out of print lover

"Not at all?" Lin Xing leaned on Xu Xiwan, and repeated the words softly and questioningly. Then, she laughed, with a muffled voice and suppressed laughter, and even her shoulders trembled. It was obviously a smile. , but without any joyful mood, Xu Xiwan's chest was shaken to pieces with her laughter, and pieces fell down rustlingly.

She cried for too long, her eyes were swollen and high, as if all the excess water in her body had been drained, and the heartache was unstoppable at the moment, but she couldn't shed tears anyway, which only made herself more uncomfortable.

The shivering shoulders that haven't grown up yet are so pitiful and distressing, making Xu Xiwan want to hug her.

But Xu Xiwan didn't move at all from the beginning to the end, and didn't even have an expression. His lips were pursed into a sharp line, without the slightest warmth. Lin Xing just let Lin Xing smile against her, as cold as an ice sculpture.

"But I love you very much." After laughing enough, Lin Xing sighed, trying so hard to get closer to Xu Xiwan, to learn things that he didn't like at all, just to let Xu Xiwan watch To myself, everything turned out to be in vain.If Xu Xiwan didn't plan to see her at all, then no matter how much effort she made, it seemed that it would be in vain.

"Then who do you love, Wanwan? You have been single for so many years, who is the place in your heart reserved for?" Lin Xing stroked Xu Xiwan's cheek and asked unwillingly, "It's my mother, right? ?”

Xu Xiwan calmly looked at the piano under the moonlight, and when he heard that Lin Xing mentioned Lin Ling, his eyelids suddenly jumped.

Lin Xing was so close to her, Xu Xiwan's small emotional changes were infinitely magnified in her eyes, so this slight twitch of eyelids explained many meanings, Xu Xiwan remained silent, Lin Xing only regarded her as acquiescing .

Lin Xing smiled bleakly and lowered his head, as if accepting his fate.

Sure enough, it was his mother. Xu Xiwan picked him up in order to fulfill his promise to his mother. Taking care of him for so many years was also for that promise.

I go to visit my mother's grave every year, so my mother's tomb is so spotless. I put my mother's photos in a folder that is within reach, so that I can take them out when I miss her. The yellowed photos are carefully placed In a small airtight bag, even plastic is afraid of damaging it.

How deep is Xu Xiwan's affection for his mother to achieve such a meticulous level?Moreover, her mother left so early, leaving a deep imprint in Xu Xiwan's heart, no matter how time baptizes her, she probably won't be able to wash away the slightest bit.

Xu Xiwan only loves Lin Ling for nearly 20 years, and will continue to love her in the future. She adopted Lin Xing, but because Lin Xing is Lin Ling's daughter.

This cognition drained all of Lin Xing's strength in an instant, she let go of the hand on Xu Xiwan's shoulder in desperation, leaned against the wall next to her, and sat limply on the ground.

What she loves is Lin Ling, and she is just that extra oil bottle.

Everything makes sense. No wonder she was so indifferent to herself when she first brought her back. Of course, it was because she was the child of Lin Ling and others. When Xu Xiwan saw herself, she might not only think of Lin Ling, but also Another man, that's why he was so indifferent.And Lin Xing looked nothing like Lin Ling in the past, I'm afraid Xu Xiwan would think of Lin Xing's father more, how could he not be disgusted.

"If that's the case, why did you treat me so well later on?" Lin Xing laughed sadly, as if mocking himself, "I really don't have any self-knowledge, and I don't weigh how much I weigh. Others give me a little sweetness. I became so proud that I forgot my identity."

What does it mean to be arrogant?This is a living example!It was originally the trash picked up by Xu Xiwan, but she got so complacent that she tried to elevate her to Xu Xiwan. When others saw Xu Xiwan's face and called her Miss, she really thought that she could be equal to Xu Xiwan. In fact, as long as Xu Xiwan moves her fingers, she can be beaten back to her original shape, and she will never be able to stand up again.

Thanks to his mother, Lin Xing was able to get a little pity from Xu Xiwan, but she was still not satisfied, and took that pity as love, and had to send it to others to be humiliated before she could recognize her true colors.

A living person is never as good as a dead person, not to mention that a mother is such a good person, it is worth Xu Xiwan to keep it in her heart for 20 years, and will continue to live in her heart in the end.

There was no sound in the dim room. Xu Xiwan and Lin Xing leaned against the wall, one standing like a pile, and the other sitting like a puddle of mud. The pale moonlight shone on them, stretching them into two twisted lines along the wall. silhouette.

"Sister Xu." After what seemed like a century, Lin Xing finally let out a long breath, calling Xu Xiwan like Feng Yu and Zhou Xiaohui, "Thank you for taking care of me these past 12 years. My mother is in the sky, and I will definitely be very grateful to you. Now I, you have fully fulfilled your promise to my mother. I can be independent. Don't worry, I will move out as soon as possible and will not bother you anymore. As for going abroad...then No need, I can't afford that kind of expense, thank you for your kindness."

Xu Xiwan moved his lips, "Xiao Xing, that's not what I meant..."

"But that's what I mean." Lin Xing thought she was crying, and wiped her eyes, but it was dry. She stood up and bowed deeply to Xu Xiwan, "Thank you again for your care, please Take care."

After finishing speaking, Lin Xing walked out of the piano room without looking back.

Xu Xiwan was alone in the dark, standing against the wall, staring at the piano in the room for a long time, then walked straight towards the piano, sat where Lin Xing had sat, and played the piece Lin Xing had just played. The first moonlight song.She hadn't played the piano for many years, her technique was unfamiliar, she played a section intermittently, and didn't even finish the first movement. The blood oozing from her palm stained the white keys, she didn't care at all.

Every time he played a note, his heart was severely cut, and the small wound on his hand was nothing at all.

Things developed in an unexpected direction for Xu Xiwan, and two weeks later, Lin Xing really moved out.

Except for the suit she was wearing, Lin Xing didn't bring anything except her ID, her mobile phone, her wallet, and that necklace—the only one in the world. She didn't take any of the coming-of-age gifts that Xu Xiwan gave her. When Lin Xing came, She was alone, and she was so decisive when she left. She was at the age of being strong and stubborn. Once she put all the good things of Xu Xiwan into charity, she didn't want anything.

Xu Xiwan didn't allow her to leave at the beginning. The first time Lin Xing came to say goodbye to her was the third day after that day, but Xu Xiwan ordered the bodyguards to "please return the lady to the bedroom", and Xu Xiwan sealed her. The window in Lin Xing's room died, and someone guarded Lin Xing's door 24 hours a day, so Lin Xing couldn't even get out.

"I don't want you to care!" Lin Xing was furious, smashed everything in his room to pieces, knocked on the door, and roared angrily: "Xu Xiwan! I am not your Xu family! I have nothing to do with you! You have no right to lock me up!"

"You have no money and no education, where can you go?" Xu Xiwan said, "It's better to go to the United States honestly. When you finish your studies, I promise I won't care about you anymore. You can decide where you want to go."

These words annoyed Lin Xing even more, "What right do you have to make decisions for me? Why don't you ask me if I want to go to America? Let me out! I don't need your hypocrisy!"

She has finally entered the real rebellious period, and everything is against Xu Xiwan. While Xu Xiwan is busy with work, he has to devote all his energy to dealing with Lin Xing. His head is in a state of desperation. In just one week, his eye sockets are deeply sunken. .

When the dream was shattered, the sweetness and warmth of the past were gone, the house became a cold and messy cage, the windows sealed Lin Xing's only way out, and the door was guarded by bodyguards, Lin Xing couldn't get out, so he went on a hunger strike to protest, Don't eat or drink, and fight to the death with Xu Xiwan.

She looks smart, but she is actually a pretty person. She admits death and went straight to the dark. Once she recognized Xu Xiwan, she must also like herself, so she stayed by Xu Xiwan's side, even if she didn't tell the truth, her heart was wiped with honey. It seemed like that, but when she decided that Xu Xiwan had never liked her, every day staying by Xu Xiwan's side became a torment again. Laughing at Lin Xing's stupidity all the time, Lin Xing couldn't stay here for a moment, as if everything was mocking her wantonly.

On the first day of Lin Xing's hunger strike, the housekeeper reported to Xu Xiwan that the young lady hadn't eaten breakfast or lunch, so Xu Xiwan went home early at night and brought Lin Xing dinner in person.

After seeing Xu Xiwan's deeply sunken eye sockets for a week, Lin Xing was slightly dazed and felt sad, but when Xu Xiwan asked her to eat, she still knocked all the pottery that contained the food on the ground.

"Unless you let me out, I won't eat a bite of food."

"Don't worry, you will be able to leave soon. The procedures for studying abroad have been almost completed, and you can leave next month at the latest. I have prepared a house and a nanny for you there. Just tell me anything, and I'll get someone to prepare it for you right away."

"I won't go." Lin Xing sneered, "What relationship do I have with you, why should I let you arrange my life? Xu Xiwan, who do you think you are? God?"

Xu Xi came to clean Lin Xing's room in the late Ming Dynasty. After they cleaned the floor completely and retreated, Xu Xiwan said: "Xiao Xing, you believe me, this is the last time I will arrange your life for you. How you go is up to you.”

"But I have to arrange it myself now, and I don't want your charity."

As soon as the children in the rebellious stage became emotional, the parents' concern became hypocritical and superfluous, and Lin Xing didn't want to hear a word.

Lin Xing has never been such a headache in the past 18 years. Xu Xiwan is exhausted and helpless, not knowing what to do.

"At least eat something, your stomach..."

"Go away!" Lin Xing yelled at Xu Xiwan, after the yelling, both of them froze.

Lin Xing looked at the shock and sadness in Xu Xiwan's eyes, and she regretted it.

It shouldn't...it shouldn't be like this, no matter what reason Wanwan takes care of her, Lin Xing has been by her side for 12 years, it is impossible not to feel her sincerity, even if he was entrusted by his mother to take care of her, Xu Xiwan You can just give her a mouthful of food to prevent her from starving to death like my uncle did, and there is no need to do this to this extent.

What's wrong with me?Lin Xing covered his face, he was so heartless and ungrateful, what was wrong with Xu Xiwan, she was so kind to her, but she just didn't love her.

"I'm sorry." Lin Xing buried her face in her palms, tears leaking from between her fingers, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry..." She apologized tirelessly, but she couldn't make up for the guilt towards Xu Xiwan at all.

"Xiao Xing, you didn't do anything wrong, it's my fault, disregarding your own wishes."

Up to now, Xu Xiwan is still apologizing for her. Lin Xing has always been like this since she was a child, no matter what Lin Xing said or did, in Xu Xiwan's place, the one who is wrong will never be Lin Xing.

Why do you pamper me so much, why do you make me so willful and annoying?Lin Xing even began to secretly wonder if Xu Xiwan did all this on purpose.

"Then let me be self-willed again." Lin Xing said, "Wan... Sister Xu, I want to leave, I don't want to stay here, I don't want to become as powerful as you, and I don't want to be by your side anymore. "

She said: "Being by your side, I will hurt."

In the past, those sunny and warm days without haze, from the moment the dream was shattered, they all turned into sharp arrows, piercing Lin Xing's flesh one by one. Lin Xing was ashamed of her previous delusions. I can't lift my head up at night.

The dark thoughts in his heart, knowing that speaking out would be life imprisonment, Lin Xing is greedy, getting Xu Xiwan's good is not enough, he wants even better, that made the current situation, nothing.

The only Mid-Autumn Festival that they didn't spend together was the preview. Unfortunately, Lin Xing was so dazed at the time that he didn't pay attention to it.

What about going to America?It's not under Xu Xiwan's control, what Lin Xing wants is to get away from Xu Xiwan, as long as she is by Xu Xiwan's side, her obsession will not stop, there is no hope, and she can't help fantasizing, it is just torture her nerves.

Xu Xiwan couldn't see Lin Xing's sadness.

She is all-powerful in the business field, and even if she backs down, it is for the greater good after the temporary concession.

Only when it comes to Lin Xing, Xu Xiwan has always given in without any reason. No matter how absurd her request is, it is not something a shrewd businessman should do. After all, Xu Xiwan and Lin Xing have always been in love with each other. It's not business. In business, you don't put your whole heart in front of the other party and let the other party dispose of it. Lin Xing gave Xu Xiwan his heart naked|naked. A heart was given to her, whether she was happy or unhappy, Xu Xiwan's heart would also tug along.

"Okay." Xu Xiwan compromised again.

Lin Xing didn't understand, "What?"

"During the period before going to the United States, I let you go. You can go wherever you want, but you have to study abroad. You are still so young. Anyway, you should at least finish your studies. For your mother, you also You should finish your studies."

"But……"

"I know what you are worried about. You are worried that you will not be able to escape my control, right? You don't have to worry about this at all. From today onwards, I will no longer control you, and I will never appear in front of you again. Your life will be changed from now on. You decide on your own, I only lend you the tuition and living expenses for the first year, and you will rely entirely on yourself in the future. When you earn money, you will return the principal and interest I lent you, and you will not owe me anything Yes, is that okay?"

Until now, Xu Xiwan is still taking care of Lin Xing's self-esteem.

Lin Xing is not a wooden person, how could he not feel it, the more he can feel Xu Xiwan's good intentions, the more uncomfortable Lin Xing feels.

Why is this, you obviously don't love me, but still treat me so well.

Lin Xing's hunger strike plan lasted only one day before Xu Xiwan compromised.

After that day, another week later, Lin Xing moved away from Xu's house, with his hands in his pockets when he left, without even taking the two yuan bus fare.When she walked out of Xu's house pretending to be chic, Xu Xiwan watched silently in the study, watching her leave easily and disappear into her own world.

Where are you going?Lin Xing didn't know that she was very clear about the future. Because of such an accident, she became confused again and walked aimlessly. After walking for more than an hour, she found Feng Yu who was driving an electric car to pick her up near the bus stop.

"Why are you here?" Lin Xing asked in surprise.

"Sister Xu asked me to come." Seeing Lin Xing arrived, Feng Yu put away his phone and patted the back seat of his car, "Come on."

"Where?"

"Anyway, you have no place to live now, go to my place first."

"Is this... convenient?" Feng Yu's family includes not only his parents, but also grandparents, grandma, and a younger brother. Lin Xing, an outsider, would definitely not be suitable to go there.

"I don't live at my house. I will take the college entrance examination next year. My parents rented a small house for me near the No. [-] Middle School for fear of delaying my studies. At present, Zhou Xiaohui and I live alone. It may be a bit crowded when you go. Do you mind living in the living room? "

"I don't mind." Nonsense, Lin Xing is already planning to live in the park tonight, so there is nothing to mind if there is a living room to live in.

She got into Feng Yu's electric car, and Feng Yu drove all the way back to the small apartment near No. [-] Middle School.

I haven't been to No. [-] Middle School for three years, and No. [-] Middle School hasn't changed at all. The snack street outside the campus is fragrant for several miles, tempting hungry students. They pass through the snack street and drive to an old community. Lin Xing recognizes that community. It was originally a welfare housing allocation for teaching staff, but most of the retired teachers have moved out, and most of these houses are rented out to students studying in No. [-] Middle School.

There was no elevator in the old-fashioned community. Lin Xing followed Feng Yu up to the sixth floor and entered the apartment she rented. It was less than [-] square meters, with two bedrooms and one living room. The living room of an old-fashioned house is very small, with a sofa and a coffee table. And TV, not much room left.

"Sit wherever you want." Feng Yu greeted Lin Xing, took a cup from the cupboard, washed it, and poured her a glass of water.

"Aren't you going to class today?"

"I've confirmed that I'm going to be recommended. I don't need to take the college entrance examination, and it doesn't matter if I take classes or not."

Lin Xing said enviously, "It's amazing."

"What about you? What are your plans?"

"Late...she said she would send me abroad."

"What is the conflict between you and sister Xu?"

Lin Xing didn't know what to say, and she couldn't say anything about this matter, "You also know that I was only adopted by her. I have grown up now, so of course she has no obligation."

"What you said has no conscience. Xiaohui and I both know how Sister Xu treats you. If Sister Xu heard you say that, she would be so sad that she felt like she had raised a white-eyed wolf."

"Why didn't you know that she was at fault first?"

"Is it?"

"No." Lin Xing couldn't tell such a lie even if he had no conscience, and admitted depressedly: "It's all my fault. I messed up everything. Now I don't have the face to face her anymore."

Barely confessed to others, lost his temper, and then ran out, it would be a ghost if he had the face to go back.

Feng Yu said: "I remember that you were not such an impulsive person before, how did you become such an unmanageable situation?"

yeah, why?Lin Xing also felt very strange.

Probably Xu Xiwan was too kind to her and gave her an illusion that she was sure to succeed. She was blinded and only saw the only result after success, completely ignoring other possibilities.

"It's useless to say anything now." Lin Xing seemed to be comforting himself, took a deep breath, and forced a smile on his face, "I'm penniless now, and I have to worry about the tuition and living expenses for studying abroad in the next few years. Find something to do."

"The school over there should have a scholarship system, right? You should study it carefully. If you can apply for a scholarship, the pressure on tuition and living expenses will be much less. As for now... I have a job here, but I don't know if you want it or not. "

"What job?"

"Don't you know how to play the piano? My cousin is just looking for a piano teacher. Why don't I introduce you to her? It costs 100 yuan an hour. I have three lessons a week for two hours each time. Would you like me?"

Lin Xing was suspicious: "Is there such a good thing?"

Feng Yu said with a smile: "The market price of a regular piano teacher is 300 yuan an hour. If you give you [-] yuan, you will be at a disadvantage. It is not a good thing."

Lin Xing thought, this is a way to make money, "When do you have classes?"

"If you have time, try to teach a class at [-] o'clock tomorrow night. From now on, classes will be held every Monday, Thursday, and Saturday. They will tell you the specific time."

"Okay, thank you Feng Yu, when I get my salary, I'll treat you to dinner."

"Forget it, let's save up the tuition first."

In the evening, when Zhou Xiaohui came back from self-study next night, she was very happy to see Lin Xing. The two chatted for most of the night. When the hour hand pointed to one o'clock, Feng Yu directly slapped Zhou Xiaohui on the head, "Okay, if you don't sleep, Lin Xing is still here." I have to sleep, isn't there a monthly exam tomorrow? You don't want the grades anymore?"

Zhou Xiaohui had a headache, "It's so annoying, it's another monthly exam! Hey Feng Yu, I really envy you. You were guaranteed to be sent early, and you don't have to squeeze that single-plank bridge with thousands of troops."

"Don't you still have a competition? Do you have to win the qualification to be recommended for the competition? Otherwise, I will never talk to you in the future."

"You're going to threaten me!"

Lin Xing was laughing, smiling, envious of Zhou Xiaohui.

She knew that Feng Yu would never ignore Zhou Xiaohui for the rest of her life.

Touching the scene, Lin Xing felt sad again when he thought of himself.

The next day Lin Xing went to try to teach a class. She was in good shape and patient, Feng Yu's little cousin liked her very much, and she passed the trial on the spot, so Lin Xing's first part-time job was finalized.However, this is just a drop in the bucket. It is okay to maintain food and clothing during this period of time, and it is far from enough to save tuition fees. The focus of Lin Xing's attention is the annual scholarship conditions of the university she will go to.

Since he boasted about Haikou, he couldn't be halfway through his studies and come back to beg Xu Xiwan when he ran out of money, right?Lin Xing desperately wanted face, and couldn't afford to lose this person in front of Xu Xiwan.

Piano lessons are billed once a day. Aunt Feng Yu’s family is very nice, and she paid Lin Xing’s wages for the trial lesson. Lin Xing now lives and boards with Feng Yu, and Feng Yu’s even wears clothes. He was so nervous that he wanted to return the money to Feng Yu, but Feng Yu refused, "It's alright, you and I have been friends for more than ten years, are you polite to me? Treat me as an outsider, right? Don't worry, I will help you now It's not from the white gang, I will pay you back even more when you become rich."

Lin Xing smiled and said: "Then I must work hard, otherwise I won't be able to develop, and you will be at a loss?"

Feng Yu returned to her room after taking a shower, and saw a message from Xu Xiwan on her mobile phone, asking how Lin Xing was doing, Xu Xiwan replied "It's good, I have money to eat", and waited for a while Xu Xi didn't reply her "thank you" until late.

What is this called?Feng Yu thought, Xu Xiwan paid for Lin Xing's rented house, and ended up letting himself and Zhou Xiaohui sleep in the bedroom, and drove Lin Xing to sleep in the living room. In order to give her the title of a piano teacher, I was afraid that Lin Xing would find out, and his self-esteem would not be able to bear it.

Or Feng Yu said that Lin Xing has no conscience, is Xu Xiwan not good enough for Lin Xing?Few of their own can achieve Xu Xiwan's level.