male god effect

104.

Chai Jiu stood at the door with a complicated expression, looking at the messy room and this absurd scene.

He was ready to face all possible scenes with a calm attitude, but he didn't expect at all——

There was neither a woman in white wearing glasses and a medical record, nor a woman in black wearing high heels and holding a whip in the room.

Nothing.

There was only Ji Mi, who was panting and limp on the ground, holding a long whip in his hand.

The Creator regretfully declares that this is the truth of everything.

Whether it's the so-called Ark or Miss Noah.

They are all just a lonely, lonely, empty, sad teenager who cannot accept his own sexuality. In countless dark nights, he wants to talk, vent, and get help, and in that void, A beautiful phantom constructed in the mind with the help of the Creator.

If you are ashamed to speak, if you dare not speak, if you are anxious and troubled, if your emotions are out of control.

Then imagine a friend who can help you analyze the problem and calm yourself down.

If it is empty and lonely, if it is lust/fire/burning, if it is guilt and self-blame, if it is self-loathing.

Then imagine a sex/partner who can help you vent your desires and make your conscience feel better.

The boy said so.

In this way... in this way... in this way... you can maintain the most perfect appearance as always, you can not disappoint anyone, you can not hurt anyone.

You may have already seen the truth behind this little word game.

Ark represents the angel, Noah represents the devil, when the two are combined into one is——

Noah's Ark

At the end of the day, Noah's Ark carried the last hope of mankind.

In the Bible, the righteous use that ship to save all things in the name of God.

In reality, Ji Mi used that boat to save herself.

But now, the ship is sinking.

105.

Chai Jiu discovered that Ji Mi has no lower limit when it comes to self-torture.

You often think that what you see in front of you is enough, but you can never imagine what he will turn himself into next time.

His entire back, from his shoulders to his waist, was covered with bloodstains from the whip. The hot wax oil dripped on the wound, and soon solidified. The dark red bloodstains and the low-temperature white wax set off each other, making it even more shocking.

Chai Jiu suddenly realized how limited his knowledge of the world was. He never imagined that human beings have evolved so many incredible things. His shallow knowledge is no longer enough to understand everything in front of him.

Ji Mi's body was covered with all kinds of strange props, he just curled up on the ground panting like that, his body twitched uncontrollably, and made a sound like a kitten, he didn't know whether it was pain or joy.

Chai Jiu couldn't name any of those strange and terrifying things. He felt as if he had entered some hellish concentration camp, where evil deeds against humanity were everywhere.

Empty wine bottles, syringes, pills, guns... pocket knives, electric batons, handcuffs...

There is everything on the floor.

Some can be named, and some are so unbelievable that people can't name them.

Chai Jiu knew that this person had a hobby, but for the first time he discovered that what he had shown all this time was just the tip of the iceberg.

Ji Gu, who didn't seem to be awake yet, licked his fingers, unconsciously showing that annoying, frivolous smile.

He seemed to have lost his soul, he didn't know who he was, he didn't know where he was, he only knew to follow his instinct to find a little bit of sweetness from endless pain.

But one glance at the young man saw through his disguise.

He was trembling with shame, with panic, with bewilderment.

But even after that, he still didn't have the slightest intention to restrain himself, as if he had just broken his can, and kept that unbearable look useless to the end.Even when the young man grabbed his hair fiercely and lifted him up roughly, he raised his face to meet the other party's slap and groaned unconsciously.

"You are really..." Chai Jiu's voice was filled with indescribable disappointment, "You're really... a bitch."

He obviously looked vicious, but his voice kept choking, as if he was about to cry.

"Are you so cheap, so bad?"

I was hated by...

Ji Mi thought dazedly.

Perhaps in the past few years, he has been looking forward to this, waiting for someone to open the door, looking forward to being discovered, looking forward to being humiliated, looking forward to being deprived, looking forward to being destroyed...

He indulges, he enjoys, he welcomes... welcomes the one who can destroy him, and he is about to succeed.

Then a glass of cold water was poured directly on his face.

"I'll give you 1 minute to remove all the mess."

Chai Jiu held the glass, took a deep breath for a moment, and said calmly.

"I hate three kinds of people the most, alcoholics and drug addicts, and - disobedient brats, you happen to have all three."

He pointed to a corner not far away, and spoke in an uncompromising tone.

"You stand there for me."

105.

Ji Mi was wearing a shirt, and stood tremblingly facing the wall.

"No, no, no...don't do this."

He hooked the corner of Chai Jiu's clothes with his fingers, and kept her with a pale face.

"You can't, you can't...don't do this, I don't want to...you hit me, you hit me..."

As soon as his knees softened, he almost instinctively wanted to kneel down, but Chai Jiu stared at him fiercely, and barely straightened up again.

"Don't go... hit me... whatever you want..."

For people like Ji Mi who seek happiness in pain, all whipping and scolding are actually rewards in disguise, and the way to really torture them and make them suffer is to ignore them.

This is the truth that it took Chai Jiu a long time to figure out.

Don't pay attention to it, discard it like a pair of shoes, don't even look at it, say a word, or touch it.

He just calmly took the corner of the clothes from the opponent's hand, turned and left without looking back.

Ji Mi's world collapsed.

He just faced the wall like that, standing in the corner, like a child abandoned by adults.

"Look, after screwing everything up, you're still alone."

Ji Gu squeezed her throat and murmured in a female voice.

"But why is that so?"

He pressed his forehead against the cold wall weakly, and asked with a thinner and gentler female voice.

"Yeah... why?"

He trembled and regained his male voice, but it seemed as if all the strength in his body had been drained, and he could no longer lift up his spirits.

"You guys, let's go."

He hugged his body tightly and muttered to himself.

"Let me think, let me think..."

Chai Jiu looked at him from a distance, recalling that afternoon conversation not long ago.

The chestnut-haired woman wearing a black gauze top hat, wearing a simple and elegant black tea party dress, and wearing an ancient wedding ring on the ring finger of her left hand holding a parasol.

The umbrella tilted slightly, exposing the woman's deep blue eyes.

"How are you, Uncle and Auntie?"

Chai Jiu hesitated, not knowing what to call this lady whose facial features were carved out of a mold.

"I know about you and Kitten." The woman said while holding the cane, as if holding an ancient Western rapier.

Take it easy and calm.

Chai Jiu had a premonition that he was getting close to the core of the problem.

106.

"Kitten's first tooth erupted four months and sixteen days after she was born."

Ms Blaise said.

Back then he was lying in his stroller grinning at everyone who passed by.It was accidentally photographed by a photographer and appeared on the cover of a magazine.

The magazine is very old, and the picture is a bit blurry, but it can still be seen vaguely, a mixed-race baby in a diaper, ignorant and curious, looking at the camera with wide blue eyes and smiling innocently, pure and ignorant She looks silly, and she doesn't look like a sophisticated person when she grows up.

"Kitten likes to be photographed, as long as he sees the flash, he will wriggle around happily and can't stop dancing."

Mrs. Blaise looked at the black tea in the porcelain cup and smiled.

"When he was born, he was as skinny as a kitten and lived in the incubator for many days. The whole family was worried that he would not survive. The first person to call him Kitten was his uncle, and he explained—' In China, grown-ups would call weak children kittens and puppies, hoping that God would not take him away from them'."

I grow up like a cat, Little Mole added silently in his heart.

"Kitten was born No. 16 months before he finally spoke, and the first word he said was 'Vivian'."

The moment she heard that name, Chai Jiu's heart skipped a beat.

"Not 'Mummy', not 'Dad', but 'Vivian', his twin sister."

When the woman smiled, she was almost exactly the same as Ji Mi.

"Kitten has been doting on her sister since she was a child..."

First time babbling, first time crawling on a wool carpet, first time celebrating a birthday, first time stumbling on the lawn, first time riding a toddler bike in the yard, first time pulling my sister His hand was chased all over the garden by the neighbor's big dog.

What each photo records is nothing more than the ordinary and trivial things in the growth of a boy, and each ordinary picture freezes a period of time that is unknown to outsiders.

The first time I went to school with a backpack, the first time I participated in the Boy Scout meeting, the first time I camped and had a picnic on the grass, the first time I played the piano, the first time I practiced kendo, the first time I jumped into the swimming pool, the first time It was the first time to step into the boxing ring, the first time to wear a gold medal, the first time to take graduation photos, the first time to host the graduation ceremony in front of the rostrum...

That was the childhood and adolescence that belonged to Mr. Mao, with parents and elders, childhood sweethearts and bamboo horses, buddies and partners, mentors and friends.

Only there is no Chai Jiu.

For Mr. Cat, he is an accident in his life.

To Ms Blaise, he was an outsider in her life and that of the family.

"My life so far has been like an earthquake."

She added.

"you know what I mean."

Few mothers are able to remain absolutely calm after their sons come out.

"I know, ma'am."

Chai Jiu said softly, lowering her eyes.

"Because . . . I think my mother would be as worried as you are if she were alive."

His mind flicked over the small but warm piano room, over the old piano, and finally settled on the young woman in the long skirt.

Sometimes the simplest sentence is enough to break down all solid walls and fortresses, enough to decide all seemingly irreversible facts.

The softest and hardest thing in the world is a motherly heart that pities the child.

107.

Chai Jiu didn't expect that Ji Mi would have no resistance to standing in a corner.

In just two hours, it was shrunk into a ball like chaff.

It's no wonder, no matter what, Ji Mi is also a noble young master who has been pampered since childhood, who would dare to treat him like this.

Even if you make a mistake, you will never be criticized, let alone punished.

Besides, he had always been the perfect, good boy who pleases grown-ups.

When he told him to come over, he didn't even dare to look back, he just stood obediently as if he was hallucinating.

Sure enough... You have to take steps to clean up the bear children, can't you be too aggressive?

Chai Jiu sighed, unconsciously relaxed a little, patted his leg and said.

"Come here, I won't beat you up."

Sometimes, he really felt that Ji Mi was like a little girl.When you are good, you are really good, but when you are angry, you are really angry.

Chai Jiu raised her hand, as if smoothing her hair, and gently touched the other's bruised back.

Ji Mi, who was crawling on his lap, looked at him with red ears, flattered.

"Let's talk when you think about it."

The boy said while giving him medicine.

"How long you talk, how long I listen."

From now on, you don't need a fantasy partner anymore, share your pain with me.

"If you don't know how to start, let's start with Vivian," the young man gently peeled off a piece of wax on Ji Mi's back, "How did she die?"

Ji Mi's face lost all color in an instant, the young man said flatly above his head.

"You killed her, didn't you?"

The author has something to say: Halfway through writing, I found that the tail was too long, so I posted it twice, and I will continue to update the part tomorrow