Institute diary

Fine dust appeared on the glass, a little bit ferociously formed into a net, and even the leaves outside the window also burst into cracks.

In a blink of an eye, it was early autumn.

I am still busy every day - checking patients who need me, recording new arrivals here, and performing operations on everyone who does not want to die.

Then he came to see Xu Qi every day.

We all kept silent about our previous entanglements and impulsive mistakes, not because we didn’t dare, but because—maybe one day when I come back, he will never need me to treat his illness.

We enjoy a moment of tenderness, to kill it intentionally and sadly.

But the situation is not optimistic - he has lost weight, and he is always weak and cold sweat.When I touch his body, I feel that his bones protrude almost skinny.

Of course, it is the same every time I go to bed. From time to time, I will be short of breath, my chest will hurt, and my hands will be soaked in cold sweat, silently impacting my internal organs.

Virus infection is very likely to be cured, but HIV is still very difficult, not to mention it still has not developed a killer.

Xu Qi and I seem to have done it several times.But why am I fine?

I asked myself a heavy question, but didn't even want to know the outcome - it might hit me in the head.I twirled my pen and thought.

"Doctor Fu is going to see the patient in Room 071 again?" Li Na made tea, and the fat sea in the tea rose and fell, like a poor drowning worm.

I let out a "huh", put down the record file and stood up, and the chair made a "squeak-ah" sound that stimulated the cochlea.

"With all due respect, Doctor Fu," Li Na raised her voice slightly to ensure that she raised her voice, "You are a doctor, so you should stay as far away from patients as possible to avoid infectious diseases."

"What do you mean?"

"Doctor, you must know what HIV is like. It is easily transmitted. There is no antibody or killer."

I watched her mouth open and close indifferently, and said with a serious face, "Be clear."

"Then let me just say it, to be clear. If there are some HIV or infected people who are infected, then they are victims. As a victim, what do you think they will do? They go from normal people to plague , of course want revenge on society!

They may choose to deliberately infect others with the disease in various ways in their lifetime, so that others are like them or even worse-just to get pleasure for themselves.

The more they spread, the more people get infected, the happier they are. "

Li Na smiled and said, looking into my eyes, "Doctor Fu, you have a bright future, but you must not...be careful."

She changed the last sentence.

I take off my gloves.

It seems that in the research institute, an assistant knows more than me.

"You just want me to guard against 071 by saying this?"

"You can understand it this way, it's not wrong at all. After all, infection has a way to enjoy—****."

"Then thank you for your reminder." I said as I walked out of the office, feeling that every word I heard just now had a malicious temperature, and every time I added a character, the temperature around me dropped by one degree.

One day, I will numb myself and lose my nature in these gossips.Then he died without even a drop of warm blood.

A soft sigh came from the hallway, and I didn't realize it was me until the echo almost died away.

I remember the first time I had sex with Xu Qi was in high school. That time, after I learned that he was in a relationship, I was so mad that I forced him.

At that time, I wished I could eat him, literally swallow him.

After that, he kept avoiding me, didn't settle accounts with me and didn't treat me as a friend anymore.

Seems like it's always been like this - I'll come to him first.It's the same in this institute, I always go to him, and he agrees to have sex with me, maybe because I'm a doctor, but before that, he has been unwilling or even wants to see me.

His girlfriend, I know her, is called Duan Xiaowan.

Last year, a patient in room 023 was abandoned. The patient was Duan Xiaowan, and I was responsible.

She did the leg injury.

Duan Xiaowan hates me.

You can tell from her desperate posture at that time.

But why does she hate me?She doesn't know about Xu Qi and me, and if she wants to hate, I hate her.

But there is no need to hate her at all, she is nothing.

I wanted to dig out the cigarettes in my pocket, and then I remembered that smoking is prohibited in the institute.

I looked up to the side, it was marked "071".

I opened the oxygen-white ward door, and saw Xu Qi curled up on the bed, looking very peaceful.

I touched his face, reached into the bed and fumbled, and was covered in cold sweat again.

"Xu Qi?"

"Don't worry, you're not dead." Xu Qi put on a smile on his face, "It's just a little hot, I can't die."

"Really?" I sat on the bed, wrapped him in a thin quilt, pulled him into my arms, stretched out my mouth to lick his sensitive neck, and sucked out a red mark.

It would still be like this—just looking at him, just looking at him like that, wishing to become one with him.

"Hiss, why have you been so erotic lately, Fu Yan, have you got your sperm on your head?" He pushed my head with little strength.

"Miss... you." I bit his chin, vaguely speaking.

"If you really miss me that much - just go down and stay, I'm not bad~" Xu Qi narrowed his eyes and smiled, "It can still make you feel good."

I knew he would say that.He kept fantasizing about pushing me down.This may have been listed by him as "one of the dreams that cannot be realized-the last old attack".

"You are so soft that you still don't forget to pretend." I clasped his slender waist slightly, and I felt his trembling visibly through the tense muscles.

"What are you doing with so much effort!" He patted me with his paw, "There are more men with better bodies out there, so I'm very happy."

"It's important to pay more attention to your body." I don't want to write "same-sex woman died unexpectedly" in the morning paper.It's scary to think about it.

I buried my head on his chest, clasped his waist with both hands and lifted it up, kissing his collarbone and chest, leaving red marks one after another with the sound of water stains from saliva.

I don't really want to merge with Xu Qi without restraint, okay a little bit.But it's more of a feeling of unease - if you don't get used to it now, you won't have a chance later.

I took a deep breath, took off his snow-white hospital gown, and saw that his thin white arms were as thin as skimmed fat.

"Fu Yan, you smell so fresh of mint." Xu Qi took a few deep breaths.

"The smell of disinfectant here is too bad, so use mint-flavored laundry detergent to wash clothes." I kissed him and pressed my index finger into the groin.

Xu Qi snorted, hugged my neck tightly, put my waist between two long legs, and said inarticulately: "You lie... on it, I want to sit on it... come on. "

Since he wants to, I am naturally willing to accompany him.

Just as I was lying on the bed, gently placed Xu Qi on my abdomen, and helped him to sit up, the door of Room 071 was rudely opened.

Almost at the same time as the door lock was unlocked, I flipped my body over, let Xu Qi lie on the bed, and sat on the edge of the bed in a panic.

The door just opened completely.

Standing at the door was a woman with a plump figure and an expressionless face.

"Doctor Fu, the director told you to come over." Li Na looked at me with the same warm smile as before.

But it always feels different.

I can only look at him for comfort, and I hope he's not too upset.

I am so incompetent.

I took the clean white gloves from Li Na and walked out of 071.

Li Na's face was covered with lights, so she couldn't see her face clearly.

The dean's office.

I knock on the door.

"Please come in."

I pushed open the heavy birch door, only to find not only Qu Yebai inside, but also a woman exuding fragrance.

He looks benevolent, but the huge black mask on his face keeps people away thousands of miles away.At first glance, it looks like a powerful person. This kind of person is usually the most oppressive, and it is annoying anyway.

"Fu Yan, this is Mrs. Wang, Zheng Yiran's mother."

I look at her.

Her eyes stared at me fiercely, and her tone was harsh: "What about still?"

I was speechless.

Qu Yebai is a damned person, so you don't have to worry about it?

Seeing that I didn't answer, the woman cast her sharp eyes on Qu Yebai again: "Qu Yebai! You promised to treat her at the beginning, why did you abandon her now! This is how this hospital deceives the patients' families!" The woman posted Her voice was muffled while wearing a mask, but Howe didn't affect her anger.

"And you," the woman stretched out her index finger, pointing at my face, "You are still the attending surgeon, so it's impossible to let things go like this!"

I shrugged slightly.

It's not out of my control either.

"Madam, I hope you can understand that all of this is inevitable." Qu Yebai raised an elegant smile.

"First of all, I only promised to treat my daughter, but I didn't promise to be cured or not to give up. She had three unsuccessful operations, and she was useless.

Second, this is not a hospital, but a research institute, and there is no deception.

Finally, you came here by yourself, right?Mr. Zheng should know nothing about your private welcome, right? "

Qu Yebai crossed his gloved hands, his fingers were slender, and the corners of his lips were drawn out without changing his expression.

The pale black eyes were calm.

"Madam Wang Jingting, I respect you as my elder, please understand me.

Walk slowly, I won't see you off. "

"Very good, Qu Yebai, you really know how to make things up!" The woman gritted her teeth, "My daughter! Is she your experiment? Qu Yebai, you want to die, do you dare to talk to me like that!"

"How dare you."

"Just wait to get out of here! Let me tell you," the woman approached him, leaning on the desk with her hands, and said word by word, "As long as you get out of here, I will make you remember how damn you really are. "

"Thank you for your help."

My ears hurt when the birch fell.

"Qu Yebai, you called me here just to watch the show?"

"It's just to repay you for warming my bed last time." Qu Yebai squinted his eyes and smiled like a cat stealing.

I looked at him indifferently, "Shut your mouth tightly!"

"I didn't talk nonsense, why are you angry?" He tilted his head and laughed at me.

I thought of Xu Qi's weak face covered in cold sweat, and I just wanted to go back to 071 quickly.

"Are you thinking about your bamboo horse again?" Qu Yebai leaned on the soft black sofa. "The number 071? HIV-infected patient?"

"Get out! If you want to talk about him, shut up now!" I was very upset.

"I just mentioned him a little bit. After all, he is a patient and you are a doctor." He tapped his index finger and looked at me.

"There's nothing wrong with caring about bamboo horses."

"Fu Yan, 071 is just an HIV patient. If he doesn't find anything in the experiment, he is doomed to be abandoned. Those who are useless can only be abandoned."

"No matter what happens to him, I will definitely cure him!"

"But he doesn't seem to be doing well, and you always seem to go to him. You always go to him."

"So what?"

"Fu Yan, warm my bed again."

I turned cold all of a sudden, "reason."

"Life for life, Fu Yan, Wang Jingting didn't dare to show off my prestige because of my superiors, but you have nothing, she will still find you. Don't be afraid, what should 071 do?

Now, either die or warm me up again. "He smiled, as if he knew that I would never get away with it.

I really can't help it.

I didn't know that I couldn't escape tonight until the warm heat lingered in front of my eyes.

I looked at Qu Yebai who was wiping his hair with a white towel, and unbuttoned the medical clothes I had fastened to my collarbone.

Then expose the body.