To my dear Mr. Meng

As soon as I got back to work, I was so busy that I didn't have time for sex.Wen Zhuo also disappeared, and probably went out to have a good time again. Thinking of this, I sat in the office with a backache and a backache, and I was full of hatred for the exploiting class.

In the evening Guan Ting asked me to go out for dinner, during which time I kept looking at my phone, and I joked, "Who are you chatting with? I can't bear to put it down."

She smiled at me, that smile was a little guilty, before I asked, she opened her mouth first: "Well... I didn't tell you, Meng Qiansheng is here on a business trip."

"Oh." I swallowed a mouthful of bamboo shoots, "So what's the matter?"

"He's coming over for dinner, and he'll be here soon."

I stayed for a while, and it took me a long time to find my voice.

Ten minutes later, Guan Ting suddenly waved behind me. I didn't dare to turn my head. I waited until I caught a glimpse of someone approaching me from the corner of my eye before raising my head. Meng Qian smiled at us both, and sat down on the empty seat.Guan Ting kept talking, the atmosphere was not cold at all, and asked him what food he wanted to eat, whether he was busy on a business trip, and whether he wanted to order a bottle of wine.I poured tea for him, he thanked me and smiled at me, and I was strangely calmed down.

Most of the meal was the two of them talking, talking about some company CEOs they knew together. I sat and listened, not interested, but fortunately, everyone knew each other well, so it wasn't awkward.Meng Qiansheng asked me about my recent situation, and I told the truth. Guan Ting also told a lot of gossip about Lao Zhou and other companies, and he picked funny things to make us laugh.

On the table, the eyes of Meng Qiansheng and I have never collided accidentally, probably because of years of tacit understanding.

After dinner, Guan Ting drove home and said to see us off. I said it was not far from my house, and I was going to walk back.Meng Qian asked me where I lived, and my heart jumped, and I unconsciously reported the address.He nodded and said, "My hotel is not far from there."

Guan Ting couldn't hold back her smile anymore, she looked at me through the window of the car, as if as soon as I opened my mouth, she could immediately pack Meng Qiansheng into the car.

In the end, I said, "Since we are on the way, let's go together."

It was windy at night at the end of September. Fortunately, I was wearing a suit, so I didn't feel cold for a while.The bridge was almost at the end, and Meng Qiansheng finally said, "How is your spirit?"

"Everything is fine, I have been taking medicine, and there is no relapse."

He nodded.This silence lasted halfway, and I asked: "Is your work going well? I heard that the financial industry seems to be in a bad mood recently."

"Indeed a little bit." He smiled, "The big market is not good, and if this continues, we will drink the northwest wind."

I also laughed: "How can anyone starve to death in finance? I depend on the sky for my food."

He couldn't help laughing, the light from the street lamp happened to fall on his face, and one of his eyes was extraordinarily bright, like a small arrow piercing through the heart.

I think of Gu Long's "Lover's Arrow" for no reason.The arrow is a lover's arrow, and the arrow is filled with ecstasy and poison.

"Is there a supermarket near here?" he asked.

"There is a small supermarket on the road behind Zishan Hotel."

"I live in Zishan, and I haven't seen it before."

"Go to the back, the street you go around. You go through the back door of Zishan..." I was thinking about how to explain it, but when I noticed his smile, I suddenly realized that he wanted me to accompany him.

I stopped talking.He looked at me, still smiling: "Why don't you say anything?"

Suddenly, a wave of anger rose in my heart, and I said, "There should be a 24-hour convenience store next to the hotel. I want to go back first."

"I'll take it to you."

"No, it's inconvenient."

He finally stopped insisting: "Okay, pay attention to safety on the road."

When I got home, the more I thought about it, the more I felt that he was teasing me on purpose, and I couldn't help feeling angry.

Meng Qian said the bastard.

To be annoyed is to be really annoyed, to be scolded is to be really scolded, but one cannot hold back the corners of one's mouth after scolding.

I really want to think about it.

Half a month later, when I saw Meng Qiansheng's text message, I almost jumped out of my chair.Lao Zhou had nothing to do, he was copying things himself, and rolled his eyes at me: "What's the matter, forgot to return the credit card?"

I sat back and said no.

He walked to my desk, held up two pictures of goldfish, and asked seriously, "Which one looks better?"

"It's all beautiful and festive."

He glanced at me and said in dissatisfaction: "My girlfriend sent text messages? My heart has been taken away."

I laughed dryly.

I couldn't figure out why Meng Qiansheng suddenly asked me out for dinner. I felt that it was inappropriate, but I couldn't control myself and still wanted to go.

Is it to have sex with me?

Thinking of this layer, I laughed myself first.It's best for Meng Qiansheng not to make this request, because I definitely can't refuse, but I don't want to be nailed to the pillar of moral shame just because I slept once.

The more I thought about it, the more amusing it became. As soon as I got out of the company building, I saw a big Benz with a familiar model parked on the side of the road. When I looked closely, wasn't it Meng Qiansheng standing beside the car?

He seemed to have seen me a long time ago, and as soon as he approached, he smiled and said, "Why are you so happy?"

Of course I could only shake my head and look left and right, but I couldn't see Guan Ting.Meng Qiansheng explained: "Guan Ting didn't come, so I'll borrow her car, it's more convenient."

When I got in the car, I asked, "Are you here again for a business trip?"

"Take annual leave," he said.

I can't believe my ears.

"I heard from my colleagues that there is a good mushroom hot pot in the west of the city." He opened the navigation, "Can I eat this?"

"That one seems a little far away."

He looked at me: "Do you have any plans for the evening?"

"No. Let's go."

We are going through the city, and this weekend, the city center is jam-packed.The volume of the music station was turned down very low. I wanted to drive the window, but found it was locked. Seeing this, Meng Qiansheng helped me put it down: "Too boring?"

"No." I took out a cigarette, shook it between my fingers, and asked him, "Do you want it?"

He shook his head: "Quit."

I opened the car window to the maximum to avoid the smell of smoke from infecting him. I tossed a few words in my heart until I knew them well, determined not to beat around the bush, maybe because I didn’t want to play those greasy tricks with him.Just as he was about to ask, he spoke first: "I broke up with Fang Wenqian."

I was taken aback.

He also realized from my expression that he might have made a mistake, and laughed a bit self-deprecatingly: "I thought you were going to ask."

The warm atmosphere of the reunion of old friends pretended in the carriage was gone, the music on the radio was harsh at this moment, and Meng Qiansheng reached out and turned it down a bit.I was stunned for a long time, and when I came back to my senses, the cigarette ash had hung a long length: "When?"

That's a bad question, but I just want to know.

"Almost half a year."

I let out a soft "oh", and all kinds of emotions flooded my heart for a moment, I felt that my response was too dull, and I didn't know what to say, so I pretended to be relaxed and asked, "Because she doesn't look like Qiu Shuzhen? "

Meng Qian took a look at me and laughed.

The restaurant lobby was quite lively. After ordering a good dish, Meng Qian asked, "Do you want to drink? I don't drink while driving."

Originally, I wanted to say no to drinking, but I felt itchy, so I ordered two bottles of beer.

During the meeting, we only chatted about innocuous things: annoying jobs, the boss who loves to raise goldfish, the local snack street that caters to foreigners, the temples in the outskirts of the city, Xu Miao is obsessed with stock investment again, and Meng Qiansheng keeps giving advice every day. Staff... There are so many things to talk about, which makes the one or two years of ignorance seem insignificant.

Halfway through eating, the phone on the table vibrated, and the caller showed Wen Zhuo.I subconsciously glanced at Meng Qiansheng. He was serving soup and didn't look at me. I picked it up: "Hello?"

"Where are you? You don't know how to call me on the weekend."

"I'm eating."

"I didn't eat either, let's go together. Where are you, I'll drive there."

"I'm eating with someone else."

Meng Qiansheng's eyes had already slid to my face, thoughtful.I turned my face away and turned to him, Wen Zhuo asked, "Who is it?"

"You don't know me." I said, "Let's do this first. I'll call you tomorrow when I'm free."

Wen Zhuo was not happy about being perfunctory, complained angrily, and hung up the phone.I met Meng Qiansheng's gaze, and he smiled slightly: "Eat vegetables."

I feel like I've been doubled down by him.

When I came out after eating, I said that I would take a taxi or take the subway, and Meng Qiansheng must deliver it.Sitting in the co-pilot, with the windows down, the cold autumn night wind made my face icy and hot, I felt like a mania, inexplicably excited, my blood was flowing fast, I couldn't stop trying to get my messy thoughts out of my head Let the driver listen.

Panicked with tightness in my chest, I tore off my tie and unbuttoned my shirt.Meng Qiansheng also put the window on his side to the end, and asked, "Is it still hot?"

"It's okay, it's done."

The phone vibrated again, I thought it was Wen Zhuo again, but it turned out to be a text message notifying me of the winning of the IPO.I suddenly thought of it, and asked casually: "Are you still buying stocks?"

He responded: "What's wrong?"

"The pharmaceutical stocks and military stocks I bought before have not been doing well recently, and I don't plan to cover my positions anymore. I just sell them and buy other stocks. Do you have any suggestions?"

"The drug reform policy that came out at the beginning of the month really had a big impact. If there is any news, it has been thrown out. If I think it, you can look at bank stocks, for example..."

Listening to Meng Qiansheng's words, I don't know what I'm talking about, I can only hear his voice, but I can't understand his content.Instead, the love words he had said on the bed echoed clearly one by one.The back of his head was pressed tightly against the chair cushion, but those words were like bloodthirsty leeches, crazily burrowing into the flesh and swimming in the blood vessels, causing bursts of itches that couldn't be scratched.

I found myself getting a little hard.

Seeing that I hadn't answered, Meng Qian stopped talking and asked with a smile, "Are you sleepy?"

"I'm a little dizzy." I quickly glanced at the steering wheel, not daring to look at his face.

"Uncomfortable? I'll drive slower."

"It's okay, please drive faster, I want to go home and lie down."

If I stay with him any longer, I'm really worried that I'll get drunk and masturbate in front of him.

The car was parked on the small street at the back door of my community.This street is very clean day and night, and it is not yet ten o'clock, and there are not even people in sight.After the car was turned off, the car was so quiet that I could clearly hear my breathing.

"Thank you. I'll treat you to dinner another day. I'll go back first."

I was about to push the door, but he stopped me and asked, "Do you have a boyfriend now?"

I was startled, and the wine seemed to wake up all of a sudden: "Why are you asking this?"

He seemed to be stopped by the question, and said for a long time: "Sorry."

With my right hand still on the car door, I sighed irritably.Sometimes it's not a good thing for two people to be too familiar. Life inevitably needs lies to cover up the ugliness.

"Are you asking this because you plan to get back together, or do you just want to know if you can sleep with me?" I said, "It shouldn't be to satisfy curiosity, I remember that you are not a person who likes to listen to gossip."

It was almost humiliating.

The car was parked under the thick shade of trees, and we sat in the darkness, with only dim outlines.He whispered: "I just... want to see you."

"You see it now," I said.

"Are you still mad at me?"

"Why are you angry? You mean Fang Wenqian?"

He looked at me, as if acquiescing.

"Meng Qiansheng, I told you at the time that I'm not the kind of person who wants two people to pay equally. The subjective things like feelings have to be measured by objective equality. It's like weighing a scale. You add a little, and I will add a little. It’s unrealistic and meaningless. I’m nice to you and loyal to you. That’s voluntary. I don’t like to take this as a condition. On the contrary, force you to love me alone. That’s spiritual kidnapping. And I don’t I think cheating is the bottom line of principle." I smiled, "I slept with someone else too."

"But you were because of impatience—"

"I know, the doctor said that some manic patients have instant promiscuity." I glanced at him and asked calmly, "But you can see what is going on in my head? How do you know that I can't clear it at that time?" wide awake?"

He fell silent.

"Everyone's pursuit of love is different. Some people can't tolerate empathy, some can't tolerate physical infidelity, and some want to be with you all the time. I'm not the same as Fang Wenqian." I said, "Fang Wenqian and Did you break up because you knew about us?"

"She broke up with me when she found out, and I agreed. A month later, she got back with me and said she wanted to marry me. She asked me to tell her the whole truth, so I did."

I can guess the ending.

"You shouldn't have told her," I said.

He smiled: "Yes."

Love without trust becomes a kind of manipulation of the soul, or a spiritual rapist.There is nothing but suspicion, suspicion, encroachment, and never-ending desire for voyeurism.Meng Qiansheng is the same as me, no matter how close the relationship is, you still need a small piece of your own territory. We live in peace together, but in the eyes of others, it may be cover-up, deceit, and sneakiness.

Obviously people are the same species, but they will never understand each other, and the spirit seems to have no connection.

I asked, "Is it difficult for me to speak tonight?"

He said, "Do you want to hear the truth?"

We looked at each other and smiled.

After laughing, there was silence again, and I sighed softly: "Meng Qiansheng, I miss you very much."

He didn't speak, and said after a long time: "When I was with Fang Wenqian, she liked to make me say a lot of nice things."

"Eternal life or something like that?"

He turned to me and asked puzzledly, "Why didn't you say you wanted to hear it?"

"You must be very annoyed when you say such things." I laughed, "It's not good if I don't let you say it, do you have a masochistic mentality?"

He also laughs.

The strength of the wine gradually soaked into my head, I leaned closer, and covered his right with my left hand.He was slightly taken aback, and looked over straight.

I pushed him back into the driver's seat and squeezed through.The driver's seat was too cramped for two men. I sat on him, my knees touched the back of the driver's seat, and my back was pushed up by the steering wheel. I trapped him between my arms and the seat, and looked at him condescendingly.

I lowered my head slightly, and when I spoke, my lips touched his from time to time, and my breath brushed against his face: "I want to sleep with you."

Then I felt him hard.

He took his hand out from between me and him, wrapped it around my waist, rubbed the tip of his nose on my neck, and asked with a smile, "You just want to sleep with me?"

I can't help but kiss him.The burning desire gave me a headache, I bit his ear, and smelled the faint fragrance behind the ear: "Have you changed your perfume?"

He kissed me on the cheek and said vaguely, "Isn't it suitable?"

"It's not suitable." I bit down on his throat until I heard him gasp slightly, "I'll miss you when you're in bed, how can you go to work?"

His left hand came up from the back of my thigh, and I was busy lowering my head to untie his belt. A gust of cold wind blew on the back of my neck. Only then did I realize that the windows on both sides were still wide open, and I repeatedly urged him to close them.He stretched his left hand into my shirt, and said with a smile, "Do you really want to do it in Guan Ting's car?"

I was sweating, and when I heard him say that, I remembered that I was in Guan Ting's car, and I was so anxious that I wanted to scold my mother.His laughter was stuffed in his throat, he kissed me on the face carelessly, and he fastened the belt: "Go to your house."

I don't even know how I managed to stay sane and park my car before taking my pants off and fucking around in the elevator.On the way up the elevator, I scolded myself [-] times in my heart when I rented the [-]th floor.As soon as I got to the door of the house, Meng Qiansheng was pressed against the door and kissed by me. He was still panting and asked me for the key.

I was always told by my family that I was selfish and always only considered my own feelings. When I was a child, I was angry, but now I feel more and more that it seems to be true.When I really loved Meng Qiansheng back then, my passion could melt my bones; now when I wake up from a drunken dream, thinking of him is like thinking of a vast snow field, then when I look back, there is nothing but mist and spring up.

The Butterfly Dream has been running for ten years, and I still love him fervently, or maybe I just pity the self who loves him fanatically alone.

I was lying on the bed, Meng Qiansheng kept kissing me stickyly, and bit the tip of my ear again, I hid, he caught up, I pressed my face on the pillow, the exposed left ear fell into the tiger's mouth, I was impatient, Too lazy to hide anymore, he said, "Help me pass the cigarettes in the pocket of my clothes."

When I lit the cigarette, I hesitated, thinking that Meng Qiansheng didn't like to make the bed smell like smoke, but then I realized that this was my place, so I clicked on the lighter.

Meng Qiansheng looked at me for a while and said, "Give me one."

I showed him the empty cigarette case: "It's gone." I took a breath and said, "Didn't you say quit?"

He didn't speak, but bowed his head and approached me, took a sip from my hand, and said, "Smoking too much will reduce the quality of sex life."

"Really?" I frowned, feeling that the palms and backs of my hands were full of flesh, and it was a bit difficult to make a choice.He took another two or three puffs, I snatched it away from his lips, and took a big puff, because sex is more important, "The last one, I won't smoke it from now on."

He just laughed and posted it to kiss me, I quickly put away the cigarette: "You are not afraid of being burnt."

He didn't answer, but gave a silent kiss.

When I opened my eyes in the morning, the bed beside me was empty. I reached out to touch it, but it was not warm. I was about to curse, when I heard movement from the kitchen.I put on my clothes and got out of bed. There was breakfast on the dining table, and Meng Qiansheng was washing pots in the kitchen.

"Are you awake?" He raised his head and smiled at me, "I don't know what you are used to eating in the morning now, so just cook something."

"Why bother?" He said so, but couldn't hide his smile, "Just buy anything outside the community."

After packing up, I was sitting at the table eating an omelette when I heard someone knock on the door.Meng Qiansheng sat by the door, stood up to open it, and saw that I just lifted my buttocks, and sat back down again, thinking that he was a guest, it was not very good, and finally stood up holding the plate.

Meng Qian opened the door and didn't listen to the words outside the door. He turned his head and looked at me. I didn't understand why, so I suddenly heard the voice outside the door: "He Yujun!"

It turned out to be Wen Zhuo.

When I stepped to the door, Wen Zhuo's gaze shifted from Meng Qiansheng's face to me, with a bad expression on his face.I said to Meng Qiansheng, "This is my friend."

He nodded, smiled at Wen Zhuo, and went back to the dining room.

Wen Zhuo has never been out at night, and his daily life starts at noon. I was a little surprised to see him so early: "Ancestor, what's wrong?"

Instead of answering, he asked, "Did you just have dinner with him yesterday?"

I nodded: "Why did you come here so early in the morning, is there anything wrong?"

"I'm going to the hospital today. I made an appointment. I wanted to call you. Seeing you like this, you probably don't have time." He looked around and looked down at the half-filled omelette on my plate. Didn't have breakfast."

Without waiting for my agreement, he picked up and took a bite, and asked, "Which one bought it? It tastes good."

"What you buy, people make."

He stopped chewing, gave a sour "tsk", curled his lips at me, and turned to go to the elevator.

Back in the dining room, Meng Qiansheng was almost done eating, and asked, "Do you have any plans for today?"

I said no, and asked him where he wanted to go, and I took him around.He said he didn't know, I thought about it, and suggested: "Why don't you go to Longtan Temple, there should be red leaves."

So I drove.

This weekend, there were quite a lot of people in the temple. We didn't enter the incense, but wandered aimlessly around the outside of the temple.There are not too many red leaves, and it looks lively, but it won't be too annoying.Meng Qiansheng was gossiping with me, and accidentally talked about Wei Qiao. When I asked him about his recent situation, Meng Qiansheng said, "He got married early last year."

Thinking of how he was so obedient to that neurotic girlfriend from the Chinese Department, I smiled and said, "Finally, I have finally achieved a positive result with Wu Yixiu?"

Meng Qian shook his head in a loud voice: "It's not Wu Yi, the two of them broke up."

I was startled for a long time before I said, "That's it. I thought Wei Qiao liked her very much."

"I like it. After breaking up, I called and cried with me twice in three days, and I changed jobs."

"Could it be Wu Yi cheating?"

"Not at all." He said, "Wei Qiao said he just couldn't get along."

A red leaf floated down and landed in his arms.He held it in his hand, pinched the stem and twisted it lightly, the red leaves twirled like a small streamer full of thoughts.

"This kind of separation should be difficult to turn back." I said.

Meng Qian asked, "Are we too?"

I smiled.

He stood on the stone steps eroded green by moss, staring at me for a long time.

We all fell silent and no one spoke.In the wind came the sound of drums from the front hall, and the rustling of red leaves. The sound was like falling snow, which made people feel lonely.

There are treasure temples, believers, autumn mountains and cold tiles, but I don’t know if there is any sincerity.

Originally there was no loneliness, only the occasional laughter scattered in the wind; originally there was no loneliness, all because of a spark of love.If I hadn't been so in love, today I dare to confess that this is the love of my life.

I don't know whether you want the eyes of a young man, the lingering passion, or the soul of a wet man. Now I have nothing in my hands, and what I have is just a silence left in the crowd of adults.