Spring Summer Autumn Winter

During the seven days of the National Day holiday, Yang Siyuan took Li Yu'an to the Yangtze River Bridge four times, and finally finished the bridge for the last time.Li Yu'an seemed to like the scenery of the Yangtze River very much. When he was sitting on the ferry, he didn't even look at Yang Siyuan, but only focused on the river view. Sometimes he couldn't even hear Yang Siyuan calling him.

It was the first time in Yang Siyuan's life that he was jealous of a river, so he didn't want to see the river any more, and took him to school, to the Yellow Crane Tower, to Hubu Lane, to East Lake, anyway, just to get away from that broken ditch. farther away.

Li Yu'an had a great time, although it wouldn't be obvious on his face, but Yang Siyuan could tell.

This should be the first time Li Yu'an left that small county to see the outside world.

Yang Siyuan thought that if Li Yu'an changed his parents, he would definitely become the best person in the world.

But if that were the case, maybe they would never meet again.He couldn't imagine what he would be like without Li Yu'an.

On the last night of the holiday, Yang Siyuan was extraordinarily gentle, perhaps because Li Yu'an had to take a long train ride the next day, or perhaps because he suddenly cherished their acquaintance.

In the dark night, the light outside the window came in through the gap in the curtain, illuminating Li Yu'an's eyes impartially.

Yang Siyuan clasped his thighs around his waist, kissed his neck while slowly breastfeeding.

It was rare for him to be so gentle on the bed, but every stroke of his was unprecedentedly deep, as if he wanted to directly smash into the heart.Li Yu'an was not used to it, but he couldn't deny the satisfaction it brought him. His body responded involuntarily, wrapping Yang Siyuan tightly, and even his waist arched a slight arc impatiently.

There was no place to release his emotions, so he could only hug Yang Siyuan, sticking to his scorching skin that was covered with a thin layer of sweat.

The night is getting thicker, like a splash of ink slowly smearing in the sky, and then a few stars are lit, facing the neon on the ground far away.

Yang Siyuan leaned on Li Yu'an, panting continuously, and only after his breathing stabilized did he ask, "Does your back hurt?"

After shaking his head, Li Yu'an realized that Yang Siyuan couldn't see, so he whispered back in his ear, "It doesn't hurt."

Yang Siyuan chuckled, and said helplessly: "I'm just asking for nothing...it won't hurt, I won't call you anymore, this is called serving you."

It seems to make sense.Li Yu'an thought about it for a while, and felt that in Yang Siyuan's eyes, he was like an untouchable treasure.

"But... it seems like every time you do it, it's like serving someone. Oh, except for the first time."

Li Yu'an: "..."

How does this make people feel that the two of them indulge in sex every day?They only did it four or five times during the seven-day vacation, okay?

That seems to be quite a lot.

Yang Siyuan touched Li Yu'an's waist, and said to himself, "I thought you were a very gentle person when I was young."

"...gentle?" Li Yuan was taken aback.

"Yeah." Yang Siyuan turned over, lying on the side lost in thought, as if recalling the past. "You may not feel it yourself, but you are really gentle. I have been thinking about when I first fell in love with you. The more I think about it, the more I feel that I may have fallen in love with you on the first day."

"How can it be so exaggerated..."

Yang Siyuan did not respond to him, and said slowly to himself: "Really, you are different from everyone I have ever met. I have thought about it many times, and it seems that there are many times when I feel a little bit moved, but the age I just didn’t feel it.”

Li Yu'an was silent for a while, and finally asked, "...when?"

He still wanted to know, how did Yang Siyuan like him?Why do you like it?He still wants the answers to these questions, which can at least give him some real sense of being loved, and also drive away some insecurities that worry about gains and losses.

"When you drove me by bike, when you bought me breakfast, when you gave me milk tea and milk, when you sang to me... Oh yes," Yang Siyuan's tone suddenly became serious, and he turned to look at the Li Yuan said seriously. "In the future, you are not allowed to sing Thousands of Miles Away, and if you sing again, you will sing me away."

For this reason, Li Yu'an wanted to laugh a little, but thinking about the lyrics of that song and his mood when they first separated, he couldn't laugh anymore.He originally wanted to continue asking, but he didn't know which nerve in his brain was wrong again, and the words turned around: "Then what are you singing?"

Didn't they dig a hole for themselves?Yang Siyuan will give him a serious answer?

Sure enough, Yang Siyuan's eyes lit up, his eyes rolled around and he said, "Can you sing "You Will Marry Me Today?"

Three black lines suddenly appeared on Li Yu'an's forehead.

"……Won't."

"I still don't know how to sing such an old song, I will teach you as I teach you." Yang Siyuan cleared his throat and began to sing in a low voice. "The warm spring flowers take away the sentimentality of winter, the breeze brings romance, and every love song is suddenly full of meaning..."

The lyrics of this song are playful and the tune is very cheerful. If someone else sang it, Li Yu'an might think that person is pretending to be tender or something, but Yang Siyuan's singing of this song doesn't seem to violate harmony at all, and there is even some cuteness. .

The bouncing notes bumped into his heart like deer, knocking over the honey pot hidden in the corner, the sweetness started from the heart and spread all over the body, turning into a shallow smile.

"Does it sound good?" After singing, Yang Siyuan asked with a smile.

It sounds good, but it's absolutely impossible for Li Yu'an to sing this kind of song!

"Um……"

"Then you sing it to me, I sing a line and you learn a line?"

"No." Li Yu'an resolutely refused.

Yang Siyuan seemed to have guessed the ending a long time ago, he didn't seem surprised, he just curled his lips and muttered: "I just want to hear you act like a baby, it's so difficult."

Li Yu'an: "...you go take a bath."

"No, I'll wash with you later."

"Then I'll go now..."

Li Yu'an turned on the bedside lamp and was about to get up when Yang Siyuan grabbed his waist and pulled him down.Yang Siyuan leaned forward again, kissed him, and then stared at him quietly, not knowing what he was thinking.

"...What's wrong?" Li Yu'an asked.

Yang Siyuan suddenly stretched out a finger, put it on his forehead, then gently brushed it down, and finally stopped on his lips.

"You can't sing, can you understand the words?" He touched Li Yu'an's lower lip and asked softly. "I want to ask you... If one of us is a girl, if we are ordinary heterosexuals, if I propose to you one day, will you marry me...or marry me?"

His eyelashes swept a shadow under the reflection of the light, and his eyes were hidden in it, with a faint warm color still shining.

The air seemed to have lost the power to transmit sound. Li Yuan watched his mouth open and close, and knew what he was talking about, but when the words reached his ears, it suddenly fell silent, making him unable to speak. Know the meaning of those words.

After being dull for a long time, he spliced ​​those words together and said it silently in his heart.

Will you marry me, or marry me?

Is it the kind of "married" and "married" in marriage?Is it the kind of "marriage" that lasts forever?

He often hears these words, but they have nothing to do with him, just like he often sees the clouds in the sky, but he can't touch them in this life.So much so that when these words entered his ears, he lost the ability to recognize them.

He was a little confused, and instinctively said, "What... what?"

Yang Si moved closer, rubbing the tip of his nose and lingering on his lips.

"I asked you would you like to be with me forever?"

The warm breath scratched Li Yuan's face, like the monsoon from the sea, waking him up in summer.

"We won't break up, and we won't leave without saying goodbye. We will be recognized, get married, and be together forever." Yang Siyuan was talking to him, but he seemed to be talking to himself. "This answer is very important to me, would you like it?"

Willing, willing, willing, willing...

Are there any religious scriptures in this world that only have these two words?If so, Li Yu'an must be the most devout believer at this moment.

But he can't be willful, there are still many things for him to consider.

"But... your parents..." Every syllable came out, thinking that a knife was spit out from his mouth, with the blood on his heart.

"I'll ask you, do you want to?"

Yang Siyuan asked softly.In a trance, Li Yu'an seemed to feel that Yang Siyuan wiped away all his blood, stitched up the wound for him, wrapped him with body temperature, and warmed his cold body.

Yang Siyuan was waiting for his answer, probably since a long time ago.

Li Yu'an looked into his eyes, held his hand tightly, and decided to join the teaching at this moment.

"willing."

Yang Siyuan was silent for two seconds, and then couldn't help laughing.

……

When school started, Yang Siyuan didn't ask Li Yuan to see him off, but now that Li Yuan was leaving, he insisted on seeing him off.Li Yu'an couldn't hold him back, so he could only watch him skip class all morning and wander around on the subway and bus.

Li Yu'an suddenly began to hate the development of technology. If there is no means of transportation, they can now walk to the station slowly and enjoy a long time together.But without these tools, he can't come here to meet him, which is really tangled.

"When you go back, you have to take a good rest before going to work, and don't work overtime. The big deal is to earn less. If you have no money, you still have me. I spend less money, and I can have a lot of leftovers every month." At the station entrance, Yang Siyuan He also took his hand and asked.

"It's getting cold at home, remember to add more clothes, oh, and remember to take out the quilt to dry..."

"Be sure to send me a message when you get home, keep an eye on your phone in the car..."

Barbara, it's as long-winded as if you are telling a child.But seeing him like this, Li Yu'an felt very warm in his heart and very reluctant.

As soon as he was distracted, Yang Siyuan poked his face: "What are you looking at, do you remember what I told you?"

"Remember." He nodded.

"What was the last sentence I said?"

"..."

Yang Siyuan pretended to be angry, and patted his forehead: "I'm not good-looking, and you still see my gods. I said - remember to write me a love letter, you know?"

Li Yu'an: "...Oh."

Love letter... How could he write such a thing?

The ticket checking time was approaching, Yang Siyuan checked the zipper of his backpack for the last time, and when he looked up, he gave him a kiss.

"Okay, let's go, you won't be able to catch up later, you can run over."

Li Yu'an glanced at his watch, nodded and turned around, trotted for two steps and then stopped suddenly, regained his senses and looked at Yang Siyuan.

"What's wrong? Lost something?"

Just as Yang Siyuan was about to go forward, he heard Li Yuan say in a slightly louder voice than usual: "You look good." After speaking, he ran away without waiting for a response.

Yang Siyuan reacted in place for a while, and then he suddenly laughed uncontrollably after he realized what he was talking about. While laughing, he looked at his running back, feeling that his heart was being led away by him.

Resign to fate, this life is locked by him firmly, and the key has been thrown into the Pacific Ocean.

……

A few days after the holiday, Yang Siyuan sent a message to Chen Limei: "Mom, don't call me for the living expenses of these two months."

Chen Limei, who usually doesn't reply to messages very much, replied quickly this time: "Did your father give it to you?"

"...No, I didn't touch the money he gave."

"Why don't you spend it? Take it for you. It's what he should have. If you don't spend his money, you don't want mine. Then where did you get the money?"

Here it is, it's time to have a good talk with her.

Holding his mobile phone, he took a deep breath, considered his words and said, "I earn money from painting for magazines. It's relatively stable now, and there are many private orders, so living expenses are no problem at all."

Sure enough, there was silence for a while, maybe it was better to delete, delete, modify, and I don’t know how to say it.

"Drawing again, the study is so tight, don't delay?"

Yang Siyuan hasn't planned to tell her his career plan yet, for such a big matter, he has to proceed step by step.

"Don't delay, the grades haven't dropped a lot."

"That's fine, it's time to get ready for an internship, don't stress too much."

"Well... let's see when the time comes."

He didn't think about internships, he wanted to directly go to the studios he likes for interviews. As far as his current ability is concerned, he is actually quite sure that there are a few relatively small studios.

If he succeeds, he will have the confidence to completely change careers, he will be financially independent, and he will be able to let Chen Limei know that he is no longer a child she can control.

He had to be alone, and on that basis, coming out would be easier.

Thinking about it, I feel that this road is so difficult. It is not only muddy, but also full of thorns. If you take a wrong step, you may be bruised all over your body.

But who made way for Li Yuan?Even if it is a vast abyss, mountains of swords and seas of fire, he has to cross it.

Since then, he has had more and more chat records with Chen Limei. In addition to contacting the relationship, he also infiltrated some information to her intentionally or unconsciously-his thoughts on the future, current employment philosophy, mother-child relationship. A healthy relationship should exist between...

For Chen Limei, all of this was very rebellious and subversive. Every time the two of them could argue for a long time on a certain topic, it was also during this process that she gradually discovered that Yang Siyuan had changed.

Become calm, mature, determined, and assertive, as if she is no longer the child who obediently listened to her before.

In fact, she should have known that Yang Siyuan was such a person in his heart.She should have known earlier that Yang Siyuan was an adult, even about to graduate, she couldn't hold him anymore, and she shouldn't try to hold him.

The most shocking thing to her was that Yang Siyuan, who had not received living expenses for two months, was still able to live a good life. This made her feel for the first time that Yang Siyuan was really going to break free from her, but the communication time was not long. He still stubbornly believes that Yang Siyuan will eventually walk on the road she paved.

Until late December, Yang Siyuan suddenly sent him a screenshot.

It was an email, the characters were a bit small, and she squinted her eyes for a long time before she saw it clearly——Yang Siyuan had signed a contract with a certain studio.

She didn't know this industry well, so she hadn't heard of the name, so she searched the Internet and found that it was a newly established studio, mainly doing illustrations and film art, which she didn't understand anyway.This studio is vigorously recruiting talents, and there is no requirement to work offline, as long as the work is submitted online.They seemed to have discovered Yang Siyuan on a certain website, and then contacted him proactively.

Chen Limei went to look for Yang Siyuan's painting again, but she couldn't understand it, but it seemed that the response was good. Some people even guessed in the comments that he graduated from the Central Academy of Fine Arts.

Just kidding, he is a wild way, and he has only been painting for so many years, how can he be so good?

She asked Yang Siyuan this way, and Yang Siyuan's answer was a stack of sketchbook photos.

It was really a thick pile, reminding Chen Limei of the review materials on his desk that could block people in his third year of high school.Yang Siyuan is using the strength of the college entrance examination to learn painting.

"Mom, I want to change careers. I don't want to go to a bank or any company. I just want to be a painter." At that time, Yang Siyuan said frankly.

Chen Limei understood some of his thoughts and could accept some of them, but this did not mean that she could let go of the future.She persisted for 20 years, but Yang Siyuan only communicated with him for less than three months, so he couldn't shake her completely.

So she said: "Mom has never objected to your painting, but it is not good to use this as a career. It is too risky and cannot support you. You can continue to take it as a hobby and earn some pocket money."

With the expected answer, Yang Siyuan smiled slightly and did not argue with her, but just said "I'll think about it" and said good night.

He never thought of persuading her so quickly, he just wanted to have a start as soon as possible, and then change her mind little by little.

He wasn't discussing with her at all, he was just informing her.

Anyway, he had already cut off his back path, so he could only move forward.

For Li Yu'an, but also for himself.

It was getting cold at night, and on his way back to the dormitory after class, he received a text message saying that his courier had arrived.

The express delivery point was not far from the dormitory, so he picked it up on the way, and saw that it was from Li Yu'an, and he unpacked it before reaching the dormitory.

Inside was an envelope and a set of expensive paintbrushes. It was a brand he liked very much. He mentioned it by chance, but he didn't expect Li Yu'an to remember it.

Even so, he ignored the paintbrush, and only opened the envelope to read when he returned to the dormitory.

Inside the envelope was a half-paged piece of paper and a postcard.

Sure enough, Li Yu'an didn't know how to write love letters, and the half-page letter was very awkwardly written, as if there were too many things to say and he didn't know how to choose, which resulted in some prefaces being inconsistent, as if he wanted to write where he wanted to.This way of thinking is not like Li Yu'an, but a bit like him.

It seems that I have led Li Yuan to the wrong.

Yang Siyuan smiled, put aside the journal-like letter written by a primary school student, and picked up the postcard.

The front of the postcard was a snowy No. [-] Middle School, and it was photographed with a kind of quiet beauty. Looking at the picture, he suddenly missed the days when he was with Li Yu'an in high school.

But now is not the time to remember.

He turned the postcard over and saw the sentence "Happy Birthday" on the back, and there was another sentence below it in Li Yu'an's font, which was a real love letter.He stroked the line of writing, and the thoughts in his heart suddenly raged.

His Li Yu'an hit his heart with a single sentence.

——You are the only mood in my lacking life.