He is not worthy

Bring the contract and ask me to sign the agreement.

I know he wants to get rid of me as soon as possible, and I don't want to make it harder for him.I barely looked at it and signed my name.Shen Yan gave me a copy, and he said to me, "Afterwards, my legal advisor will discuss the details of the contract with you."

I threw the contract aside, and I turned and repainted the canvas, and I said, "Go to Bowen."

I didn't go to see him, he stood behind me, like standing for a while, I heard his slow breathing, after a while, he said: "Zhao Wenjia, goodbye."

After a few footsteps, the door opened and closed gently. I turned my head to see that he had already left.

I dropped the painting knife in my hand, went and slammed the door open, the corridor was empty, and he was gone.

10

Bowen told me that Shen Yan is not worthy of my love for him.

I correct him, it's Shen Yan now.

I said, the old Shen Yan was great, he would make me happy and pamper me.I was hungry, and he would drive out most nights to buy me a midnight snack.He makes breakfast every day. I have hypoglycemia, so he often tells me to eat on time.In the snowy day of [-], he built a snowman in the snow, put a ring on the snowman, he hid behind the snowman, and when I approached, he suddenly jumped out.I was startled, he knelt on the ground with the ring on one knee, and he said to me, Wen Jia, let's get married.

Bowen said, what happened next?

I smiled, and I said, we plan to immigrate when we come back from Tanzania.

He showed a regretful expression, I shrugged my shoulders, took a sip from the wine glass, I tried my best to make myself look not so miserable, and I said to him: "There is a saying in China that the world is impermanent. I have to watch it."

Look away, look away, just a few fucking seconds, I said to myself.

11

I fell in love, and I don’t know if it counts or not. Anyway, it was someone I met at a party, who was seven years younger than me, and was still studying in the Academy of Fine Arts. He was very young.I watched two movies and had a meal with him, and he called me brother.

He went to school after the summer vacation. He probably had a lot of luggage, so I told him to drive him off. He was very happy to hear that.My car was parked downstairs at his house. He was carrying a big bag and pushing two suitcases. I got out of the car and helped him carry the suitcases into the car.

I asked him, "Are you going to move your whole family to the school?"

He smiled and leaned over to kiss me, I turned my face and his kiss landed on my cheek.

I accompanied him to the dormitory. No one came in the dormitory. I watched him take out those things one by one and throw them together in a mess. I sighed and packed his luggage for him.I got off his bed, he was sitting on a chair looking at me, he stood up, walked up to me, squeezed my chin, we kissed.

I'm trying to accept a new life, a new lover and a new kiss, it's not easy.

12

Yang Xia is very clingy, and Shen Yan was also very clingy before.

So I am quite used to the sticky way of getting along with him. We eat, chat and watch movies like all couples. He sometimes comes to my studio, looks at me with adoring eyes, and tells me that he will Be like me too.

We came out of the studio, and I took him to a nearby restaurant for dinner.The online reviews of this restaurant are good. There are a lot of people during this time period. He and I waited for a few tables outside before we got a seat.I don't know what he likes to eat, so I let him order it himself. He picked a few, and I added a few more dishes.

During the meal, Yang Xia told me about his plans after graduation. I took a bite of water spinach and listened attentively to what he said.I don't give a lot of advice, and when he talks to me, I just nod to show that I'm listening.

He asked me, "Brother, have you ever been hesitant and confused like me at this time?"

I froze for a moment, and the chopsticks touched the side of the bowl, and I said, "Yes."

"How did you survive?"

I hesitated and said, "If someone is with you, I'll make it through."

I opened my eyelids and looked at Yang Xia, he stared at me and asked me: "Is this the one you love?"

I said to him, "It's the one who loves me."

Yang Xia asked: "Then do you love me?"

I didn't answer, and our atmosphere fell silent.

Coming out of the restaurant, the evening wind blows on your face.I told Yang Xia that I would take you back, but Yang Xia shook his head and told me he should go back by himself.

I paused and said yes, be careful on the road.

He didn't speak, he looked at me silently under the street lamp, I pursed my lips, he suddenly took my hand, he pulled me over, and hugged me hard.I was startled and struggled to leave, he called my name, I felt someone screaming, people began to gather around, I said to Yang Xia, "Let me go."

Yang Xia didn't let go, I whispered: "Don't do this, there are people watching."

He said, "Brother, are you going to break up with me?"

"I didn't say that." Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a passer-by pick up his mobile phone to take a picture. I grabbed his hand and tried to pull him away. He thought I was angry and tried to hold me back.I took a deep breath, at this moment, Yang Xia was pulled away with both hands, my shoulders were hugged, I looked up and saw Shen Yan.

He seems to have lost some weight.

He asked me, "Are you okay?"

Without saying a word, I took his hand away.I looked at Yang Xia, the child was about to cry, I walked towards Yang Xia and held his hand, I said: "I'd better send you back."

Yang Xia grabbed me with his backhand and said, "Brother, I'm sorry."

I gave him the car keys, "Go first, I'll come over later."

I turned to look at Shen Yan, "Thank you."

Shen Yan's assistant was asking passers-by to delete the photo. He walked up to me and asked, "Who is that person?"

"Boy friend."

He frowned, smiled again, and said, "So small?"

Those three words were said by him as if he was mocking people, I suddenly felt annoyed, I held back my breath, and said mockingly: "Is it up to you?"

He stopped talking, I had mixed feelings in my heart, I looked at his face, resisted the urge to crush him, turned around and left quickly.

13

Yang Xia and I still blew it later.

I made a mistake in this relationship. I overestimated myself and underestimated Shen Yan's influence on me.I think things are too easy, I shouldn't believe the interpretation on the encyclopedia, what in order to forget a person, you have to get to know someone again, time can make people forget, it's all fucking nonsense.

Time makes me unable to forget him, it will only make me sink deeper and deeper, think more and more and hurt more and more.

In November, Ripple came to me suddenly, and he looked a little strange.I thought it was because he found out about my drinking again, and just as I was about to explain, I heard him say: "Wen Jia, the contract you signed before is not right, let me calculate, Shen Yan almost gave away all his property Transferred to your name."

14

Shen Yan gave me the best memory in my life.

He once knelt on one knee in the snow, and the snowflakes fell on his eyelashes. He blinked slightly and smiled at me.

He said, Wen Jia, I will be with you all my life, I love you.

Hope ignited in my heart, I... I wonder if it's not that he doesn't love me, he has other secrets.

I said to Bowen, I'm going to find him.

I drove to his company, but he was not there, so I drove to his house.

I got out there a year ago and haven't been back since.I parked the car at the gate, stood outside the yard and rang the bell.

The doorbell rang three times, and a woman's voice came through the intercom.

"you are?"

I was stunned, and suddenly felt a little thirsty, I whispered: "Excuse me, is Shen Yan there?"

"He's out, what's the matter with you? I'll relay it to him."

I asked, "Are you his?"

"I'm his fiancée."

It was an unprepared blow. I really felt as if someone had hit my head hard, and I even felt dizzy.I leaned on the wall to stand still, took a deep breath, and said, "Sorry, I... I made a mistake."

I quickly pressed the doorbell and walked back. My face was hot, and my whole body seemed to be on fire, with pain from head to toe.

I made a mistake, I was really too stupid, too arrogant and too cheap, why should I think he would like me.Why can't I understand, why can't I recognize the reality, he forgot me, really forgot me.

Even if you think about it in the future, it's useless.He is married, has a wife and will have children, he will no longer have Zhao Wenjia in his life, and he, Shen Yan, has nothing to do with me.

A horn sounded, I turned my head, the black Lincoln car windows lowered, Shen Yan frowned and looked at me, "Why are you here?"

Suddenly, I made eye contact with him. At that moment, there was nowhere to hide all the leaked emotions in me. Under his gaze, I turned my eyes away and subconsciously glanced at the video doorbell that was outstretched.He got out of the car, grabbed my hand, and asked me, "What did you say to her?"

I pulled his hand away, "I didn't say anything."

He frowned like he was bored, I stared at his face, and I said, "Why are you paying me so much money?"

He was startled, probably because he was afraid of being seen, and he pulled me into the car.My spine hit the car seat, and it hurt a little, I let out a low sound, and he slammed the car door shut.He also sat in, his breath oppressing me, I looked at his profile, and he said, "Fasten your seat belt."

He drove the car to the beach, and it was already evening, the waves and the setting sun merged together, and the sea water turned into a large area of ​​warm red.He opened the sunroof, lit a cigarette, held the steering wheel with one hand, and held the cigarette in the other.

"You never smoked before?"

He took a puff, exhaled the smoke slowly, and said to me, "Didn't you never drink before?"

I stopped talking, he shook the ash into the cigarette box, I coughed a few times, and he pinched the cigarette.

he treats me