you are with the light

When Chen Ke faced Chen Wanran again, he was able to stabilize his emotions so as not to make himself look too sad.It's just that he was still silent on the way back, and Gu Jinbei was on the side, not bothering him.

When they arrived at the hotel, Chen Ke lay down on the bed and fell asleep.He didn't sleep last night, Gu Jinbei knew, but he pretended to be asleep and pretended to know nothing.

After the two bought the train tickets for tomorrow, Gu Jinbei began to pack his things.Halfway through the knock on the door, he opened it and saw that it was Liu Man.

Gu Jinbei didn't recognize him at first, until Liu Man called him: "Gu Jinbei!" The familiar tone made him suddenly understand.

He stood at the door, afraid of disturbing Chen Ke, so he came out and closed the door, and asked Liu Man, "What's wrong?"

Liu Man said, "I heard that you got into a fight because of me."

When it came to this matter, Gu Jinbei felt dizzy. He wanted to say that I didn't have it, I just wanted to beat him and it had nothing to do with you, but he didn't say anything in the end, just nodded.

Liu Man sighed: "Then don't do this in the future, I'm not worth it."

Such words came out of Liu Man's mouth, making Gu Jinbei unable to say a word for a long time.He looked at Liu Man, he looked young, but his heart was wrinkled for some reason.She made Gu Jinbei feel strange for a moment, so strange that he didn't want to say a word to her.

"This is the last time I will see you." Liu Man said, she stroked her hair, "I wish you good luck."

When Chen Ke woke up, it was already dark. He didn't react for a moment, and asked Gu Jinbei: "Is it dark?"

"It's dark. Are you hungry? Let's go out to eat."

The two went downstairs to find a noodle shop for dinner.After dinner, the two went to the river for a walk.

The fence by the river has been built, and Chen Ke is leaning on the railing, the wind blowing his hair.

Gu Jinbei also leaned on the railing and turned his head to look at him. Chen Ke felt it and turned his head to look back at him.The two looked at each other for a while, then Chen Ke turned his head back again: "Don't look at me."

"En." Although Gu Jinbei responded like this, he didn't turn his head back.He looked at Chen Ke, kept seeing Chen Ke and said, "Go back."

The two walked side by side, Gu Jinbei really wanted to say something to Chen Ke.This kind of feeling swells in his heart every day, and he really wants to tell Chen Ke what he likes in his heart no matter what.

"I love you" turns out to be so difficult to say.

When the two walked back to the hotel, Chen Ke took out the key to open the door, and heard Gu Jinbei say, "I like you."

His hand trembled, and the key fell out of his hand, making a crisp sound in the quiet air.

He froze for a moment, and soon, he bent down to pick up the key, and then heard Gu Jinbei say: "I like you."

This time he was mentally prepared, the key did not fall from his hand, but his heart was shaking.

Gu Jinbei's heart was also shaking.

He saw Chen Ke pick up the key from the ground coldly and opened the door.He nervously followed Chen Ke into the room, and said the third time he said today: "I like you."

Chen Ke looked at him and slowly smiled at him.This smile was no different from before, but at this moment Gu Jinbei felt a surge of fear in his heart.

"I like you too." Chen Ke said, "Isn't it natural for elder brother to like younger brother? What are you worried about?"

This is not the answer Gu Jinbei hoped for. He thought that Chen Ke would reject him, but he didn't want an answer that was just brotherhood.

He didn't want to follow this step and end the courage he had worked so hard to muster today.

"It's not that kind of liking." Gu Jinbei took a deep breath, "No younger brother would like his elder brother enough to fall in love with him."

Chen Ke said: "You're too young, it's normal to have this kind of impulse..."

"But I only have impulses towards you." Gu Jinbei replied quickly.

At first he was reserved and shy, but later Chen Ke's words annoyed him.Chen Ke doesn't admit his feelings, doesn't treat him as a man, and always feels that he is still a poor baby bird, who can only survive under the protection of Chen Ke's wings.

Chen Ke was choked by him and didn't know what to say for a while.He seemed to want to argue again, but he felt that he had nothing to say when he opened his mouth, so he could only say, "Didn't you have a girlfriend before?"

These words were light, but they fell on Gu Jinbei's heart with an unusually heavy weight.He looked at Chen Ke, and for the first time, he had the urge to go back to the past and wake up his stupid self.

"I, I just felt that I was not right at the time and wanted to correct myself, so... I broke up with her soon." Gu Jinbei said in a hurry, "I, I..."

He suddenly looked at Chen Ke, carefully saying every word, "Do you think I'm a pervert?"

If Chen Ke said he was, then he would definitely cry for Chen Ke to see.What kind of man doesn't flick his tears easily? If he wasn't a man, why would it be so difficult to like Chen Ke?

"No." Chen Ke said, "You are not."

He sighed, trying to get rid of the topic: "Go to bed early, we have to drive tomorrow."

Gu Jinbei said, "I can't sleep."

"Even if you reject me, you have to tell me so that I can sleep peacefully."

Chen Ke avoided Gu Jinbei's gaze: "Go to sleep, it's getting late, what's the matter, let's talk about it another day." As he said this, he went to get his clothes. Gu Jinbei stepped forward and grabbed him Chen Ke's hand was very cold, he looked at Gu Jinbei with fear and pleading in his eyes: "Let's go another day, okay?"

Gu Jinbei was stabbed by his gaze, and even let go of his hands: "Okay, okay." He took two steps back, his eyes still fell on Chen Ke.

Chen Ke never looked at him again.

When Gu Jinbei came out of the shower, Chen Ke lay on his side on the bed, as if he had fallen asleep.

Gu Jinbei walked to the bed, blocked the light, and cast his shadow on Chen Ke's body. Chen Ke's eyelashes trembled.

Gu Jinbei couldn't help stretching out his hand.

Gu Jinbei felt itchy when the eyelashes touched his fingers.He touched Chen Ke's mouth from Chen Ke's eyelashes. He remembered the dimple at the corner of Chen Ke's mouth, and he also remembered the small mole under Chen Ke's lip.

Chen Ke's eyelashes trembled more and more, and finally he opened his eyes.

I don't know if it was because he was caught too many times, so Gu Jinbei not only didn't panic this time, he didn't even take his hand back.

Chen Ke said, "Hand."

Gu Jinbei withdrew his hand reluctantly.

Chen Ke turned around and turned his back to Gu Jinbei. Gu Jinbei stood beside the bed for a while before saying, "Can I still sleep with you?"

Chen Ke felt that this person was really shameless, and if it was him, he would definitely not be able to ask such shameless words.But when he turned his head and saw Gu Jinbei's little aggrieved expression, he suddenly realized that he was not used to this person's shamelessness.

"Go to sleep." He finally compromised.

Gu Jinbei got permission and finally moved the shadow away.He lifted the quilt and moved to Chen Ke's side with ease. Chen Ke moved to the side, and he moved next to him. Chen Ke said, "Don't squeeze me."

Gu Jinbei said, "Okay."

His promise was like a blank check, it had no effect at all, Chen Ke was a little annoyed by him, so he said: "If you squeeze again, I will sleep in that bed."

Gu Jinbei stopped this time.

Chen Ke breathed a sigh of relief, before he heard Gu Jinbei say, "I can't sleep."

His inability to fall asleep must involve the phrase "I like you", Chen Ke said: "Then don't sleep, I'll sleep for a while, don't disturb me."

"Okay." Gu Jinbei should be obedient, and when Chen Ke closed his eyes and fell asleep, he stretched out his hand to hold Chen Ke in his arms.

Very shameful.

He evaluated himself like this, but he hugged Chen Ke very peacefully.He even felt a little flattered, because Chen Ke didn't say anything bad, and let him lie on the same bed with him, which showed that he might not be alone in his unrequited love.

Gu Jinbei thought affectionately, maybe Chen Ke also likes him.

After returning, Chen Ke forgot this incident as if he had lost his memory, just like the night he had forgotten.Gu Jinbei asked him, and he pretended to be stupid. At the end of the question, Gu Jinbei even lost his initial embarrassment and hesitation. Say it again: "I like you."

Chen Ke would lose his memory every day.

Gu Jinbei talked for a long time, and Chen Ke almost lost his temper.Chen Ke is invulnerable to swords and guns, oil and salt, and hides in his own shell, hoping to escape for a lifetime.

Until Gu Jinbei told him: "I want to work in a factory during summer vacation."

In the past, Gu Jinbei was very sticky to Chen Ke, and wished he could grow up on him and follow him every day, but now he took the initiative to say that he wanted to separate from him, and Chen Ke didn't react for a while.

"I think I forced you too hard. You need time to think about it. After you think about it, you think it's okay. When I come back, promise me, okay?"

Chen Ke can't refuse him, he can refuse his heart, but he can't refuse Gu Jinbei's request: "Okay."

Gu Jinbei had only left for a few days, and Chen Ke missed him a little.He always felt a little empty in his heart at night, tossing and turning, unable to fall asleep, and when he finally fell asleep, he was able to go to Gu Jinbei and say, "I like you."

It woke him up again.

His poor sleep reflected directly on his haggard face.Meng Dujiang was a little surprised when he met him: "What's wrong with you recently? You look very pale."

Chen Ke rubbed his head: "I'm tired."

"Why are you tired?" Meng Dujiang laughed, "What else can make you tired?"

Chen Ke glanced at him: "Forget it, you don't understand either."

Meng Dujiang couldn't hear this: "What do you mean I don't understand? I know much more than you. Six years of food are not for nothing."

Chen Ke smiled perfunctorily.

Meng Dujiang saw that he didn't want to talk, so he stopped asking and asked him out for a drink instead.Chen Ke thought about it, it was not unreasonable for the ancients to use wine to relieve their worries, and it was not unreasonable to get drunk to relieve their worries.He went.

Meng Dujiang took him to the bar, and the noisy environment inside stimulated Chen Ke's nerves, causing him to drink too much accidentally.

Even if he drank too much, no one could see the difference, but his face was a little redder than usual.Meng Dujiang talked to him at the top of his voice, and he responded at the top of his voice. When the two of them got into the car, they were both a little not sober.

"You're driving drunk," Chen Ke said, leaning back against the back of the car, sighing in comfort, "You, arrogant."

"Don't panic, it's not a big problem." Meng Dujiang started the car, "It's okay to come here once in a while."

The car was driving on the empty road, and Chen Ke turned his head to watch the scene outside the window flash past his eyes, leaving only afterimages quickly.

"Why haven't you found a girlfriend yet?" Chen Ke asked him, "You shouldn't be too young."

"It's not too young." Meng Dujiang said, "I haven't met a suitable one yet."

He looked at Chen Ke when he said it, but Chen Ke only saw the scenery outside the window and didn't notice his gaze.

"Oh." Chen Ke nodded and didn't ask any more.

"What about you? You haven't met a suitable one either?" Meng Dujiang asked seemingly unintentionally.He was looking forward to Chen Ke's answer, but he was a little afraid of his answer. These two contradictory emotions were intertwined, which made him hold the steering wheel tightly.

"Me?" Chen Ke laughed, but then frowned, "I seem to..." He suddenly stopped talking, and the silence behind made Meng Dujiang scratch his heart. After waiting for a while, Meng Dujiang Ask: "Like what?"

Chen Ke didn't answer him, but reached out to him: "Give me a cigarette."

Meng Dujiang said: "Smoking less."

As he spoke, he still freed up one hand to hold a cigarette for Chen Ke.He actually admired Chen Ke's smoking. The cigarette was held in his bony hand, and the thin, long, twisted smoke curled up from the cigarette butt. The picture looked quite beautiful.

The owner of the hand is also very touching.

Chen Ke smoked one cigarette, then smoked a second one. He couldn't stop like he was chewing Xuanmai. He didn't get out of the car until he got home, and said goodbye to Meng Dujiang.

Meng Dujiang drove away without noticing that Chen Ke went to buy another bottle of liquor.

That night, relying on cigarettes and alcohol, Chen Ke had a bizarre dream.He dreamed that Gu Jinbei fell off the cliff, and he cried so hard that he suddenly heard Gu Jinbei calling him: "Brother Chen, help me." It turned out that Gu Jinbei grabbed a tree growing on the edge of the cliff. He stretched out his hand towards him, and Chen Ke leaned over to grab him.The moment he grabbed his hand, the branch finally couldn't support Gu Jinbei's weight and broke.

He fell down with Gu Jinbei due to inertia.

It only took a moment to fall, but the process in the middle was infinitely slowed down. Chen Ke could feel the wind blowing by his ears, and Gu Jinbei held him in his arms, and said against his ear: "I like you."

Then came the long, endless darkness.

Gu Jinbei endured it for several days, but on the ninth day, he still couldn't hold back and called Chen Ke.

Chen Ke's voice was a little hoarse, and Gu Jinbei's heart fluctuated with his voice: "Are you sick?"

Chen Ke didn't hide it from him: "Well, I have a small cold, and it will get better soon."

Gu Jinbei couldn't come to him, so he could only say: "Drink more hot water."

Chen Ke smiled: "Yeah." He rubbed his headache head, "I just took the medicine and wanted to sleep for a while, so I hung up first."

"Okay." Gu Jinbei put the phone next to his ear until he heard a beeping busy tone from inside.

Chen Ke put down his phone, pulled the quilt over his head, but couldn't sleep because of a headache.His throat was dry and sore, so he got up to pour water, and with a shake of his hand, the hot water sprinkled on the back of his hand without feeling any pain.

Chen Ke drank water and lay back on the bed again. This time it was okay, he fell asleep after a while, and he didn't have any messy dreams until he woke up.

The author has something to say: If there is no update at seven o'clock, there will be no update on the day