dizziness

For the first time in his life, Owen really felt what it means to have the sky fall.

So suddenly, it's like someone pushed you hard from behind, making you fall into an endless abyss, and you didn't smash to pieces immediately, but you kept falling, kept falling, and you suffered the panic of weightlessness, and didn't dare to imagine the next second what happens.

The strength in Owen's whole body seemed to be emptied at once. He never thought that such a terrifying experience that only appeared on TV would happen to him.

He has savored life for decades, and even in a bar where fish and dragons are mixed together, he has never heard of anyone suffering from this disease.

This is the first time, but the object is someone who has a relationship with him.

Thinking of this, Owen seemed to wake up suddenly. He picked up the phone in a panic and called A Ling's name. There were countless rumors coming from places like bars, and the only thing he could do now was to ask A Ling for clarification.

But no one answered the phone, no matter how many times I called.

Owen's last glimmer of hope was completely extinguished.

Endless fear began to grow in his body, and the feeling of wanting to scream but being unable to make a sound almost turned into a pale torment.

AIDS.He is familiar with this word, but it is also close to the strangeness of extreme scarcity.

Turned on the computer like crazy, and started to search for this crashing word. At first, after the silence of silence, the madness of silence ushered in.

Owen's fingertips kept trembling. Among the tens of thousands of related information, his eyes didn't know where to look.

His mind was tightly packed with various pictures, and the chaotic consciousness began to torture his only sane mind.

Yes, although his private life is unrestrained, he has always paid attention to that aspect and has taken good protection measures. No matter how many condoms he has, he never leaves his body. Owen has never contracted any sexual diseases.

But between him and Ah Ling...

Owen was in a mess, he really can't remember, maybe it happened once or twice, but there was really only one or two times, and he couldn't control it.

Ruan Miaomiao's innocent face suddenly appeared in his mind, and Owen suddenly stopped scrolling the mouse. He didn't dare to look at it, let alone think about it. He lit a cigarette tremblingly, and took several puffs urgently, but he still couldn't calm down the restlessness thoughts.

The first time with Ruan Miaomiao did not know A Ling at that time, so there should be no problem. The second time, he saw Ruan Miaomiao put on the condom with his own eyes, but...they did it several times later that night. At that time, his consciousness was already blurred, and Owen really didn't know whether Ruan Miaomiao had brought it.

He was really scared, this kind of fear was more intense and cruel than just now.

That child is only 18 years old, and he still has such a long life to go. If he gets infected because of himself, what will he do in the future?

Owen slumped on the chair in a daze, he didn't think about himself, or anyone who had sex with him after A Ling, all he thought about was Ruan Miaomiao, that pure and beautiful young man.

It wasn't until the smoke between his fingers burned out and burned his fingers that Owen came back to his senses. He picked up his phone and looked at Ruan Miaomiao's name, but he couldn't press the call button. He didn't know how to speak, let alone imagine Ruan Miaomiao. What will become of knowing.

He was still so young, how could Ruan Miaomiao endure such cruelty, such a sad news that even people who had lived most of their lives heard the frightening news.

Owen has always been a conceited and proud person. He never thought that his willful actions would lead to such evil results.

Self-blame, regret, fear, guilt, these words that have nothing to do with him at all, seemed to be brutally poured into his body in just a moment.

Owen began to hate himself for not forcing Ruan Miaomiao that night. Perhaps what he hated more was Ruan Miaomiao's loss of control in the end, and even hated him for not appearing in his life, so maybe he would never meet A Ling, let alone because of Ruan Miaomiao and...

He was in a mess, confused and overwhelmed, he could only curl up into a ball, trembling constantly.

Owen knew it was dawn, but he still felt that the surroundings were pitch black. Even when the sun's rays were shining directly on him, Owen couldn't feel the warmth at all. His whole body was as cold and stiff as a heavy iceberg, and only AIDS was the only thing that sealed him. Two words, and Ruan Miaomiao's precarious figure standing on the shore can be vaguely seen.

I don’t know how long it has passed, but I feel that every minute and every second is like a long century. The sharp doorbell rang next to my ears. Owen was startled, but he didn’t move for a long time. Then the phone started to vibrate. Owen saw it. At first glance, it was Ruan Miaomiao who called, but he didn't dare to answer it, knowing that Ruan Miaomiao should be standing outside now.

The doorbell rang a few more times, as if fate was kicking the door. Owen felt that the person standing outside the door was not an angel like Ruan Miaomiao at all, but a devil who came to take his life, but he had to open the door.

When Ruan Miaomiao saw Owen in the crack of the door, he couldn't help being startled, but before he could see Owen clearly, he turned around, walked to the sofa and sat down, picked up the unfinished cigarette, and stared at the ashtray motionlessly.

The room was filled with the pungent smell of smoke. Ruan Miaomiao looked at the man in front of him with a strange expression and a haggard face, and couldn't believe his eyes. It was just that he hadn't come for a day. He felt that Owen had completely changed a person. It's strange, even a little pitiful.

Ruan Miaomiao didn't know what happened to make this high-spirited man lose his original appearance, but an ominous premonition began to spread.

"Teacher Ou."

Ruan Miaomiao approached him uneasily, and as soon as he touched Owen's hand, he was dodged in a panic.

"Don't touch me..."

Owen's voice trembled violently, and the volume was surprisingly low. When Ruan Miaomiao saw him like this, his heart tightened, knowing that something must have happened.

"Teacher Ou, what's the matter with you, what happened?" Ruan Miaomiao asked cautiously, but Owen stayed away from him when he saw him approaching.

Glancing at Ruan Miaomiao from the corner of his eye, Owen said hoarsely, "You...you were wearing a condom that night..."

Ruan Miaomiao frowned in confusion, and before he realized what Owen meant, he saw Owen staring at him with violently trembling pupils.

"You have it... You have it for the next few times, right?"

"Teacher Ou, what's the matter?" I don't understand why Owen suddenly asked this, seeing the eagerness in his eyes, Ruan Miaomiao was even more confused.

As soon as Owen opened Ruan Miaomiao's hand, he stood up and shouted in a panic, "I asked you if you brought it! Tell me!"

"I...I..." Obviously frightened by Owen's sudden rage, Ruan Miaomiao stammered, "I...it seems I didn't, I didn't bring...what the hell..."

Before Ruan Miaomiao could talk about playing, Owen pulled him up by the collar, staring at him with blood red eyes: "Why don't you wear it! How can you not wear it! How can you!"

"I...I don't know...no more...so I just...just..."

Owen slapped him in the face, grabbed his clothes tightly, and yelled out of control: "Are you a fucking idiot! Don't do it if you don't! Don't you know how to protect yourself! You bastard! You don’t even have this bit of common sense! How can you do it without a belt! You’re getting impatient, aren’t you!”

Another slap was thrown in the past, Ruan Miaomiao was hit so hard that his head was buzzing, his mind was even more foggy, he couldn't understand what Owen was saying at all, he looked up in a daze, and when he met Owen's ferocious face, his eyes swept away Passing the computer screen behind him, Ruan Miaomiao was stunned for a moment, then cast his gaze over again, and looked at the content on the web page. He was confused, but seemed to understand something instantly, and looked at Owen in horror.

"You... you won't..."

Owen pushed him away, Ruan Miaomiao staggered and almost fell, his face turned pale instantly, only the red spot was particularly glaring.

"You clearly know that my private life is messy, so why don't you take it with you..." Owen supported the table weakly, and shook his head with a painful expression on his forehead, "Aren't you afraid that I'm sick... aren't you afraid that the people I sleep with are sick? ...Why are you so stupid! Why do you want to do it with me..."

Ruan Miaomiao stared at him blankly, as if suddenly thinking of something, she rushed over and grabbed Owen's arms forcefully.

"What about you?! Have you been infected?! You are not very experienced. Didn't you take it with those people? Why didn't you take it?!"

"I……!"

Not because of you!

Owen couldn't say it, just once or twice, when he wanted Ruan Miaomiao the most, even thinking of Ruan Miaomiao's face couldn't reach the climax, couldn't be satisfied, in order to pursue the stimulation and pleasure of that moment, he let it go and indulged Own.