Mauritius

Please don't expose old scars.The thing is over, over. He went into the next room and began to undress. "Excuse me for being curt."But I'm dead--my nerves have been completely out of whack for three weeks. "

"Me too!" cried Maurice.

"Little wretch!"

"Dram, I'm in hell right now."

"Oh, you'll get out. It's just boredom hell. You've never done anything shameful, so you don't know what real hell is."

Maurice cried out in pain: "There is no mistake." Durham, who was about to close the door between himself and Maurice, said: "Yes. If you like, I will Just discuss it with you. What the hell is going on? You seem to be apologizing for something. Why? You act like I'm annoyed by you. What have you done wrong? You've been absolutely decent throughout .”

Maurice protested in vain.

"You were so decent that I misunderstood your ordinary friendship. You were so kind to me, especially the afternoon I came up--I thought it was something else. I'm so sorry, it's hard Put it in words. I shouldn't go beyond books and music, but I did when I met you. You don't bother to hear my apology, and you don't want me to do anything else for you. However, Huo My sincerest apologies to you. I have been so rude to you and I will regret it for the rest of my life."

Durham's voice was weak but crisp, and his face was as cold as a sword.Maurice said something about love, but in vain.

"It's all over, I think. Get married early and forget about it."

"Dram, I love you."

Durham let out a bitter laugh.

"It's true—it's never been..."

"Good night."

"I tell you, I love you—I've come to say it—in exactly the same terms as you. I've always been like those Greeks without knowing it."

"Speak freely."

Maurice was immediately speechless.He can only speak when no one asks him to.

"Hall, don't make a fool of yourself." Durham held up a hand, for Maurice cried out. "You want to comfort me. You're a good man, and it's just the way you do it. There's a limit to everything, though. There's one or two things I can't stand."

"I'm not making a fool of myself..."

"I shouldn't have said that. So please leave me alone. I'm grateful that I fell at your hands. Most people will go to the superintendent or the police to report on me."

"Oh, go to hell, that's the best place for you." Maurice shouted and rushed into the yard, and heard the door outside slam shut again.He stood furiously on the bridge.This night was so similar to the first time, it was drizzling and the stars were dim.He did not take into account the different torments that Durham had endured for three weeks, and the different effects that one man's privacy might have on others.He hadn't seen his friend since the last breakup, so was irritated.The clock struck twelve, one, two, and he was still trying to figure out what to say, though there was nothing to say, the language was dry.

Maurice was drenched and very irritable, and in the first gleam of light he saw the window of Durham's room.His heart beat violently, shaking him to pieces."You love and you are loved," it cried, and he looked around the yard."You are strong," cried the yard, "he is weak and alone." Maurice's will yielded, and terrified at what had to be done, he seized the window-sill and threw himself.

"Maurice..."

Durham called his name in his dream after he jumped into the house.The mania in his heart disappeared, replaced by a pure emotion he had never imagined.His friend called him, and he was ecstatic.Standing for a moment, his new-born passion at last made him confide, and, laying his hand softly on the pillow, he replied, "Clive!"

As a boy Clive was seldom troubled by bewilderment.However, because of his sincerity of heart and his keen sense of good and evil, he believes that he deserves to be punished by heaven.He was very devout, with a strong desire to be close to the gods and to please them.However, when he was young, he realized that he was born with another desire from Sodom .The whole city was destroyed by God, and all the citizens were exterminated except for the good Lot family. "Another desire" refers to homosexuality.) and suffered.He didn't have the slightest doubt about what it was.His emotions are more delicate than Maurice's, and he has never been split into lust and ideals, nor has he wasted time trying to bridge the gap between the two.He had an inner drive which had destroyed the city of mourning.This impulse could never be allowed to become carnal, but why should he be punished in this way among Christians?

At first he thought God must be testing him.If he does not blaspheme God, he will be compensated like Job. The wealth was returned to him.).So he bowed his head, lived a fasting life, and never approached anyone he thought he would like. At the age of 16, he was tortured continuously.He kept his mouth shut to everyone, and finally suffered from a nervous breakdown and was forced to drop out of school.After entering recovery, he goes out in a wheelchair only to find himself in love with the married young man who accompanied him, a relative of his.It was hopeless, and he should be punished by God.

Maurice had also experienced such horrors, but only vaguely.The terror Clive tasted was definite and constant, and it was most fatal during the communion.Although he restrained himself from being rude, he never misread the truth.He is in control of his physical body, yet his fallen soul mocks the prayers he says.

This young man loves reading and is deeply inspired by books. The terror that the Bible aroused in him was calmed by Plato.He will never forget his first reading of the Phaedrus. The wise, the lover of beauty, or the worshiper of the gods of poetry and love". The sixth class is the "poet or other artist of imitation".) Excitement.In it his illness is described delicately and calmly, as a passion which, like any other, can lead either for good or for evil.There is no account here that encourages indulgence.At first he could not believe his good luck—he thought he must have misunderstood, that he and Plato were thinking different things.Then he knew that the mild heathen really understood him; not against the Bible, but slipped by and offered him a new guide to life: "Develop what you are endowed with." Not suppress it. Not in vain wishing it were something else, but nurturing it in a way that does not annoy God or man.

But he must give up Christianity.Anyone who goes his own way, instead of following an established code of conduct, must eventually give it up.What's more, Clive's character tendency and Christian teachings are irreconcilable in the secular world.It is impossible for any sane person to compromise the two.This tendency of Clive's character is, to quote a legal idiom, "unspeakable among Christians."According to the myth, people with this tendency all died on the morning after Jesus was born, and Clive regretted this.He was born in a family of lawyers and country gentry, and most members of the family are educated and capable.He is unwilling to stray from this tradition.He longed for Christianity to make some concessions to him, so he looked through the Bible, looking for words and sentences that could support him.There are David and Jonadan (Annotation: David is a friend of Jonathan, the son of King Saul, Saul is jealous of David and wants to put him to death. David escapes with the help of Jonadan. See "Old Testament The whole book·18 Samuel Chapter 20-19.) precedent, and even "Jesus' beloved disciple" (Annotation: Refers to the author of John "John's Gospel". Beside him, he said to his mother: 'Mom, look, your son.' Then he said to the disciple, 'Look, your mother.'” See Chapter 26, Chapter 27 of The Gospel of John in the New Testament. to verse [-].). Yet the church's interpretation did not agree with his. He had to misinterpret it if he wanted to find peace of mind with the Bible. And year by year he delved deeper and deeper into the classics.

At the age of 18, he has matured beyond ordinary.He is able to restrain himself enough that he establishes a friendly relationship with whomever he finds attractive, and rapport takes over from abstinence.At Cambridge he cultivated tender feelings for his fellow students.His life had been gray so far, and now it was taking on a slight tinge.He proceeded cautiously and steadily, and there was nothing petty about his caution.As long as he thinks it is correct, he is ready to move forward.

In second grade, he met Risley.Risley also has "that tendency".Risley spit to him quite frankly