bother you

"He has a relapse, and I should be the one who should be notified immediately." Lin Haocheng trembled slightly with his fingers holding the cigarette, his face showing regret and worry, "But he didn't dare to let me know, he was afraid that I would be worried because of this. I... I understand."

The tea was already cold, Yan Xiao stared at the tea leaves sinking at the bottom of the cup, and sighed deeply.

"The doctor said back then that his mind was severely injured and the best time for treatment was delayed. He hoped to live like a normal person in the future, but it was almost impossible for his personality to change from introverted to cheerful." Lin Haocheng said: "I was young at the time and felt that there was no Nothing is impossible. Now that he is my child, it is my duty to make him well. I read him stories every day, take him out to play, and half coax and half force him to talk. The doctor said that exercise is good for depression. It is very important for patients with cancer, so I took him to the detachment for running, playing, and swimming. He was rescued by our entire SWAT detachment, and everyone took good care of him. When I was on a mission, he lived in the detachment and was not noisy , very well behaved."

As he said that, Lin Haocheng's eyes drifted away, and there were faint tears.

"He didn't like to talk before, but he was actually very sensible and grateful. He knew that all the things I did with him were to hope that he would get well soon, so he worked very hard to change himself. He had great reactions to the drugs, but He never resisted drugs because of discomfort. I remember my birthday that year, and he said he also wanted to make a wish. I asked him what he wished, and he said he wanted to be a healthy child as soon as possible.”

Yan Xiao covered his face, his shoulders trembling.

Lin Haocheng paused for a long time, "He didn't need to see a psychiatrist when he was seven years old. Boys at that age are skinny. He is quieter than others, but he is already a normal child. He asked me——Dad, what are you doing?" Do you want me to be more rambunctious? Of course I hope, it’s funny to say, our whole team wants him to be skinny, the skinier the better. Because... because we have all seen him when he was five years old, it’s so pitiful. He No matter how naughty you are, I don't think it's enough."

"He started to take the initiative to play with boys of the same age. At first, he was often bullied because he looked like a girl. I taught him to fight. He is smart, talented, and he can learn as soon as he learns. He also loves sports and insists on exercising every day, physical fitness and strength It's all good, it's not a problem to clean up a group of children of the same age. But guess what is the reason why he fought for the first time?"

Yan Xiao said hoarsely: "Help other bullied children."

Lin Haocheng was a little surprised, "He told you?"

Yan Xiao shook his head, rubbed his red eyes, "He is that kind of person."

Lin Haocheng pondered for a while, then smiled emotionally, "You really know him very well. Yes, the first time he fought was to save a little boy who was being bullied. One person fought against a dozen of them, and his body was painted. , but also defeated those stinky kids."

Yan Xiao said softly, "It's something he can do."

No matter where he is, there are thousands of lights on his body.

"He became the king of kids, his personality became more and more cheerful, and he had more and more friends." Lin Haocheng shook off the soot, "When he was a teenager, he was too skinny, and even I couldn't stand it. But I am happy, he Finally came out from the shadow of childhood."

Zhaofan was lying on the bed, staring at a point of nothingness in the darkness with his eyes wide open, with his hands on his chest, gently stroking the Jade Guanyin hanging around his neck.

This small jade item, which is not of high quality, was bought as a gift to Yan Xiao, but he has been wearing it all the time.

Today, Yan Xiao suddenly appeared, he was both surprised and happy, and his stagnant mood finally had some ups and downs.

When he was at the border, he didn't know how Yan Xiao had been in the past three years, and whether he still needed his "like".

Now, the appearance of Yan Xiao is the answer.

Yan Xiao hasn't given up on him yet, and still wants to ask him for this "like".

While he was happy, he also felt guilty.

At that time, he insisted on refusing, regardless of Yan Xiao's mood, and insisted on becoming an anti-drug policeman. A phone call cut everything off on New Year's Eve, and he left without looking back. It was not only to chase his dream, but also to escape.

It's not that he didn't think about what kind of life Yan Xiao would experience after losing him.But he never dared to think about it, and deluded himself into thinking that everyone is an adult in their 20s, so how can there be a scene that he can't get tired of?After a long time, Yan Xiao naturally let go.Moreover, Yan Xiao once admitted that it was "love at first sight" for him.

The most unreliable "love at first sight".

After not seeing each other for three years, Yan Xiao became more restrained and mature, and the gentleness in his gestures was the projection of a strong inner heart, but after spending half an afternoon with him, he felt that Brother Xiao was still the same Brother Xiao as before, and hadn't changed at all.

But he is no longer the Zhaofan he was three years ago, now he is covered in scars, gloomy, no longer talkative, and not interested in anything.

Yan Xiao came here for him, is he very disappointed to see him become like this?

He also vomited in front of Yan Xiao, so embarrassing and annoying.

In the restaurant, when Yan Xiao brought the pork rib soup, his stomach started to churn.But Yan Xiao kept looking at him with a smile and encouraged him to take a sip.

He thought of the hardships he suffered when he participated in various special trainings in the past, and kept telling himself in his heart——I could endure all kinds of hardships before, but now I can’t even drink a mouthful of soup?

He drank the soup, but vomited it all up.

When he stood up by the pool, he saw Yan Xiao frowning tightly, his face very ugly.He embarrassedly took the paper from Yan Xiao, and tried his best to smile at Yan Xiao.

He knew that his smile was ugly.But no matter how ugly it is, it's better than losing a face.

Originally, he planned to take the Jade Guanyin off his neck and give it to Yan Xiao after dinner.But after vomiting, he suddenly lost his mood, let alone his courage, and went back to his room early to look at his pale self in the mirror.

The mother's scream sounded in my head again, "You are annoying, no one will like you, I should never have had you, why don't you die!"

He blocked his ears, but couldn't stop the curse.

Am I already getting tired of Xiaoge-depressed patients always tend to deny themselves, and he can't escape this vicious circle, muttering to himself-seeing me throwing up, does he already hate me?

A voice in my heart said, who can blame this?Blame yourself!You ignored Brother Xiao for three years, and fled cruelly in the name of meritorious deeds. He should have tired of you long ago!

Doctor Zhu came and talked with him for a while, but he didn't see Yan Xiao, and wanted to ask Yan Xiao why he didn't come and if he had already left, but he couldn't ask.

In the darkness, the sweat from the palm of his hand was wiped on Jade Guanyin.He sat up, wiped the Jade Guanyin clean, then walked to the window, staring blankly at the night outside the window.

He wanted to get better, but he didn't know if he could get better.

"Doctor Zhu." Yan Xiao said, "I want to take Zhaofan out of here."

Doctor Zhu and Lin Haocheng looked at him.After a while, Dr. Zhu shook his head, "I'm afraid it won't work now. Zhaofan is a first-class hero in the anti-drug campaign, and he is also a 'sharpshooter' specially awarded by the Ministry of Public Security. He is very important. He should receive treatment in the rehabilitation center until his mental condition has not improved significantly."

"But he has lived here for two months, and his injuries are indeed healed, but his mental problems are still the same." Yan Xiao has an elder brother who is the captain of a special brigade, and his demeanor is somewhat of a soldier's courage, "You too We couldn't find an effective way to make him better for the time being, so we came to cooperate."

Dr. Zhu sighed, "I hope you can give him here and give me some help."

"I don't think the rehabilitation center is a suitable place for Zhaofan." Yan Xiao said, "You are an experienced professor of psychology and have helped many anti-drug police officers who have suffered trauma. But Zhaofan's situation is different from theirs. They are not the same—they should all be suffering from depression for the first time, while Zhaofan’s old illness has relapsed. In the afternoon, I walked around the courtyard with Zhaofan several times. There is nothing to say about the greenery and hardware facilities here, but you found that there is no , there is a lack of vitality in the market.”

Lin Haocheng nodded silently.

Doctor Zhu showed doubts, "But..."

"Although the ward here is independent and doesn't have to be crowded with other patients, it still doesn't feel like home." Yan Xiao said seriously: "Although the restaurant serves a variety of diets, it can't cater to every patient's taste. I wish the doctor, Zhaofan needs a home, and I can just satisfy him. Also, he used to like my cooking very much. He is anorexic and can’t taste meat. I think it’s not only the drug and psychological reaction, but also the reason of the chef——I I don't mean to complain about the rehabilitation center, you and other staff have tried their best, but only family members can take care of patients with depression meticulously."

Dr. Zhu pressed his brows together, "I'll think about it again. Tomorrow, I'll ask Zhaofan what he means."

Lin Haocheng looked at Yan Xiao, "Do you want to take him to Shancheng? Or Xuncheng? Why don't you go to Zhoucheng? When he was a child..."

"Go to Shancheng." Yan Xiao said: "I understand what you mean. You think he recovered in Zhoucheng when he was a child, so he should go to Zhoucheng to try now. But he is not a child anymore, Brother Hao, I I want to take him to the home I prepared for him. If he is not used to living in it, we will move back to the community we rented before. There are many memories of us there, and he should be used to living in it.”

Lin Haocheng said for a while: "You decide."

"Yan Xiao said that?" Zhao Fan sat awkwardly, "He wants to take me away?"

Doctor Zhu said: "Yes, I have also considered a lot. In your current situation, it may be better to leave the rehabilitation center. But it all depends on your own wishes."

Zhaofan lowered his head, his mood fluctuated violently.

Staying alone in the ward last night, he was so depressed that he couldn't extricate himself. The kind of pressure that only patients with depression can experience weighed heavily on him, making him almost suffocated with loss and negativity.

He didn't sleep all night, but learned from Dr. Zhu that Yan Xiao wanted to take him home.

Come back home?

"You don't need to reply immediately." Dr. Zhu said: "Yan Xiao has been in the rehabilitation center recently, you can contact him a few more times, and then take care of yourself..."

At this time, there was a restrained knock on the door.

Zhaofan and Dr. Zhu looked towards the door together.

Yan Xiao pushed the door open and entered.

Zhaofan's Adam's apple slipped, and he said softly, "Brother Xiao."

Yan Xiao walked towards him, held his cold fingertips, and was extremely gentle, "Follow me home and let me take care of you, okay?"