Spring Summer Autumn Winter

After nearly two weeks of military training, Xu Lin had injuries to his legs, so he asked for leave in advance, so he became a military training reporter. Red in black.

Yang Siyuan's skin tone was at least three shades darker, almost the same skin tone as Qin Ziliang's.

Qin Ziliang... He also started school a long time ago, also in Wuhan. The two schools are not far away, but they haven't contacted each other, as if they knew each other.

Yang Siyuan lay on the bed exhausted after washing at night.

Xu Linshuang and Guo Shun were talking on the phone, one was with his girlfriend and the other with his parents.

After so many days of school, he and Chen Limei haven't talked on the phone yet, but they just sent a text message on the day Chen Limei left to ask if she was home.

Yang Jianxin gave him 1000 yuan in his card, but he had no other contact with him.

Before that, he didn't feel how indifferent his family's family consciousness was, but when he compared it now, the gap was directly in front of his eyes.

He rolled over, trying to avoid the sounds.

After the lights were turned off, the two finally hung up the phone and went to bed. Only Luo Fang was still playing games below.

Yang Siyuan didn't pay attention to the cover of the voice just now, and now he realizes that Luo Fang is playing the game with the sound turned on, even after turning off the lights.

"..." Yang Siyuan was a little speechless.

He was prone to insomnia in the first place, but now he was making a lot of noise, making it even more difficult for him to fall asleep.

"Well, Luo Fang, the lights are off, why don't you turn down your voice?" He had just gathered up some courage, but before he could open his mouth, he heard Xu Linshuang say this.

His voice seemed to have a natural power to calm people's anxiety, Yang Siyuan immediately calmed down, Luo Fang also responded casually, turned off the game console and went to bed.

"Xu Linshuang... feels like a very powerful person." Yang Siyuan thought to himself.

He was indeed very powerful, because Yang Siyuan was almost scared out of his wits by him on the day the military training ended.

That night, a welcome party was held on the sports ground, singing, dancing and recitation of martial arts was very routine. After the party, he was already very tired, so he separated from the main team and walked back to the dormitory quickly.

As soon as he opened the door of the dormitory, he heard a gasp coming from the room, and Yang Siyuan froze in place in fright.

That kind of panting is like... the voice of the heroine when the hero and heroine are in trouble in the movie... except that it is now a male voice.

As soon as he opened the door, the sound stopped abruptly.

Yang Siyuan stood at the door stupidly, looked at Xu Linshuang in the dormitory in a daze, and said to himself that I did not go to the wrong door, why is there still someone panting?

Xu Linshuang was the only person in their dormitory who came to school with a laptop. Yang Siyuan thought he was doing it for the convenience of studying, but now... what is he doing with the computer?

He didn't move much either, he was just wearing headphones, his hands were on the keyboard and mouse, and he was well dressed.

Yang Siyuan was even more confused.

When Xu Linshuang heard the movement at the door, he immediately shut up, took off his earphones and turned to look at Yang Siyuan.

"No... sorry, did I disturb you?" Yang Siyuan came back to his senses and quickly closed the door.

Xu Linshuang cleared his throat, waved his hands and said, "No."

"You... didn't go to the party?" Yang Siyuan tried to break the embarrassment.

Xu Linshuang shook his head: "No, I asked for leave."

"Oh." Yang Siyuan was speechless.

The two were silent for a while.

"The what—"

"I actually—"

Yang Siyuan felt offended, so he said, "You speak first."

"I wanted to hide it, but I didn't expect to be bumped into by you so soon." Xu Linshuang also lowered his head and smiled.

What does this mean, what kind of big event did I encounter?Yang Siyuan immediately became nervous.

However, Xu Linshuang said softly: "Actually, I'm dubbing. You always know about dubbing... But, I'm dubbing for an online drama."

Yang Siyuan doesn't surf the Internet very much, so he has never heard of web radio dramas.Does this thing need a man to pant there?

Yang Siyuan blinked his eyes, looking like "I'm sorry I didn't understand".

"It's just...a TV series without pictures, only sound. The difference is...I'm playing Danmei." Xu Linshuang patiently explained.

"Danmei?" Yang Siyuan asked without understanding.

"Well, it's... men and men... falling in love." Xu Linshuang nodded and said tentatively in a soft voice.

He spoke very slowly and lightly, while observing Yang Siyuan's face while speaking, he felt something was wrong.

When he said "men and men", the confusion on Yang Siyuan's face disappeared instantly, and then his brows were slightly frowned, as if he had guessed something but dared not confirm it.When he said the word "falling in love", Yang Siyuan was obviously stunned for a moment, and then he lowered his head and touched his nose in a panic, trying to cover up something.

This reaction was different from what Xu Linshuang had seen before, and he was a little curious.

"Well... I didn't intend to hide it from you, but, after all, not many people accept this kind of thing, I'm afraid you will feel uncomfortable." Xu Linshuang said again.

Yang Siyuan quickly shook his head and said, "No, I... don't think there's anything strange about it."

Seeing his appearance, Xu Linshuang became more curious and wanted to ask him something, but Guo Shun and Luo Fang came back at this time, so he had to give up and turn off the computer.

Danmei...Is it called Danmei when a man falls in love with a man...Is there something dedicated to this kind of story?

What is it called... a radio play?

Then Xu Linshuang's panting just now...could it be for...that kind of plot?

Yang Siyuan flipped through the microeconomics book, and stopped in the catalog for half an hour without turning the page.

His mind was in a mess, and he felt that many new things were pouring in, which made him want to explore for a while, but there was no way out.

The paper of the textbook was of good quality. He rubbed the corner of the book lightly to feel the rough texture, which relieved his anxiety a little.

He quietly turned his head to glance at Xu Linshuang, Xu Linshuang was also reading a book, wondering if he was just pretending like himself.

Xu Linshuang didn't look at him, but he turned his head and continued to stare at those names.

So, at least Xu Linshuang accepts homosexuality...

And since he is willing to act in that kind of drama, he should also support it?

Then will he... No, he has a girlfriend.

Does his girlfriend know that he is suitable for this kind of drama?

Xu Linshuang opened a crack in the door of the New World for him. He seemed to be holding the crack and stretching his neck to look in, but due to his limited vision, he couldn't see the scenery over there.

But anyway, he knows that there is a door in this world that belongs to him, and behind the door is a world that belongs to him.

Maybe after walking through this door, he can accept himself further?

He thought a lot that night, and didn't know what time he fell asleep, but after falling asleep, he saw Li Yu'an in his dream.

Li Yu'an is different from before, he seems to have gained some flesh, not as thin as before.In the dream, he has clean short hair, a gentle smile on his face, a well-proportioned figure, and a clean shirt.

The bright sunlight shone on him, the shirt seemed to be translucent, and Yang Siyuan could even see the scar on his arm.

He stood at the school gate, holding a bouquet of flowers and waiting for Yang Siyuan to come out.

Yang Siyuan in the dream didn't doubt whether this was real, and after catching his figure, he ran towards him without hesitation...

Yang Siyuan woke up suddenly, dressed roughly, and couldn't see his fingers in the dark night. After a while, his mind gradually cleared up.

The sounds of snoring and grinding of teeth could be heard one after another in his ears, which made him quickly distinguish reality from dreams.

I dreamed of Li Yu'an again...

Yang Siyuan sat up and rubbed his face.Then I suddenly felt... something was wrong?

He felt it for a while, and then lifted the quilt as if death was at home, and he saw his bulging breasts.

……Depend on.

……

"Damn." Li Yuan cursed in a low voice.

He rarely swears, unless he is really unlucky and there is no one around.

It is now.

After rolling down the stairs of the bookstore, he was taken to the hospital by his colleagues, and put on a plaster cast under the eyes of everyone.Of course, they also took a thorough look at his scarred arm.

The scars with flesh turned out were really scary, Cen Huan couldn't hold back his screams on the spot, and the others also gasped, but they suppressed their emotions and didn't scream or ask.After all, he had been wearing long sleeves before, and it must have been to cover up these scars.If that's the case, then it's because he didn't want others to know about it, so his colleagues all chose to ignore it, which made Li Yu'an feel a lot easier.

After the plaster was applied, the owner granted him a long vacation and asked him to rest at home. He also knew that he would not be able to do much work like this, and he might be delayed, so he stopped shirking and went home honestly. .

It's just...he is lonely and has no one to take care of him. It's really inconvenient to go anywhere with a broken arm.

For example, now, when he stabbed down, the tomato was split from the middle, and the juice burst out instantly, splashing him all over.

It was still a white shirt, the kind that stains easily.

In desperation, he had no choice but to give up, and pitifully made a bowl of noodles.

It was already 08:30 in the evening, and it was already past dinner time, but he had just eaten, and the meal was still 3-minute instant noodles.

Just instant noodles, as long as it can cushion his stomach, anyway, he is used to living alone, so he doesn't care about this meal.

As a result, less than an hour after eating, his stomach convulsed, as if a meat grinder was put in it, and the whole stomach was twisted together. The pain made him break out in a cold sweat, and the pen in his hand fell off.

"Hiss...uh..." Stomach cramps are tormenting, he has experienced them for a long time, but he hasn't had them for a long time.

The last time I had a stomachache was at Yang Siyuan's house, on that hot summer afternoon.

He bowed his body, clutching his stomach tightly, trying to relieve the pain, and then moved to the bedside to get the medicine with difficulty.

There are a lot of bottles and cans by the bedside, such as painkillers, alcohol, anti-inflammatory drugs, stomach medicine... There is also an unopened bottle of sleeping pills.

He crawled to the head of the bed, took a small bottle, poured a tablet, and swallowed it without drinking water.

After the foreign body sensation in his throat disappeared, he fell on the bed, clutching the medicine bottle tightly in his sweaty hands.

Famotidine, the drug that Yang Siyuan gave him.

He was lying on his side, the light was behind him, and there was a shadow in front of him. The small medicine bottle was hidden in the shadow at this moment, like the memory of that summer, unable to see the light.

Looking at the name of the medicine, he couldn't help laughing bitterly.

I thought of Yang Siyuan many times, and it was all about pain.

There are many times when I think of him for other reasons, but only when the pain is used as the introduction, the memory will be deeper and the yearning will be more intense.

Every time he couldn't help thinking of Yang Siyuan, he would force himself to forget him once. He thought that this kind of repetitive hint would be useful, but it turned out that he was thinking of Yang Siyuan more times every day than yesterday.

And the hint of forcing myself to forget him also seemed very funny at this time, as if it was giving myself an excuse-well, this is the last time, I can miss him this time, but not next time.

It's like this every time, every time it's "ok this time", every time it's "no next time".

The former he obeyed well, the latter never succeeded.

He put the medicine bottle on the head of the bed, pulled the quilt into a ball, pressed it against his stomach, and forced himself to sleep.

……

At the end of September, the editor came to him again, with the same problem as before.

The meaning of the editor is very clear. Now is the first month of college graduates. Many people have been separated into long-distance relationships, and many people have broken up because of this. She wants him to write an article about this phenomenon. article.

After graduating from high school, love also graduated.

It's just... Li Yu'an's love is still repeating grades.No, he couldn't say that, because he never dared to admit that his humble, shameful feeling was called "love."

He originally wanted to shirk it, but because he was not on paid vacation, he was really tight and needed to save money, so he finally agreed after much deliberation.

As a result, he regretted it after agreeing-he didn't know how to write at all.

He sat facing a blank sheet of paper for two days, not knowing what to write in the first word.

Sure enough... I can't write this kind of thing myself.

He sighed silently and put down his pen again.

The next day, he wrote the manuscript all morning. He was really tired and the room was stuffy, so he ran to the bookstore to see if there was anything he could do to help.

"Brother Li! Your hand isn't healed yet, why don't you take a good rest?" Cen Huan asked immediately when he saw him coming.

"Yeah, it will take a while to raise it, don't worry about it."

"There are enough hands, you rest quickly..."

"That's right..."

Seeing him coming, the others hurriedly surrounded him and pushed him onto the chair in a hurry.

Although he is used to the enthusiasm of his colleagues, he is still a little flattered, trying to stand up but being pushed down.

He always felt that the attitude of his colleagues towards him was a little different from before.

They seem to care more about him and have more concerns about him.

In the past, they were very open when they played around, but now as long as he is present, they will deliberately restrain themselves, and then avoid some sharp topics, such as where and where the fight happened again.

They are for their own good.Li Yu'an thought.

But what did I do to make them do this?We are just ordinary colleagues, isn't this kind of concern a bit too much?

At that time, he was still a little uncomfortable with this kind of concern, and he was a little moved in his heart. It was not until later that he met many people and experienced many things that he realized that this was actually a very common and common concern, and it did not mean They have a special place in their hearts.It's not that they don't care about him, it just proves that his life was so scarce at that time that he took the candy that others gave him as a treasure.He didn't know that everyone had candy, and the one given to him wasn't much sweeter.

Only Yang Siyuan can give him all the sugar.

Of course, he didn't understand these things at that time, he just sat on the chair and watched them busy, slowly digesting their love.

Suddenly, a somewhat familiar voice came from behind: "Li... Yu'an?"

Li Yu'an remembered the voice, froze immediately, and then slowly turned around.

A long-haired girl stands behind her with her back against the light, holding a few books in her arms.

It was Chen Miao.

……

in the cafe.

Chen Miao was not as enthusiastic as before. At this time, she felt a little embarrassed facing Li Yu'an, stirring the coffee all the time, keeping her head down and not speaking.

"Long time no see. Are you here to buy books?" Li Yu'an was a little afraid of Chen Miao, so he spoke first to break the silence.

Chen Miao said "um", but still didn't speak.

Li Yu'an didn't know how to start a conversation, so he also shut up now.

After a while, Chen Miao said, "You...why have you disappeared for so long?"

Li Yu'an was afraid that she would ask this.He stopped moving his hands, not knowing how to respond.

"Forget it...it's useless for me to ask you what you don't want to say." Chen Miao smiled. "Then... did you leave because of me?"

Li Yuan paused, shook her head, and prayed in her heart that she would not ask if it was because of Yang Siyuan.

In the end, Chen Miao asked again: "Is that because of... Dayang?"

"..."

Why does God always love to play with him?

Li Yu'an was very good at lying, she was silent for a while, and was about to say "no" when Chen Miao laughed again.

"I got it right."

Li Yu'an didn't dare to guess what she knew, and didn't dare to look up at her.

"Actually...you don't need to do this. If you don't like him, just tell him directly. Do you know..." Chen Miao said softly. "He has been looking for you for a long time."

The spoon fell slightly, and a few drops of coffee splashed out, but Li Yuan didn't pay attention at all.

Soft piano music was played in the cafe, and the melodious melody made people's hearts calm down, but Li Yu'an's ears seemed to be malfunctioning, and only Chen Miao's words echoed in his ears, hitting them over and over again. looking at his brain.

If you don't like him, just tell him directly.

He has been looking for you for a long time.

Li Yu'an was not stupid, he could hear the information contained in it.

Chen Miao knew that Yang Siyuan liked him.

How did she know?

"Da Yang said it, he told my brother." Chen Miao said as if hearing Li Yu'an's heartfelt voice.

"..."

She continued: "My brother doesn't understand or accept it. I don't care. I don't care whether my rival is a man or a woman. But... Dayang is very sad. Because of this incident, he may not have many friends."

Li Yu'an lowered his head, barely daring to breathe.

"I know that you may not be able to accept it before leaving...but you should actually make it clear to him. In that case, he won't pester you, and won't...seek for you for so long. "

The piano piece was changed to a very classic one. The one Li Yuan had heard before was "To Alice".

He didn't even know when Chen Miao left. When he finally looked up, there was no one on the opposite side, only a ray of sunlight accompanied by particles floating in the air, as if it was just a daydream.

Should I... speak clearly to him?

I don't like you - should I tell him so?

But, she obviously likes him.

After returning home at night, he sat in front of the window again, clutching his phone and thinking.

Perhaps because he was too nervous, he kept flashing back the images of them being together in his mind.

There are rainy days and sunny days, there are happy days and sad days, there are laughter and there are quarrels, there are hugs and there are separations...

Such images are intertwined, like a revolving lantern, as if weaving a net for him, making him trapped in it and unable to escape.

He was imprisoned in the middle of the net, and then forced to freeze a frame in front of his eyes.

He tried to kiss Yang Siyuan, but Chen Limei stood outside the door.

The phone hurt his hand, but he kept on increasing his strength.

Forget it, Li Yu'an, don't lie to yourself.

Forget it.

In the middle of the night, he finally calmed down, edited a message, and pressed the send button with all his strength.

"Sorry, I don't like you."

That night, he finally took up the pen to write the article, titled "To You Who I Must Miss".