dizziness

Seeing that Owen gave up answering, Ruan Miaomiao just lowered his head in pain, and he couldn't help but take a step back. His eyes flickered, and his whole heart seemed to be empty.

He is not even half the age of Owen, and he has been studying and living in a regular manner since he was a child. The only thing he knows is oil painting. Although he knows that AIDS is a sexually transmitted disease and has heard that this disease is terrible, he never thought of it. , I only did it twice for the first time as a human resource, and it was implicated in this disease.

Ruan Miaomiao was flustered and confused.

"It's my fault...I shouldn't have forced you that night...It's all my fault..."

Owen buried his face in his cold hands, and didn't even dare to look at Ruan Miaomiao. He felt that he had ruined the child, and even more that he was a sinner.

Ruan Miaomiao looked at Owen's trembling body in astonishment. It all happened so suddenly that he couldn't believe it at all. He rushed over and took Owen's hand away, staring at the face full of fear.

"Are you sure you are infected?! Have you been to the hospital for an examination?!"

Owen was startled, opened Ruan Miaomiao's hand, and kept backing away as if seeing a ghost, shaking his head: "I don't want to go to the hospital...I don't want to have a test...I'm sure I'm infected! I must be infected!"

Hurriedly rushing to the computer, Owen pointed tremblingly at the words on it, his eyes filled with timidity: "Look! Did you see it?! It said that the initial symptoms were persistent low-grade fever... I have had two weeks in a row! I It must be infected... It must be infected..."

"How can you be sure that you are infected without a test?!" Ruan Miaomiao straightened Owen's body, ignoring the man's absent-minded muttering to himself. He only knew that everything would be hopeful if there was no diagnosis. "We did it too. Months passed and I had no symptoms at all! How can you think you have an infection just because you have a fever!"

"You don't know...the incubation period for this disease is very long...maybe you haven't arrived yet, maybe..." Owen suddenly looked up at Ruan Miaomiao and grabbed his arms, "Yes! Maybe you No infection! I, I don’t know when Ah Ling got this disease, just like you said! It’s been so long, maybe he got the disease after our incident! I just couldn’t get in touch with him recently ...yes...you must not be infected...you can't be infected...you are still so young..."

"If you can't contact him, how can you be sure when he got the disease! The only thing you can do now is to go for an examination as soon as possible. Only after the examination will you know whether you are infected or not!"

"I said I don't want to go to the hospital!"

Owen pushed Ruan Miaomiao away like crazy, and yelled at him almost insanely tortured: "You don't understand anything at all! You don't know how terrible this disease is! I checked the whole night! I... I will soon become very thin, like a mummy! Maybe I will fester all over my body! Watching my flesh fall off piece by piece... I don’t want to check! I don’t want to die! I don’t want to be told Become a monster with AIDS! I don't want it!"

Everything on the table was overturned by Owen on the ground, making a loud noise. Owen couldn't control his emotions at all, and smashed everything he saw, as if this was the only way to vent the horrible images in his mind. Torment is like someone choking your own throat, you can't see where this person is, and you can't resist, there is no other choice but a dead end.

Maybe what is really terrible about the disease is not the torture of the body, but the complete crushing of a person's soul. It just takes a very short time to turn a living life into a walking dead, complaining about the injustice of fate, distorting the original He even hated the whole world, and his dark thoughts seemed to gradually control Owen's entire being. A flash of thought made him want to rush into the street, infect everyone he saw, and let everyone get infected. This kind of disease, only in this way will he not be alone, and he will not become a different kind that everyone shuns away from.

Owen was terrified by such thoughts. Although it was only for a moment, it did make him forget the most basic human nature.

"Why me! Just once or twice...I've always been careful...Why me!"

Another vase shattered at Ruan Miaomiao's feet, the raised porcelain slices cut the back of his hand, blood dripped down the ground from his fingertips, but he didn't seem to feel any pain at all, just looked at Owen, looked at this The man who was so confident and strong in his impression collapsed step by step before his eyes, turning into a shell that lost his mind and soul.

Ruan Miaomiao was confused, listening to what Owen said, he was also very scared, his life had just begun, he had never experienced such a terrible experience, and he did not believe that fate was really so cruel, the man in front of him had collapsed, Ruan Miaomiao Zhi also can't bear it anymore, but everything is not really a foregone conclusion, is it?They may still have hope, how can they sentence themselves to death based on Owen's baseless delusions.

Yes, Owen is crazy, but he's not nearly there yet.

"Teacher Ou! Calm down and listen to me!"

Ruan Miaomiao yelled and hugged Owen's crazy body tightly, allowing him to struggle violently in his arms, and even punched and kicked himself, but he just tightened his arms.

"I don't want to listen! I don't want to listen to anything! Why do you do this to me! Why is it me! What did I do wrong, God wants to treat me like this! I don't want it! Don't, don't, don't!"

Owen cried out in despair, and struggled harder. Every punch he hit Ruan Miaomiao was so hard, Ruan Miaomiao groaned in pain, but still did not let go, and held Owen firmly with all his strength. With arms waving non-stop, he gritted his teeth and said, "Don't think about it alone! Calm down first, okay?"

"How do you want me to be calm! How can I be calm! You don't understand anything! It will kill people! And it will die miserably! There is no way to heal! I don't want to die like that! Yes! I would rather commit suicide than kill myself. Die like that! I can still kill myself! I can still..."

"Enough! Stop talking!"

Ruan Miaomiao slapped Owen across the face. Owen wanted to say something, but Ruan Miaomiao had already grabbed his jaw and bit his lips.

The electric shock-like feeling made Owen wake up suddenly, his eyes widened, and he began to struggle desperately in the next second, raising his leg in a panic and kicking Ruan Miaomiao in the abdomen, pushing him out forcefully.

"What are you doing! Are you crazy! You...you have no symptoms! Maybe you are not infected! You are not afraid..."

"What are you afraid of!" Ruan Miaomiao straightened up, enduring the severe pain in her abdomen, and shouted at Owen, "Someone said you were infected! It's all your own imagination! If you are really infected, then I will It's impossible to escape! What else is there to be afraid of! I really don't understand anything, I don't even know how to protect myself. If I wasn't forced by you, I might never have anything to do with this disease in my life. Have you ever thought about it? How do I feel? You haven’t been diagnosed yet, how can you irresponsibly say that you are infected! Do you think this is fair to me!”

Owen was stunned. It's not that he didn't think about Ruan Miaomiao's feelings, but he was really overwhelmed by fear.This child is still so young, and he should be unable to bear such a blow than himself, but at this moment, every word Ruan Miaomiao said seemed to hit his heart, and he found that this child was not as fragile as he seemed, but he , and not as powerful as imagined.

Ruan Miaomiao approached Owen and stared at him expressionlessly. Owen tried to hide in panic, but was grabbed by the arm.

"I know what you're afraid of. You're afraid of death, but I'm not afraid of being stumped? If it really becomes like that, at least I know I'm not alone, and so are you!"

Pulling Owen closer, Ruan Miaomiao covered his lips again.

The child's kiss was still as green as ever, but it seemed to carry some kind of power like light.

Owen's stiff body softened, and he didn't struggle anymore, but the corners of his eyes were moistened, and he couldn't tell whether it was because of fragility or fear.

The gentle kiss revealed a trace of warmth, which permeated Owen's limbs that had been icy cold all night, and he suddenly felt less cold.

Exhaustion and powerlessness swept towards Owen, he slipped from Ruan Miaomiao's arms, sat down on the ground dejectedly, and buried his head between his knees.

"I'm sorry...it's all my fault...I'm sorry..."

Owen's weak confession made Ruan Miaomiao suddenly feel that this man was so pitiful. He didn't speak, but just sat beside Owen and hugged his trembling shoulders.

"But... I don't want to die... I really don't want to... I'm so scared, I've never been so scared..."

Ruan Miaomiao leaned Owen's head on his shoulder, touched his sweaty black hair and nodded slightly. He understood Owen's feelings at the moment, because he was also afraid, until he felt his neckline was wet, and Ruan Miaomiao's vision began to change. Get blurred.

The two of them didn't speak any more, they just sat together in a mess all night, depending on each other.

Owen couldn't remember how he fell asleep. When he woke up, it was already daylight, and the arms around him were still as warm as before.

He probably will never forget the pair of clear eyes he met when he raised his head that day.

Looking at himself tenderly, he only said a word.

"Let's go for an examination, will you accompany me?"