Spring Summer Autumn Winter

In his sophomore year, Yang Siyuan was dragged to a road show before the club recruited new students. He watched the freshmen who were still wearing military training uniforms walking around, and felt as if his time had been stolen by someone.The muddle-headed freshman year has passed, and there is no gain in this year. It can be said that it is a waste of time.

They had dinner with some freshmen after the club's inaugural meeting, and at the dinner table he met someone.

During the meal, the sophomores often share their experiences with the freshmen. Whether it is life or study, as long as they have stepped on the pitfalls, they must speak up, so as not to let the freshmen suffer again.Normally, the sophomores would talk and the freshmen would listen, but this person was different. He took the initiative to ask questions, and those questions were all about the future, which really surprised Yang Siyuan.

There were law students among the seniors present, so the person asked directly: "Brother, I want to ask, if our school takes the postgraduate entrance examination for law, which schools generally have an advantage?"

The senior law student began to explain to him seriously, while Yang Siyuan was listening, feeling a little flustered suddenly.

Last year, he panicked because some students of the same grade participated in many competitions, which made him feel that he was behind others in practice.

The panic now is because, in terms of future plans, he is not as planned as a freshman.

After answering, the senior law student asked him again: "It seems difficult to take the cross-examination, and many units have to look at the first degree, and then learn... This thing really needs many years of study. Didn't you study accounting? One line should still be quite popular, why do you want to cross the exam?"

This can be regarded as asking Yang Siyuan's heartfelt feelings. He wants to hear this person's answer, which may bring him some help.

The freshman smiled and said: "My parents applied for me in accounting, and I have no interest. As for whether it is difficult to cross the exam, and the employment situation of law... In fact, I think that no line is easy. Accounting is easier to find a job. But I don’t like it, this is enough. If I don’t like it, I won’t take the initiative to learn, then I will never be able to do this job well, and if I can’t do it well, I won’t be able to make money. If I don’t like it, I still have to work Unhappy. There are so many accidents in life, maybe something will happen to me and I will die that day, so it is more important to be happy.”

The new student explained a long paragraph, and Yang Siyuan listened quietly, and suddenly felt that this person seemed to speak to his heart.

That's right, that's what he actually thought, but he didn't know how to sort out this logic, nor how to express it, so he was always bored in his heart, which made himself very uncomfortable.

He also thought of the sister editor whom he met during the summer vacation. In fact, what they said was the same truth. This truth was very clear and simple, but it was very strange and subversive to him.

After returning to the dormitory at night, he borrowed Xu Linshuang's computer to check a lot of information, including the employment direction and employment situation of finance students. He also read some posts, which contained many people's real experiences. He also compared with those who didn't have many bonus points in college, carefully comparing their experiences, and speculating about his future possibilities.

After looking around, he came to a conclusion—even if he has no experience in competitions, if he has excellent grades, quick thinking, and a serious attitude, then there is actually no risk of unemployment. After all, he is from a prestigious school.

Knowing this, he had some confidence in his mind, and then entered the question "what kind of work can I learn to paint" in the search box.

The school's internet speed was very slow, and the web page was always blank. Yang Siyuan was anxious. He really wanted to know the answer.

Just when he wanted to refresh, the webpage finally opened, and a lot of information popped up immediately, including employment situation analysis, employment direction recommendations, and of course posts on post bars and forums.

He was still a little apprehensive, afraid that he might not find something positive.

But he must understand it as completely as possible. He must be responsible for the decisions he may make, and he must be responsible for his own life.

After turning off the lights at 11:30, he hugged the computer and climbed onto the bed to read it. He copied everything he found useful into the document, and in a short while he had compiled thousands of words.

After three o'clock in the middle of the night, he browsed almost all those web pages, and his brain was finally too tired to turn, and there was a voice in his head urging him to sleep.

But how could he fall asleep?

He closed the computer, took a long breath in the darkness, and then showed a long-lost, gratified smile.

The experience of many people told him that this road is difficult, far away, and lonely, but at the same time they also told him that as long as he perseveres and makes himself good enough, then he can live the life he wants.

It's just that many people were scared off by the thorny road when they stood at the starting point.

This is not a problem.Yang Siyuan laughed.

He was never afraid of difficulties, what he was afraid of was not being rewarded.Since there can be rewards, then he will be able to move forward.

After reading the materials like this for a few days, he finally made a decision after careful consideration.

He asked his club friends for the QQ of the president of the painting club, and then sent a message—"Can I still join the painting club now? PS I'm a sophomore."

In fact, he didn't particularly care about the results. He joined the painting club just to give himself a platform for learning and communication. If he couldn't join, then it would be no problem for him to study by himself. Anyway, he has been self-study for so many years.

The president of the painting club quickly replied to him: "Yes, it doesn't matter if you are a sophomore. I will contact the Social Association."

In this way, Yang Siyuan officially joined the painting club, and posted his works in the group as usual, and then he unexpectedly found that he was actually of a very high level, and even some senior brothers and sisters came to ask him if he was an art student.

He explained with his mouth, but he was still very happy in his heart, silently reading their chat dialogue sentence by sentence.

A senior sister said: "Wow, at your level, no matter how much you practice, you can become an illustrator."

Yang Siyuan was stunned for a moment, he couldn't believe it.

"Well, the level is still too far behind?" He replied.

"Really, I'll find some pictures to show you later."

After a while, the senior sister sent a lot of pictures, some of which were pictures in albums, and some were illustrations in magazines.Yang Siyuan took a closer look. Although there is a certain distance in level, it is indeed a level that he can achieve with hard work, and the style of this illustration is actually very similar to his painting style.

"How long have you been teaching yourself how to draw?" the senior sister asked.

Yang Siyuan did the math and said, "Almost ten years."

"Then it's normal for you to have this level, don't underestimate yourself." The senior sister said.

Don't belittle yourself.Yang Siyuan stared at the words, and gripped the phone tightly.

……

The sophomore year was a very important year for him. In a sense, it was a turning point in his life.

He set a preliminary direction for himself - not to give up his major, but at the same time to study painting hard.

The reason why he didn't give up his major was because he wanted to leave a way out for himself, thinking that if he couldn't change his career after graduation, he would find a job first, which could be regarded as providing financial support for him to continue learning painting.

To put it bluntly, everything is paving the way for him to realize his dream.

So he was suddenly busy this year, studying until his head became bald, and painting until his liver exploded. He lived like this day after day, and he lost a lot of weight, but he didn't look haggard.

He is quite happy, because he is working hard for his future.

His grades are still excellent, and his painting skills are also improving rapidly. It seems that everything is developing in a positive direction. He also feels fulfilled and happy, and he has not even been troubled or sad for a long time.

Most of the sadness in the past was because of missing Li Yu'an, but now his brain is full of study and drawing, and gradually, the three words "Li Yu'an" were hidden in the corner.

He hadn't thought of him for a long, long time, as if he had completely forgotten him.

If no one mentioned it, then he might really be able to forget him.

Until one day, the girl who once joined the guitar club for him confessed to him.

It was already the second half of the sophomore year, and it was very hot, even at night it was still uncomfortably hot like a steam oven.

The guitar club's teaching activities had just ended, and he felt thirsty, so he went to a nearby shop to buy milk tea, and the girl followed.

"You also like to drink milk tea." The girl ordered a cup of milk tea and said with her head tilted.

"It's okay, just a little thirsty."

The girl looked very embarrassed, hesitated for a while and said, "Well... Then, do you want to go for a walk together later? I... I have something to say to you."

Yang Siyuan didn't hear it, but thought that it would not be safe for a girl to go back by herself, and he should really send her off, so he responded casually: "Oh, good."

The girl was happy and shy after hearing it, and couldn't help but secretly glanced at him, but he didn't pay attention at all.

The two took milk tea and walked on the path, Yang Siyuan bit the straw and asked, "What do you want to say?"

"Hmm..." the girl whispered, "Actually, I wanted to say it last year... I seem to... fall in love with you."

Yang Siyuan was taken aback, almost choking on the milk tea, he stopped at the spot, looked at the girl in surprise, and then listened to the girl's story about her mental journey from meeting him to being sure that she fell in love with him.The girl blushed when she spoke, and kept staring at him with both shyness and anticipation in her eyes.

"So...can I be your girlfriend?" the girl finally asked.

It was the first time for Yang Siyuan to be confessed by someone, and it was such a long paragraph. He was a little dizzy after hearing it, and he was stunned for a long time before he realized that the girl was asking him about his relationship.

He really didn't think about this kind of thing, because...he is gay, and...

"Uh, sorry, I... have someone I like."

Just a second before saying this sentence, the name that he had forgotten in the corner was searched out again, and along with it were those memories that he also buried deeply.

It was only then that he remembered that he had someone he liked, and he was once crazy about this person.

He was so busy that he almost forgot about Li Yu'an. He didn't know whether he should be happy or sad for a moment.

Hearing what he said, the girl was taken aback for a moment, but she still smiled and said, "That's it...then, can I know who she is, is she a classmate in the club?"

"No, he is..." Yang Siyuan didn't know how to answer. When he was thinking, he squeezed the cup subconsciously, and finally remembered that he was still holding a cup of milk tea, but this milk tea was too sweet and greasy, not as good as the one he drank in high school .

"He is... Sister Milk Tea."

……

In winter, Li Yu'an often went to the milk tea shop opposite the bookstore to buy milk tea. He only bought the cherry blossom flavor every time, and drank it slowly every time, guessing the recipe while drinking.It is unlikely that he will make milk tea again, so why does he still have to guess the recipe?He doesn't know either.

Perhaps it played a role in Yang Siyuan's waiting, making him really think that he would come back to find him, so he wanted to make milk tea for him as before. Of course, the milk tea must be as delicious as the cup he bought.

He guessed all winter but didn't figure it out, but he grew some meat because he drank milk tea every day.But the people in the bar said that he looked better than before after getting a little fatter. He was really too thin before, and he looked very listless.

The days flowed slowly like water, without any storms or surprises. He still lived on two o'clock and one line as before, and he still had stomach pains and fevers from time to time, and he still bumped into blood.He still can't learn to take good care of himself, but because of the little bit of wishful thinking towards Yang Siyuan, these little pains have a suitable excuse.

There is only reward if there is dedication, maybe these are the sacrifices that must be made in order to meet Yang Siyuan?Thinking about it this way, no matter how much it hurts, he can bear it.

He'd been thinking that way until June, when he was paralyzed in bed with gastritis.

That day he called Brother Ling to ask for leave, and Brother Ling went straight to his house when he heard that he couldn't even get out of bed.

Sitting by the bed, Brother Ling pointed at the piles of manuscripts on the table, almost laughing angrily.

"You said...the dinner table is full of manuscripts, you are a fairy, right? You don't need to eat, right?"

Li Yu'an: "..."

"Oh... where is the medicine?" Brother Ling asked.

"I've already eaten." Li Yu'an said weakly.

Brother Ling leaned over to observe, and found that his forehead was covered with a thin layer of sweat, and his lips were bloodless, and he could feel how much pain he had.

"I'll stay with you, and I'll leave when you get better. How can you not live by yourself when you're such an adult?" Brother Ling couldn't help complaining, "What are you saying about your Yang, if you come back Seeing you like this, he must suffer to death. To love yourself is to love the object, understand?"

"He is not……"

"Well, he's not your partner, I know it. I won't tell you about it anymore, it doesn't make sense to you." Brother Ling waved his hand and said, "You have a good rest and don't worry about me. I'll check my phone here for a while. "

Li Yu'an responded, changed his position and lay on his side, rubbing his stomach gently with his hands.

Brother Ling glanced at it, sat forward, took his hand away, and helped him rub it with his right hand while playing with his mobile phone with his left hand.

"It's all sick, so don't worry about it yourself. Tell me directly if it hurts."

Li Yu'an: "...Thank you."

This person is really suitable to be a lover, but if Yang Siyuan is here, he will only do more than Brother Ling.

Yang Siyuan is so good, no one in this world can compare to him.

He was being taken care of by Brother Ling, and he still thought about Yang Siyuan's goodness in his heart, so he felt a little inappropriate, so he gently pushed away Brother Ling's hand, said "Let me do it", and rubbed it by himself .

Now he can think frankly about Yang Siyuan.

"I convinced you." Brother Ling withdrew his hand, gave him a supercilious look, and then concentrated on playing with his phone.

After a long time, Li Yu'an felt a little better, and sat up with his body propped up.

"Can you pass me the piece of paper on the far side of the table, I want to see if there is anything to fix." He pointed his finger.

"Handsome guy, can't you go back to work after you've fully healed?" Brother Ling said helplessly.

"I just read, I don't write." Li Yu'an said again.

Brother Ling had admitted defeat, and went to get it for him while muttering.When he picked up the manuscript, he glanced at it, and then let out a "huh" as if he saw something strange.

"What's wrong?" Li Yu'an asked.

Brother Ling came over, pointed to the word "Li Yuan" on the manuscript and asked, "Your pen name is 'Li Yuan'?"

Li Yu'an nodded.

"Hmm..." Brother Ling frowned, handed him the manuscript, and then picked up his phone to look for something.

Li Yuan didn't know what he was doing and looked at him suspiciously.

After a while, Brother Ling finally said "ah", then showed him the phone, pointed to a page displayed on the screen and asked, "Did you write this article?"

Li Yu'an took a closer look, he really wrote it, and it was the "To You I Must Miss" a long time ago.

How did this article end up on the web?

He didn't quite understand, but nodded anyway.

Brother Ling saw that it was really him, and immediately shouted in surprise: "Damn it! It's really you! Handsome guy, you're popular, do you know that? This article is going crazy on the Internet!"

"...What?" Li Yu'an was still in a daze.

Brother Ling slapped his thigh, sat beside him, pointed to the screen and said, "Oh, it's just...here, look at the original post, someone saw your article in a magazine, and thought it was very well written, so opened A post brought the article up. Then you look at the bottom... Did you see that it was all reposts!"

He scrolled down the webpage, and sure enough, he saw a lot of replies and reposts, most of them said that this article reminded them of their unrequited love days, and then began to tell their stories.

"I also read this article. Damn it's really well written. It turns out that the author is you... Oh, you're so popular! Hurry up and ask your boss to raise your salary. Maybe you'll be a great writer in a few years!" Ling Brother couldn't restrain his excitement, as if he was the one who was on fire.

fire?The feeling of "fire" in Li Yu'an's mind is "famous" and "making money".

He is Li Yuan, the author of the article, but why does it all seem so unreal?

After living in the gutter for so many years, was he suddenly carried into the sun?And all this, just because I wrote an article?

But he thinks that this article is not well written, it is written like a running account, and it has no other advantages except distraction.

Of course, this is just "no merit" in his eyes.

"I don't quite understand. This article... how did it become popular?"

"This article is written with real feelings. Let me tell you, there is a lack of articles that can read people's hearts now. Your writing is really good." Brother Ling didn't know how to praise him, so he just gave a big thumbs up. thumb.

Li Yu'an: "..."

Brother Ling babbled on for a while, and said all the compliments he could say, making Li Yuan's face blush.

"Hey." The praise was finally over, and he patted Li Yu'an's shoulder lightly and continued, "How about it, do you still think you are not worthy of that Yang?"

"..."

This way of thinking was really jumping, Li Yu'an was asked this question all of a sudden, of course he couldn't respond, he just stared at him blankly.

"Tsk, I'm asking you something, do you still feel that you are not worthy?"

Okay, I heard the question clearly, but this seems to be beyond the outline.

Do you deserve it?Sure enough, it still doesn't match up.

The biggest distance between them is not the material basis or social status, but the very different family background, personality nature, ideology, such abstract and deep-rooted things.

No matter what, he still couldn't become a person of the same world as Yang Siyuan.

But... can this distance really never be shortened?

If I slowly become better, will I really be able to get closer to him?

He doesn't expect to be on the same level as him, as long as he is a little closer to him, he is already very happy.

So can I do this through hard work?If I can earn more money and have a little bit of social status, will I become more confident accordingly?

It should be, if he no longer wants to die, if he no longer hates himself so much, then he will have the courage to approach Yang Siyuan, even if that little courage is only enough for him to take one step forward, this step will make him happy forever times.

As long as you can become excellent, you can get close to Yang Siyuan...

He turned his head and looked at those posts that forwarded comments, feeling a little strange in his heart.

How to describe that feeling?

It was as if... the light in his life had brightened a bit. (The words of the previous chapter were swallowed once, I don’t know if it is this time, please pay attention to scroll down...)