Spring Summer Autumn Winter

In the summer of 2012, time passed by in the scorching sun every day, and they lived peacefully in this small house, without any waves, just rice, oil, salt, soy sauce, vinegar and tea, just like they had lived like this for many years.

It is said that it takes 21 days to develop a habit. Li Yu'an feels that Yang Siyuan has indeed formed a bad habit—the habit of having to hug him to continue working.

They had been separated for too long, and when they met again just now, Yang Siyuan always hugged and hugged him, which was reasonable, but it had been a month, and Yang Siyuan still couldn't change it, so when he had a chance to rest, he leaned over and hugged and kissed again. Enough, kiss enough, have the strength to continue painting.

Over time, the two people tacitly formed a rule, as long as one of them is tired, the other will stop, hug and kiss whenever they want, it's so tiresome.

Li Yu'an felt that he was really crazy, that he would accept such an intimate gesture completely, and he was even a little dependent.

Because the other party is Yang Siyuan, how could he refuse Yang Siyuan.

Several times when they were kissing, Yang Siyuan reacted again, but every time before Li Yuan could speak, he ran to the bathroom to take a cold shower, and when he came out, he turned on the air conditioner again, causing him to have a fever several times.

Li Yu'an always felt that he was sorry for him and that he was not a qualified lover.

But... the shadow brought to him that night was too deep, every time he wanted to compromise, the pain of being torn and the distress covered with traces surfaced again, and beat him hard go back.

Just like now, he was struggling to blow dry Yang Siyuan's hair who had just come out of the shower.

Yang Siyuan never solved it by himself. He used cold water to calm himself down. This method would definitely make him uncomfortable, but he didn't want to show it. He tried not to touch Li Yu'an every time he took a bath, so as not to catch fire again. .

Both of them were silent, not knowing what to say.

"you……"

"I……"

Yang Siyuan smiled: "You talk first."

"It's too hot today, don't go out this afternoon. I want to tidy up the house..." Li Yu'an said as he stroked his hair gently.

They are either working or bored every day, and it is true that they have not tidied up for a long time.

"Okay." Yang Siyuan agreed.

"I'm done talking, you go ahead."

Yang Siyuan thought for a while and asked: "Didn't someone celebrate your birthday in the bar the day before yesterday? I suddenly remembered that it's been so long, and I still don't know your birthday."

That day, Yang Siyuan went to the bar to wait for him to get off work. As soon as he entered, he saw balloons tied everywhere, and there were no guests, only a few students were celebrating a girl's birthday. It looked like a rich man had booked the place.He looked from a distance and saw Li Yu'an standing behind those cheering teenagers, silently looking at the big cake in the middle.

Li Yu'an didn't celebrate his birthday, Yang Siyuan looked distressed at that look, and he felt that he was such a bastard that he didn't even ask about his birthday.

Li Yu'an stopped moving, and was stunned for a while, feeling a little embarrassed.

"Huh? What's the matter?" Yang Siyuan raised his head and asked.

"Birthday... on the ID card is February [-]th."

"On the ID card? What do you mean?" Yang Siyuan asked puzzled.

After drying her hair, Li Yu'an turned off the hair dryer and put it aside, and sat on a chair beside her.

He organized his words, and then said slowly: "The birthday on the ID card is wrong. After I was born, it took more than half a year to register."

"……what?"

"My dad... Li Chengwen said that I was not his child, so he threw me away after I was born." Li Yu'an's eyes were a little empty, and he lowered his head as if he was telling a story that had nothing to do with him.Yang Siyuan listened, suddenly lost his voice, unable to say anything.

"Later my mother brought me back, and it took a long time before she took me to register." Li Yu'an continued. "So the birthday on the ID card is wrong, the real birthday...sorry, I don't know."

The air froze at this moment, Yang Siyuan's heart seemed to be stabbed severely, the pain made him want to shed tears.He kept taking deep breaths and tried his best to restrain himself, but his body was still shaking slightly.

"You want to celebrate my birthday," Li Yu'an looked up at him and smiled slightly. "Feel sorry……"

Sorry again, he was always sorry, but it was never his fault.Obviously it was someone else's fault, someone else hurt him, someone else left him alone in this huge and cruel world, but it was always him, the victim, who apologized.

Yang Siyuan gritted his teeth, stood up and walked in front of him, then squatted down on one leg and held his hands.

These hands have always been cold, and have never been warmed by this world.

"Forget about it, okay?" Yang Siyuan looked at him and said softly. "You... Live your own life again, as if you just came to this world, and you set a birthday for yourself, okay?"

Li Yuan looked down at him with a sore nose.

"Which season do you like?" Yang Siyuan asked him guiding.

"Summer." Li Yu'an replied without hesitation.

Because they met in summer.

"How many months do you like?"

"……July."

In fact, Yang Siyuan had already guessed Li Yuan's answer in his heart. He knew the reason why Li Yuan made such a choice, and that reason made him want to cry.

He controlled his emotions, but still choked up: "What date?"

Li Yu'an's eye sockets gradually became moist, and he tried his best to restrain himself, but he also failed.

His voice trembled a little, as if he was about to say something terrible.

"No. [-]..." A tear fell down without disappointment.

Monday, July [-], [-], was the day they met.

Li Yu'an remembered, and Yang Siyuan also remembered.

The sunlight outside the window hit Li Yuan's back, Yang Siyuan was hidden in the shadows, but Li Yuan could still see the tears on his face clearly.

He wiped Yang Siyuan's tears with his hand in a panic, but Yang Siyuan gently held that hand, and then he felt itchy in his palm, and Yang Siyuan gave him a soft kiss.

……

July [-]th, Li Yuan's birthday in the second half of his life.

The [-]th has already passed, but Yang Siyuan wanted to give him a make-up birthday, so he postponed it for a month and decided to surprise him on August [-]th.Although the date is wrong, it can at least make up for this year's share.

The emotional ups and downs this morning were too great, and the two of them finally got out of the complicated mood after going out to relax, and the cleaning plan was naturally pushed to the next day.

The weather was still hot, and even though the air conditioner was on, they were still sweating after an hour of cleaning.

Yang Siyuan didn't dare to take a bath with Li Yu'an, so he urged him to take a bath first, because he felt that he could respond to the sound of Li Yu'an's bathing water, and if he took a second bath, he could calm himself down, otherwise he might be It's going to be messed up again.

But that doesn't mean he won't react when he isn't bathed.

The soundproofing of the bathroom was not good, and the sound of water splashed into his ears. It was as if a loudspeaker had been added to the pinna, which amplified the sound countless times. He even felt that he heard the sound of Li Yu'an wiping the shower gel.

Thinking about that scene, he felt like he was about to suffocate, so he quickly looked around, trying to find something to divert his attention.

There were still some clothes in the closet that were not folded properly, so he hurried over to take out the clothes, only to suddenly see a wooden box in the corner of the closet, as if someone had deliberately covered it with those clothes.

Yang Siyuan glanced at the bathroom twice. Before Li Yuan finished washing, he carefully took out the box, and then opened it with question marks in his mind.

Inside the box was just a rolled up piece of paper, tied with a thin string.

Curiosity pulled Yang Siyuan, he took it out involuntarily, untied the rope, and spread it out flat.

Then he froze.

When Li Yu'an came out of the bathroom, he saw Yang Siyuan holding a piece of paper in his hand in a daze.

He looked at the wooden box on the side again, and immediately understood what was going on, and immediately stopped at the same place, not knowing what to do.

Yang Siyuan turned his head stiffly: "You...you still keep..."

Li Yu'an: "..."

"No...I mean...you saw it, what I drew, did you see it?"

Li Yu'an didn't know how to respond, so he could only nod his head.

Yang Siyuan stepped forward to look at him and said, "It means...you knew I liked you since then?"

"...Yes." Li Yu'an responded.

In fact, he didn't really know, he didn't dare to confirm it at the time, and he didn't dare to think about it.

"Then why do you still have to leave?" Yang Siyuan was about to go crazy. It turned out that all these years of struggle and hesitation were a ridiculous miss.

"Because I think it's impossible..." Li Yu'an replied palely.

"Because of my mother, right?"

Li Yuan lowered his head and did not speak.

It's not just because of Chen Limei, more precisely, Chen Limei's attitude is not the most important factor.He felt that he was not good enough for Yang Siyuan, that they were not from the same world, and that was the key.

Li Yu'an always had the ability to make Yang Siyuan feel distressed, and the pain was the same clear every time.

Yang Siyuan hugged him, the tip of his nose was filled with the fragrance of his shower gel.

"Want to go back and have a look?"

"……Um."

……

For this small county on the [-]th line, four years will not change anything. The park is still the same as it was then, with the same gravel road, the same flowers, the same lake, and the same pavilion.

What is different is the person sitting on the rocky beach.

The rays of the rising sun shattered into light spots in the air, turned into broken gold and spread on the surface of the lake, and then reflected into people's eyes.

Yang Siyuan put his hand on Li Yu'an's, just like in the painting.The difference is that they are black and white in the painting, but they are vivid and colorful in reality.

"No, this is the county seat." Li Yu'an was afraid of being seen by Chen Limei's acquaintances, and wanted to withdraw his hand, but failed.

Yang Siyuan closed his eyes to feel the sunlight, and said with a smile, "It's okay, there's no one around."

Pull it down, there are so many old men sitting in the gazebo in the middle of the lake, are they all ghosts?

Li Yu'an twitched again, but Yang Siyuan suddenly grabbed it, then turned his head and said in a deep voice, "If you move again, I'll kiss you."

"..."

But Li Yu'an was still afraid. After thinking about it, he found a reason: "I'm a little hot, let's go back."

Yang Siyuan knew what he was thinking, so he didn't force him anymore, and said, "Is it hot? But we just came here... shall we go and see your house?"

Li Yu'an just wanted to leave here quickly, it didn't matter where he went, so he nodded.

Considering his mood, Yang Siyuan no longer led him on the road. In order to restrain himself, he simply put his hands in his pockets. After enduring all the way, he finally couldn't help it, and threw him on the bed as soon as he opened the wooden door.

"You... this bed is dirty."

"Ah." Yang Siyuan reacted, "Yeah, it's been a long time since I cleaned it. Sigh... I couldn't hold back."

After speaking, he rolled around and lay on Li Yuan's side.

"But I still want to lie here for a while."

Li Yu'an sighed helplessly, so he had to lie down with him too.

Everything in this room is so familiar, yet so strange.Some of the mottled walls were peeled off, and the cobwebs in the corners were broken, shaking with the weak air current.It's still so dark here, even on a clear day, you can't see much sunlight... just like the memories left here.

Lying on the bed, those past days played in their minds like a movie, it really felt like a past life.

After a long silence, Yang Siyuan suddenly said, "I...ask you something."

"Ok?"

"Hmm..." Yang Siyuan turned around and looked at Li Yu'an with his arms under his head. "It's just... After the college entrance examination, didn't I come to see you? It happened that you came back that day, so I was waiting for you."

Li Yu'an would never forget that day, too many things happened that day, but he could vaguely guess what Yang Siyuan wanted to say.

"I remember that I drank a lot of alcohol... and then I lost my mind. But I seemed to have a dream, and that dream was very real... Did I...do anything very outrageous to you that night?"

Guessed right.

Li Yu'an also turned to look at him, and replied, "No."

"Really? But it's so real...just like the real thing."

Li Yu'an said firmly, "No."

His eyes and tone were very sure, Yang Siyuan stared at him for a while, and then he breathed a long sigh of relief: "Huh...that's good, otherwise I'm really going to slap myself to death."

Li Yu looked at him quietly without speaking.

"what happened?"

He shook his head and gently stroked Yang Siyuan's face.

……

The days passed quietly, and August [-]th was coming soon. Li Yu'an happened to be on the day shift that day, and Yang Siyuan wanted to shout "God help me too".

He plotted secretly, bought all the things that should be bought in advance, and decorated the house well while Li Yu'an was at work.

In the evening, he finished tying up those balloons, stood by the window and glanced at them, and couldn't help applauding his own aesthetics.This color scheme is so many times better than the colorful birthday party in the bar. Li Yu'an really found a good husband.

Halfway through the arbor, the alarm bell rang suddenly. Yang Siyuan looked at the time and hurriedly changed his clothes to pick Li Yuan off work.

The sunset glow of this day is particularly beautiful, with some purple in the middle of red, mixed into a gorgeous color.But Yang Siyuan didn't care to appreciate it, all he could think about was celebrating his birthday at night.

It was a little late to get off work that day, as soon as Li Yu'an came out of the bar, he saw Yang Siyuan leaning against the wall looking up at the sky and giggling, as if he really lost his mind.

"……what are you doing?"

Yang Siyuan changed his face in a second, pretending to be serious: "Look, the sunset is so beautiful."

"……it's getting dark."

Yang Siyuan coughed twice in embarrassment.

Inexplicably, Li Yu'an couldn't figure out what he was thinking, but he was used to some of Yang Siyuan's silly behaviors, and he still thought it was a bit cute.

On the way home, Yang Siyuan was always looking for something to say. One second he was lamenting how time flies, and the next he was worrying about the air-conditioning filter.Li Yu'an couldn't keep up with his out-of-the-box thinking, and felt that he was a little weird today, but he was very cute.

When he was about to get home, Yang Siyuan suddenly said: "Ah! I forgot to buy vinegar, can you go buy a bag of vinegar?" After speaking, he ran back.

"... Oh." The doubts in Li Yu'an's heart became stronger and stronger, but Yang Siyuan never let him buy anything, and never left him to run past alone.

But he obediently bought a bag of vinegar and went home, but when he opened the door, he saw that the room was pitch black, and none of the lights were turned on.

"Yang Siyuan?" He called softly.

As soon as he made a sound, the room suddenly lit up, not only the existing lights, but also a string of small colorful lights.There are light pink and white balloons hanging on the surrounding walls, cabinets, and windows. If he turns his head to look at the bed, he will find "HAPPY BIRTHDAY" glued with balloons on the wall beside the bed.

He was startled by the scene of the girl fan in front of him, he took two steps forward in a daze, but he didn't dare to move anymore.

Because under his feet is a road that cannot be walked-a road paved with flower petals.

He looked down to identify the petals, which looked like pink roses.Then he heard singing, he looked up and saw Yang Siyuan singing with a guitar at the end of the flower road.

"Happybirthdaytoyou～Happybirthdaytoyou～HappybirthdaytoYuan～Happybirthdaytoyou～"

"Happy birthday! Boyfriend!"

"But... not today..." Li Yuan was completely dumbfounded.

"I missed it on July [-]th, and I will make it up for you today. Hurry up," Yang Siyuan put down his guitar and opened his arms. "Come into my arms."

Li Yuan looked at the petals on the ground, then looked up at Yang Siyuan, and then took a step as if bewitched.

He walked on the soft petals step by step, as if he had walked through these years, every step had the memory of him and Yang Siyuan together, and every step brought him closer to Yang Siyuan.

He walked towards Yang Siyuan, and also towards the dream of his life; he threw himself into Yang Siyuan's arms, and also towards the harbor in the dream.

"I'm still holding the vinegar." Yang Siyuan smiled in his ear.

Li Yu'an was taken aback for a moment, but couldn't help laughing along with him.

……

In the darkness, only a few candles were flickering, and Yang Siyuan's face looked more gentle under the dim light.

"Make a wish and blow out the candles."

Li Yuan closed his eyes, clasped his hands together, silently made a wish, and then blew out the candle.

"What wish did you make? I can't say it, it won't work if I say it. But I really want to know, is it related to the two of us?" Yang Siyuan turned on the light and ran back, holding his chin and asking.

Li Yuan shook his head.

"Ah? I'm sad." Yang Siyuan said pitifully.

Seeing his appearance, Li Yuan thought he was so cute, so he couldn't help smiling, but he still didn't tell Yang Siyuan the wish he had made.

The wish he made was indeed not related to the two of them, but only related to Yang Siyuan.

I wish Yang Siyuan a safe and happy life.This is how he prayed to God.

But as long as he smiles, Yang Siyuan's mind goes blank, and he doesn't care about wishing or not, he just praises him: "You look so pretty when you smile."

Li Yu'an didn't speak, and still smiled lightly, but looked at Yang Siyuan with strong eyes.

Yang Siyuan's heart almost stopped beating when he saw it.

"I can't help it if you look at me like this again..." He held his breath and whispered.

According to his experience, Li Yu'an should look away at this time, then lower his head and blushed silently.But Li Yuan's next move made him completely crazy.

Not only did Li Yu'an not dodge, but he leaned closer and said softly, "Don't hold back." Then, he even took the initiative to kiss her.

Yang Siyuan's mind suddenly exploded, everything rational and calm was blown to pieces.

He picked up Li Yu'an and restrained himself with the only sane wreckage left in his mind, so he didn't throw him on the bed, but gently put him on it.

"Are... are you sure?" Yang Siyuan panted, his voice a little hoarse.

sure?Li Yuan also thought about this question for a long time, but the moment he entered the door, he realized how ridiculous those so-called thoughts were.

He loves Yang Siyuan, the answer is already very clear.

"Sure." He wrapped his arms around Yang Siyuan's neck and kissed his lips again.

Yang Siyuan was about to explode.

(For the car, see Weibo @洋heng一’s parking lot)