say love

"It's okay, I can do it myself." Shen Yan shook his head, "You need time to think about it."

"I will think about it carefully when I go back, but right now I still have to take you home, after all, I brought you out today."

"Okay." Du Zichen was very persistent, so Shen Yan didn't insist, he just rubbed his aching temples with his hands.

Seeing Shen Yan's actions, Du Zichen subconsciously felt a little nervous, "Ah Yan, do you have a headache again?"

Shen Yan waved his hands, stood up and prepared to leave with Du Zichen, at this moment, the waiter came over to stop him, "Gentlemen, that..."

The two of them remembered the broken cup at the same time, and Du Zichen scolded: "Fuck, when Nass left, he didn't even know to pay for the cup, Grandet."

"Forget it, I guess he can't take care of it anymore." Shen Yan was very easy to talk, and then asked Du Zichen: "Is the lady who helped you just now still there?"

After getting an affirmative answer, he said to the waiter: "You can order another Mont Blanc cake for me, and I will give it to the lady after we leave in a while, and pay with the coffee cup."

After paying the money, Du Zichen supported Shen Yan and slowly walked out of the coffee shop, while Ji Xiaoxiao, who was working and paying attention to the movement, received Shen Yan's cake a few minutes later, a little surprised and a little emotional.

The two were silent all the way. Four or ten minutes later, Shen Yanren was already sitting on the sofa at home, and when Du Zichen was about to leave, Shen Yan seemed to suddenly remember something, and opened his mouth and said, "Zichen, if possible, you should pay more attention to it recently. Xiaomei."

"Xiaomei? Are you afraid that she will be cheated by Li Tianqiang?"

"It's hard to say. Although Xiaomei doesn't like him, I'm still afraid that she will be used."

"Is it the same as this time? This Li Tianqiang, when did we offend him? What the hell is he trying to do?" When Li Tianqiang was mentioned, Du Zichen became a little mad, "You really shouldn't have stopped me just now, let me beat that idiot first A meal is fine."

"Li Tianqiang is a despicable villain. He must have come here intentionally to embarrass us." Shen Yan put his hand on his chin while talking, but he was thinking in his heart: Du Zichen is really such a kind and straightforward person. .

At this moment, Shen Yan felt that the sofa beside him suddenly sank, and Du Zichen, who was about to leave, sat down instead.

"Ah Yan, I still can't figure it out. I can't figure out when we offended that villain Li Tianqiang, and I can't figure out why you are so good." Du Zichen's voice seemed a little stuffy.

"About Li Tianqiang, he said that he has liked Xiaomei since high school, but Xiaomei has gotten along with you."

"Fuck, okay, that's a reason, what about you, how did you offend him?"

"I..." Shen Yan put down the cup in his hand, closed his eyes and leaned back on the sofa pillow, his face became paler, and his long and thick eyelashes cast a shadow under his eyes.

"I... because of Chen Wenchuan."

"Isn't Chen Wenchuan friends with him?"

"Friend?" Shen Yan repeated these two words in his mouth, with a slight sarcasm on his face, "Maybe."

Shen Yan's expression made Du Zichen a little puzzled, "Ayan, what happened between you and Chen Wenchuan?"

"What could it be? At that time, puppy love was not allowed, let alone our kind? It's just those old, vulgar stories."

"But it's been several years, what did Li Tianqiang smoke to stimulate you?"

"I guess the trigger is because Chen Wenchuan did call him, and the second is because Xiaomei broke up with you, and we are good friends, so he might wish we could have a good fight."

Although there are still some key points that I don't want to understand, I have to say that most of Shen Yan's guesses about Li Tianqiang are correct.

"We broke up, what does it have to do with him? Damn, it's a typical way of hurting others. This person is too vicious. We should see him and beat him up once in the future." Du Zichen's eyes almost flew up.

"You still want to beat someone up? After this time, we won't have much contact with him again." Facing Du Zichen's straightforwardness, Shen Yan was helpless, "Besides, I think he really wants to see us betrayed. "

After saying this, the two fell silent again, Shen Yan's sexual orientation was an inescapable problem between them after all.

Du Zichen actually wanted to know what happened between Shen Yan and Chen Wenchuan. Although he had a straight temper, he was not stupid. He could see that Shen Yan had been avoiding the important and the trivial, avoiding the topic of Chen Wenchuan, but he didn't Dare to ask again.

And because of the environment and personality, even with Du Zichen's friend since childhood, Shen Yan is more used to using a self-deprecating tone to cover up his true emotions, but he doesn't know how to confide in others.

After a long time, Du Zichen carefully broke this silent and depressing silence, "It's nothing, I'm leaving."

Shen Yan nodded heavily, but still didn't say anything more.

After Du Zichen left, Shen Yan sat on the sofa for a long time before getting up and taking out a bottle of white wine from the small cabinet in front of the window.Due to physical reasons, he doesn't drink well, and he doesn't usually drink alcohol, but today, he hopes to use alcohol to anesthetize himself.

After drinking a glass of wine with his head raised, Shen Yan touched the long and deep scar on his left wrist with his right hand again, and fell into his own memories.

Chen Wenchuan, how long has it been since I thought of this name, or force myself not to think of this name.

I think Du Zichen asked him before the hospital bed why he remembered to cut his wrists after being blind for a year.

How did he answer?At that time, he told Du Zichen that it was because he couldn't bear to live in darkness from now on, but in fact he lied.

He was because of Chen Wenchuan, because of Chen Wenchuan's merciless abandonment.

Shen Yan still remembered that he met Chen Wenchuan at the freshman basketball game. Chen Wenchuan was once a man of the hour in No. [-] Middle School of S City, and he was excellent in all aspects.

After a basketball season, they became very familiar with each other. Shen Yan began to have a different feeling towards him, which was different from that of Du Zichen, and he could see that Chen Wenchuan seemed to have a different feeling towards him.

Although, as the chairman of the student union at the time, Chen Wenchuan was not the kind of person who talked too much, but put all his concerns into actions: warm water handed over when he was thirsty, tutorial books that happened to be needed, Casual mention...

At that time, he was very contradictory. On the one hand, he was full of yearning for this kind of feeling, but on the other hand, he felt that this kind of feeling was wrong.He guarded this secret carefully, hoping to keep it until the day he was able to bear it.

However, he didn't wait for that day, but the accident happened first. He got into a car accident and lost his sight.

After he came out of the ICU, he lost all thoughts, even the desire to live, but when he thought he would never see Chen Wenchuan again, he came here.

For Shen Yan, who was only 16 years old at the time, after he lost his sight and his parents gave up on him, the company of Chen Wenchuan once brought him so much hope, and finally brought him so much despair.

If Chen Wenchuan just proposed to break up, Shen Yan really felt that it was nothing. He didn't like it anymore, he didn't need it anymore, and if there were differences, it was normal to break up. Especially at that time, he was already blind, and he was already prepared in his heart. Let it go, even if Chen Wenchuan said it directly, or walked away quietly, he would accept it calmly, but in the end, Chen Wenchuan chose the most embarrassing way for him, and left a letter to Shen Yan's parents.

It was only when his mother slapped Chen Wenchuan's letter on his face that he knew that Chen Wenchuan had gone abroad, and before going abroad, he wrote the so-called "humiliating" letter to his parents. All his hopes, his father's cynicism, and his mother's crazy insults and beatings made him finally choose to give up his life in despair.

If the knife had been cut deeper that day, or if no one had entered the bathroom in the middle of the night, then everything would have ended long ago.

The author has something to say: Well, the scar on Xiaoyan's children's shoes is explained clearly.