Spring Summer Autumn Winter

October [-]st came within a few days of class, and many people chose to travel with friends, but Yang Siyuan didn't want to make a fuss, so he just stayed in the library and read.He had no plan to go out, if Xu Linshuang hadn't called him, he might have stayed away for a week just like this.

Because his girlfriend was going to participate in some activities, Xu Linshuang only went to Changsha to play with her for three days and then came back. After a day of rest, he suddenly asked Yang Siyuan if he wanted to go out for a stroll.

"Where are you going?" Yang Siyuan said after washing his face.

Xu Linshuang thought for a while: "The Yangtze River Bridge, the riverside is cool."

The Yangtze River Bridge is indeed very famous.Yang Siyuan nodded and asked again: "It's unlikely that Luo Fang will go, right? I'll ask Guo Shun when he comes back."

He thought it was a group trip to the dormitory to enhance their relationship, and he naturally thought that Xu Linshuang had also considered the other two people, but Xu Linshuang shook his head when he heard it: "No, it's just the two of us going."

Yang Siyuan was taken aback: "The two of us?"

Xu Linshuang nodded and looked at him with a smile.

An idea suddenly popped into Yang Siyuan's mind - he must tell me about the Tanmei radio drama.

He might still want to explain... But in fact, Yang Siyuan doesn't need his explanation anymore.

He thought again of some wild guesses he had made that night, and the door that was only a crack open.

Now the gatekeeper is standing in front of him, asking him out.Maybe he could learn more from Xu Linshuang when the two of them were alone together?

He wasn't afraid that Xu Linshuang would find out that he was gay, since Xu Linshuang wouldn't feel abnormal anyway.

"Okay." Yang Siyuan agreed.

At noon that day, the two of them had a meal outside Mala Tang, and then overturned several buses. The Wuhan bus was comparable to an F1 racing car, and Yang Siyuan nearly vomited out the contents of his stomach. The ring does not shake, and it can completely keep up with the dance steps of the bus.

"Damn... this is too fast..." After getting out of the car, Yang Siyuan hurriedly bought a bottle of water and gulped it down, suppressing the nausea.

Xu Linshuang was amused by his appearance, and came over to follow his back: "Are you feeling better? Just ahead."

Yang Siyuan looked up, and sure enough, he saw a bridge stretching not far away, across the river, extending into the mist in the distance, with no end in sight.

"It's so long... let's go." Yang Siyuan sighed.

The two of them got on the bridge, and suddenly a gust of river wind came blowing in their faces, bringing with them damp water vapor, blowing away all the fatigue of the two of them.

"Wow——" Yang Siyuan is a native of the north, and he has never traveled to the seaside. The widest river he has ever seen in his life is the ditch in his hometown. exclaimed.

Xu Linshuang, a southerner who is used to seeing mountains and rivers, thought his reaction was very interesting, so he covered his mouth and smiled.

"What are you laughing at? I've never seen such a wide river."

Xu Linshuang waved his hands: "No, I think you are quite interesting."

Yang Siyuan gave a "poof" laugh, and beckoned him to move forward.

The afternoon sun shines across one side of the river, shining brightly with the ripples left by the boats. From time to time, birds startle up and leave their own footprints on the calm water.

Yang Siyuan stopped and walked, and took a picture when he found a good angle, but after walking for a long time, the two of them didn't get halfway.

"What are you doing tonight?" Xu Linshuang asked suddenly.

"Ah, no."

"The night view here is beautiful, do you want to take a look?"

Yang Siyuan raised his hand to look at his watch, it was almost five o'clock.

"Okay, then shall we find a place to eat later?"

"Go to the other side, come back after eating, walk slowly, it will be almost night." Xu Linshuang raised his chin and pointed to the other side of the bridge.

So after they had enough rest, they continued to move forward. The sun slowly set with their steps, and finally sank into the river, turning into a piece of golden river water swaying with the wind.

They chatted a little while eating, and Yang Siyuan found that he and Xu Linshuang actually had a lot in common.Xu Linshuang learned calligraphy when he was a child, and he was also very interested in painting, and his speech made people feel comfortable and natural, without any embarrassment of deliberately finding topics.

On the way across the bridge in the opposite direction, he was still chatting with him non-stop, and gradually felt that he and he had become good friends and talked about everything.Maybe this is the feeling of seeing each other late?

The sky was already dark when they got on the bridge, and it was completely dark when they walked slowly to the middle of the bridge. Lights were lit up on both sides, outlining the outlines of buildings in the distance.The wet and cool night wind blew slowly, lifted his bangs and penetrated into his nostrils, making him refreshed and comfortable all over.

Xu Linshuang stopped in his tracks: "Take a break? Look at the night scene."

Yang Siyuan had wanted to say this a long time ago, so he nodded and leaned on the stone railing to enjoy the scenery.

After a while, Xu Linshuang glanced at him and said, "You really don't mind my dubbing?"

Sure enough, they plotted all afternoon.Yang Siyuan thought to himself.

He shook his head: "I don't mind."

Not only did he not mind, he also wanted to know more.

"Then you don't dislike Tanmei... homosexuality?" Xu Linshuang asked again.

Yang Siyuan shook his head again: "I'm not disgusted."

Xu Linshuang was silent for a while, and then said softly and slowly: "Let me take the liberty...are you..."

While talking, he observed Yang Siyuan's expression, ready to apologize for his offence.

However, Yang Siyuan was already prepared in his heart, turned his head to look at him generously, and nodded: "Yes."

Xu Linshuang raised his eyebrows, he didn't expect him to be so honest with someone he had just known for a month.

Yang Siyuan smiled: "I actually think it's nothing. I struggled at the beginning, but I accepted it later. If I meet someone like you who doesn't dislike me, I don't mind talking about it."

Xu Linshuang was startled, then laughed out loud: "You are really interesting."

"But...how did you find out?" Yang Siyuan asked.

"Well... I met some friends during my dubbing days, and many of them were gay. After getting along for a long time, I felt that I became a radar. If I looked gay, I was really gay. My girlfriend is also Rotten girl, our radar is quite accurate." Xu Linshuang said. "And when I explained to you that day, your expression was too obvious, and you didn't look like a straight man at all."

Here we go again, rotten lesbian straight guy Barabara's.

Yang Siyuan didn't care about that much anymore, and whenever he had an opportunity, he quickly asked: "Wait a minute, I actually don't quite understand what you're saying... What kind of rotten woman and straight man... What do you mean?"

Xu Linshuang was taken aback again, then couldn't help laughing and bent over: "You...you really...you don't understand this at all?"

Why does he always laugh, is it so funny?Yang Siyuan was ashamed.

"Ahem, I'm done laughing at you. Come on, let me popularize science for you." Xu Linshuang cleared his throat, pulled Yang Siyuan over, and began to give him comprehensive knowledge about science popularization.

Behind him was the endless traffic, and in front of him was the endless river. The flashing headlights passed Xu Linshuang's face over and over again, and also illuminated Yang Siyuan's focused eyes.Xu Linshuang told him about same-sex love in a gentle and pleasant voice. His words showed his understanding and support for the gay community, and he could even hear his appreciation for their courage.

Yang Siyuan looked into his eyes and listened intently to what he said, only felt that the door was slowly opening, but behind the door it was not bleak, but a hundred flowers blooming, the sun was shining brightly, and it was an intoxicating scene of Taoyuan.

"If you're interested... there seems to be a gay bar in Wuhan." Finally, Xu Linshuang said.

But Yang Siyuan needs to digest those information carefully now, and he hasn't considered so far.

That night, he was so excited that he couldn't fall asleep after holding the quilt for more than a dozen times, his mind was full of those novel things.Those things brought him an unprecedented sense of belonging, and made his empty heart seem to be filled.

However, he thought that it was because of Li Yuan that he found out that he was gay, and although he had accepted himself a long time ago, when he thought that Li Yuan didn't like him, he would still feel a strong sour feeling, which made his day's relaxed mood disappear in smoke. .

It has been more than a year since they met and three months since their last separation.

It didn't seem to be very long, but he still felt that the days felt like years.

He was suddenly a little scared, afraid that he would never forget Li Yu'an.

In this mood, he lost sleep again.

……

Soon after, club recruitment began.Yang Siyuan didn't join the student union or anything, he didn't really want to participate in such activities, but he was quite interested in clubs.

It was raining lightly that day, so he and Xu Lin went to the stadium together under umbrellas.

On the way, he asked Xu Linshuang: "Have you decided what club to join?"

"The painting club. What about you?" Xu Linshuang said.

"Painting club? I thought you wanted to join the dubbing club."

Xu Linshuang shook his head: "I want to try something new." Then he asked: "What about you?"

"I..." Yang Siyuan hesitated.

He only has one interest in painting, so it stands to reason that he should join the painting club without hesitation.But ever since his painting was torn up by Yang Jianxin and his dream of being admitted to the Academy of Fine Arts was completely shattered, he had an inexplicable fear of painting. He was often afraid of picking up the brush and seeing those amazing works of art.

He didn't know why, but it made him feel bad anyway.

"I thought you would definitely say the painting club." Seeing him like this, Xu Linshuang asked doubtfully.

"...let's talk about it later."

On the sports field, at a glance, there are tents, all kinds of decorations are hung, and there are many leaflets on the ground that are wet by rain.

The two walked together and soon found the painting club.

As expected, the painting club is for painting, and the decoration of the tents is better than the others. There are several awards on the table, as well as a lot of painting materials and excellent works.

Xu Linshuang pulled Yang Siyuan over and looked at the paintings on the table with him.

Some are hand-painted, some are drawn with a computer and then printed out, and most of them are characters with various styles, but they all have one thing in common-delicacy.Those lines, brushstrokes, and color combinations are the result of many years of practice.Yang Siyuan couldn't help being stunned at the fact that others could reach such heights despite being about the same age, and then the sense of fear spread again, making him want to escape here immediately.

Xu Linshuang was filling out the registration form, and when he finished filling it out, he looked back and found that Yang Siyuan had already gone out, waiting for him standing at a distance.

He didn't know what was going on, and didn't ask any more questions. He just followed Yang Siyuan around the playground again, and then watched him being pulled over by a senior to fill out the registration form and pay the tour fee.

Yang Siyuan was distracted and confused all the way, and only realized that he joined the guitar club after handing in.

"Guitar... then the guitar," he murmured.

It doesn't matter if it's a guitar or something else.

If it is not painting, everything else is the same.

……

After nearly two months of one-armed life, Li Yu'an is still very uncomfortable except when wearing clothes, and there are no serious problems in other places. He really is very suitable for living alone.

He was already poor, but now that he has less income from the bookstore, his life is even tighter. In addition, he is always perfunctory about his life, so three meals a day are often reduced to one meal a day. There is only one bowl of instant noodles for one meal, not even a piece of ham sausage.

The price of this kind of behavior is that he started to have stomach pains very frequently, and even once he couldn't bear it anymore, so he went to the hospital to hang a water.

As a result, the money he saved for a few days on food was spent in the hospital, not to mention a penny left, and he suffered from physical discomfort for several days.After this time passed, he began to eat honestly.

It's not for the body, it's just about the money.

Anyway, as far as he is concerned, life and death are not very important, only paying back the money is the most important thing.

At the end of the month, the temperature dropped sharply, and the autumn atmosphere gradually became stronger.He usually wears loose short-sleeves at home for convenience, but because he has to pay off his debts this time, he put on a coat outside, with one sleeve dangling empty, making him even thinner.

This time he was going to the home of the boy who was injured by the blender. As usual, he had to take a few deep breaths when he got to the door of the house, otherwise if he saw the boy later, he would feel uncomfortable and speechless.Speaking of which, he also felt that he was quite disappointing, he had come so many times, and only saw him a few times, but he still couldn't calm down.

After he stabilized his mind, he knocked lightly on the door.

Soon there were footsteps, and the visitor answered twice and opened the door.

Absolutely, whatever he was afraid of, it was the child who opened the door for him this time.

He was one year younger than Li Yu'an and a little shorter, so he had to raise his head to meet Li Yu'an's eyes.

"It's you," he said.

Li Yu'an swallowed silently, and said as calmly as possible: "Well, come and pay back this month's money."

"My parents are not at home...you come in first." The boy looked at his hanging arms and said.

"Go in?" Li Yuan was taken aback.

"Come in, it's going to be windy." The young man turned around and waved to him with his good arm, which made Li Yu'an feel sad.

He didn't dare to go in, so he stood at the door for a while, seeing that the young man was still in the same posture, he no longer refused, nodded, and stepped in.

Their house is not big, and a small vegetable field has been set up in the small yard, but it is already overgrown with weeds, and it seems that no one has taken care of it for a long time.

"Sit down." After entering the room, the boy moved a chair for him, and ran to pour him a glass of water.

Li Yu'an just felt like sitting on pins and needles, feeling uncomfortable everywhere.

Why doesn't he seem to hate himself at all?

"Oh, you are one year older than me, just call me Xiaofeng. Well, I heard...you gave up going to college." The boy brought water and handed it to him.

Li Yu'an hurriedly took it, took a sip, and almost burned his mouth.

"……Um."

"Your father's matter... We all found out later." Xiaofeng sat opposite him and said. "Our money...and those injuries actually have nothing to do with you."

Li Yu'an held the cup and shook his head: "He is my father, I have to pay back the money."

Xiaofeng laughed, showing dimples, and shrugged his shoulders.

"What nonsense..." He said with a smile, then frowned again, and sighed: "Actually... my parents are also quite complicated. This money can't be avoided, but... we really didn't think about letting you I came to pay it back. But there is no other way... oh."

Heat gradually rose from the cup, covering Li Yuan's glasses with a layer of white mist. He gently rubbed the outer wall of the cup with his fingers, feeling the temperature that penetrated the glass and penetrated into the skin.

"Did you fall off your arm?" Seeing that Li Yuan didn't answer, Xiaofeng asked again.

Li Yu'an nodded, and involuntarily glanced at Xiaofeng's broken arm, and then became even more sad.

Xiaofeng took a sip of water, and then said: "Well... don't pay back this month's money. You look like... you can't work."

Upon hearing this, Li Yuan quickly shook his head: "No, the money must be paid back."

"But you must be very short of money now." Xiaofeng said. "At least I have my parents to take care of me, but you are alone. The most important thing is...it really has nothing to do with you."

"No." Li Yuan refused to listen.

"You are older than me, I can figure it out, but you are confused..." Xiaofeng scratched his head, looking puzzled. "You don't need to rush to pay back the money. Our family is not so poor yet. It's not that you won't be allowed to pay back... well, although I really don't want you to do it. It's just...you are only 20 years old at most. You are old, and you have to live a good life. We are really not in a hurry, I have heard from my parents before, saying that I want to find a time to talk to you, so that you can save more money for yourself. "

At the end, he repeated again: "Really, your father's fault really has nothing to do with you. You really shouldn't blame yourself so much, and you shouldn't be so desperate. We all know about your family, and I think the other They probably won't embarrass you."

Indeed, after Li Yuan paid back the money a few times, he found that the attitudes of those people had changed a lot. They were no longer as aggressive as they were at the beginning, and they didn't feel that the money he gave was not enough, and sometimes they would even refund him one or two hundred.

His mind was in a mess and he didn't know what to say.

Seeing that he didn't refute, Xiaofeng said again: "I don't want it this month. I'll tell my parents when they come back. They definitely don't mind. It's going to be cold when the wind blows, so you go back first."

So he was sent out by Xiaofeng, and the roll of paper tickets in his pocket was not missing.

Sure enough, a strong wind blew up on the way back. The trees on both sides of the road were shaken back and forth by the wind. The dust all over the ground and some dead leaves that had just fallen were blown into the air by the wind.

Li Yu'an was sitting on the bus with his right hand in his pocket, clutching the roll of banknotes.

That's what he got in exchange for the 10,000+ words he wrote, and what he got in exchange for his already weak body.

He is almost draining his life to pay off a debt with no end in sight.

Are their disasters nothing to do with themselves?

Shouldn't Li Chengwen be made up for the mistakes he made?

Shouldn't you feel guilty?

A leaf hit the window, interrupting his thoughts, and he flinched back.

Really... shouldn't it?

He looked at the leaf and asked in his heart.However, the leaf only stayed on the window for a few seconds, and then drifted away into the distance, never to be seen again.