bother you

Spring in Shancheng is very short, and April is the season with the strongest spring.

The large bay window in the bedroom is covered with a soft cushion, and there are two square pillows on the left and right sides. The curtains are half drawn, covering half of the bright spring light.

Zhaofan was lying on his side on the cushion, holding a pillow in his arms, his upper body was in the shadow of the curtain, his calves and bare feet were exposed to the sunlight, white as jade.

He was wearing a set of light gray cotton pajamas. The pajamas were very thin and the top button was not buttoned. His chest rose and fell steadily with his breathing.

The door was ajar, Yan Xiao quietly walked to the door, looked inside, then returned to the living room, looking at the bottles and cans on the coffee table.

These medicines are from Zhaofan.

That day in the rehabilitation center, Zhaofan looked at him blankly, as if he didn't understand what he said.He waited patiently, but Zhaofan lowered his head and clenched his fingers awkwardly.

Two days later, he learned from Dr. Zhu that Zhao Fan wanted to go with him, but he had some unspoken concerns.

He found Zhaofan again and looked seriously into Zhaofan's eyes, "I bought a house in Shancheng. I have been writing all the time, my income is very stable, and I can completely control my time. Zhaofan, come back with me. What do you want to eat, I will make it for you. If I don’t know how, just learn now.”

Zhaofan's pupils contracted slightly, then released again, and his lips were pursed.

"You're not doing well here." Yan Xiao said again: "I'm really worried. Doctor Zhu said that you are different from many patients. They are negative and unwilling to cooperate with the treatment, but you are trying hard to get better. Yes ?"

After a while, Zhaofan nodded.

"Thinking is useless. Zhaofan, you have always been a person who has the courage to act. Why did you back down this time?" Yan Xiao squeezed his fingers gently, and said in a gentle voice: "Your past, Brother Hao has already Tell me everything. Be brave again, okay? I'll be with you this time, let's walk out together, okay?"

Zhaofan's eyes were red, and he looked at Yan Xiao quietly.

"Doctor Zhu said that you have concerns and difficulties." Yan Xiao continued: "But for now, let's put them all down first, okay? Come back to Shancheng with me, and when everything is better, we will find a way. Solve your...or our problems."

Zhaofan moved his jaw slightly, raised his collarbone, and retracted his hands.

Yan Xiao didn't let him shrink back, and released a somewhat tolerant and gentle force.

After a long time, Zhaofan said softly, "Yes."

On the day I returned to Shancheng, the weather was as good as today, and the sun shone on my body, as if I had put on a light sweater thoughtfully.

"I haven't been back for a long time." Yan Xiao dragged the suitcase, and held Zhaofan's wrist with the other hand-he has always held Zhaofan like this for a while now, the interlocking fingers are too close, he is worried about Zhaofan do not adapt.

Zhaofan shook his head, "I've been back."

He was surprised, "When?"

Zhaofan didn't answer directly, "I came back to perform a mission once."

Seeing that Zhaofan didn't want to say more, he didn't force it, but he couldn't help feeling regretful.

It turned out that Zhaofan had been back, and they had been in the same city for a short time in the past three years.

A taxi passed by "Happy Home", Zhao Fan followed the tall buildings outside the window, "I..."

"Huh?" Yan Xiao asked, "What?"

"Last time, I went..." Zhao Fan said with some difficulty, his eyebrows frowned, "I went to the place where we lived before. The lights, the lights are still on, but someone else lives there."

Yan Xiao half opened his mouth, unbelievable.

Zhaofan was still looking out the window, didn't notice his reaction, and continued to say slowly: "I was under a lot of pressure and lonely at the time, and I couldn't contact anyone. I felt sad, so I wanted to go there and have a look."

Yan Xiao said, "I'm there."

Zhaofan was stunned, "Huh?"

"I've been living there." Yan Xiao's eyes were deep, "The lamp you see is the lamp in my bedroom."

Zhaofan opened his eyes wide, "Did you move away?"

Yan Xiao sighed helplessly, "So we used to be so close."

"I'm sorry." Zhao Fan said.

"Don't apologize." Yan Xiao caressed the back of his hand, "Zhaofan, I don't need your 'sorry', I just want you to be happy."

When he got home, Zhaofan stood at the door, looking curiously and cautiously into the living room.

Yan Xiao took out his slippers, led him to visit each room, pointed to the bedroom with a large bay window and said, "You live in this room."

This room is obviously the master bedroom, Zhao Fan hesitated and said, "What about you?"

"I live in another room."

Zhaofan hesitated to speak.

Yan Xiao took the suitcase into the room, "Shall I tidy it up for you, or do you do it yourself?"

Zhao Fan quickly said, "I'll do it myself."

Yan Xiao looked at it for a while, then took out the medicines in the box and put them in the living room, and let him organize the rest by himself.

When everything was packed, Zhaofan broke out in a little sweat.Yan Xiao took him to the bathroom to take a shower, and noticed that the red string was still missing from his neck.

When they met again in the rehabilitation center, he hugged Zhaofan and saw the red rope on the back of Zhaofan's neck.It must be some kind of small pendant hanging from the red string.

He remembered that Zhaofan didn't have the habit of wearing pendants, and when they met later, the red string disappeared.

It should be Zhaofan who took off the pendant and put it there.

He wanted to ask, but didn't.

A week later, Zhaofan was very obedient, took medicine and meals on time, was woken up by him every morning, went to the sports field not far away for a morning jog, and then went to the supermarket with him to buy vegetables.When he was working in the afternoon, Zhao Fan stayed in the bedroom, either taking a nap by the big bay window, or reading with a book.In the evening, we went out for a walk together, and we went as far as the river. When we were tired and thirsty, we bought two bottles of Coke.

When he took the Coke for the first time, Zhao Fan smiled, "No ice."

"It's only April now," he said. "Wait until summer and drink iced Coke."

Zhaofan still can't eat meat, he can't eat any beef or pork, but he can eat some fish and shrimp.He bought fish and shrimp to make soup, and Zhaofan had a hard time eating it, but he probably didn't want to disappoint him, so he tried to eat as much as possible every time.

Every other day, he reported Zhaofan's situation to Dr. Zhu.

In fact, Zhaofan's mood has not changed much, and he is still in a state of depression and self-denial.

"Take your time." Dr. Zhu said on the phone, "It's considered an improvement if he eats more. He's only been with you for a week."

He asked: "Do you know that he has a small pendant? It is hung around his neck with a red string."

Doctor Zhu said, "It's a piece of jade."

Jade?

Yan Xiao was a little concerned about this piece of jade, and planned to wait for a while and find a chance to ask Zhaofan about it.

The sun became stronger, Zhaofan shrank his legs and woke up.

He sat up, crossed his legs, and was in a daze like most of the past two months.

In the dream just now, he dreamed of the time when he first met Yan Xiao six years ago.

Yan Xiao sat on the suitcase and ate grilled fish. He had nothing to do and helped Yan Xiao clean up the thorns; he asked Yan Xiao to read the stallion cool article written by "primary school students" in the electronic reading room, and Yan Xiao's expression was particularly exciting They washed the dog together in the pet grooming salon. In order to grab the computer, he did a dangerous front flip on the stairs. Yan Xiao told him not to do that in the future...

They are all memories that make him laugh every time he thinks about them, but in the current situation, these memories make him feel guilty and helpless.

That day, I didn't agree to Yan Xiao immediately, not because I didn't want to.

On the contrary, Yan Xiao offered to pick him up and take care of him, and he clearly felt his heart beating faster.

Of course he would rather go back to Shancheng than stay in the rehabilitation center.

But if he agrees, he owes Yan Xiao even more.

He was greedy for Yan Xiao's gentleness, wanted to be taken care of by Yan Xiao, and finally he was able to give Yan Xiao a belated "like".

But he knows better than anyone that he may still resist the most intimate physical contact.

That kind of resistance is almost deeply rooted and implanted in the soul. He is not sure whether he will be able to have sex with Yan Xiao in the future.

If you still can’t, have been unable to, then what should you do?

He already owes Yan Xiao a lot. Adults have needs to relieve their desires, but he can't satisfy Yan Xiao.

If he agrees to Yan Xiao this time, then he will never be able to escape again, and he is destined to be tied to Yan Xiao.He is afraid of having sex. Could it be that Yan Xiao wants to live a life without normal desires in order to accommodate him?So he struggled, hesitated, wanted to agree, but dared not.

When he finally nodded, the guilt welling up in his heart made him extremely uncomfortable.

But when he raised his eyes, he met Yan Xiao's smiling and relieved eyes.

He had a sore nose, stretched out his hand, and touched Yan Xiao's face.

There was a slight noise in the living room, he came back to his senses, got down from the big bay window, and put on his slippers.

Everything at home is the best for him, such as the slippers and pajamas, although they look ordinary, they are all carefully selected by Yan Xiao.

He thought Yan Xiao was working, so he walked very lightly, and planned to return to the bedroom immediately after taking the medicine.

Seeing that he woke up, Yan Xiao said with a smile: "Let me peel the fruit for you, green cantaloupe or yellow one, which one do you want to eat?"

"I..." He wanted to say that I can peel it by myself, but Yan Xiao had already gone to the kitchen, "Then let's have half of blue and yellow, and pour some yogurt, do you want grapes?"

"No grapes." He said hastily.

The day before yesterday, when he ran in the morning, he casually mentioned that he wanted to eat grapes. After waking up from his nap, he saw a bowl of grapes that had been peeled.

"You don't have to do this." He took the glass bowl and whispered, "I can peel it myself."

Yan Xiao agreed, "Okay, then you can peel it yourself next time."

Having said that, he was still worried that Yan Xiao would help peel again, so he didn't want to eat grapes.

Yan Xiao cut open the cantaloupe and introduced: "The boss said this kind of melon is called Baiyu melon, it is very sweet."

"White jade?" Zhao Fan thought for a while, and said after a while, "There are a lot of jade on the border."

Yan Xiao immediately thought that Dr. Zhu said Zhaofan was wearing jade.

Who gave the jade to Zhaofan?Zhaofan himself probably wouldn't buy jade to wear.

"Really?" Yan Xiao said, "Can you show me?"

Zhaofan was startled, "You know I have?"

"Last time you hung a red string around your neck." Yan Xiao said.

Zhaofan looked away, feeling uneasy.

He took off the Jade Guanyin hanging on his chest, just because he didn't want Yan Xiao to see it.When buying the Jade Guanyin, he naturally wanted to give it to Yan Xiao, but today is different, his old illness has relapsed, his mentality has changed drastically, and he no longer dares to give the Jade Guanyin to Yan Xiao.

Yan Xiao frowned lightly, "The jade under the red string..."

"It's my teammate's Jade Buddha." Zhao Fan said with his head down, "He sacrificed, and I haven't had time to return it to his family."

Yan Xiao felt a little sad in his heart, and after half a minute, he took a deep breath and said with a smile, "Come and eat cantaloupe."