after the canary rebellion

A few muffled thunders sounded, and it was spring in Yidu.

These days, Lin didn't know why Xie Zaiyuan said to him: "Among so many methods, you chose the one that is the most stupid to yourself."

The headache was worse than the nausea from the side effects of the medication, but he didn't want to take antidepressants for fear of waking up with a pile of hair next to his pillow.

To him, this change was no different from Ling Chi, and his sense of fear far outweighed the pain in his body.

Sometimes Lin also admires Xie Zaiyuan for being able to think about many things calmly, taking all the consequences into consideration before proceeding, and making mistakes afterwards is wrong. this one.He was Xie Zaiyuan's unexpected deviation.

When he was in pain, he was so painful that he passed out, and when he woke up, the cold sweat on his back soaked his clothes.The nurse persuaded him to take medicine, and he said that letting him watch his hair loss, gain weight, and memory decline would be worse than death, and the headache is really worse than death.

This situation made him very irritable. When the door of his room was opened, he subconsciously thought it was a psychiatrist, and he begged helplessly: "Don't come."

"Why don't you come? You need to talk to people more." The person who came was also in a white coat. Lin didn't know his surname, and he had bandaged his right hand.

The doctor opened the curtains, and the weather outside was fine. Looking down, it was already a scene of peach blossoms and willows and greenery.Spring came late, but it changed the whole picture of the city at once, and there were vibrant scenes everywhere.

This ward has not changed due to the coming of spring. Dr. He heard that Lin was not hurt so much, and he was full of rejection for the treatment of depression. First, he was unwilling to take medicine, and second, he was unwilling to explain the cause of his anxiety. The proposal made Dr. He try to chat with someone, so he took the time to come and sit for a while.

"It's boring." Lin didn't see this person's familiarity, and he didn't feel so strongly repelled, so he replied weakly.

"A lot of couples end up breaking up. Apart from him, what else do you like? For example, eating hot pot, or traveling, you can try them after you leave the hospital."

Lin didn't shrink back on the bed and ignored him, and frowned when he saw the white coat, so Dr. He took off his coat and sat on the chair beside his bed.

"No wonder, you let your thinking go into a misunderstanding." Dr. He said, "Once the other party shows something that makes you dissatisfied, it is easy for you to collapse your faith and do irreversible things. Compared with liking others, you have to learn like myself."

"I have nothing to like about myself. I am extreme, stubborn, and not responsible." Lin did not give Dr. He any examples.

"I've seen a lot of people who committed suicide and came to the hospital because of their lover's denial or abandonment, but you really don't seem like a person who puts himself very lowly."

"That's right, I was the opposite of those people, I was too flattering, I almost fell to my death." Lin Mei frowned, gritted his teeth, and he started to feel pain, so he took a deep breath.

"It will feel better to talk about it. I don't mind you talking slowly from birth." Dr. He said.

Lin rejected the proposal without thinking: "I really don't know what else to say?"

It was inconvenient to take care of his hair during his illness, so he cut his long hair short, his bangs hung between his eyebrows, and when he lowered his head, he obediently looked like a college student.

"Those things that I can't think about, maybe there are other solutions from other people's perspectives. Even I, a doctor, often have to do it, not to mention that your work pressure should be greater than mine."

"Sorry, I really don't like to talk." Lin did not obviously start to hate the conversation in front of him, "Please stop asking, how much did Xie Zaiyuan give you? I will pay you as usual."

"Not loving and not needing are two different things. I found that you and Mr. Xie are somewhat similar. When talking about the conflict between the two of you, he said that it was all his fault. I think no matter how you understood before, In fact, he likes you."

"I know, so what? I don't really want to hear that name."

"Bet you don't want to hear the name, but actually want to meet this person,"

"You're wrong." Lin didn't smile softly, "Compared to my pain, Xie Zaiyuan should be in more pain than me. I just know that is enough."

"There is no need to torture each other. Even if you are not in pain, Mr. Xie is also in pain. You have lived here for so many days, and all the nurses are like chasing idol series. Every day they go to work and bet whether Mr. Xie will come. Before he goes on a business trip I often visit you, but I dare not come in every day, for fear of disturbing your rest, so I only look at you outside the door."

Dr. He described the appearance of the nurses to him, hoping that he could relax a little because of this, and then said: "Try to shift your attention away from Mr. Xie, otherwise is there any essential difference from before?"

"Sorry, I just want to be like this." Lin didn't play with his slender and slender fingers, which had a sense of transparency under the light.

"You should pin your hopes on the infinite possibilities in your future, not this person." Dr. He organized his words, "You don't have a favorite pet, favorite restaurant, or favorite tourist attraction, you should try to pay attention These." Doctor He enlightened him.

"So there is no need to talk like this, the two of us will definitely collapse." Lin did not tilt his head and looked out the window, "I once thought that I had a real life since I met Xie Zaiyuan, and nothing could be compared with him. Compared."

He said: "Tailor-made clothes, happy and excited emotions, and a warm room in winter, these are things I have never had before I met him. I understand the healthy state you want to express, but you overturn My world, even though it was made of one person, was considered sick by everyone, but I couldn't get out of it. I was forced to try it, and I almost died all over again."

He touched the scar on his right hand with his left hand, and those ugly scars were added to the back of his hand, like beautiful jade being smashed and cracked on the ground and then pieced together again.

Lin didn't cover the scar, and said: "It will be changed, but I can't change it for a while. I can't quit smoking, let alone quit him."

"The curtains are just drawn like this." Dr. He said, "Have you not been in the sun for a long time?"

Lin didn't rub his face, and said, "It hurts so much that I can't even eat."

"If you were my friend, not a patient, I would say don't despise life. What you are facing now is the price you pay for despising it. Since the previous years were not easy, you should work hard to live a better future point, rather than just give up and give up.”

Dr. He looked at the rose on the window sill. It had been blooming for a while, and it was still competing with the revived flowers and plants outside the window. There was no sign of withering. Lin Meizhi must have fed the pills inside.He said: "Oh, I can't explain to your attending doctor when I go back. I came here with a mission and went back without any progress."

In order to avoid the side effects of making oneself ugly and avoid being treated, she would rather suffer from headaches and depression. This is like a neurosis, but even if it is a neurosis, it is also a beautiful neurosis that loves beauty.

Who doesn't like beauty?

What's more, Lin Mei has a more glamorous face than ordinary people. It is very difficult for a person who is arrogant by nature to accept mediocrity. It is too cruel to let him watch himself slowly lose his original appearance and become ugly. negative effects.

After dinner, Lin didn't take a shower. He looked completely unfamiliar in the mirror. He touched his neck, and the scars had almost faded away. Then he pinched his face again, and there was no flesh at all. .There is a faint blue under the beautiful eyes, and the whole body is full of sickness.

Lin didn't toss and turn and fell asleep today, and felt pain in the middle of the night.

In the middle of the night, he clutched the pillow and collapsed against the head of the bed. He cursed and tried to cover his head. The nurse said, "It's a painkiller! Didn't Lin? Can't Lin hear me?"

Lin didn't wave away the pill, and resisted very fiercely, saying words of rejection on his mouth, and finally said harshly: "If you let me take it again, I will die immediately!"

The nurses held his hands and feet so that he would not injure himself. The doctor on night shift said that the possibility of side effects of the drug on him was very small, and it would be good for the long run. Lin did not weigh the pros and cons.Lin said without hesitation: "I don't accept the one-ten-thousandth possibility, I don't want it."

He stubbornly carried it day after day. In the chaos, the door of the ward closed and opened again. Someone pressed his shoulder and said, "What will happen if you eat it once? Just eat it once, okay?"

A thin layer of sweat broke out on Lin Mei's face, which was wet.His chest rose and fell, and he propped up his thin clothes: "It will be worse than death, Xie Zaiyuan, if you want my life, I will give it to you now, don't fucking do this to me."

Xie Zaiyuan said: "Whoever wants your life, I think you want my life."

Lin didn't struggle to open his eyes, which seemed to be covered with a layer of water vapor. Before he could speak, Xie Zaiyuan touched his hair first, the movement was very gentle, but it made his whole body tremble.

Originally, Lin Mei's wrist was restrained by several forces, which made him very painful. Now he came to his senses, only Xie Zaiyuan put a hand on his shoulder lightly, and the nurses, nurses and doctors all left.

Pale and chapped lips moved a few times, Lin Mei's eyes were distracted, and he kept struggling to avoid Xie Zaiyuan.Seeing Xie Zaiyuan reaching out to turn off the light, he screamed, "Don't turn off the light! It hurts."

The pain had nothing to do with the light, but Xie Zaiyuan still stopped his movements. Lin wanted to push Xie Zaiyuan away for a while, and then grabbed his back again, so hard that he could feel pain through layers of suit material.

Lin didn't hug him tightly, which caused Xie Zaiyuan to put him back on the bed, so he had to lie on the bed with him. Lin didn't feel so painful that he couldn't speak, crying intermittently, Xie Zaiyuan wanted to draw a tissue for him Erase, as soon as he left, Lin Bu hugged him even tighter, as if he wanted to merge with Xie Zaiyuan.

Such intimacy did not make Xie Zaiyuan happy, Lin Wu unconsciously shed tears that soaked the cloth on his shoulders, Xie Zaiyuan felt that he was burned by the warm and transparent liquid.

"Thank you Zaiyuan."

Lin didn't take Xie Zaiyuan's clothes, messed up the collar with his hands, buried his head on Xie Zaiyuan's body, the pain eased a little, and finally gave him the strength to speak again: "I'm fucking in so much pain."

Xie Zaiyuan wiped away his tears with his fingertips, and said, "Don't say stupid things."

"Do you know how painful it is?" Lin didn't raise his head and looked at him.

Xie Zaiyuan stared at Lin's red eyes, was stunned, then stroked his hair, and said, "If it's possible, I'd like to hurt you for you."

"You're not treating me well." Lin Mo's teeth chattered.

"It is my fault."

Lin didn't get over it yet, the pain made the scene in front of him distorted, and he wanted to vomit, but he could only retch and cough, and Xie Zaiyuan patted his back lightly.

Xie Zaiyuan didn't know how to take care of others, and his movements were clumsy. He was afraid that if he took heavy shots, it would hurt Lin. Lin was not too thin, and it was like holding a handful of bones in his arms.

In fact, Lin didn't feel his comfort at all. He rubbed his head on Xie Zaiyuan's shoulder, and finally bit him, as if he wanted to vent all the emotions accumulated for seven years through his own teeth.

However, these cannot be said to be self-indulgent and deserve it-because Xie Zaiyuan said that he loves him.

Xie Zaiyuan didn't push him away, and silently accepted the other party's joy, longing, fear, and hatred that almost swallowed him.

There was too much hatred, Xie Zaiyuan could only feel his hatred, but still hugged him, gently patted Lin Mo's back that was arched due to tension, felt that Lin Mo had relaxed a little, and then rubbed his reddened Thin wrist, said: "Don't be afraid, baby. We don't take medicine anymore."

The author has something to say: Thank you An Bi Fang w, Shi Ren, Shan Ye, Chi Zai, don’t cultivate immortals, Ku Ge wants to get rich, Huai Zhou, the overlord ticket of the girl in the box =3=