He is not worthy

you……"

I interrupted him, I didn't even bother to look at him, I turned around and walked slowly forward, I told him, "Thank you for your kindness, I can go back by myself."

After a long time, I pushed to all activities, I read a lot of books about split personality, I consulted a psychiatrist and asked her if it is possible to bring back the lost personality.There is no such precedent, she said.

I didn't drive that day, and when I came out of the psychological clinic, it started to rain heavily.

I didn't bring an umbrella, and I didn't want to hold an umbrella. I just walked in the rain like this, and my whole body was soaked.

I heard someone calling me, and without turning my head, I was grabbed by the shoulders and a black umbrella tipped over my head.

"Zhao Wenjia, what's wrong with you? Walking like this under such heavy rain?" His voice was like boiling bubbles. I stopped, and he stopped too. Looking at him with my head tilted, I asked, "Can you Disappear?"

He shivered, as if he was too cold, I curled up the corners of my mouth, pushed him away, and said to him: "If you can't disappear, don't appear in front of me, you are not Shen Yan."

25

After I went back that day, I had a fever. After taking two medicines and falling asleep, I woke up in the middle of the night with pain in all my bones. I called Bowen, but the call was not connected.I took a breath, got up with my drowsy body, glanced at the rain outside the window, then picked up the clothes on the sofa, I walked a few steps, and when I opened the door, I fell out without supporting my body.

I thought I would fall to the ground, but unexpectedly, I touched a piece of soft, familiar body, familiar smell.I raised my head and saw Shen Yan's face.

He asked me, "Zhao Wenjia, are you okay? Why are you so hot?"

I was so stupid, I took him as Shen Yan, curled up in his arms, and said, "Shen Yan, I feel so hurt."

He took me to the hospital. It was raining heavily. He took off his coat and covered me. He carried me into the car.I closed my eyes, grabbed the coat, I heard the sound of the car engine, and the rain that kept falling, "Pa-ta, pa-ta."

26

I'm not well, my whole body hurts even in my ankle bones.I'm curled up in the car, and he's strapping me on, and I can feel his hands reaching out to me, covering my face.

His hands were so cold, I opened my eyes and looked at him, he kept fastening my seat belt and met my eyes.There was a fire in my throat, and I couldn't speak. His fingers brushed the corners of my eyes, and I closed them again.

When we arrived at the hospital, he wanted to carry me out of the car, but I pushed him away and walked out by myself.He followed me, his coat covering me like an umbrella.Walking into the hospital lobby, I looked back at him, he was soaked through.

He went to register, I leaned on the chair, and after a few minutes he helped me to draw blood.I am very afraid of pinholes, and I frown even if a small sharp needle goes in.He suddenly blocked my eyes with his hands, and I heard him say, "Don't be afraid."

I froze, narrowed my eyes, and stared bluntly at the lines on the palm.

He was probably also taken aback, but he didn't withdraw his hand because of face, until I finished drawing blood, he put it down slowly.

I pressed the needle hole with cotton, but he tried to help me again, but I dodged it.

I was doing an allergy test over there, and I got a small swelling on my wrist, I'm allergic to penicillin.

He didn't leave when the IV was being applied, but stood by and looked at me. I heard him say, "What's the use of you ruining your body like this? He won't show up even if you get wet in the rain and get sick."

I said, "Shut up."

He stopped talking.

I leaned back in the chair and soon fell asleep because I was so tired, and woke up with an extra blanket on my body.He sat next to me, half kowtowed, it was Shen Yan's face but not his.I took a look and looked away.

I find it strange that before he plausibly drove me away and said he wanted to stay away from me, but why he appeared in front of me again and again now.

After waking up, he started to make a phone call, and his voice was very soft. When he saw me looking at him, he stood up and went outside.He came in again after a few minutes, and he asked me, "Are you hungry?"

I asked him back, "Why are you outside my house?"

This seems to be a difficult question to answer, he fell silent, and I asked him again, "Why did you give me all your wealth in the so-called non-disclosure agreement?

Now that you have already figured out the way forward, why cancel the wedding?Your father sent a message to sever ties with you, what are you thinking? "

He didn't speak, as if it made it difficult for him to speak, he pursed his lips and said nothing, his face darkened.My back was stiff in the chair, staring at him, watching him step back step by step, and then leave in anger.

I thought he was finally leaving, but I didn't expect him to stop at the door, his back tensed, and he said to me in a cold voice, "You have a fever, so you can only drink porridge."

After he went out, I asked the nurse to borrow a mobile phone to call Bowen, the phone was connected, and I asked him to pick me up immediately.I returned the phone to the nurse and asked her to remove the needle for me.The nurse asked me that I hadn't finished hanging up yet, and I told her that I wanted to change to another hospital.

I didn't wait for that Shen Yan to come back, I threw my coat on the chair and left first.

27

I was waiting at the intersection when Bowen's car arrived. I opened the door and fell in, lying on the back seat.Bowen was taken aback and asked me what was wrong. I said I had a fever and went to the hospital.

Bowen didn't move, I knew what he was thinking, smiled, I said, change to another hospital, Shen Yan is here, and the car started immediately.

"Did you get the phone for me?"

"Here you are." Bowen handed me the mobile phone with one free hand, and he said to me, "There are several calls from above."

After I took it, I glanced at the number and refused the call directly.When I opened WeChat, a message popped up saying that it was Shen Yan who released me from the blacklist. I thought it was funny, but this time it was my turn to block him.

The feng shui turns, but I don't feel relieved, because... my Shenyan is gone.

I buried my face in my arms, and my body twitched. I wondered if my curse had come to fruition. It turned out that he was really gone.

I remember he asked me before, and he said, Wen Jia, if one day I change and I am no longer me, don't be angry, because I just bought a job and will be back soon.

I didn't understand at all at the time, I just laughed at what he was joking about.He hugged me and said to me, Wen Jia, I like you so much.

I should have figured it out a long time ago, my Shen Yan is the best person in the world who loves me the most, even if he forgets me, he won't treat me like this.

I should have known.

I changed to a private hospital, asked Bowen to handle the hospitalization procedures for me, and stayed directly in a single ward.

I asked him, "How does Shen Yan know where I live now?"

Bowen was puzzled, "Didn't you tell him the address when you ran to him to keep him?"

I said, "I'm so stupid."

Bowen sighed, "You just woke up?"

I gave him a blank look and said to him, "Change my house, I don't want to see him anymore."

"Why did you suddenly figure it out? Don't love him anymore?"

I looked at Bowen and I said, "He doesn't deserve it."

28

After I figured it out, I thought about the way I've been clinging to that Shen Yan for the past two years. No wonder he resisted every time I showed him photos or videos, as if he swallowed a fly.

It's kind of funny, he must have annoyed me to death, he finally got his body back, and he still has to be entangled by me.He is the proud son of heaven, he has an upright life, he has a bright future, he is different from me.

I stayed in a private hospital for two weeks, and Bowen arranged a house for me.

After I was discharged from the hospital, I went to the gallery first, and I wanted to move some of the paintings left there to my new home.As soon as I arrived at the gallery, I saw a white sports car at the door, and a person got out of the car, and the person walked towards me directly.

"Finally see you."

The man came trotting towards me. I knew him as the architect who bought my painting at Sotheby's.He is not tall, holding a painting in his hand, covered by a canvas, like a frog standing on two feet

He stood in front of me and said straight to my face, "Shen Yan is so fucking sick. I didn't tell you that you belonged to him. I beat me up and gave me shoes in secret." He handed me the painted painting, "I'll return this painting to you."

I took it with both hands and pulled the canvas away. Looking at my fashionable and immature style, I was kicked in my heart, and I felt a little unstable all of a sudden.

The man gave me the painting, and said, "Please go back and tell your Shen Yan, don't bother my company anymore, he and I are in two fields, why does he lose so much money every day?"

I didn't speak, I stretched the picture frame, my arm hurt.

29

I no longer go to see a therapist, I just lie on the sofa by the window, listen to the sound of rain and thunder on rainy days, and bury myself in a blanket to sleep on sunny days, but I can’t sleep at all, I just don’t want to do anything.

Bowen was very worried about me, and I felt uncomfortable hearing his voice, and I said to him, "I've been making you worry about me, and it's hard for you to have me as an unconscious person."

He said, "What's wrong with you, Wen Jia? Don't think so, it's my duty to take care of you."

I just say thank you to Bowen.

In fact, the people around me are very kind to me. When I was young, I wanted to learn to draw, but my family had no extra money, so my parents sold a house for me to study abroad.They told me, just learn what you want and don't worry about it.

I am alone in a foreign country, and I gradually feel the hardship of life. Sometimes I cry at night, and I want to go home when I can't support it.

My mother asked me how I was doing, but I dared not tell her that I was not doing well.

Until later met Shen Yan.He said that I am his strength, but why is he not the strength to support me to live.I am not happy, every day in the nameless days