Spring Summer Autumn Winter

On the fourteenth day of the first lunar month, Yang Siyuan woke up very early, with a vague idea in his mind telling him that he had to get up early to make breakfast for Li Yuan, but when he woke up, he found no one around him.

"Huh? Li Yu'an?" Yang Siyuan put on his clothes, went to the bathroom to find no one, and asked Chen Limei: "Mom, Li Yu'an is gone?"

"Hmm." Chen Limei replied sullenly while combing her hair.

"When did you leave? What time is it?" Yang Siyuan muttered.

Chen Limei said impatiently: "I left last night."

"……Oh."

Let's just go and say goodbye to him in the evening.

He had packed some luggage in advance, and now he didn't need to bother so much, so he packed some textbooks and papers, but when he was sorting things, Yang Siyuan found a paper bag in the corner next to the closet.

"Huh? What is this?"

The paper bag squatted squarely in the corner, because it wasn't messy, so I didn't pay attention to tidying up the house during the Chinese New Year.

Yang Siyuan shook the soil and pulled out the contents.

"This..." Yang Siyuan lifted the thing, feeling a little dazed.

It was a very simple doll, which seemed to be custom-made, and it was only the size of a pillow. It was a little boy with short black hair, wearing a pair of black-rimmed glasses and a plaid shirt.Unlike other dolls, this rag doll's expression is not very good, and it doesn't even smile.

Yang Siyuan stared at the doll for a long time, the more it looked like Li Yu'an.

Suddenly, he slapped his head: "Ah!"

It is true that he did not buy the doll, it was the gift Chen Miao gave to Li Yu'an before, but neither Li Yu'an nor Chen Miao wanted it, so it fell into his hands as a runner.He didn't know how to deal with it, he probably just threw it in the corner at that time.

The doll is covered with plastic cloth, but it is not dirty.

Yang Siyuan pinched the baby's face and thought, "It would be great if Li Yu'an's face had so much flesh."

"I'll take him to school...it should be okay? Anyway, Chen Miao doesn't want it." Yang Siyuan muttered in his heart, although he still felt a little embarrassed, he still stuffed him into the suitcase in the end.

After dinner, Yang Siyuan ran out, wanting to say goodbye to Li Yuan's house.

The New Year was almost over, and the side of the gravel road became more lively, and there were still people staring at Yang Siyuan openly. Yang Siyuan felt disgusted and quickened his pace.

Two corners of the Spring Festival couplets on both sides of the iron gate were blown away, and Yang Siyuan went up to smooth them out.

After knocking on the door three times and waiting for a few minutes, no one came to answer the door.

"Li Yuan?" He knocked a few more times and called out, but still no one came to answer the door.

"Not at home? At this point...you should be off work early." Yang Siyuan thought to himself.

Did you go to pay off the debt at night?

Yang Siyuan didn't think too much about it, after all, there are too many places one can go by himself, maybe it's not certain where Li Yuan went shopping.

After waiting for another half an hour, it was so cold that Yang Siyuan went home reluctantly.

"Then send a message to tell him." On the way back, he thought.

I got up the next morning and checked my phone, but there was no reply.

Guessing that he might not be looking at his phone, so he didn't reply, but Yang Siyuan was still very disappointed.

It's just that the school will start soon, and he can't allow him to think too much, so he has to rush back to school in the afternoon.

The lower bunk was still empty, and I heard that before he came, a roommate put his luggage on Qi Ming's bed, and was scolded by Yu Fei.

"Are you a child?" Yu Fei asked with disgust, pointing to the doll Yang Siyuan brought.

Yang Siyuan rubbed his nose and said, "It's a gift from a friend."

……

There are still about four months left before the college entrance examination.

The duty schedule on the blackboard changes day by day, and the countdown cards are drawn one by one, silently counting the days for them.

Too hard.

For three weeks, I studied at school from morning to night every day. There was no mobile phone or TV. The only time I could relax was when the English teacher played a song before class.

Today is "yesterdayoncemore".Yang Siyuan still remembered that in the summer, his parents were arguing in the living room, and he and Li Yuan were in the room, each with a headset, listening to this song quietly.

It turned out that it had been so long.

Yang Siyuan lay on the table, staring out the window in a daze.

so tired.The teacher didn't speak as well as Li Yu'an, he was tired of listening.

As soon as he got tired, his mind was full of Li Yu'an, like a demon.

He was still wondering, and still wondered from time to time, did Li Yuan see his message, and did he reply.

But he can't bring his mobile phone, so he can't know the answer.

The unbearable 45 minutes was repeated countless times, and by the end of the evening self-study, Yang Siyuan was almost confused.

It's so hard to die, the Peiyou class has to add an evening self-study.

"What's wrong with you? It won't be passed on by that person." Yu Fei wandered in with two books in his hand, seeing Yang Siyuan's haggard look, he said with a smile.

Yang Siyuan pulled out an ugly smile: "Too tired."

Yu Fei sat next to him, glanced at him through the light, and said quietly: "You are... in love."

Fortunately, Yang Siyuan didn't drink water, otherwise he would have to spit it out.

"Dating?! You want to—"

Several other students came in one after another, Yang Siyuan cleared his throat, and lowered his voice, "Where do you want to go?"

I saw that Yu Fei ignored the few people who came in at all, took out a mirror from the table, put it in front of him with a "snap", pointed and said, "Come on, look at your face. Seeing the three words 'Lovesickness' Is there a word?"

The person in the mirror looks like a panda has turned into a spirit, and the dark circles under his eyes are as heavy as poisoning.His eyes were dull, Hun'er didn't know where he flew.

lovesickness.

He was indeed thinking of someone.

But...but he's a man!

Yang Siyuan turned his head away slowly, and said to Fei in a low voice: "I was just thinking about a friend of mine, it's a man! Not a date!"

"Hiss..." Unexpectedly, Yu Fei raised his eyebrows when he heard this, and with an expression of "So that's it", he dragged on a long tone.

Yang Siyuan looked at him inexplicably, thinking: "Am I wrong?"

Yu Fei leaned over and whispered in his ear: "Who would want a friend to think like this. No wonder Qi Ming is willing to be with you, you two are the same kind..."

...?

A class of people?who?

Gay...?

Yang Siyuan's pupils shrank suddenly, as if he had been frozen, unable to move.

"Okay, I'm just kidding you." Seeing his stupid look, Yu Fei couldn't help laughing, patted him on the shoulder and said.

Yang Siyuan didn't know if he was joking, but for the next two weeks, Yang Siyuan's mind was in turmoil.

By the day of the holiday, he still hadn't figured it out.

The first thing you do when you get home is check your phone.

For the first time, he felt that his broken mobile phone had been turned on for such a long time, and he was impatient to wait.

Finally turned it on, but there was no new message prompt.

Maybe it's a malfunction...Yang Siyuan stubbornly went in again, but it still didn't work.

how come?What happened to him?

Almost without hesitation, Yang Siyuan called Li Yu'an.

A few beeps passed, and just when Yang Siyuan was about to speak, he heard a cold female voice.

"Sorry, the number you dialed is empty..."

Empty number?

Empty number? !

Yang Siyuan froze for a moment, hung up after a long time, checked the number again, and dialed again.

Still empty.

What do you mean... Did he log out of his mobile phone number?What about the new phone number?Why didn't he send a message to tell him?

Suddenly, Yang Siyuan felt inexplicably flustered, his heart was beating at an unknown frequency, the pores all over his body were open, and cold sweat oozed out little by little.

He went crazy, ran to that alley without changing his clothes.

There were still people watching him, but he didn't have the mind to care about it.

"Li Yuan! Li Yu'an!"

What started as a knock on the door turned into a knock on the door.

The loud noise aroused the dissatisfaction of the neighbors, but he couldn't control it.

Until someone came out and said, "Moved away! This kid has moved away!"

"Moved? Where did you move?"

"I don't know!"

Yang Siyuan gasped heavily, almost crying.

where else to find...

Milk tea shop!

He ran to the milk tea shop again, but the answer he got made his heart sink completely.

"I resigned half a month ago, I don't know where I went."

A gust of wind blew away Yang Siyuan's remaining body temperature.

Li Yu'an just disappeared without a word.

……

One night after school started, Yang Siyuan had a dream.

He dreamed that he was running on a wasteland, calling Li Yu'an's name.He was ragged and bruised, almost on the verge of death.When he finally couldn't support himself and was about to fall, a person walked slowly in front of him.

"Li Yu'an!" He woke up suddenly and shouted.

The other few people hadn't rested yet, and they were studying with flashlights. They were all startled at this moment, and they all looked at him.

is a dream.

Yang Siyuan apologized a few times and glanced at his watch, it was only 11:30.I only fell asleep for less than 10 minutes, and I actually had a dream.

The next day, Yu Fei asked him, "His name is Li Yu'an? It sounds familiar."

Yang Siyuan ignored him.

He began to bury his head in solving the problems all day long, and he didn't even take a break between classes. He learned so much that even the class teacher couldn't stand it. He came to talk to him several times, but he was indifferent.

He had to be busy, or he would be tortured endlessly.

He kept guessing whether something happened to Li Yu'an, or he had other livelihoods, or...he didn't want him anymore.

He thought about it for an unknown number of days, and nothing but sadness was sad.

Finally, in the middle of the night, he hugged the doll and cried silently.

The days without Li Yu'an turned out to be so difficult.

"Yu Fei is right, I am gay." Tired of crying, he said to himself looking at the moon outside the window.

"I like Li Yu'an."

……

The owner of the milk tea shop is a nice person, knowing that Li Yu'an's life is difficult, he gave him more money.

At least it lasted for a while, allowing Li Yuan to rent a house and have the energy to find another job.

Compared with small county towns, there are still more opportunities in the city center. Within a few days, a private bookstore asked Li Yu'an to work as a clerk.

The work was complicated, but it was very easy. Li Yu'an would often start drafting while packing the bookshelves, and then went back to the rental house to write directly after work.Because I have more time to write manuscripts, I can also polish them and submit them to some good magazines.

Occasionally, he would see his own articles in magazines in bookstores, and these articles would even bring him more than his salary.

He changed his mobile phone card and canceled his previous mobile phone number.

I never logged in to QQ again, I changed my password a few times, but it was all a random combination of letters and numbers, and finally I forgot my password as I wished.

He hasn't disposed of the house in the alley yet, and the furniture in it is still there, and he hasn't moved many things away.

He could have rented it out, but for some reason he didn't want anyone else to live in it.

Days passed by, the life at two o'clock and one line was simple and boring, with one less noisy person around him, he returned to the original point.

Breakfast is getting more and more perfunctory, going to bed later and later, not caring about the weather at all, sometimes wearing a thin sweater to go to work...

Everything is very similar to him before meeting Yang Siyuan.

It's a good sign, it can help him forget Yang Siyuan as soon as possible.

When spring comes in March, flowers are placed in the bookstore early, and it looks quiet.

A girl came to the bookstore, named Cen Huan, the cashier, very good at taking care of flowers and plants, with a baby face smiling every day to attract people.

"Brother Li? Can you help me take down that potted flower, I can't reach it." Cen Huan said to Li Yu'an, holding a watering can.

"okay."

Li Yu'an took the flower pot from the bookshelf and handed it to Cen Huan.

They lived in the same direction, and Li Yuan often bumped into her when she was off work.Over time, the two often go home together.Li Yu'an also felt that a little girl was not safe at night, so he would take her home on the way and then go back by himself.

At the end of March, on the day the hyacinth in the flower shop died, Cen Huan confessed his love to Li Yu'an.

The night view of the city was colorful and bright, and the flickering lights fascinated Li Yuan's eyes.There was a lot of people, but Li Yu'an felt that the city was empty.

"I'm sorry," he said.

Perhaps because he expected the ending, Cen Huan was not sad.

Just be friends, don't take it to heart.He remembered what Cen Huan said.

He admired Cen Huan very much, because she did it.

She quickly gave up pursuing Li Yu'an, and soon fell in love with an apprentice from the cake shop next door.

He didn't have to send her home anymore, and he didn't have to worry about delaying a girl.

He often thought, if only he was like Cen Huan.

If you know there is no result, give up immediately.

If so... that's fine.

He sat in the rented house, looking at the neon lights outside the window, the car lights drawing beautiful tracks, and red men and women hurriedly walking on the road.

He was just like this, with no focus in his eyes, just looking at the outside world like this.

Those prosperity seemed to have nothing to do with him.

When he is in a daze like this, he can't help but think of Yang Siyuan and what Chen Limei said to him a few months ago.

"Xiao An, Auntie is not such a feudal person, and knows a little about you. It's just that... our Xiao Yuan is a normal child, and he can't play with you. And he will take the college entrance examination soon. You two... it's rare to see each other in the future, okay?"

She didn't get angry, she didn't scold.She told Li Yu'an calmly and earnestly.

But every word she said, gouged him out one by one, like Ling Chi.

Yang Siyuan is a normal child.

And he is not.

He is not.

The medicine at home was brought over by him, and it was still placed by the bedside.

He looked back at the small medicine bottle and suddenly felt a burst of relief.

It's good, Yang Siyuan is not his concern anymore, he finally changed back to his former self.

The self who can die in peace after paying off his debts.