Institute diary

"Come up." Qu Yebai patted the soft bed lightly, and pulled down the front collar of the bathrobe.

I frowned slightly and lay down on the bed without saying a word.

It feels weird.

I always feel like a dog. When someone pats your butt and pats your head, you have to wag your tail and beg for mercy.

Nausea.

I crawled under the dean and panted silently, exposing a large area of ​​my body.

I felt him reach out and grab the back of my head, and then his cold lips brushed over and began to bite.

I grabbed his hair tightly and lifted his head up, "Qu Yebai! Get off!" I raised my right leg and kicked him hard on the waist, wiping my mouth viciously.

"Are you courting death?" I grabbed my clothes and sat on the edge of the bed.

He shrugged his shoulders indifferently, and said as if it made a lot of sense: "What are you doing with such a big reaction, and I didn't want to do anything to you. Or are you having an affair with your bamboo horse?"

"I have a mental cleanliness, please be careful." I warned him with a livid face, "Be careful, I don't know how to shoot."

"It really hurts." Qu Yebai rubbed his waist and complained.

I got dressed and ignored him.

"Fu Yan——, you must not choose the wrong path." He reminded me behind my back. "After all, you have been here for several years. We are subordinates of the boss, and we are brothers. I am doing it for your own good."

"You still pray that I won't tell your family about this!" I replied coldly, and put on my work medical clothes.

Qu Yebai's face turned pale all of a sudden.

Deserve it.

"Ah, it's not paying..."

"Bam—"

Room 071.

I quietly pushed open the door of the ward of No. 071, and the person on the bed had already fallen asleep peacefully.

I stood by the bed, my eyes tracing his outline.

"doctor."

I don't want to talk to her.Women are the most annoying thing.

"Doctor." Li Na yelled again, "Tomorrow you have a lot of operations to counsel, so you should go to bed early." She gave me a shawl, and said, "Tomorrow there will be the first operation of 071, and Doctor Fu will preside over it?"

"...Hmm." Who else could it be besides me?

I closed the door and watched the light in the room disappear little by little, and finally completely covered Xu Qi's face.

***

"Xu Qi, have you talked?" I dragged him, running so fast that my breathing became disordered.

Xu Qi didn't struggle, just kept his head down and didn't speak.

I understood a little bit at once.

"who is it?"

He pretended to be dumb.

I was so angry that I strangled his shoulder and forced him to look at me. I almost wanted to strangle his neck and strangle him to death.

"Answer who I am! Xu Qi, what do you think I am? A dog you play with? Don't you know how I treat you! Why the hell didn't you tell me!"

"I didn't want to tell you, I..." He couldn't speak.

I felt weak all over, but my hand tightened a little bit, "Xu Qi, why did you tell everyone but not me? Is it because I'm not important to you at all?"

"is not it?"

Xu Qi raised his head and said word by word, "Fu Yan, are we the best bamboo horses?"

"Bamboo horse, how can you be a lover?"

…………

Thinking about it now, I still can't let it go. At that time Xu Qi treated me like a bamboo horse, but I wanted to swallow him.

It's no wonder that he couldn't even be friends in the end, and Xu Qi finally left that city.

I imagined Xu Qi holding Duan Xiaowan's hand, walking on the bridge flowing with the river, the wind curled their hair together, and they laughed together.

It turned out that he should be better off without me.

But if this is the case, I will definitely peel Duan Xiaowan alive and then cook Xu Qi.

I can't give him this kind of romance, the romance that allows him to show his masculinity in front of girls.

But I love him very much.The kind of love that hurts so much.

I scratched my hair in distress.

I'm really worried about Xu Qi's condition. The virus is fine, and the technology is getting better and better, but HIV is not so easy to treat successfully.Maybe it's impossible to succeed at all!

I was thinking back to the previous scenes, and suddenly and unexpectedly found that Xu Qi is the only one I am now.

As for Xu Qi, at least there are his parents.

***

"Dad, where's Mom?"

"She has something to do and can't come back for the time being."

"Mom, why don't you come back?"

"Little Fu Yan, my mother has important things to do, and she won't be back for a long time. You study well, and you will be able to see her in the future."

"Long time, how long?"

"...Probably, you become...a doctor."

***

"Officer, may I ask what happened to my father?"

"What's your father's name?"

"Fu Jiake."

"Oh he, he has the virus, he is a patient, and has been sent to the research institute."

"Will you come back?"

"If you succeed, you will come back."

…………

"He's Fu Jiake's son, right?"

"Just look at it, it's not an adult yet."

"That's really pitiful. I heard that his father had some shady virus earlier and was sent to the research institute."

"Yeah, his mother seems to have been sent there before, right?"

"Isn't that right? It's said that he committed suicide not long after entering. Hey, let me tell you, that place is said to be corrupt, especially women, and they will be punished by that."

"It seems that there is such a thing."

"This child is only so old and he is alone. It's so pitiful."

"It's really pitiful, how miserable a person is."

…………

I curled up beside the trash can on the road with my whole body cold, and circled myself into a small circle.

"I... am not pitiful, I am... not... pitiful..." I was buried in the small circle exuding decay, tears blurring my pain in those years, my vulnerability.

But now, apart from picking up my former self-esteem and broken dreams, I can only bury them deeply.

***

"Little Fu Yan, what do you want to do when you grow up?"

"Well—of course, of course...like my mother, as a teacher..."

"Well, to be a people's teacher, to teach children in an ordinary way. Haha, I will be very happy for the rest of my life."

……

However, all of this can no longer be labeled as "once" or "delusional"...