say love

It was such a dark and hopeless day. Although his life was saved again, Shen Yan felt that his heart had been dead since that day. To him, for the next three years or so, he seemed like a Like a walking dead, just living to live.

And after that time, Shen Yan's parents also said that they gave his life and he owed it to them, so he couldn't help himself to take his life, every day of his life was to pay off the debt, In order to repay the debt between parents.

It's just that I don't know when this debt will be paid off?One year or two, or three or five years, how long can I last?

As he drank one glass of wine after another, Shen Yan's face became paler and paler. He began to hug his knees tightly with his arms, then slowly curled himself up into a ball, and finally buried his head between his legs.

It was getting late, and there was a light rain outside the house. The rain in October made the air cold and damp, not depressing, and Shen Yan in the room fell into a half-dream and half-awake under the anesthesia of alcohol.

But at this moment, he was not stable, as if he had had a long, long dream.

The beginning of the dream was the day when he entered the freshman year of high school. He and Du Zichen finished reporting in the morning, and then ran to the basketball court to step on the spot in the afternoon. Then, among a group of people, he saw Chen Wenchuan at a glance. Shuai, at that time, he also asked Du Zichen: "I don't know if you are better than him, which one of you is better at basketball?"

Immediately afterwards, the screen changed to what happened during the freshman basketball game.

"Well, senior, hello. My name is Shen Yan. I'm in Class One (One) Senior. You play basketball really well." Shen Yan looked at himself in his dream, and at that time his face was full of shyness and fear. adoring gaze.

Ah, I remembered, it was an afternoon, there was no competition in their class, Du Zichen and Xiaomei went out on a date secretly, he ran to the competition field of Class [-] ([-]) of high school alone, and became Chen Wenchuan's fan for a while, Among a group of familiar classmates, he might be quite conspicuous, so after the end, Chen Wenchuan found him, and they officially got to know each other.

"Why are you so careless? You need to rest well if you twist your foot while playing. If there are any sequelae, it will be troublesome." Chen Wenchuan's slightly anxious face suddenly appeared in front of his eyes.

What time is this again?It's a four-to-three competition, Shen Yan thought in his dream, he cared about me at that time, accompanied me to the infirmary, and brought me breakfast in the next few days.

Then the scene suddenly shifted to the small woods on the west side of the school, and it was still Chen Wenchuan's face, this time with a smile and comfort on his face: "Why are you in a daze here? The monthly exam is not the college entrance exam, and there are still many opportunities. , I think this tutorial book is good, and it should be helpful to you."

"Scientists say that eating is a miracle cure for depression, stress and tension. Come on, let's dry this bucket of chicken nuggets and chips together." This is before the midterm exam.

"Tomorrow we will go to the library to read, and then take you to relax in the afternoon."

"How to relax?" asked that silly self.

"There is a game hall on the top floor of the Pearl Building next to the library. We can go there to play games when we are tired after finishing homework and reading."

That's right, during the winter vacation in the first year of high school, I spent most of my time in the library and game hall. It was also at that time that I gave my first kiss. In the dream, Shen Yan seemed to be able to feel the tenderness between his lips. Warm, a smile flashed across his face in an instant.

"Let's go to W City to see the sea together during the summer vacation. I bought a tent, and you come to buy sleeping bags and camp lights. It's very exciting to think about camping by the sea."

"Okay, my dad said that after the exam, he would take me to the suburbs first. This is the first time my dad took me out to play, and we can go to W City together when we come back."

……

Where is this dark place?

"Chen Wenchuan, I'm blind and disabled, and I may never be able to see or move again."

"No, it's all temporary. Besides, I still have me. If you really can't see, after your fracture is healed, we will learn Braille together. I don't believe it. Two masters, Braille can be done in minutes. "

"Shen Yan, you believe in me, I will not give up on you, one day, your health will get better, and we can overcome all difficulties together."

"Today I will read "The Little Prince" to you, Once when I wassix years old..."

"My voice is not good, but your voice is good. You can be an announcer in the future."

……

"Shen Yan, you really embarrass me, I don't have a son like you." In the dream, the fucking voice suddenly sounded.

"Look, look, what is said in the letter, people say that they treat you as a classmate and friend, but you have some 'unspeakable' thoughts towards them, and do things that people can't understand. The act of acceptance, let us discipline you well, lest you make a wrong step, and end up with a broken body and a broken mind..."

"What crime did I do, to have a messy husband and give birth to such a shameless son like you, you are a scum just like your father."

"I regret it in the end. I should have strangled you when I gave birth to you. You pervert, why don't you die?" After these words, there was also deep pain.

Shen Yan, who was still half asleep and half awake, frowned, it hurts so much, Mom, can you stop pinching me?

……

"Do you think people can die a hundred times? You are my son, and you will never pay back what you owe me all your life." It sounds like his father's voice.

"Shen Yan, once I saw you, I wanted to strangle you to death, but now I understand that the more miserable you and that scum are, the happier I am, so son, if you want to help mother, you don't want to I'm not happy, so you can't die, you have to live honestly, this is what you owe me."

"This is what you owe us!"

"No, it's not like that, I don't owe..." Shen Yan shouted loudly, waking up from the nightmare all of a sudden, his head was covered in cold sweat, his heart was pounding continuously like someone with a hammer, making him curl up in pain on the bed.

It has been more than three years since Chen Wenchuan appeared in front of him for the last time. In the past few years, Shen Yan has always tried his best to control himself, trying not to think about that person and the past that happened because of his departure. Shen Yan, who woke up from the dream, found that those seemingly trivial and insignificant things had taken root in his heart. Every time he thought about it, he seemed to want to pull these roots out of his body. Pulled out, with traces of blood.

Why, I know that one day you will leave, and I have even imagined the scene when you leave thousands of times in my heart, maybe it is reluctance, maybe it is regret, or even tired and silent, but only I never thought it would be so decisive, you not only humiliated me, but also threw me away like trash, Chen Wenchuan, why did you do this?

Mom and Dad, why should I bear your faults because I am your son? Could it be that my existence is to remind you how wrong you were at the beginning? You put all your hatred for each other on On me, why do you do this?

"Why, why, why..." In the middle of this late autumn night, Shen Yan kept asking, tears streaming down his face.

The author has something to say: I suddenly want to change to the old Gong...