Spring Summer Autumn Winter

As soon as the senior year started, the seeds of anxiety were scattered all over the school. When Yang Siyuan walked in the school, everyone he saw had worries and confusion about the future on their faces. Like burning your eyes.

Yes, they are about to enter the society, but many of them have no internship experience, no project practice, or even a good grade point.There are only a handful of outstanding people in the world, and most of them are mediocre. Being able to not be mediocre is already the greatest achievement.

Yang Siyuan never thought about being rich or becoming an elite. He just wanted to have a lover, a house, and a job.Of these three things, he only has high demands on his lover - it must be Li Yu'an.As for the size of the house and the high salary, he doesn't really care much, as long as it can give the two of them a more comfortable life.

And he knew in his heart that Li Yu'an couldn't adapt to a life that was too rich.

So in this anxious atmosphere, he seems to be leisurely and leisurely every day, planning his career future in an orderly manner, which is quite enviable.Of course, only he himself knows how many years of hard work lie behind this leisure, and only he himself knows that this is actually an illusion to some extent.

He basically didn't have to worry about finding a job anymore. Apart from getting bored with Li Yu'an during the summer vacation, he actually did a lot of work.I published my work on several websites and received good feedback. I took the initiative to understand some job requirements in this industry, and even found information on several studios I liked.Gradually, the goal became clear, and the effort required to achieve the goal was also quantified, so I persisted in paying every day.

Everything is going in the right direction.

Except for his future with Li Yu'an.

He has two jobs to do: one is to give Li Yuan a sense of security, and the other is to come out as peacefully as possible.

Compared with these two things, employment is the idiot level of the game. He doesn't know how to play games, so he often sighs for these two hell-level levels.

Fortunately, he still has Xu Linshuang, a rare friend. In a sense, Xu Linshuang is indeed the most important friend in his life.

One night he was lying on the bed, his arms were empty, without Li Yu'an's warmth and touch, he also lacked a piece of heart, even after counting Hulunbuir's sheep, he still couldn't sleep, and he couldn't help sighing a long time.

The sigh might be a bit loud, and might even cover Luo Fang's teeth grinding and Guo Shun's snoring, so Xu Linshuang quickly sent him a message on his mobile phone.

Lin Shuang knew about him and Li Yu'an a long time ago, so she understood, and asked, "Are you feeling unbearably lonely?"

"Ah... I'm not used to it. I used to sleep with him in my arms." Yang Siyuan replied sullenly.

"Holding for a holiday? Xiao Ling and I are not so tired, you know?"

I'm tired of it, I'm tired, anyway, I like it, and Li Yuan likes it too.Yang Siyuan thought to himself.

"Did you miss him?" Lin Shuang asked again.

"Yeah...but there are other things too."

"what happened?"

Yang Siyuan turned over and lay down on the bed. It was more comfortable to type this way, after all, he was going to write a short composition next.

"I don't know if you and Xiao Ling have reached this stage... that is, we two are sure that we like each other very much, but I always feel... how to put it, he always seems to feel that he is not good enough for me, so he never Act like a baby and don’t make demands, listen to me in everything, and have never quarreled with me. Although we are very good on the surface, I always feel that this relationship is actually very fragile... I don’t know if I express it clearly, it’s just We do love each other, but we may be separated, and after separation, we really can't let anyone go... Oh, it's too messy, I don't know."

He typed a long paragraph, and wrote nearly two hundred words in a mess, without expressing the awkwardness in his heart.It would be difficult for someone else to understand this, but luckily the other party is Xu Linshuang.Not long after, Lin Shuang summed it up brilliantly for him.

"I understand that in your relationship, the status of the two of you is not equal, but falling in love should be a process of giving and asking for each other."

Yang Siyuan wanted to slap his thigh: "Yes! That's what it means!"

"Well... I don't know much about your boyfriend, but he must have had low self-esteem since he was a child."

"Well, yes. Very low self-esteem, and self-loathing, I thought about taking him to see a psychiatrist after graduation."

Xu Linshuang sent a grinning expression and said, "Look, you made a mistake again."

"???" Yang Siyuan read his words back and forth several times and didn't know where he was wrong.

"You said you 'take' him to see a psychiatrist. If you usually say that, it will only increase his psychological burden invisibly. This may be a bit harsh, but from what you told me before, he It's a unique situation where you have to change those details, which is maddening."

After reading this passage, Yang Siyuan felt weird when he looked at the word "belt". He substituted it himself and imagined what Li Yu'an would think if he talked to him like this.

He is very cool.

He couldn't figure it out, and asked, "What's wrong with this word?"

Lin Shuang sent a sweaty expression: "Does your brain only work when you are studying? The word 'bring' will make him feel that he is your appendage, a child, understand?"

Yang Siyuan was stunned for a while, thought for a while, and felt...it seems to be the case?

Although no one cares about such small details between friends and relatives, and Li Yu'an may not care about them, it does serve as a hint.He didn't regard Li Yu'an as an accessory, but he did regard Li Yu'an as a child who needed protection, so he used this word unconsciously.

If it was another person, such as Lin Shuang, he might say "accompany you to see a doctor" instead of "take".

Thinking about it this way... There are many other details, such as spending money for Li Yuan, cooking for him every day, and sending him to and from get off work... These ways of expressing love that he thought might be the most important thing for Li Yuan. Feeling happy will also be accompanied by a kind of indebtedness to him.

Thinking about it this way, he almost wanted to slap himself. In love, two people are supposed to be equal, but he has been doting on Li Yu'an, depriving him of his breathing space, and almost drowning him.

He panicked all of a sudden, he knew that it was basically impossible to completely get out of the inferiority complex, not only did he fail to help Li Yu'an, but instead made him sink even deeper.

"I understand...it's over, what should I do. I'm not afraid of trouble, as long as it makes him stop worrying about gains and losses, I can do anything. "

"It's very simple, you are perfect in his eyes. Praise him truly, don't let him misunderstand his identity, expose your shortcomings, accept his contribution, and he will gradually feel balanced. But ...it may take a long time."

Yang Siyuan copied and pasted those suggestions into the memo, took a screenshot and made it into a wallpaper.

"I'm not afraid of a long time, we still have decades." He said.

Lin Shuang smiled, but it was a gratifying smile: "I'm so sour."

Yang Siyuan also smiled, a firm and hopeful smile: "Be sour, I will call you when you get married, and then be sour."

……

September of this year was extremely difficult for both of them. One had no one in his arms, and the other had no one behind him. In short, the house felt empty, and it was completely swallowed up by darkness after sunset.

They often make phone calls, but the voices processed by the electric current are not as good as the original ones. Neither of them can quench their thirst.

At that time, Yang Siyuan was particularly grateful for this technology.

In the middle of the year, Yang Siyuan's work on a website was noticed, and he was asked for a set of advertising pictures.

He was so happy to go to the sky, and seeing that Li Yuan's class was empty that night, he really felt like he was going to fly.

In the evening, he found a cafe with a good signal and made a video call with Li Yuan.

He didn't say hello in advance, but Li Yu'an answered the call as soon as he dialed, presumably he was waiting on the phone.

Will he be waiting like this every day?Yang Siyuan thought suddenly.

Before he had time to think about the answer, his eyes, ears, and mind were all filled with Li Yuan on the screen.

"Wife!" He yelled into the earphone, and the surrounding eyes swept over, and he hurriedly waved his hand apologetically.

Li Yu'an on the other side of the screen was obviously taken aback for a moment, then his face turned red and he frowned.

When Yang Siyuan saw his shy expression, it was as sweet as licking a mouthful of freshly picked nectar.

But he thought about it again, in heterosexual love, although both men and women are still equal, it seems that girls are more likely to be protected and loved. After all, girls are the treasures of the world.In other words, will the title "wife" make Li Yuan feel that she is the one being protected?

Thinking of Xu Linshuang's warning, he quickly changed his words: "Husband!"

He didn't speak loudly, but the people around him looked over in unison, half surprised and half surprised.

He didn't care, he only had Li Yu'an in his eyes.

Li Yu'an's face seemed to be redder than before, as if all the blood in his body was rushing to his face.But now he is just shy, and the subtle expression just now is indeed gone.

Yang Siyuan was a little happy.

"Show me the arm," he said.

Li Yu'an knew what he wanted to see, so he rolled up his sleeves and covered the inside of his arm in front of the camera to show him.

"Hmm... great, I haven't been stupid anymore." Yang Siyuan checked that there were no new wounds, and nodded in satisfaction.

"What did you eat today? I ordered some noodles and put some old godmother on it, but the chili oil got all over my clothes." He leaned back and pulled his shirt to show him the oil spots on it.

He didn't ask this way before, he would just say "Come on, baby, report today's recipe".

Li Yu'an moved closer, looked at his clothes carefully and said, "It seems to have been frozen for a long time, why are you still wearing them?"

Here's your chance!The little abacus in Yang Siyuan's heart was crackling.

He curled his lips and said, "Ah... I can't wash it anymore, my washing skills are too bad."

Li Yu'an was stunned: "Didn't you do the laundry when you were at home?"

He said "at home", and he already thought in his heart that it was their home.A flower quietly bloomed in Yang Siyuan's heart.

"But it's oil and I don't know how to wash it off," he said.

Li Yu'an seemed to want to laugh a little.

Yang Siyuan saw that he was about to laugh, but he didn't feel that his tone softened: "Why, why are you laughing, I'm not good at everything."

Did you hear, Li Yu'an, I'm not good at everything!

Li Yu'an pursed his lips and said with a smile: "Use some dishwashing liquid, if it doesn't work, then apply toothpaste, and rub it more should be enough."

"Okay, I understand." Yang Siyuan clapped his hands in his head and nodded.

With a start, today's task is completed, and he can start surfing.

He lay down on the table and changed the angle of the phone. What Li Yuan saw was his big bright eyes in the center of the picture.

He stretched out his finger, touched Li Yuan on the screen, and whispered, "I miss you so much."

Li Yu'an's heart melted.

"Do you have a holiday for National Day? I think... I want to meet you." Yang Siyuan said.

He originally wanted to say "I want to go back and find you", but his words obviously did not conform to Xu Lin's double standards, so the words were abruptly changed as soon as he spoke.

Li Yu'an lowered his eyes and thought for a while, then tentatively said: "I can ask for leave, and I can...see you."

"!!!" Yang Siyuan's eyes seemed to speak for him.

Li Yu'an hurriedly added: "If it's convenient for you..."

"Convenient! Convenient and convenient! I have nothing to do for seven days!" Yang Siyuan nodded and his neck hurt. "Then I..."

Then I'll buy you a ticket?

Shit, it can't be like this, if Li Yuan has to pay, he now says that coming to him is already a form of giving, and he can't give up halfway.

"Then I wait for you!"

Li Yu'an smiled, his eyes were crooked, the corners of his mouth were turned up, every nerve and every inch of skin looked happy.

Looking at his smiling face, Yang Siyuan felt that the longing was both painful and sensual.

He didn't care about the reaction of the people around him, he leaned forward and kissed the phone screen.

"You have to rest, give me a quick kiss, and hang up after kissing."

This is too shameful, Li Yuan's eyes dodged, hesitating.

"Then... let's kiss again when we meet, and rest early." Yang Siyuan knew him well and didn't make things difficult for him.

He was about to say goodbye when he saw Li Yu'an lightly touched his mouth with his phone, and then turned off the video with a snap.

Yang Siyuan blinked his eyes and was stunned for a long time before he realized it.

He simply wanted to spin the gyro 180 times in situ and then go straight into the sky in a balloon and lie down on the clouds to have fun.

But he is a mortal, so he can only pay with a serious face, walk out of the cafe with a serious face, walk to the grove with a serious face, and then——

"Wow!!!!!! Yahoo!!!"

The young lovers in the grove were all scared away by him, frowning and complaining while running.

"Is that man sick... His feet are about to shatter?"

"I don't know... that tree is about to be shaken down by him..."

"Is he dancing..."

Human beings are still not fully evolved, and there is no way to express his excitement and joy to the fullest, and even the most exaggerated movements can't vent half of his inner feelings at this moment.

Then accumulate the love that has nowhere to go, and kiss him bit by bit in the next few decades.

……

In September, Yang Siyuan worked overtime to finish drawing the list that he had received. He changed and changed until he was about to collapse. Finally, he was done and got a decent salary.

But now he has to spend money for Li Yu'an leisurely. Thinking about it this way, he feels that earning the money is boring again.

On the day of NO.30, Yang Siyuan was drifting from morning to night, Li Yuan arrived at the station at 06:30 pm, but he didn't finish class until [-]:[-] pm, this was really going to kill him.

Finally, he couldn't take it anymore, and at a little after five o'clock, he slipped out the back door with his schoolbag in his arms while the teacher was not paying attention.

He didn't even have time to put his schoolbag back into the dormitory, so he ran to the subway station, took the subway, flew to the station and waited.

Whoops, why are you so slow.He kept staring at the clock on the electronic screen, counting the seconds in his heart, and concluded that the clock was definitely slow.He counted to 07:30, and it was still six fifty over there.

The last few minutes are like slow motion, different time and space, or some superpower that changes the speed of time in the movie. How can the number remain unchanged? !

Quick, quick!

Ahhhhhh it's here!

The radio sounded, and the moment he heard the train number that he had silently recited thousands of times, he wished he could just rush to the platform and forget it.

But he couldn't, he could only stand outside and watch eagerly, looking for a familiar handsome figure.

Suddenly, a boy in a black shirt and carrying a bag came out and looked around.

Yang Siyuan's eyes lit up: "Yuan!"

Li Yu'an followed the sound and came over. The two of them met their eyes and ran towards each other at the same time, embracing each other through the dust-covered pedestrians.

Someone was looking at them, not sure what expression was being used, but they didn't respond.

One month, 30 days, 720 hours, more than 3000 minutes...

Too long, too long for them.

They hugged each other, felt each other's body temperature, and smelled each other's smell.Yang Siyuan smelled a little sweat from running, while Li Yuan smelled of clean laundry detergent, but they both had the same name in their eyes - the smell of a lover.Better than all blooming flowers, mellow wine, better than the fragrance of the soil before the rainy season, better than the clear dew when the morning comes...better than everything good, they are the most gentle hometown for each other.

"Have you booked a hotel? Let's take a rest first." After hugging enough, Yang Siyuan let go of Li Yu'an and said.

"It's booked." Li Yu'an replied, then took out his mobile phone and started to look at the navigation, found the location of the hotel and pointed it out to him. "here."

Yang Siyuan went over to have a look and found that it was a hotel near his school. It was not big, but the price was right and the service was good. He was quite satisfied.

There is only one thing, he is not very satisfied.

"Standard room..." He curled his lips, looking very unhappy, then leaned into Li Yuan's ear and whispered, "Can I change to a single room with a double bed, I want to sleep with you..."

"..." Li Yu'an tilted his head, and the warm feeling on his cheeks went down a little. "Can you come out and live?"

Yang Siyuan laughed with a "poof": "It's ok, no one will check the bed during the holidays."

"Then... go to the hotel and change."

Yang Siyuan wanted to dance again.

The two went back to the hotel and changed rooms. As soon as they entered the door, Yang Siyuan blocked Li Yu'an against the door and kissed him for a long time.

His arms were sore from hugging, Yang Siyuan let go of Li Yu'an, and rubbed his face: "Get tired, take a rest first, I'll go down and buy dinner."

Li Yu'an nodded and saw him sitting on the bed to rest after going out.

The long-distance drive was really tiring, he just felt like he was still in the car, shaky, tiredness soon overflowed, his eyelids were fighting, his throat was dry and hoarse, in short, he had to sleep.

He really couldn't bear it anymore, and he didn't want Yang Siyuan to make a trip in vain, so he silently recited his name to cheer himself up, but fell asleep on the bed after recitation.

When Yang Siyuan came back, he saw Li Yu'an lying on his side beside the bed, still wearing glasses, and his shirt was rolled up, exposing his belly button.

I really don't know how to take care of myself, so I will definitely get a cold and stomachache.

Putting his supper aside, he went over to take off his glasses, straightened his clothes, and took off his shoes.

Li Yu'an seemed to sense something, snorted, and then turned around.

Yang Siyuan let out a chuckle from his nose, climbed onto the bed lightly, and lay on his side opposite him.

Li Yu'an slept soundly, sniffing lightly on his chin, eyelashes tremblingly scratching his heart.Li Yu'an used to sleep restlessly, and would frown slightly, as if avoiding a beast in a nightmare.I don't know when he started to sleep peacefully like a baby.

Yang Siyuan looked at his sleeping face and sighed.

How can such a person not treat him as a child?

Li Yu'an seemed to have heard the movement, shrank his body, and muttered: "Yang Siyuan..."

Yang Siyuan caressed his face, kissed the tip of his nose, and whispered back: "Here, go to sleep."

Li Yu'an was obviously talking in his sleep, but after Yang Siyuan responded, he seemed to have heard it, and quickly fell silent, rubbed against the pillow and continued to fall asleep sweetly. This time it must be a sweet dream.

The sky gradually darkened, and the light source gradually disappeared in the room. Yang Siyuan could only hear his steady breathing and whispers in his dream.

His breath brushed against his face, and his name was all babbled. Although it was dark at the moment, it seemed to be the most beautiful scenery.