To my dear Mr. Meng

After returning from Longtan Temple, neither Meng Qiansheng nor I mentioned the matter of being together again.

In the next few days, I became a dedicated tour guide and took Meng Qiansheng for a stroll when I was free. I originally said to return Guan Ting’s car, but she said no, and she winked at me and smiled: "What's going on with you two recently? Son? There is a situation. Meng Qiansheng is full enough to come here for vacation?"

I said calmly: "I think he is also full."

Just as I was thinking, his call came and asked me, "Are you home?"

"Yeah, what's wrong?" I said.

"I just wanted to tell you that I'm home."

"As long as the plane is not late."

"what are you doing?"

"I'm thinking of you."

Meng Qian just laughed and asked me, "Are you busy at the end of the year?"

"Should be busy, the company is year-end in December." I joked, "You're going to take another annual leave, and I don't have time to entertain you."

"Will you be annoyed if you come too much?"

"Yes, after all, I always have to treat you to dinner."

He laughed again.

I couldn't help laughing too: "Meng Qiansheng, what are you happy about?"

"Listen to you, I can't help it."

"You really—"

"There is a call coming in, wait for me for a while."

"No, hang up first, you are busy."

"Okay, then you go to bed early."

I hung up the phone, and a person's smiling face was reflected on the dark phone screen.

What are you laughing at, crazy.

The weather this fall has been terrible.

The sky is always cloudy, with a cold rain coming from time to time. Looking out from the floor-to-ceiling windows of the office, it looks like the set of a doomsday movie.

Liang Xinru shared a lot of work for me. She accompanied Lao Zhou to a meeting today, and I sat in the office, translating documents bored.

Suddenly, the phone vibrated, and an unfamiliar text message was sent.

"He Yujun? I'm Yan Xiangyu."

Why is this kid looking for me?I wondered in my heart, I haven't touched Wen Zhuo with a single finger in the past two months, so it's not my fault to make trouble.

I called directly, and he said he wanted to buy me coffee, and made an appointment at the coffee shop next door to my company.

Yan Xiangyu seemed a little nervous when he saw me appear. I never knew that I could be aggressive.After casually ordering a cup of coffee, I leaned on the sofa: "What's the matter? I have to go back to the company to work overtime at night."

Yan apologized to Yu, and then stopped, using a spoon to mess up the delicate latte art.I didn't understand what he meant by pulling me out to work abroad, so I asked, "What do you need from me? Wen Zhuo has an accident?"

He was in a dilemma, and it took him a long time to say: "Wen Zhuo told me."

"what?"

"He..." Yan Xiangyu held back for a long time, and uttered a vague sentence, "He said he was mentally ill, is it true?"

I almost jumped up: "He told you himself?"

"Yeah." He hung his head, unable to see his expression clearly, "He told me yesterday."

I had two big ones on my head, and seeing that he was still looking at me earnestly, I had no choice but to nod: "Don't talk about it outside."

His face changed drastically, and he asked, "What disease?"

"Bipolar disorder type I." Seeing that he was confused, I added, "Do you know about bipolar disorder?"

"So...is it serious?"

"It's not light anyway."

He tightened the tablecloth: "Can't it be cured?"

"It's hard to say. If it is well controlled, it may not recur for a long time."

He didn't say a word, I teased: "Are you going to abandon him?"

"Don't say that, I'm serious..." He choked up a little, "In my heart Wen Zhuo is different from others, I'm very sad."

"Don't cry." I said, "It's not that there is no rule of law. Don't you think he is doing well now?"

"I can accompany him to psychotherapy. I heard that psychological counseling seems to be very good for these. It is too hard for him to carry it alone."

"It's not that I'm pouring cold water on you. It's really tiring and annoying to take care of the mentally ill. You are willing to accompany him now. If he doesn't recover, how can you be sure that you will always take care of him?"

"As long as he doesn't chase me away, I will always be with him."

I sighed and asked, "Have you come out to your family yet?"

He was taken aback: "Not yet." After realizing what I meant, he quickly explained in a low voice, "I won't keep it from my family."

"You want to be with Wen Zhuo, tell your family later, and then?" I felt a little annoyed, "Have you considered Wen Zhuo? He has already come out to the family, why should he talk to you again?" Unlucky one time? It's up to you to help Wen Zhuo. If he says he's willing to share the family's pressure with you, then take it for granted that I didn't say so; if he doesn't want to, don't kidnap him in the name of true love. If you insist on liking him, then you shouldn’t let him suffer.”

He stared at me blankly, opened and closed his lips a few times, but finally said nothing.

The passing waiter looked at us, and I realized that I was too harsh, so I calmed down for a while and said, "I'm sorry, I said too much."

He doesn't speak.

I called the waiter to check out, and he who had been silent all this time suddenly said: "Then...then why don't you stay with him?"

"I don't want to make him unhappy," I said.

When I got back to the office, it was obviously very quiet, but I sat in a state of distraught, so I simply sent a text message to Lao Zhou, using an excuse to ask for leave and slip away.

It was raining outside, and the air in the house was also humid.I stayed in the dark living room for a while, and found that it was almost nine o'clock, and I was too lazy to cook, so I went to the kitchen to boil water and noodles.

While waiting for the water to boil, by accident, I called Meng Qiansheng.He picked it up quickly, and I realized that he might be working overtime: "Are you busy? If I'm busy, I'll call back later."

"Not busy, tell me." He said with a gentle attitude, "What's the matter?"

It rained a little on the road, and my mind was cold and dull. I didn't say a word for a long time, afraid that he would think the connection was disconnected, so I said, "I don't know what to say."

He laughed softly: "Are you angry with the boss?"

"No."

"Working overtime at the company?"

"I've come back and I'm cooking noodles."

"It's so late to eat?"

"I have no appetite, I don't have any ingredients at home, plain noodles."

"It's a bit miserable."

"I think... no, nothing."

"What? You say?"

"It's nothing, I just thought of the chicken noodle you made before."

He smiled and said, "Want to eat it? I'll make it for you next time."

I pressed the cold back of my hand to my forehead: "No, I'm just joking, forget it."

He didn't say anything, just smiled.

"Meng Qiansheng. I want to ask you something."

"Ok?"

"What did you think when I found out I was bipolar?"

He was silent for a while, then said, "Why do you want to ask this?"

"It's nothing, just ask casually," I threw the noodles into the water, "Forget it, let's not talk about it."

"He Badger, you don't need to take bipolar disorder as a burden." He said slowly, "It's not your fault that you have this disease."

"I know, I'm talking about a friend." The rain poured down on the glass window, and the lights in the distance were cut to pieces, "I just thought that it would be quite painful to live with a mental patient for the rest of my life. If I were a normal person, I could help him for a year or two, three or five years, but if it takes a lifetime, I probably can't do it. What about you?"

Meng Qian was silent for a moment, then said: "I dare not promise that I can persist for a lifetime, I can only say that I will do my best. People change too fast."

"You are so honest, you didn't say anything nice." I turned off the fire, "Aren't you afraid that I will get angry?"

"You're not that boring." He chuckled softly, "We've known each other for more than twenty years."

"It's so miserable, I'm too familiar to be coaxed."

"I love you."

I shook my hand holding the chopsticks to pick up the noodles: "Cough, my noodles are cooked."

"You can eat," he said with a smile, "hang up."

On Christmas Eve, it was already ten o'clock when Lao Zhou waved me back.I sat on the empty subway and yawned, suddenly thinking that tomorrow is Meng Qiansheng's birthday.I stared at the "Happy Birthday" in the input box for a long time, and looked again, and it had already been sent.

After a while, Meng Qiansheng replied to me: "Accidentally clicked to send the scheduled text message?"

Before I could figure out how to retort, he sent another message: "Thank you, you are the first one."

I sighed and couldn't help laughing again.

Although Christmas Day was Saturday, I worked overtime all day and was so busy that I got a headache. When I got home at night and took a shower, I got into bed and fell asleep. I got out of bed the next afternoon and was ready to go to the hospital for a follow-up visit.Taking the mobile phone on the bedside table, there was an unread text message, which was sent by Meng Qiansheng at eleven o'clock last night: "If you are free the day after tomorrow, I would like to treat you to dinner."

I was so scared that I called him right away, but he was hung up after two rings. I guess he was busy with work, so I threw the phone aside.

After nearly an hour, I just got off the subway, and he called me back, saying that he was busy just now, and it was not convenient to pick up. I said it was fine, and asked, "Are you here?"

"Well, come here and do something."

"Yesterday, I came back and fell asleep directly. I didn't see your text message."

He asked, "Are you free today?"

"I'm on my way to the hospital now, why don't we have dinner together?"

"I'm done. Which hospital are you in? Is it convenient for me to go there?"

I sent the address over.

It was almost four o'clock when I arrived at the hospital. There were many people waiting for treatment, and the benches were all full. I had to stand by the side of the aisle and play with my mobile phone. Suddenly, it was dark and Meng Qiansheng appeared next to me.He seemed to have just come out of the company, dressed very formally, a dark blue wool suit with a paisley pattern tie, and a coat hanging in his arms. He asked me, "How many more are there?"

As soon as I finished speaking, I heard NO.18 calling me, I nodded at him, and he smiled knowingly.Walking to the door of the consulting room, I suddenly asked, "Do you want to come in?"

The doctor was already familiar with me, and when he looked up and saw Meng Qiansheng, he said, "You haven't arrived yet, please wait outside."

I couldn't hold back, and laughed out: "Doctor, he's not sick, he came with me."

The doctor asked, "Is he your family member?"

I said, "It's my brother."

Suddenly, it was like returning to the time when I sat in the psychiatric consultation room for the first time.

After going out, I found Meng Qiansheng was smiling all the time, so I asked, "Why are you so happy?"

He smiled deeper and said that he was happy for me when the doctor said that my condition was stable.

I feel like I am the family member accompanying me to see a doctor.

In the evening, we went to the city center to eat steak. We often come to this restaurant every week. They say that the chef and the owner are all Spanish, and the cooking is authentic.

Ordinarily, a bottle of red wine should be opened, but Meng Qiansheng didn't want it. After ordering, he asked me: "The doctor said that you should stop drinking, have you considered it?"

I said honestly, "It's a bit difficult."

He smiled and said, "Didn't you quit smoking?"

"There are mints for quitting smoking, but it depends on the will to quit drinking. I can't control myself."

He said: "When I was with you in the afternoon, I remembered the first time I took you to the hospital."

"Huh?" I looked at him, "Were you frightened by my illness?"

"Maybe a little bit." He smiled slightly. "At that time, I always felt that I seemed to be very mature, but in fact I couldn't take care of things at all. When I encountered a little difficulty, I felt that the sky was going to collapse."

"When I was in junior high school because I couldn't solve a function problem in the exam, I thought I would be scolded by my mother and cried all night. Now it doesn't matter if I am kicked out by my parents. Growing up is a thick-skinned person. process."

"It seems to make sense."

"I've always been very reasonable in what I say."

"Compared to before, you have indeed grown up a lot."

I smiled and said, "Today is my birthday anyway, so you can't compliment me?"

"Too much." He looked at me, "I have too many compliments to say here."

I can't bear to look into those eyes.

Meng Qiansheng is still staying at the Zishan Hotel, so he must take me home.When I arrived at the door of the house, I didn't touch the key for a long time, the voice-activated lights dimmed, and the surroundings fell into darkness. He stood behind me like a huge vortex, making me dizzy.

As soon as I opened the door, the key was still inserted in the lock, he gently grabbed my right arm from behind and called, "He Badger."

The voice-activated lights in the corridor are not sensitive, and you have to yell loudly or stomp your feet to wake up.I turned around, and although it was dark, I could still see the silhouette from a close distance.But he didn't say anything further.Maybe it doesn't have to be said, because everything is obvious enough.I held him instead and pulled my hand, leading him into the gate, leaning my head against his forehead.

"I want a birthday present." I said.

His hand was on the back of my head, I thought he was going to kiss me, but he just touched the back of my neck: "You say."

"say you Love Me."

He chuckled softly in the dark and said softly, "I love you."

"I love you too." I tilted my head and kissed him, "But I don't know... I can't remember that feeling when we are together."

"I know, I'm sorry." He rubbed my forehead, "Can you take your time?"

"Try it." I said with a smile, "I'm already tired enough to live, so don't be so emotionally twisted. You're an adult, let's be more casual."

"Okay." He kissed me with a cherished attitude.

It's like a night intoxicated by the spring breeze, looking at the moon in the water, setting off a layer of affectionate ripples.