The Cyanided Heart

"No.2...why didn't you take the first place?"

Hayes sat on the ground touching her red and swollen face, watching her father smash the furniture, she couldn't let the tears fall.

"I... I tried my best..."

Before Hayes finished speaking, he was kicked several meters away by his father.She struggled to get up, tears could not stop falling down.

"sorry Sorry……"

"You useless thing, if your brother is still there, he will be much better than you!"

"I shouldn't have paid you to study in the first place!" My mother also echoed.

Why do they like brother so much... Hayes wiped his tears vigorously, letting the abuse pour into his ears.

...

The classmates seemed to be talking about the latest cartoons and magazines, but Hayes just wrote silently.Even if there is a TV at home, strict parents will not allow themselves to watch for a minute.

"Hey, Hayes!" A classmate came over, "Have you seen the latest space warrior? The protagonist is really handsome..."

"Yeah...it's very handsome..."

Hayes muttered twice, and once again focused on the homework and books in front of him.

Stop talking... I haven't seen it at all.

Hayes was born into a local noble family.Because Hayes' parents favored her elder brother, Hayes suffered from strict discipline and even neglect from his parents since he was a child.Unfortunately, Hayes' elder brother died of illness when he was 12 years old. Hayes was asked by his parents to "be a good doctor and win glory for the family".

But this is only the beginning of the nightmare.After the death of her older brother, Hayes' parents became increasingly strict with her.

Just because "the subjective opinion is not correct" is not allowed to touch these cartoons, why?Hayes clenched his pen tightly, and his eyes became a little blurry at some point.

I can't get their praise no matter what, maybe praise is just a luxury.Hayes lowered his eyelashes.Even if they got the first place in the test, they were still nitpicking, "If your brother is here, you can't be as good as him."

why?

Hayes' handwriting was broken.

...I don't understand.

What am I studying for?

...

"Hayes Funkdo, that's amazing! This time he's number one in the school..."

"Thank you teacher." Hayes put on a naive smile, "You taught me well."

"This kid is both humble and powerful!"

"goodbye teacher!"

"See you!"

Turning his back, Hayes put away his smiling face.

has no meaning?Every day like this, showing these guys a smiley face...it's disgusting.All I want is their admiration, even a little compliment, just a little bit.

I don't want to see your angry faces, I'm not a useless person... I'm no worse than my brother.

I am obviously as good as my brother.why.

...

Gradually, they changed from beating and scolding to being cold and indifferent, but I got used to it.That's because at the time when I was in college, I got into the medical school they were expecting as I wished.But before I left, no one saw me off at the station, let alone someone helped me with my luggage.

As long as I can stay far away from them, I don't care. If they stop my living expenses, I will go to work to earn money.I don't know why I study, let alone why I live.

The scars of the body have already healed, but the wounds of the soul are always white smoke.I was jealous of those children who were happier than my childhood. At first I didn't care about this jealous seedling, but later on, I even had the idea that those children were my enemies... That's right, I wanted to kill them with my own hands.

Fuck me, I finally found the meaning of that twist.Why can you laugh in your childhood, but I can't?

...

"Leia?"

Hayes shook his hand in front of her, and Leia came back to her senses.

"Fascinated?" Hayes smiled, "...the storytelling eloquence is also thanks to them."

"No wonder you have always been keen on those cruel experiments." Leia sighed, "Hayes, you are really a top student."

"That sounds weird." Hayes frowned, "...I think I've been doing wrong things with wrong ideas, and it's time for me to reflect on myself."

"…yes."

"It's really not enough to be bound by the past." Hayes smiled with relief, "I don't have much contact with them. I think... I want to live out my own world."

"What are you going to do?"

"Okay, I figured it out. No matter how happy it is, it's someone else's life, and I can't take that happiness as my own. But ah... If you always compare yourself with others, you will only fall into the quagmire of jealousy, It's such a boring thing, it's better to live happily." Hayes scratched his head, "That's right..."

"what?"

"For a person like me who is afraid of trouble... I finally came up with this kind of brain-intensive idea." Hayes curled his lips, "Since I haven't received any compliments, I want one from my colleagues." compliments."

"..."

Hayes was looking at Leia expectantly.

"Well... you did a great job."

Hayes smiled happily like a child.

"Yes! I will continue to work hard!"

...

I used to think that way too.

Leia came to the remote coffee shop according to the agreed address. As soon as the boss heard the name Brooks Reithford, he rushed over to greet her and led herself to a table by the window in the shop.

"Has it always been this deserted here?" Leia frowned.

"Miss, to tell you the truth." The boss sighed, "There is a research institute nearby. If it weren't for their funding, we wouldn't have come here to open a shop."

"Research institution?" Leia thought for a while, "...So it's an internal store."

Not long after that paper was published, Leia received a letter from Brooks Retherford.The general content of the letter is that he wants to ask himself out for a meeting, and he has something to say.

"What... so mysterious." Leia sighed.

There were greetings at the door, and Leia turned her head.I saw Brooks and the boss waved, and then walked straight to this side.

"Leia...you're here."

Brooks snuffed out the cigarette in his hand and exhaled nearly nothing white smoke.There are faint dark circles under his eye sockets, his messy curly hair looks even older, and the only thing that is alive may be his pair of dark brown eyes.

"Hello."

The boss brings over two cups of coffee.Brooks nodded, signaling the boss to leave.

"You work at the Medical Research Center in Auschwitz." Brooks picked up the sugar cube. "You can develop well there. It seems that Gray is thinking of you."

"Yes, Dr. Gray, he... has done his best to help me in many ways." Leia lowered her eyes, "This kind of thing happened, I..."

"Ah..." Brooks stirred the coffee, "After all, the dead will not come back to life. It can be seen that he cares about you in more than one way."

"how do I say this?"