To my dear Mr. Meng

The results of the incident were announced on the school's official website and BBS forums, as if the dust had settled.

In the internal meeting, National Political University severely criticized Cha Pengyi for his inappropriate behavior and intimate behavior with Qu Nan during his postgraduate tutoring period, resulting in unnecessary misunderstandings, and asked all teachers and staff to take warning and strengthen the teaching style of the university teaching staff To build teachers' morality and rectify discipline, teachers should also care about students' physical and mental health in their spare time.At the same time, I will compensate Qu Nan's family 25 yuan, hoping that they will not appeal to the procuratorate again, so as not to cause more serious adverse effects on the school.

The homepage of the forum was still full of discussions, so I closed my sore eyes and closed the webpage.

As for my own question - when the last article was published, my name was stuck next to "Cha Pengyi".

All are happy.

However, I clearly felt that I had bumped my head against an invisible iron wall.

Qu Nan's death should not be so perfunctory.In other words, the more real thought in my heart is: I have made an irreversible choice, and I must make the price I paid meaningful.

No one in this world would wish to draw water from a bamboo basket in vain.

I tried to find Qu Nan's parents again.I don’t know if someone said something to them. They have always stubbornly believed that I was slandering Qu Nan and pouring dirty water on her——the daughter was sexually harassed and even assaulted by her teacher. Every word fell into her ears. I can't wait to take a knife to cut off this piece of meat on the sideburns immediately, it's like parading in the street with my clothes naked.

However, they didn't answer my calls, and I avoided seeing them when I came to the door. Qu Nan's father told me to leave through the door, otherwise he would call the police.A few days later, I went to that small hotel again, and the front desk told me that the guest in that room had already checked out.

I was suddenly lost.

On the way back to school, I ran into Luo Xilin.He studied classical philology, but now he also works at Wenjin International, and he likes to call me a brother.When he saw me, his eyes lit up, and he pulled me to a secluded place: "Where are you going?"

"Go to the cafeteria to have a meal, and go to the administrative building later."

"Why are you going to the administration building?"

"Ask where Qu Nan's parents are. I can't find them."

"Oh, brother, you still have to take care of this mess? Isn't this matter already settled? It's said that your senior sister Qu has a mental problem, and her own diary only said that Professor Cha asked her to revise the paper repeatedly, and occasionally she was a little intimate Action." He raised his brows and gave a strange smile, "Hey! Men. Do you think any male tutor is surrounded by female students every time? There are so many male students like us who touch their hair and pinch their faces. , you have to stand aside, who the hell will take care of you."

"Impossible." I shook my head, "There must be something wrong inside."

"Hey! You." He looked at me from head to toe, as if he had never seen me before, "Do you know that you are about to graduate? Did your supervisor correct your thesis? When will you not be able to seek justice? , You have to pick this point, you are gambling with your future. To put it bluntly, let alone a graduate student like us, so what if you are a doctor? It doesn’t matter if you have no background. You don't need to stretch, just blow on it and you can kill it. Then again, Qu Nan's parents didn't agree, why are you still biting an outsider who can't beat you? Don't feel sorry, I'm a bystander, see In my eyes, you are considered as benevolent and righteous. There is not enough evidence, and Qu Nan himself is gone, so what can we do?"

He paused, and then said: "I just said that because I took you as a friend. There are so many unfair and immoral things in this world. If you want to be so cynical and meddle in everything, Avalokitesvara will not be able to control it." come!"

I didn't talk to him, and I didn't look at him, I just stared at the gravel road under my feet.This attitude probably made him feel that I was not interested in oil and salt, so he curled his lips and spread his hands: "Well, I'm spitting in vain. I guess you don't like my cowardly words, so I won't say anything, don't go Take it to heart. I'll go first, see you at the company tomorrow."

I nodded: "No. See you tomorrow."

As soon as he left, the setting sun fell on me immediately.The light is a melting dark orange, and deep black oval shadows appear under the buttocks of the pebbles on the road, like a smoky gray blanket full of holes eaten by moths.

Tiredness suddenly came out from the cracks in the bones, and the pain in the depth of the ear canal was like a needle prick, as if it had been stabbed right through.

The insomnia didn't get worse, but strangely, it didn't get better either.I couldn't stand Mr. Meng's questioning every night, and lied that my head didn't hurt anymore. I bought some aspirin behind his back and threw it at the company, and it flew by like a week.

That night there was a sudden storm and it was pouring rain outside the window. I put all the clothes on the balcony in and sat on the sofa watching TV with Mr. Meng to pass the time.Before going to bed, I habitually glanced at my phone before turning it off, and found that there were many text messages from different strange numbers.

"Are you the He Yujun who reported it?"

"That's the end of Qu Nan's case? There must be something inside, why didn't it just go away?"

"Niu, buddy, dare to expose my teacher, I support you!"

"Spreading rumors will kill the whole family!"

I read one by one, almost forgot to take a breath.

I never recall giving out my phone number on any occasion.

There was a strong wind outside the window, and the sound of doors and windows being slammed hard came from the depths of the distant night, thump, thump, thump—the woman's vague exclamation was mixed with the cold sound of thousands of leaves brushing, like countless presumptuous thumping dogs. The ghost of the door.Mr. Meng turned off the computer, turned around and saw that I was still sitting on the bed, and couldn't help asking: "Are you still asleep?"

"Oh—I'm going to sleep now."

When I lifted the corner of the quilt and pressed the phone, another new message jumped in and was just opened.Compared with the many long-winded and long-winded articles before, the short words of this article immediately fell into my eyes.

"Are you gay?"

All the blood in my body seemed to be sucked out by an invisible pump.

"Why are you so focused?"

Mr. Meng leaned over, his hair was fluffy, and he rubbed his head against my face. Almost at the same time, I exited the inbox and pressed the exit button firmly, and Lan Yingying's shutdown animation flashed by.He looked suspicious, and he still maintained a half-kneeling posture on the bed. His soft breathing made my face itchy slightly, and I was so close that I could clearly see the stiff muscle lines on his face due to the hesitation.

"Nothing. Go to sleep," I said.

I took advantage of the opportunity to touch his face, comfortingly kissed him on the cheek and the corner of the mouth.His skin was hot, and it wasn't long before I realized it was my own lips that were too cold.

I vaguely remember that I had a nightmare all night. When I woke up, the scene in the dream flashed in my mind, and I didn't have time to react.Perhaps it was only four or five o'clock, and the room presented a kind of watery darkness, and the corners of the eyes hurt, so I could barely make out the sharp-edged lines of the furniture.

I turned over, trying not to make a sound.The area around his chin was greasy, and when he wiped it with the back of his hand, there was a layer of sticky and hot sweat.Simmons seemed to be too soft, like a wet clam mouth, sucking me in hard.This thought instantly dominated my five senses. My ears heard the rustling sound coming from under the bed. It was the ghost's long nails scratching the floor, which must still be covered with dust; from time to time, there was a faint smell of rust in my nose. , What is the smell of saliva from the monster's wide-open mouth.

I simply didn't want to stay on the bed for a second, but Mr. Meng's silhouette stretched across my eyes in the darkness, blocking my thoughts of running away, so I locked myself on the bed in fear, letting the air slow my nerves one by one.

Most of the time, I don't remember being gay.Occasionally, I forgot to look outside and caught someone else's gaze, and then I remembered to retract my movements awkwardly, but my heart was full of hatred for that person, and I blamed them why they had to see it at this time.The hatred was so vicious and ferocious that even in the next few minutes, I would involuntarily repeat in my mind the scene of this innocent passer-by dying unexpectedly. Joyful, the blood flowed all over the limbs and bones, so excited that even the blood vessels were slightly itchy.

It felt like a person who had been disfigured for a long time, suddenly accidentally saw his own unsightly ugliness in the mirror, and smashed the mirror to pieces in a rage.We all know that there is nothing wrong with mirrors, but forgiveness is a bad habit carved in the bones of ordinary people.

On the road with few people, sometimes Mr. Meng walked well holding hands with me, and when someone approached, he suddenly put his hand away, as if his fingers were burned by fire, sometimes it was me who did it.One night, we passed by a couple, and he let me go without a trace as usual. The girl was half nestled in the arms of her boyfriend, and the two of them whispered together, giggling like a string The sweet and greasy sugar bubbles, I felt a sharp hatred like a knife.

The person walked away, and I tried to ask Mr. Meng in a calm tone: "Why did you leave me just now?"

He was sending text messages without raising his head and said, "Someone is here."

"Anyway, I didn't steal or rob, and I'm not an acquaintance, so what does it matter?"

He raised his head and glanced at me, first unconsciously frowned, and then quickly opened, and said lightly: "Yes."

So the second time he didn't let go.

It was a 24-year-old young man at that time, he didn't pay attention at first, but when we walked into the range of the street lights, he immediately showed a look of surprise, his eyeballs were hanging around our necks like nooses, and they were still tightening. A little out of breath, subconsciously withdrew his hand from Mr. Meng, trying to loosen his neckline.As soon as I flinched, I immediately felt the pressure on my hands. I turned my head to look at Mr. Meng. He was looking straight ahead, as if he was looking at the man, and he seemed to be looking at a farther intersection, but he didn't look at me.

The man caught my gaze, his eyeballs glanced sideways, and naturally turned to contempt, his lips moved up and down, muttering something silently, as if he was just licking the food residue on his teeth with his tongue.I struggled a little bit, and finally got rid of it. The shadow that was dragged across the street folded its forearms, which was already a kind of absurd desire to hide.When the man passed us, he put his chin in his mouth and sucked his nose sharply, making one wonder if he had severe rhinitis or pharyngitis.

Mr. Meng turned half of his face in my direction, the corner of his lips moved, and the shadow extended, which finally turned into a cold mockery.

And the exposed eye is the tide with stars, as if the spring river is passionate, just right.

After Mr. Meng went out, I turned on the computer.For some reason, I unconsciously opened the BBS forum of National Chengchi University.

It was a little slow to log in to the forum outside the school. The full name and school logo of Zhengda University jumped out first, followed by the background of the forum, the category directory of the forum, and finally the titles of the densely packed posts on the homepage.

My heart was beating wildly for no reason, and I clenched the mouse in my hand.

I saw my name immediately.

To be precise, almost every title has my name on it.

"The Inside Story of the Qu Nan Incident: The Personal Situation of the Real-Name Informant He Yujun""

""The school has announced it, can it be considered that He Yujun of the Faculty of Arts is spreading rumors?""

"For detailed information on Professor Cha Pengyi of the Faculty of Letters and informant He Yujun, see the second floor"

""The case of Qu Nan is over, is it because the school is deliberately covering up bad professors?""

""Chengda University, please give us a clear explanation, we have the right to know the truth""

A headline with a ridiculously high number of hits and replies suddenly jumped out.

""A Little Insider About He Yujun I Know."

I turned on the phone and clicked on it by the way.

"I saw a lot of students say that Qu Nan and He Yujun are boyfriend and girlfriend. I don't know about this. What I know is that He Yujun is gay, and his cohabitant is Meng Qiansheng, who is in the second class of the finance major of the University of International Business and Economics, and his student number is XXXXXXXXXX. Meng Qiansheng and He Yujun went through the check-out procedures when they were juniors, and they rented a room in Jinxiu Community. The address is No. [-], Unit [-], Building [-]. If you don't believe me, you can ask yourself. And their roommates accidentally bumped into them outside and acted intimately. , is by no means an ordinary friendship. If He Yujun and Qu Nan are boyfriend and girlfriend according to other students, how can this be explained? Excuse me for making a conspiracy theory. When you condemn the victims, don’t forget He Yujun was the only one who testified about this incident from beginning to end. Could it be that none of Qu Nan’s classmates and friends had an insider? Could there be other inside stories about how we were deceived in Qu Nan’s case?…”

Unread text messages flew in like a snowflake, the ringtone drove straight in, and a dark strange number appeared on the screen.