sex addict

When the law prevents two people who love each other from being together, it should be changed. — Cameron

Mu Cheng was lying on the side of the bed looking at the lazy and sexy Song Yao after a night of indulgent sex/love, couldn't help raising his hand to pinch his delicate and clean face, and called him softly: "Xiao Mu, wake up .”

"No, I'm tired..." The excessive indulgence made Song Yao feel more physically exhausted than ever before. He turned his head and buried his face in the pillow. His hoarse voice couldn't hide the fact of the intense/sexual intercourse yesterday.

Mu Cheng looked up at the alarm clock beside the bed, it was already past 2 pm.Yesterday, I tossed from morning to afternoon, ate something casually, and it was raining again, and Song Yao was made/passed out several times.When everything calmed down, it was already another early morning, and he had never been so out of control.When he thought that he almost lost this person, he was grateful for the fear of this unnecessary "lost and regained". At that moment, he just wanted to integrate this person into his body.

"I'll take you to take a bath and have dinner." Mu Cheng lifted the quilt and was taken aback by the blue and red marks of love on Song Yao's fair body. It looks like it's faintly distressed.He passed through the bend of Song Yao's knee with one hand, and carried him horizontally into the bathroom.

Song Yao's legs could not be closed, and he trembled as soon as he landed, completely unable to support the weight of his body.When Mu Cheng let go to turn on the shower head, he was so weak that he almost fell to the ground. Thanks to Mu Cheng's quick reaction, he hugged him in time.There is no way, with Song Yao like this, Mu Cheng can only support his waist/waist to help him wash, while Song Yao is soft in his arms the whole time and is at his mercy.

Simple porridge served with fried eggs, a cup of hot milk for each person, no matter how impetuous life is, it will melt into the tranquility of this moment.Open your eyes together in the morning and say good morning to each other, brush your teeth together, shave together, eat breakfast together, then go to work together, take a shower together at night, have sex together, and sleep late together on weekends if you have nothing to do, even if you sleep until today No one disturbed me in the afternoon. Only after experiencing the loneliness of one person can we cherish the beauty of two people.

"I lost my job and now I'm a homeless person. Would you despise me?" Mu Cheng's leg stretched under the dining table lightly touched Song Yao's calf.

Song Yao showed the tip of his tongue and licked the milk on his lips: "Of course not. Then I also lost my job and stayed at home, will you not want me?"

"How is it possible not to? Don't be afraid, I will support you, and I promise to feed you." Mu Cheng suddenly clamped Song Yao's calf, and his words were full of teasing.

Song Yao glared at him: "Can you put away the yellow waste that is full of your head?"

Mu Cheng smiled foolishly, and said in a negotiating tone: "Before looking for a job, I want to do one thing first."

"what's up?"

"After these things happened, I thought about it for a long time. I think I can't live a day without you. I can't imagine how I will live if one day you leave me. So, I want to tie you by my side , tied for a lifetime."

Song Yao looked at him lazily lying on the dining table, and laughed out loud, "You're not ashamed to say 'a lifetime' before you're half buried."

"It can't be said that if I can live the average life expectancy of Chinese people, then the loess has already buried one-third of my body, and I will use the one-third of my body that is about to turn into a piece of loess to talk about it. Isn't 'a lifetime' enough?" Mu Cheng said solemnly.

Song Yao blinked and asked, "So?"

"So, I will tell my parents about our relationship, and I will officially introduce you to them as a daughter-in-law. When the conditions permit, we will get a certificate to be a legal couple, no, a legal couple; if the conditions are not allowed We'll go to Holland, Norway, Sweden, Finland, any country that legalizes same-sex marriage."

Song Yao straightened up and looked at the light of longing in Mu Cheng's clear eyes when he said these words, and the words "Are you serious?" that rushed to his lips turned into a sweet word—"Okay .”

Mu Cheng seemed to have obtained a special license, and hugged Song Yao excitedly.Song Yao clasped his fingers around his neck, wrapped his legs around his waist, and hung on him like a koala.Tired from the fuss for a while, he put Song Yao on the dining table and sat down, looking up for a kiss.

Song Yao smiled and lowered his head to lightly press a kiss on his lips, watching him smile contentedly like a child.

When you have hope, you will count the days to live, when you have no hope, you will even forget what day it is today.The two have been in love for nearly 2011 years since their relationship was confirmed at the end of 4. Mu Cheng felt that it was time to confess to his parents.

Song Yao didn't express his position on this matter, and Mu Cheng didn't force it. He was willing to give Song Yao more time to think about it.Because he knew in his heart that it was not that Song Yao didn't want to, but that he didn't dare. He could accompany Song Yao to face it, but he was not willing to let Song Yao face the reprimand from his close relatives when he was not ready.So he decided to test the water first, so he picked a weekend and went home alone.

When I got home, my mother hadn't finished class yet, so Mu Cheng bought some random vegetables and made a not-so-rich but extremely rare dinner for his parents.It was only after chatting at the dinner table that Mu Cheng knew that his father had gone to the countryside for an inspection, and it would be a few days before he could return home.After eating, he washed the dishes very consciously, and cared for his mother to the extent that he squeezed her shoulders and beat her back.

Li Xin knew his son too well, turned his head to look at Mu Cheng with a courteous face, and asked, "Did you get into some trouble outside?"

"No."

"Really?"

"No!" After denying it, Mu Cheng lowered his voice: "But I quit my job."

Li Xin smiled and asked with an elderly attitude of "don't listen to the old man's words, and you will suffer in front of your eyes": "What? Didn't you want to die and live in China before? Why are you willing to quit your job now? ? If you had listened to me about going abroad at that time, wouldn’t there be so many things? I said that I would not harm you. If you had listened to me earlier, you might have a monthly salary of over [-] now.”

"Yes, yes, what my mother said is true, then I regret it. When I look for a job again after the Chinese New Year, I must let you check it out for me, okay?"

"That's about the same. Then what are you doing for nothing? Don't fool me. I'm tired after a day of class."

As soon as Mu Cheng heard what his mother said, he became more diligent in his hands, but he stammered: "That's right, it's what I have. I handed over an object, dare not, dare not bring it back..."

Li Xin's eyes brightened: "Hey, brat, you didn't like the daughters of so many teachers who introduced you to you before, but you found one yourself that you didn't even dare to bring back home. You are so talented! Tell me, I Let's see which girl made you so hard."

Mu Cheng licked his dry lips, swallowed, and said in a low voice, "It's... Song, Song Yao."

"Who?" Li Xin seemed to have heard but also didn't.

"The college classmates I brought back last time, Song, Song Yao..." After speaking, Mu Cheng immediately hid under the curtain and caught the sofa pillow thrown by his mother.

"Mu Cheng! You are really capable! I..." Li Xin was too impatient to speak.

Mu Cheng threw down the pillow and ran to the kitchen to pour a cup of hot water for his mother, and he mustered up the courage to say, "Mom, I know you won't be able to accept it for a while, but Song Yao is not a bad boy, don't you like him a lot? I am serious with him, in fact, we have been together for a long time, but I dare not tell you and my dad, for fear that you will force us to break up."

Seeing that his mother didn't respond, Mu Cheng went on to say: "Mom, you know that I have never had a serious relationship, let alone brought someone back. But Song Yao is different. I have never liked him like that." Like others, I'm not gay but I can't even explain why I like him so much. I want to bring him back to show you, I want to get your understanding and approval, I even want to spend the rest of my life with him, in your I will live my whole life in the blessings of my life... I have never met someone who would make me have such thoughts and impulses before, and there will never be another one in the future, he is the first and the last one..."

Li Xin took a sip of the water, followed by a silent silence.There was no anger on her stiff face, but calmness on the contrary, but there was a hint of helplessness looming under the calm expression. "Come with me to your room."

Mu Cheng looked at his mother's unknowingly old figure, and his heart sank.He followed his mother into the room, and saw her turn on the light and sit on his bed, gently smoothing the folds on the sheets, as if comforting his childhood self to sleep, with loving and kind eyes.

"Mu Cheng, I won't try to break you up deliberately, but it doesn't mean I support you being together. I'm sorry, Mu Cheng, this is the maximum tolerance I can give my children as a mother. I hope you can understand me. Just like you long for me to understand you."

"Mom, thank you for your understanding and tolerance." Seeing his mother's unexpected reaction, Mu Cheng's eyes instantly wet. He thought his mother would scold him severely. It seems that he still doesn't know his mother too well. .

Li Xin picked up the "Lincoln" on Mu Cheng's bedside and flipped through a few pages, and said again in the sound of flipping the pages: "Lincoln told a story to a congressman during the Civil War - the lion and the woodcutter's daughter They fell in love. The beautiful girl asked the lion to propose marriage to the woodcutter. The woodcutter said: "Your teeth are too long and will hurt my lovely daughter." So the lion pulled out the tooth. The woodcutter said: "Your teeth are too long. The claws are too long, and they will hurt my beautiful daughter.’ So the lion pulled out the claws too. Seeing that the lion was disarmed, the woodcutter shot the lion dead with a gun.”

For some reason, Mu Cheng felt that his mother at this time was very much like a bruised female beast silently licking her wounds in an unknown corner.He walked to the edge of the bed and sat down on the floor with his head down, resting his head on his mother's lap.

Li Xin raised his hand and gently stroked Mu Cheng's hair, each stroke made Mu Cheng so comfortable that he wanted to fall asleep.

"Actually, you know very well in your hearts, and I understand that this road is not easy to walk... I just don't want you to be reckless and reckless for your so-called love, and I don't want you to be impulsive and reckless, and I don't want to see You took off your defenses for your homosexuals and ended up as a lion. You have to know that if you choose this path, you are destined to make compromises. The gun in the farmer’s hand will be pointed at you at any time, and more than one shot. Everyone will become a farmer with a gun, and you will face the danger of being executed by gossip at any time. Mu Cheng, protect yourself and talk about other things..."

At this point, Mu Cheng couldn't ask for anything more from his mother.He took his mother's hand and placed it on his face, rubbing affectionately on her palm with two hard calluses that had been holding pens all year round, and murmured like a child coquettishly: "Mom, thank you."

A woman is weak, but a mother is strong.All children are the mother's most indestructible armor, and even the mother's most vulnerable weakness.

It was noon two days later when Mu Cheng returned to his home in City A. As soon as he entered the door, he found Song Yao asleep in front of the computer.He carefully bent down and picked Song Yao up from the chair, planning to go back to bed to rest.Although the movement was light, it still woke Song Yao up. He said sleepily, "I thought you were going to cover me with clothes."

"What kind of clothes are you covering? Clothes are not as warm as me, why don't you just cover me?" He carried Song Yao back to the bedroom and put him lightly on the bed, lifted the quilt and got in together.

Song Yao pushed Mu Cheng's hairy head buried deep in the socket of his shoulder: "Don't make a fuss, itchy..." Seeing that Mu Cheng not only didn't get up, but burrowed into his arms more and more, he asked, "Aren't your parents okay?" Will he hit you?" Mu Cheng shook his head.Song Yao continued: "Then what happened?"

"She didn't object, and my mother didn't object!" Mu Cheng straightened his head and hugged Song Yao into his arms, tears disappeared from the corner of his eyes into Song Yao's soft hair.

Song Yao tightly wrapped his arms around Mu Cheng's waist, resting his head against his chest/mouth and listening to his heartbeat.Said softly: "I miss Mu Mu, go back to pick him up on the weekend, can you go back with me?"

"Okay, I'll listen to you."

Grandpa is the only one in the huge family as always, but fortunately, with Mu Mu by his side, the old man will not be too lonely.Song Yao took advantage of the time when Mu Cheng took Mu Mu out to buy vegetables and sat beside his grandfather. "Grandpa, what should I do if I like someone but my family doesn't support two people being together?"

"What? Ah Yao has someone he likes? Haha, yes, he should have a sweetheart at this age. Which family's daughter is it? Tell grandpa. Is it the one who kept calling and texting you last time?"

Song Yao didn't answer.The old man looked at his grandson's silence, and then said: "Well, if the person involved doesn't say anything, how do you know that the love between the two won't get the support of the family? When I fell in love with your grandma, the family didn't support it, but Young people, they are still together because they like each other. You see, don’t you also enjoy family happiness now? Although your grandma is gone, I have never regretted it. "

Song Yao muttered: "Then what if it's a boy..."

"What boy?"

"What if the person I like is a boy?"

The old man patted Song Yao on the shoulder, "Is it Mu Cheng? He's a smart boy, but does he know? If you don't know, let's stop thinking about it while there is still room for maneuver. Maybe there is still time..."

"Grandpa, I brought him back just to let you know my relationship with him."

"Have you figured it out? No regrets?"

"Think it over, don't regret it." Song Yao's firm eyes made the old man stunned. He hadn't seen Song Yao make such a firm determination for a long time.

"Haha, then I took advantage of it, and picked up a big grandson for nothing!"

While chatting and laughing, Su Zimin opened the door and came in. Mr. Song left space for their mother and son, and went to meet Mu Cheng at the door by himself.

"Mom, I'm in love. The other... The other is a person like me."

"Really? That's great, you're right. Which family is the girl from? What do parents do?"

"No, Mom, you misunderstood. I mean, the other party is a boy like me." Song Yao mustered up his courage when he said this.

"What? Song Yao! Do you know what you're talking about?"

"Mom, I know very well that you will know about this one day. I will spend my whole life with him, so I don't want to hide from you all my life."

"Song Yao! This dangerous idea will destroy you, I will never allow it! Your father will not allow it either! I don't care who he is, please stop your ridiculous behavior immediately!"

"Mom, I hope you can put down your tone on stage. I am your son, not your audience." Song Yao said coldly.

"Song Yao...is this the attitude you should have when talking to your mother as a son?" Su Zimin's expression gradually twisted.

"Mom, a city that has been raining for a long time is the most beautiful when it is full of sunshine, and my life is the same. I have lived in that small rainy city for more than 20 years. My grandfather helped me clean up the haze like the sun, but the small city is too rotten. It's been a long time, until I met him, my world really became clear. I used to be autistic, depressed, and even suicidal, do you and my dad know?"

Su Zimin took a step back and slumped on the sofa, staring at Song Yao in a daze. Her angry eyes proved her disbelief. Obviously, she never expected her gentle and elegant son to say these words.

Song Yao shook his head in pain, and tears rolled out of his eyes uncontrollably: "I don't like Shakespeare at all, you know? The reason why I read Shakespeare over and over again every day is because I hope that when you go home, I can have a good relationship with you." Common topic. Do you know why I prefer to use a camera to record scenery than to start painting by hand? Because I have no talent for painting at all, and it is really hard when I practice painting hard.”

He raised his finger and pointed to the piano in the living room, crying: "The piece I play best is Beethoven's "Symphony of Destiny", but my favorite is Mozart's piece that is as clean as a child. So put so much effort into learning what you don’t like, because it’s what you like, and it’s what my dad wants to see. When I was young, you and my dad devoted themselves to work and rarely went home. I wish you could come back Look at me, how I wish my dad could hug me like other fathers and say 'Xiao Mu is heavy again' Even if I didn't gain weight at all, I wish you could touch my head and rub me like other mothers "Xiao Mu has grown taller again" even if it's just perfunctory. You asked me to address you with the most polite honorifics, don't you feel alienated?"

"Now that I'm grown up, I want to try what I really like, can't you give me freedom? What's wrong with boys, what's wrong with the same sex, he understands me and loves me better than anyone else, even better than myself, better than You and my dad. He will care about what I like and dislike, he will care about whether I am happy or sad, he will worry about whether I am hungry, and he will watch me take a bottle when I have a stomach problem. He and I Like-minded and connected, he does not spare his time, energy and feelings. As long as it is related to me, he makes up for what I lack the most since I was a child. After listening to it for so long, you should know what it is? Yes, it is love, It's caring, it's companionship and waiting, it's the most useless and impractical thing you think!" After saying this, Song Yao felt relieved, and looked at his mother empty-eyed.

Su Zimin covered his whole face with trembling hands, and the unconcealable sadness was transmitted to Song Yao's ears from the intermittent sobs.Song Yao held his breath and couldn't clenched his trembling lower lip, made the greatest determination to turn around and slam the door out, leaving his mother throwing herself down on the sofa and crying bitterly.

Mu Cheng, who was stopped by the old man Song, looked at Song Yao who rushed out from behind the door, feeling so painful that he couldn't breathe.He knew almost nothing about what Song Yao just said. He had never seen Song Yao express his feelings so straightforwardly and strongly. He had heard Song Yao say he liked him but never asked why. He is as important as light in his heart.

Without thinking too much, he followed Song Yao's footsteps and went out.There is no need to ask the destination, just follow him steadfastly.

That night Song Yu went home and saw Su Zimin's eyes were red and swollen, and after asking why, he became furious: "It's just nonsense! Call Song Yao back!"

Mr. Song was trimming orchid grass in the living room, and said unhurriedly, "Why did you call me back? Do you want to give me a beating?"

"Dad, you don't even know what he did! Shameless!"

"Come on, I know no less than you, a father. Song Yao grew up under my nose, how can I not know him? But you, what else can you do besides blaming him? He is already an adult He is old and has his own ideas, you should respect him more."

"Is his behavior worthy of respect? Dad, you just dote on him too much. You can see how he is used to it! It is really useless to read the sage books these years, shameless!"

"Enough Song Yu! The son is not the father's fault. Are you going to restrain and imprison him for the rest of his life? Have you really considered the problem from his perspective? That is your son, shameless? Shameless? Words like this are used to describe Do you think it's appropriate for your own son? Have you taken his self-esteem into consideration?"

Song Yu threw his suit on the sofa, restrained his anger and said, "No matter what, I will never agree with him to continue doing this kind of thing! Dad, you can leave this matter alone, I also hope On this issue, don't follow Song Yao to mess around."

"Song Yu, since you said that, I'll leave it to you. Song Yao is your son and my grandson. If you dare to touch him about this matter, don't blame me for being rude! Although I am old, You can't let yourself go to the house to reveal the tiles in this house!"

After speaking, he walked to the sofa and handed Song Yu's suit to Su Zimin, and said kindly: "Zimin, tell Song Yu what A Yao said to you during the day, and then you can take care of yourself. Try to figure out those words, when you figure it out and when will you call A Yao back."

As if recovering from a serious illness, Mr. Song stood up straight, turned around and called out to the balcony to Mu Mu, who Song Yao left before he had time to take him away: "Xiao Mu, let's go, grandpa will take you to practice Tai Chi!" Wagging his tail, he jumped out and ran around Mr. Song non-stop, and went out with him.

The author has something to say:

I watched Chai Jing's "Seeing" a long time ago. The chapter "We will be inseparable, like water dissolves in water" is about homosexuality. After reading it, I was deeply touched. When I wrote this part, I suddenly remembered it. , I just want to excerpt my favorite passage here:

"Homosexuality is determined by innate genes. In dozens of antelope animals, same-sex sex/behavior has also been observed. In primates, attachment phenomena, human attachment phenomena, have also been observed to a certain extent. We call it love." Zhang Beichuan said. (Zhang Beichuan is the earliest and most accomplished scholar in the study of homosexuality in China.)

Chai Jing asked Zhang Chuanbei: "Why doesn't our society accept homosexuals?"

He said: "Because in our sex/culture, procreation is regarded as the purpose of/sex, ignorance is regarded as purity, ignorance is regarded as virtue, and prejudice is regarded as principle."

He surveyed eleven hundred gay men back and forth.70.00% of them feel extreme pain, 30.00% of them have strong suicidal thoughts, 30.00% of them have attempted suicide, and [-]% of them have suffered from insult, sexual/harassment, assault, extortion/blackmail, criticism and punishment, etc. .

"Those homosexuals who commit suicide every year are psychologically AIDS patients, psychologically terminally ill patients. Who gave him this terminal illness? It was not given to him by HIV, but given to him by society." Cui Zien said.

Chai Jing asked: "Is there something more important to homosexuals than life?"

"Correct."

"What is it?"

"Love, freedom, the air, the space to express one's identity openly."

"What if it can't be provided?"

"If it cannot be provided, this kind of suppression, this kind of pain and despair will continue forever, and it will become a chronic disease that can never be solved in society."