinking of this, he blamed himself and climbed onto the bed and hugged Song Yao tightly through the quilt.He didn't dare to touch him, it seemed that a little more touching would cause some new injuries that were hard to see with the naked eye.

In his sleep, Mu Cheng felt that someone pulled out the quilt that was under him and covered him with gentle movements like an angel.Within a few seconds, he felt a warm and soft rabbit crawling into his arms, curled up motionless to keep warm.When he woke up at dawn, he found that the angel and rabbit in his dream were really his own angel and little white rabbit.

When Mr. Song called, Mu Cheng still reluctantly lowered his head and kissed Song Yao's soft hair deeply.

"Answer the phone..." The little white rabbit in his arms floated out a somewhat displeased voice.

Afraid of disturbing the little white rabbit, Mu Cheng answered the phone in a low voice: "Grandpa, it's me, Mu Cheng."

"Ah Mu, is Ah Yao feeling better?"

"He's fine, he's still sleeping. Tell me if Grandpa has anything to say."

"Then let him sleep for a while, he has a bad stomach, remember to ask him to have breakfast when he wakes up. By the way, Amu, don't you know how to drive? You and A Yao will accompany me to see an old comrade-in-arms this afternoon."

Mu Cheng looked at Song Yao who was curled up in his arms, and agreed in a low voice: "Okay."

However, when the three of them arrived at the gate of the cemetery in the afternoon, they did not see Grandpa's old comrade-in-arms.He found a middle-aged man in uniform and asked, "May I ask where did Lao Lu, who used to be a volunteer here to guard the grave and clean the sanitation?"

"He? He is still wandering around the cemetery every day when he is old. No, one accidentally fell and injured half a month ago. He is lonely and has no children. He is hospitalized and has no one to take care of him. Fortunately, there is a nephew in my hometown who is very filial. Yes, take him back to his hometown."

The old man was a little disappointed. He found a cemetery with the flowers ordered by the florist, and stood there in a daze.Song Yao and Mu Cheng stood behind him with their heads bowed, somewhat puzzled but unable to ask further questions. It was not until he sighed deeply and said "I'm old" and turned around that they saw that he was already in tears.

After coming out of the cemetery, Mu Cheng found a stone bench for grandpa to sit on, and Song Yao took out the thermos bottle from the car and poured grandpa a glass of water.He refused, and said in a deep voice, "Son, grandpa will tell you a story."

"Well, good." Mu Cheng and Song Yao sat on the other two stone benches and listened.

"When my grandfather joined the army when he was young and was not a scout, he had a very close comrade-in-arms. He and the platoon leader of the 74th platoon were lovers. They fell in love in high school. The two went to the same university together, enlisted together, and trained together. They tried their best to restrain their love for each other and not show the slightest trace of their love in the crowd, so no one knew about their relationship in the past three years, including me."

Tears welled up in the old man's deep eyes, and he continued: "I didn't know their relationship until I saw them kissing goodbye in the corner of the station when I came home from family leave one year. Soldiers endure hardships and hardships every day/day and night, and it is normal to have secret feelings. From then on, I gradually realized that when my comrades in arms were on duty, the platoon leader would always watch from afar from an inconspicuous place. Looking at him, it turns out that the light in his eyes can be so tender when he looks at the platoon leader."

"What happened next?" Mu Cheng asked.

The old man looked into the distance, as if he was drawn back to a very distant place by his memories. "Later, in the establishment of the unit/team, they applied to be transferred to the Northwest Frontier Region to defend the territory. The two of them went there for 26 years and did not come back until they retired. Don't worry about it, because no one will think that two bad old men will be lovers."

"Then are they still together now?" Although Song Yao had already guessed something, he still couldn't help asking this question that might have a sad answer.

"Two years ago, the platoon leader died of a cerebral thrombosis. He went to the cemetery where the platoon leader died as a volunteer, guarding the cemetery for free. Once I went to see him and asked him whether he had to guard the cemetery after he was unmarried and defending the territory for so many years. Are you tired, this is to dedicate your entire life to the cause of socialism, guess what he said?"

The old man wiped away his old tears and said with a smile: "Haha, this old/thing, he actually told me—"It's nonsense to defend the territory, I just guard him, come to guard the cemetery, it's nothing It’s because this kind of guarding has become a habit. A habit of 40 to [-] years can’t be easily changed. It’s so easy! Haha, this old boy is still as stubborn as he was when he was young.”

"Grandpa, don't all relationships have to go through the test of time to get a good result? Could it be that it can't be good from the beginning? Or is the same sex/love wrong?" Song Yao suddenly felt sad.

"Silly boy, you also said that it is love. There is nothing wrong with love itself. What is wrong with same-sex/love? It is just more difficult than opposite-sex/love. This kind of hardship may be tormenting. Time may be the eyes of others, maybe the rejection of ideas, or even the discrimination taught by one generation to the next. Maybe grandpa can't wait for the day when your love will blossom and bear fruit, but if you feel that each other is what you want Those who stay together for a lifetime, then be stubborn."

This kind of sad mood extended to the way home. When the old man sent Mu Cheng and Song Yao back to City A, he patted the two of them on the shoulder and said, "Go out and play for a few days, find a good place for yourself to have a holiday, Give your parents some time to digest this matter."

Mu Cheng thinks about it too. Since the two of them started working, they have almost no time to go sightseeing, and the rare weekends can't stand the torment of overtime work. They leave less and less company for each other, and complain more and more.Now, taking advantage of the two people's work gap, it's time to go out to relax and spend time with each other.

Song Yao wanted to see the place where his grandfather, his old comrade-in-arms, stood up for love, and Mu Cheng also wanted to go to a remote and peaceful place, so the two finally made a unanimous decision—Tibet.

This trip didn't seem to have achieved the effect Mu Cheng expected, at least on the way there Mu Cheng didn't see Song Yao as happy and excited as he used to travel.He knew what Song Yao was worried about and why he was depressed, but he felt helpless and didn't know what he could do for him.

Tired of tossing and tossing along the way, Song Yao rested on Mu Cheng's shoulder on the plane.In order to make him lean more comfortably, Mu Cheng stretched out his arms to wrap his shoulders.However, this seemingly sweet and happy picture is not as romantic as it is written in the novel. The reality is that they "harvest" strange eyes from strangers because of this.

Seeing the undisguised malice from the world, Mu Cheng slightly turned his head to look at the person on his shoulder, stretched out his hand calmly, and covered Song Yao's half of his face, especially his eyes, with his palm.

When passing through Lijiang, Yunnan Province on the way, Song Yao said he wanted to see the Jade Dragon Snow Mountain. Mu Cheng rubbed his hair and said, "Okay, I'll listen to you."

On the way from the ancient city of Lijiang to Jade Dragon Snow Mountain, Mu Cheng turned around and faced Song Yao while walking backwards and said, "I like Jade Dragon Snow Mountain. It's as clean as you, and as simple as a child who doesn't know much about the world. It's beautiful and charming. Distressed, the more distressed, the more I like it."

Knowing that he was trying to make himself happy, Song Yao still looked disgusted: "What's so distressing about Jade Dragon Snow Mountain? You are enough to talk nonsense just to tell me a love story, hypocritical."

Mu Cheng slowed down, and pointed Song Yao's nose with his index finger: "Isn't this the over-exploitation of the environment in recent years and the deterioration of the environment? There are fewer and fewer glaciers. If you don't pay attention to protection, the good times will be gone in a few years, doesn't it mean that Seeing that there is one less place where we can travel around the mountains and indulge in dates, isn't it a pity and makes people feel distressed?"

"Indeed." Song Yao gave him an awkward yet polite smile.He ran up and kissed the top of Song Yao's head, staring at Song Yao finally with a smile on his face, without saying a word.

Back at the hotel at night, Mu Cheng lay down after taking a shower, picked up an unnamed magazine in the hotel, and read it while reading: "Jade Dragon Snow Mountain is called 'Oulu in Naxi language. ', which means silver mountain rock. Its thirteen snow-capped peaks are continuous, like a 'dragon' leaping and flying, so it is called 'Yulong'. And because its lithology is mainly limestone and basalt, black and white are distinct, so Also known as 'Black and White Snow Mountain'. It is the sacred mountain of the Naxi people, and it is said that it is the incarnation of the protector of the Naxi people 'Sanduo'."

Song Yao listened, closed the suitcase without saying a word, and went to take a shower. When he came out, Mu Cheng had put down the book, turned off the desk lamp and closed his eyes. Song Yao thought he was asleep, so he lay down gently and covered it. Quilt.

Just as he closed his eyes and was going to sleep, Mu Cheng said, "There is a beautiful story about Jade Dragon Snow Mountain, do you want to hear it?"

Song Yao pulled the quilt: "Well, I thought you were asleep, tell me."

Mu Cheng stretched his hands and crossed his fingers behind his head, lying on his back, and said slowly: "A long time ago, a young master in Mufu fell in love with a beautiful, kind, clean and pure Naxi girl. They were allowed to be together. They didn't want to go against their parents' wishes and couldn't let go of their feelings for each other, so they chose to die in the depths of Jade Dragon Snow Mountain. They believed that after their death, Jade Dragon Snow Mountain, the patron saint of the Naxi people, would take care of them. Their loved ones, at the same time, give their love the greatest freedom. From then on, whenever there are lovers who love each other but can’t stay together, when they struggle with family affection and love, they will come to Jade Dragon Snow Mountain to find a place together, relying on Snow-covered glaciers, embracing each other and dying."

Song Yao was silent.Mu Cheng asked him, "Are you listening?"

"Well. If one day I also come to a step where I have to make a decision, will you hold me and die deep in the Jade Dragon Snow Mountain?" Song Yao's soft voice seemed a little sad when he asked this question, and he continued Answer: "I will."

Mu Cheng turned his head to look at Song Yao, even though Song Yao's face and expression could not be seen clearly in the dark, he still wanted to look at this person.He said: "If that day comes, our love is still like the thin snow that melts at the sight of light, or the Jade Dragon Snow Mountain that does not belong to our love, then we will come, and we will find a place like those lovers. It’s good that there is a tree, at least we can turn into soil to nourish the tree after we die. We lean on the tree, I hug you, tell you every bit of what we have experienced, and then fall asleep together, fall asleep If you die, you will die..."

He froze for a moment, seemed to be holding back, and his voice became hoarse: "But when I think of you being afraid of the cold, I can't help but put your hands in my armpits, and when I think of your flushed face, I shiver I feel distressed, I am afraid when I think that you will never wake up after falling asleep... I am afraid that you will die first, and you will panic if you don’t see me with you on Huangquan Road, and you are even more afraid that I will die first. Come to find out that I abandoned you, you will be sad... That's right, they are all dead, so how can you be afraid? But I am afraid, what can I do..."

Tears stained the chill of the night and rolled down from the corners of his eyes to his ears.Song Yao listened quietly and sniffed.Mu Cheng asked him if he was cold or touched, but he didn't speak.

Mu Cheng sat up suddenly, walked to Song Yao's bed, carefully lifted a corner of the quilt, got into the bed, turned sideways and opened his arms to look at Song Yao.With a slight smile, Song Yao threw herself into his arms, pillowed his arms, and hugged his waist tightly.

Song Yao, whose heart warmed, could feel that Mu Cheng, who was hugging him with all his strength, was kissing the top of his head, so gentle and reassuring.

He curled up in Mu Cheng's arms and fell asleep. Mu Cheng listened to his gentle breathing and said to himself: "I'm sorry, I don't have the courage to watch you die slowly. If there is such a day, I will definitely I will bring my mobile phone, find a place that is not so remote, must have a signal, call someone to rescue you when you are asleep, and then I will find a place to hide by myself, waiting to see someone rescue you , after confirming that you are safe, find a place to die by yourself..."

He snorted and laughed bitterly at himself: "Hey, without you by my side, it would be so painful for me to die alone, but I can't bear to have you die with me... There is nothing I can do to prevent you from looking at my dead body and crying." I can't raise my hand to wipe away the tears on your face. When I die, I must find a place where no one can find me...Song Yao, I love you..."

When they arrived in Lhasa, Mu Cheng and Song Yao stood side by side at the foot of the mountain and looked at the magnificent Potala Palace. It is the land that I laid down for you!" Then he turned his head and raised his eyebrows and smiled evilly: "How is it? Do you like it?"

Song Yao curled his lips and smiled: "Absurd! Bravely rebelling against the son, this is clearly what your father laid down for you!"

"For husband?" Mu Cheng smiled even more wickedly.

"Father, Fowu father" Song Yao indifferently corrected each word.

Mu Cheng was overwhelmed with flattery, as if he didn't expect Song Yao to answer his words, so he reached out and rubbed Song Yao's soft hair, and said with a smile: "My concubine, don't make trouble..."

Stretching out his hand to block Mu Cheng's salty pig's trotters, Song Yao said domineeringly: "Presumptuous! I am the Supreme Emperor. Don't think that you can do whatever you want if you become the emperor!"

Mu Cheng was stunned: "Hey, you are forcing me to call you father..."

"What's your name?" Song Yao had a meaningful smile on his lips.

Mu Cheng didn't understand, so he said, "Dad."

Song Yao stood on tiptoe and touched Mu Cheng's head, and said with a smile, "Hey, Daddy's darling!"

Mu Cheng realized in an instant that Song Yao had been tricked, but he just smiled and didn't refute anything. He just leaned into Song Yao's ear and whispered: "I will remember the phrase 'Dad' first, and I will let you call me when I get to bed at night. 'Daddy' is no longer a lie."

"..." Song Yao's ears warmed up, and he gave Mu Cheng a disgusted but sharp look, and he said "rogue" before turning around and stepping on the stone steps.

Mu Cheng couldn't help grinning, God knows how much he likes Song Yao's shy blushing, and he is also happy that he has achieved his goal of making Song Yao smile.So he yelled at Song Yao's back: "Be careful! Hey Song Yao, you are waiting for me! Haha..."

In the next few days, they went to the places they wanted to go and witnessed the most devout beliefs of the Tibetan compatriots when they worshiped.Song Yao took pictures of the left half of many beautiful scenes, and Mu Cheng painted the right. It has been a long time since they sat in the same place to draw pictures and enjoy the scenery quietly.When leaving, Song Yao felt a little bit reluctant, and said secretly: "The days in the past passed very slowly, cars, horses, and mail were all slow, and there was only enough to love one person in a lifetime. It would be great if I could always be like this."

"When we are old, we will come here to take care of ourselves. It is enough to find a small village."

"Okay."

On the return flight, Song Yao still leaned against Mu Cheng, and Mu Cheng still hugged Song Yao.The difference is that when Mu Cheng stretched out his hand to cover Song Yao's eyes again, Song Yao raised his hand to hold his wrist and slowly moved it to his chest/chest, turned his head to look at him, and smiled faintly, saying that only each other can hear The tone of arrival said: "With you here, I am not afraid."

Don't be afraid of other people's words and eyes, and don't be afraid of the so-called moral fetters.

Mu Cheng looked straight into Song Yao's fiery eyes, and was a little at a loss for a moment. He smiled foolishly and lightly touched Song Yao's head with his head, like a special kiss.

"Go to sleep."

The author has something to say:

I especially like Mu Xin's "Once Upon a Time Slow", and I would like to extract an excerpt here for those who like it to enjoy together:

Remember when I was young

Sincerely everyone

say one sentence

Early morning train station

dark long street

The shop selling soy milk is steaming

The day before is getting slower

Cars, horses, and mail are slow

Only love one person in a lifetime

The locks used to be nice too

Beautiful key

You'll understand when you lock it