To my dear Mr. Meng

I regret coming to this city.

It's just over two hours away from my house by train, but for some reason, it always snows in winter, and the frequency is surprisingly high.In previous years, when it snowed, it was always a pleasant surprise; but now when I see a little snowflake, I have to curse in my heart, "It's snowing again".

The Chinese New Year is coming soon, and I finally survived the company's year-end. Lao Zhou finally sympathized with the people's sentiments. Seeing that I survived the catastrophe, he gave me a raise.

When the subway comes out and transfers to the bus, there is a traffic jam even in the suburbs on a snowy day, and it is almost five o'clock in the afternoon when Wen Zhuo's house arrives.According to his temper, he should have called to remind him to die, but the phone was as quiet as a chicken along the way, and I took it out several times to confirm whether it was in arrears.

After walking in the heavy snow for 10 minutes, he finally arrived at the door of his house. Just after he pressed the doorbell, he heard a faint movement inside.The door opened quickly, but the person who opened the door and I were stunned at the same time.

"Get the fuck out of here!"

Wen Zhuo's voice came from far to near, the person appeared at the door, he was startled when he saw me, he looked away, glared at Yan Xiangyu who was still holding on to the door, and said, "Why the fuck are you still here? Waiting for me to invite you? "

Yan Xiangyu was obviously terrified, his eyes were still red.I stepped into the door and saw the mess in the living room, I couldn't help but thumped in my heart, and asked Wen Zhuo: "What's going on?" He treated me like nothing, so I had no choice but to turn to Yan Xiangyu, "What are you doing?"

Yan said to Yu, "I'm here..."

"This fucking is my place, you can come here whenever you want? Which fucking onion are you?" Wen Zhuo pointed at Yan Xiangyu, "Don't rub your nose against me, the people I've slept with can line up around the city High speed, what do you think you are? Your ass is worth more than others?"

Yan Xiangyu's white face was flushed with suffocation, and he couldn't speak a word.

This is really a bit too much, I was about to persuade him, Wen Zhuo took a step forward first, and pushed Yan Xiangyu out of the door: "You fucking want to be a bitch, don't you, why don't you get out?"

Yan Xiangyu was unprepared, and was pushed to a stagger, almost sitting on the ground.I grabbed him and said, "Wen Zhuo!"

"He Yujun, don't fucking meddle in your business." Wen Zhuo wanted to push me away and grab Yan Xiangyu who was behind me, "Get out of the way, or I'll clean up with you."

I gently pushed Yan Xiangyu out of the door: "Go quickly, don't bully him here." Then I stopped Wen Zhuo and led him into the room, "I have something to tell you, come in. It's alright, he You're leaving, what are you doing?"

Wen Zhuo didn't give in, but Yan Xiangyu had already stood outside the door, and I pulled him to the stairs, but he didn't move away, and followed me upstairs cursing.

I closed the bedroom door, and Wen Zhuo sat down on the bed, wondering whose eighteen generations of ancestors he was still fucking.I didn't say a word, and when he got bored with cursing and closed his mouth, and was about to open the door and go downstairs, he jumped up all of a sudden: "Where are you going?"

"Have you taken your medicine today?" I asked him, "I'll go downstairs and get it for you."

He sat back and said with a dark face, "I'm not sick! What medicine do I take?"

I can't be provoked by mania, I'm only mildly manic, and Meng Qiansheng will walk around me when we quarrel; Wen Zhuo is so manic, he really loses his mind, and it's not uncommon for him to stab people with a knife.I didn't know what to do, so I sat back next to him and said as gently as possible: "Have you changed your medicine? Are you taking derbakin or aripiprazole now?"

He ignored me.

I thought he might not have calmed down yet, so I just kept silent and stared at a European-style vase on the low table in a daze.

I don't know how long it took before he muttered in a low voice: "Aripiprazole."

"I'll get it for you."

Just about to stand up, he grabbed me, but didn't make a sound.I sat back and got closer, he blinked quickly and didn't move, I kissed him lightly, he whispered impatiently: "Get up, don't bother me."

"I'm leaving?"

He glared at me viciously.

I couldn't help laughing: "Don't be angry, I will treat you to dinner tonight."

"Who cares?" He snorted, and after a while, asked again, "What do you eat?"

I stroked his hair and asked, "What do you want to eat?"

"I want to eat Tak Shing Kee's seafood."

"Okay." Although I feel sorry for the money, there is nothing that the young master says that doesn't cost money, and I'm used to it, "Then I'll get you the medicine, you sleep for a while, and go to Dechengji at night."

He hugged me and didn't let go, and unzipped the zipper of my coat with his teeth: "I want to do it."

"You don't fucking want to do it, you haven't taken your medicine." I lowered my head and exchanged a kiss with him, "Wait for me to pour you some water."

He fell back on the bed, rolled around, and rolled up the quilt: "He Yujun, you bastard, you only flirt but don't do it, and there will be problems in the future."

"If you are really hard, you can solve it yourself, don't mess with the bed."

I have been in the door for so long and haven't had time to take off my clothes. I was sweating profusely from the heat of the heater. I took off my coat while going downstairs, and unbuttoned two buttons along the way.Turning to the living room, I found Wen Baorong squatting on the sofa, and Yan Xiangyu was cleaning the glass shards all over the floor with a broom.Hearing the sound, one person and one cat turned around at the same time, Wen Baorong jumped to the ground with a "boom", and was about to step on the broken glass and come towards me. He shouted anxiously, "Don't step on Baorong", fearing that Wen Zhuo upstairs would overhear Arrived, the sound was all pressed against the throat.I took two steps over and picked up the big cat: "Wen Baorong, don't make trouble, why don't you think Wen Zhuo is not enough to bother you?"

Wen Baorong looked at me friendly and gentlemanly, and didn't bark.

I temporarily threw it into the kitchen and closed the glass door behind it.Afraid that it would open the door by itself, I fastened the door from the outside.Back in the living room to look for medicine, Yan Xiangyu was holding a broom and staring at me timidly, I asked, "Why haven't you left yet?"

He murmured, "I'll pack it up right away, and I'll leave after I pack it up."

"No, at worst, I'll call the cleaning company to clean up later." I looked up, saw his face, recalled what I had just said, and explained, "I'm not driving you away, don't get me wrong."

He managed to force a smile.

"There's a lot of traffic jam outside, I'll see you off later, I just want to go shopping too." I smiled at him, and I was able to go upstairs.

After waiting for Wen Zhuo to finish taking the medicine, he insisted on lying on my lap and saying some sticky and disgusting words.When the medicine took effect, he finally felt a little tired, so he rolled back on the pillow and slept soundly.I waited for a while to confirm that he was really asleep. By the way, I hid paper knives and the like in the crevice behind the bookcase, and quietly closed the door and went out.

This went on for an hour.

Wen Baorong has been released by Yan Xiangyu, and he is playing with glue balls on the sofa.The living room was cleaned very clean, and there was no trace of the previous tragic scene.When he saw me, he couldn't help but stop. Wen Baorong didn't know why he ignored him, and put a thick front paw on the back of his hand, urging him silently.

I picked up Wen Zhuo's car keys on the coffee table, and nodded to him: "I've been waiting for a long time, let's go."

He stood up, touched Wen Baorong's furry head again, and said, "Baorong, I'm leaving." He asked me, "Do you want to lock him back to the cat's den?"

"No need. Wen Baorong doesn't touch things randomly." I picked up the rubber ball on the sofa and threw it, and the rubber ball rolled to the carpet in front of the French window on the other side of the living room. Wen Baorong shot out like a gray-black arrow, holding the rubber ball on the carpet. The ball rolled.

"Let's go, I'm going to drive."

On the way to send Yan Xiangyu back to school, he didn't say a word in the co-pilot. During this time, he kept looking at me secretly, and finally couldn't help it. He summoned up his courage and said, "You...are you Wen Zhuo's boyfriend?"

"No." I said.

He was visibly relieved.I thought the kid was a little funny, so I asked, "Why did you make him angry?"

"I don't know." He lowered his head aggrievedly, "I just learned two new dishes, and I wanted to cook them for him, but he got angry at me before I finished speaking."

I couldn't help laughing out loud.As if his tail had been stepped on, he glared at me all of a sudden, with red clouds all over his face, and a look of sternness: "What are you laughing at?"

I shook my head: "Nothing." Then I asked, "Is your school near the second ring road?"

"No, that's the old campus. I live in the new campus, Xinhong Avenue."

Xinhong Avenue and Wen Zhuo's house are one south of the city and the other north of the city. I was a little surprised: "From Xinhong Avenue, it will take an hour by subway, right?"

"An hour and a half," he corrected.

It took three hours to go back and forth by subway, just to cook two newly learned dishes for Wen Zhuo.The time of young people is really worthless, I am a little bit dumbfounded.But there is no way, I have already agreed to others, so I have to send the Buddha to the west.

While waiting for the red light, it started to snow again. In the quiet of the carriage, Yan Xiangyu suddenly said, "Today...thank you."

"Need not."

I put on the cigarette, took out the lighter and was about to light it, when I accidentally caught a glimpse of him frowning slightly, so I put it down again.He was taken aback for a moment, then suddenly embarrassed: "Why don't you smoke anymore?"

"You're not used to the smell of smoke. It's too cold with the windows open."

He scratched his head in embarrassment, and after a while, he said, "I was in the gallery...I'm sorry."

I bit my cigarette and laughed, "What a big deal, I forgot about it long ago."

He asked: "Have you known Wen Zhuo for a long time?"

"More than half a year."

He looked down at his hands on his lap: "I've known him for almost three months, and he never gave me a good face."

"Is there nothing on the bed?"

He opened his eyes, and I couldn't help laughing: "Just kidding."

The car was quiet again for a while, and he said slowly: "Wen Zhuo...he should just be in a bad mood today, right? It's not all because I came here uninvited, right?"

After speaking, he seemed to realize that I was not the right person to ask, and immediately shut his mouth tightly.

I asked: "If he has this kind of temper and never changes, do you still like him?"

He probably didn't expect me to ask this kind of question. He looked at me blankly for a while, then thought about it and said, "Why don't you change it? Even if he isn't with me, if he treats anyone who likes him like this, others will be sad. Ah. When two people live together, don’t they want to make themselves better for each other?”

"Maybe..." I suddenly couldn't think of what to say, and said casually, "The country is easy to change, but the nature is hard to change."

"True love is precious, because you are willing to overcome difficulties and become better for the person you like."

I couldn't help but said, "Do you children like to talk about true love or not?"

He was embarrassed by what I said, and he said with red ears in disbelief: "Aren't you born so old, have you never passed my age?"

"When I was 19, I didn't want such a boring thing."

"What were you thinking at that time?"

"How do you want to have sex with my boyfriend?"

Even his neck was red, and he said angrily, "Why do you all like to talk about doing... going to bed?"

I disagree: "Sex, sex, what is love without sex."

He only left the back of his head for me, and he stopped talking even after being beaten to death.

What did I think about all day when I was 19?

I searched hard in my mind, but I could only find some broken lights and shadows.Large and large snowflakes were blown onto the car window by the wind, blurring the vision. I turned on the wiper, and there was no trace of anything in an instant.

At the end of May, Lao Zhou recruited a new female assistant named Liang Xinru to help out with some chores, and the euphemistic name was "Share for me".I scoffed, but I felt a lot more relieved when I thought that I would no longer have to squeeze into the crowd of parents and hold an ice-cola to greet the sweaty prince and experience the exhaustion of being a father.

On Tuesday, Wen Zhuo asked me for my ID card, and asked if I still had my annual leave. I wondered, "What are you doing?"

He said he invited me to travel.

I have always been difficult to resist the corruption of capitalism, so I readily agreed. Xiao thought about the European style and rain for a while, until the mobile phone received a text message about the flight reservation.

"Qinghai?" I couldn't believe it, "What are you doing there?"

Wen Zhuo kept his hands in his trouser pockets, his eyes covered by the big sunglasses showed an unfathomable expression, chewing gum, and said frankly, "Collecting the wind in the wild."

I punched him: "Repay my annual leave!"

When we got to the airport, I realized that there were not only the two of us, but also four or five people. An elderly aunt was the leader. The aunt's surname was Liu, who was said to be a painter, and the rest were her students.Even Wen Zhuo was very polite to her, calling her Aunt Liu.I felt out of place in the middle, Wen Zhuo pulled me back and said, "Aunt Liu is my mother's friend for many years, she knows me very well, you don't have to be too cautious, we play with us when we get to the place, they don't have time to take care of us."

It was said that they were going to collect scenery, everyone was fully armed, painting tools and cameras were all available, only Wen Zhuo didn't bring anything, he carried a suitcase, and made it clear that he went out for a tour of the mountains and rivers.I asked: "You have been away for a few days, what will your cat do?"

He turned over my collar for me, and said absent-mindedly: "Throw it away at home. I just don't want to raise it after starving to death." After finishing speaking, he looked at my expression for a long time, and said with a smile, "Do you really believe it? I let a child named Yan He went to take care of it, and he was very happy."

"Why did you let him run so far?"

"He's happy, he's here right away. Besides, I don't want to send Wen Baorong to the pet store, don't come back and catch me sick, it's annoying."

I couldn't help laughing: "You're a bastard too, cheating Yan Xiangyu's feelings."

"You're with me, a bastard, all day long, and that's not a good thing."

I was about to beat him, but when I looked up, I found that Aunt Liu was looking at us, so I quickly put down my hands.She smiled kindly at me.

Going out with Wen Zhuo is comparable to ten tortures.

I think I'm not good enough to serve, he is better than me, he can get angry five or six times in a morning.At first I was in a good mood and coaxed him a few times, but later I was also annoyed, so I simply let him go and let him make trouble.

The most irritating thing was at noon today, because the lunch was not good, he just showed his face, I said a few words casually, but the young master was so angry that he pulled away and left immediately.

We have been in the mountains for a few days, the mobile phone signal is poor, the phone can't get through, and I ran back and forth for three hours in a small town the size of a palm, but I couldn't see anyone everywhere. I went back to the restaurant and sat and waited until the sun went down. I walked back to the hotel slowly, unable to cover the back of my neck, which was so painful from the ultraviolet rays of the plateau.

When I took the key and opened the door, I found that the curtains were drawn, and the room was shady and cool. Wen Zhuo was lying comfortably on the bed, looking at the laptop and eating a bowl of sweet fermented grains. When he saw me, he asked, "Where did you go?" ? I searched everywhere and you couldn’t find it. Don’t you know that the phone can’t get through here? Don’t run around.”

I was so angry that I threw down my things, pressed him on the bed and beat him: "You are so fucking handsome, you have food and drink, I have been looking for you all afternoon, do you know? Who is it that is running around? You If Mom gets mad at me again, I will throw your body into the wild, believe it or not?"

He stared wide-eyed, and I couldn't hold my hand tightly, covering his head and yelling "Killer" in the bed. As a result, there were footsteps on the stairs, and I quickly covered his mouth: "What are you yelling? My he Mom didn't even try."

The footsteps went in another direction, and it turned out to be the guests upstairs.I breathed a sigh of relief, and just as I turned around, he suddenly sat up straight and kissed me firmly.

"Crazy!" I wiped the corner of my mouth, "Is it disgusting?"

He was proud: "Disgusting, you still sleep with me?"

He took a nap in the afternoon, but couldn't sleep at night, so he insisted on pushing the bed to the window, saying he wanted to watch the stars.I was awakened by his movement, so I simply sat up, he opened the window, the bed squeaked, and he seemed to be back on the bed again—I couldn't see my fingers in the room, and I could only rely on listening.

He called me over and said, "Come and see, you can still see the Milky Way."

It's chilly here at night, I got out of bed and touched it, tripped over his shoes, fell forward, put my hands on the bed, he screamed and cursed: "You want to crush me to death!"

It was only then that I realized that under the quilt that one of my hands was pressing was his belly, and gloated, "It's what I deserve."

It's rare that he didn't keep pestering him and continued to get angry, saying: "Lie down." After speaking, he moved in so that I could lie down next to him.

I squeezed on his pillow, just in time to see a piece of night sky outside the window.The sky is full of finely divided stars, the densest places where the light gathers together, like silver-gray water, the Milky Way is far dimmer than I thought, just a lace veil covered by black velvet.The night wind came in from the wide open window, and it was a bit cold. I pulled his quilt higher on my body, and he moved slightly, stretched out his hand, and pressed the corner of the quilt tightly for me.There was a faint smell of his perfume in the air.

"A lot of stars." I said.

"Well." He said, "My mother likes to draw starry sky the most. When I was a child, there were pictures of starry sky hanging everywhere on the walls of my house. Some of them were taken by herself, and some were given by others. There are so many of them."

"So you also like to watch the stars?" I thought I didn't see it, this person is quite romantic.

"I don't like it. Didn't it mean that many years have passed since the light of the stars reached the earth? The starry sky seen on the earth is the starry sky many years ago. If I say a star is beautiful, maybe it is real in the universe earlier. Doesn't exist anymore. Don't you feel like a cheated fool?"

I thought for a while and said, "Even if it doesn't exist now, it still existed. Although what you see is not what it is now, it really existed. How can it be considered fake?"

"Aren't you type Ⅱ major depression, and your thoughts are so optimistic?"

"Shut up you."

He laughed twice, and suddenly found my hand under the quilt to hold, and said, "I suddenly thought of something, and I will give it to you when I get back."

"telescope?"

"No."

"what is that?"

"Go back and tell you."

The house fell silent.Looking at the stars, I couldn't help but say: "I suddenly remembered that when I was in high school, our geography teacher showed us a simulated starry sky."

He turned his head and asked, "What is that?"

"It is to use a machine to simulate constellations and the like, and project them out."

"That's so boring, it's all fake."

"But that was the first time I saw stars. I used to think that the starry sky was like that. I didn't expect the real stars to look so far away."

He smiled and said, "How could it be the same? Are you stupid?"

"I was stupid when I was young."

After that, we laughed together.

After another moment of silence, he suddenly asked, "Are you asleep?"

"No."

"How did you meet your ex-boyfriend?"

"Why are you asking this?" I was wondering, subconsciously wanting to look at him, but there was only darkness.

He laughed and said, "Let's gossip. Didn't I tell you all about mine, shouldn't you share it too?"

"It's nothing to say, I've known him since childhood, and then I found out that I like him, and then we got together."

"Two little guesses. Then how many years have you two been talking?"

"Ten years."

Wen Zhuo scolded Sheng Cao, and when he finished talking, he capsized after ten years, and he no longer believed in true love in the gay circle.

I laughed out loud.

It was already very late, and after running outside all day, it didn't take long for me to be quiet, and tiredness came over me.As I fell into a hazy sleep, I vaguely felt Wen Zhuo turn over and kiss the back of my neck, which caused a burning pain.

He asked, "Then do you still like him now?"

I was about to answer, but sleepiness overwhelmed my head first, and I fell into a dream immediately.