Messenger of Bliss

"Is there still something that the gods can't ask for?"

"of course."

"You are too incompetent to be an immortal, don't you want to kill all emotions and six desires?"

"It's not just incompetent, it's simply not qualified."

"Then you still occupy the latrine and don't shit, you are a fart god!"

"Hiss..." Bai Yan squinted his eyes and stared at him, "Jiang Yu, Mr. Jiang, is a scholarly family with a romantic flair, so he shouldn't speak so vulgarly."

Jiang Yu froze for a moment, then shook his head mockingly, "The thing I regret the most in my life is that I was born in a noble family. I would rather be a wilderness in exchange for my relatives to live forever. Having said that..." Jiang Yu Staring at Bai Qian indifferently, there is no awe in the alienated eyes, even hatred.

"You are a god, do you really understand the suffering in the world?"

His voice was extremely soft, as if a feather was involved in the noisy waves of the night, but it was extremely powerful, and every word was a blatant accusation.

"I..." Bai Yan didn't evade, he heard it clearly, he had been questioned countless times by countless distressed people, and the answer was exactly the same every time, but the answer was absolutely sincere, he was Think so.The only difference is that Jiang Yu was the first person to hear the answer with his own ears.

"I don't quite understand."

"That's right. No wonder..." Jiang Yu breathed a sigh of relief, and turned her head to look forward, "You say, some people have done so many wrong things, why do they still want to go to the Paradise of Elysium?"

"Afraid of suffering." Bai Yan responded casually.

"Really? Then I look down on them. If you do evil, what else do you want if you don't want to go to hell? Doing good is much easier than doing evil, and you don't need to be ignorant..."

Bai Yan curled his lips into a smile, "That's why I said, I don't quite understand."

Jiang Yu smiled sarcastically, "The threshold for a god is really low."

"Yes."

"Even I have something you want to covet, so it can be seen that the life of the gods is not easy."

"It's a good life, but I still envy you."

"Tch, what do I have to envy?"

"No, no, no..." Bai Yan leaned over and got closer to him, "The things on your body are so precious."

"Hahaha..." Jiang Yu opened his arms, and his thin prison uniform was opened wide under the cold wind, his bony body was almost visible at a glance.

"You tell me, what do I have?"

Bai sneered, and tapped his finger on his chest, "Here, there is a rare treasure."

"Oh?" Jiang Yu glanced down at his empty chest, "What?"

"Did you know that you have a heart?"

"Nonsense! Who has no heart?"

"I didn't."

"Really?" Jiang Yu closed his clothes indifferently, "Everyone in the world has a heart, you can just find one, why bother me?"

"Your heart is different." Bai Yan tilted his head, "I can feel that your spiritual root is deep, it..." Bai Yan poked Jiang Yu's heart vigorously, "It's a seven-aperture exquisite heart, my 900 This is the only time I've met in the past year." He suddenly paused, frowned, pondered for a long time, and then showed an ambiguous smile, "Speaking of which, there's a strange idiot..."

"Who wants to listen to your talk!" Jiang Yu pushed Bai Yan's hand away, "You want my heart, don't you? Just kill me! Come! Do it!"

"No, no, no... you kid, why don't you listen to what people say!" Bai Qian pressed his head, scratched his chin, and muttered to himself: "Such a violent temper I don't know if it's good to discipline..."

"Stop talking!" Jiang Yu exhausted his patience and stood up abruptly. He hadn't eaten for a long time and was dizzy for a while. Bai Yan waved his sleeve and hugged him firmly.

"Tsk tsk..."

"Fuck off!"

Jiang Yu kicked him hard, pointed at his nose and cursed: "I don't think you are a god at all, you are just a magic stick!"

"Do you want to be a fairy?"

Bai Yan Fuchen lowered his arms, and smiled lightly, "Or, to be a little magic stick, would you like to?"

A trace of obvious hesitation flashed in Jiang Yu's eyes, "What the hell are you talking about?"

"Do you want to leave this place?"

"What do you ask this for?"

"answer me."

"Think." Jiang Yu gritted his teeth, "So what?"

"I can take you away."

"Where?"

"The gate of bliss."

"What's that place?"

"You'll know when you go." Bai Yan raised his head, "For you, even going to hell is a hundred times better than staying in Huanhai, isn't it?"

Jiang Yu was silent.

Bai Yan waited in his silence.

"A person like me deserves to be a god?"

"No one deserves to be a fairy, just as you think in your heart, neither do I."

"Where are my siblings? Where are my friends?"

Bai Yan lowered his eyes and smiled, and said calmly, "I can only take you away alone."

"why?"

"It's you, not them, who have an exquisite heart. The fate is God's will if the number is odd or even."

Jiang Yu snorted contemptuously, "Immortals, aren't they the ones who save all living beings from suffering?"

"Salvation? Who are you referring to? You? Or..." Bai Yan pointed to the brick building on the high ground in the distance, "They?" He smiled, "Things in the world are dissolved in the world. I'm not a Bodhisattva, I don't have that ability, let alone That bosom."

Jiang Yu pursed her lips, "But I...can't abandon them..."

"No hurry." Bai Yan squeezed his shoulders, "You decide for yourself, I won't force others to make things difficult for you. I'll wait for you on the cliff over there for five days. Come, I'll take you away. If you don't come, I will take you by myself." Walk."

"Wait…"

Jiang Yu rubbed his eyes vigorously, with such strength that he even wiped out his tears, but he was still convinced that Bai Yan disappeared, just in a blink of an eye.

Is it a dream?

He became more and more suspicious that he had actually been drowned, and everything was a illusory illusion.

"Big brother!"

Jiang Yu came back to his senses, and his younger sister rushed towards him impatiently, and went straight to his arms, "I found you, are you still angry with me?"

"No."

"Then why are you ignoring me..."

Jiang Yu patted Jiang Min's back reassuringly, "I'm angry with myself."

"elder brother…"

"Amin." Jiang Yu hugged her sister's arm tightly, "I'm not as brave as you think, but I'm actually very scared, afraid of death, hungry, beaten, lonely, and losing my dignity... I'm sorry... Ah Min, you're wrong, I'm really... far behind my father..."

"Brother, what's wrong with you?"

"It's okay." Jiang Yu gently pushed his sister away, and he grinned, but cried.

"I'm just... sad... I miss them..."

Jiang Min smiled through tears. This was the first time in 14 years that she saw the fragility of her eldest brother. This man has always been duplicity, always flattered, and always like a city like the sea. His thoughts are more difficult to understand than his father's, so his father doesn't like him. And the second brother who likes simplicity and straightforwardness.But Jiang Min knew in his heart that his elder brother was a good man, he loved this family, he loved his father, and even admired him.But two people who are equally noble, no one wants to be outdone, and the only way to avoid conflicts is to retreat, retreat, and withdraw from an abyss.

It wasn't until this moment after his father's death that he was finally willing to admit that he missed him.

But it was too late.

Jiang Min wiped the tears from the corners of his eyes for his elder brother, and said softly: "Brother, my second brother and I are still here, we are together, we still have a family."

"I'm sorry...I'm sorry...Amin...forgive me...please...forgive me...sorry..."

What his sister said made Jiang Yu collapse. He covered his face and knelt down in front of her without regard for dignity. , only cry.

The sun is about to rise, and the rays of the sun shine on the cliffs that are close at hand, reflecting the bright stars, and the glittering sea surface is full of brilliance, just like the appearance of hope.

Heartbreakingly beautiful.

Jiang Yu didn't know how he was dragged back by his sister, he just walked blindly, there was a road ahead, but he was only allowed to be alone.

For five whole days, he was like a corpse, neither eating nor drinking, not caring, no matter who called him to persuade him, it was useless. He just curled up on the cold ground and kept silent.

He hated the appearance of Bai Yan, the absurdity of that person was like a steel needle, piercing the bluffing self with precision.Let him recognize the law of survival that exists in Huanhai, which he has always refused to face up to——

People who don't do it for themselves will be punished by heaven and earth.

He's about to compromise, he's about to give up.

So he hated it even more, hated himself for making a choice.

I hate myself the most, who has already made a choice.

It was chosen from the beginning, right?The more expectations I give them, the more desperate I am, the more soundly I let them sleep, the more awake I am, but those who are awake are the most painful!

I make them believe in escape, in the future, in the future, and yet, yet, yet...

Hush

I know, only I know, we can never leave here.

Five days later, in the middle of the night, at that time again, Jiang Yu's stiff legs moved.

He got up.

"Big brother..."

Jiang Yu stopped, but didn't look back.

"Are you back yet?"

He was indifferent.

he's gone.

She didn't chase.

Bai Yan rested on the edge of the cliff with his arms pillowed on his head, meditating, and recited another Taixu mantra, and the five-day deadline was over.

The sound of footsteps gradually approached, and he smiled, but did not get up.

"Here it is."

"Ah."

"Admittedly, I was a little surprised."

"Accident what?"

"I thought you loved them very much."

Jiang Yu smiled sadly, "They love me very much, but people like me don't care about love."

"You know too much at such a young age."

"I am young, so I have experienced too much." Jiang Yu knelt down beside him, "I want to ask you a question."

"But it doesn't matter."

"Can you tell me what it takes for a person to live without any expectations?"

Bai Yan thought about it seriously, "It's hard, no, impossible."

"Yeah..." Jiang Yu sighed, "Looking forward to this kind of thing, after a long time, becomes drinking poison to quench my thirst. These meaningless expectations are almost killing me... It seems that the more I yearn for something, the more I look forward to it. That thing is getting farther and farther away from me, until... in the end, even I don't remember what I'm holding on to."

His eyes were loose and confused, probably because he had been thinking about this question for too long, so long that he got into the horns and couldn't get out again.

Bai Qian raised his hand and picked his chin, "What are you expecting?"

"I can't tell." Jiang Yu widened his eyes desperately, he couldn't cry anymore.

"Right now, I just want that old thing, that dead old man, that bastard, hug me again..." Jiang Yu shook her body and muttered, "Why can't he be subdued? Just call me again Yu'er... I just... just listen to him... I... that's all."

He stopped abruptly, Bai Yan patted his head, "Why don't you say anything?"

Jiang Yu shook his head, "In the past, when I had the opportunity to ask for it with confidence, I was so stubborn that I didn't say a word to him... Now, I have no face..."

I abandoned my dying brother, I abandoned my helpless sister, and I abandoned those people who regarded me as a life-saving straw. I was their god, their sustenance, and their belief in living, but I Abandoned them.

"Where is hope? There will be no hope."

He murmured this sentence repeatedly, as if he could gain relief by saying it a few more times.

I'm exhausted living my life, I just want to have a brighter life, so why regret it?How can we live up to it?What's wrong?

It's so hard to live for others like that man.

I can't bear it.

The author has something to say:

I feel so sorry for my sensible brothers and sisters, I can’t help it, I just want to write cruelly

In such an environment, this contradiction is more real, right?

She's still cute, don't hit me (*/ω＼*)

In the next chapter, Tutu will come back~