sun, fall

On the second day of school, I arrived at school early in the morning and saw Chu Ling at the gate.He was wearing bright sky blue sportswear, which was particularly dazzling in the morning sun, and formed a strong contrast with most of the students in school uniforms.If he hadn't seen it with his own eyes yesterday evening, anyone would think that his family is very rich.

The moment he and I looked at each other, we both froze for a moment, but he immediately recovered and smiled at me.On the contrary, it was me, who suddenly looked a little embarrassed, muttered hello, and left in a hurry.When I was in class in the morning, I repeatedly recalled his smile, and always felt that there was an indescribable bitterness in it.

At noon that day, I hurriedly finished my meal, hesitated for a while, and then walked to the playground.Chu Ling was still playing ball there. When he saw me from a distance, he passed the ball to another classmate, then withdrew, and walked slowly to a corner of the playground—there were me and him, the old classmates who used to be together last semester. place.

"Yesterday, your parents didn't blame you for coming home too late, did they?" These were Chu Ling's first words.

"No." I replied hastily, and suddenly, I seemed to think of something, "Thank you! If there is no call from you last night, my parents must be in a hurry. If my mother calls the teacher's house, it will be completely Blind!—By the way, how do you know my phone number?"

"You told me—did you forget? At the end of last semester, you asked me a quadratic function math problem, but I couldn't—the number on your algebra book is your home Phone? At that time, you told me that your home phone number had just changed, so you made a copy of it in the book for fear of forgetting it.”

I looked at Chu Ling gratefully. In front of me, this extremely handsome sunny boy had already paid so much attention to everything about me.

——But at this moment, my heart sank again.Sure enough, I heard correctly, last night, the boy unloading in front of the clothing store was Chu Ling, and it was true!Moreover, when I realized it was him, he had already seen me!

Since that day, Chu Ling and I are still very close friends—at least, in the eyes of others, he and I are still the same as before, without any change.However, during our daily chats with him, there are many topics that neither of us mentions.Although, I have always wanted to ask about everything about Chu Ling's family.

In a flash, another two months have passed.Almost every day at noon, I am with Chu Ling, he likes sports very much, sometimes I play basketball with him, sometimes I find a plastic Coke bottle or mineral water bottle to play football with, and sometimes I chase him around and fight— —He and I are like two cute little animals, playing tenderly together.

During this period, my appetite became better and better.Half a year ago, I always felt that my stomach was full all day long, and my throat often felt stuffy; now, this kind of situation almost no longer happens. Every evening before school is over, I will feel hungry and go home Gobble up two bowls of rice and many dishes, and often do some push-ups after meals.

I gradually got used to it.I know that by the end of June, Chu Ling will be graduating and going to college—if he doesn't pass the college entrance examination, with his personality, he will probably work as a singer in a bar.I think he may join the entertainment circle in the future, maybe he will become a big star.

In addition, I am becoming more and more obsessed with handsome boys, and I buy more and more idol star magazines.My parents also grew accustomed to stacks of star magazines in my room.

In school, there was no girl who was too close to me; I didn't think there was any girl around me who was worthy of my affection.Sometimes, I also thought about whether I would be "gay": I only like men all my life, never get married, and when I grow up, I will be regarded as a freak...

However, this question, every time, I just think about it, and I don't want to think about it any more.After all, I am still young, less than 17 years old, and marriage is too far in the future.

However, I am not without the desire for love. Every night, before going to bed, I am filled with countless passionate and colorful sexual fantasies, such as:

There is a boy with a handsome body and a good figure, without any body hair or bad smell. His arms with elastic skin allow me to rest on them; my chest is tightly attached to his chest, Heartbeats seem to resonate with each other.It was very cold, and we had no clothes or bedding, only each other's bodies, cuddling each other for warmth.

For another example, there is a young and fit little brother next to me who has been injured, the wound may be on the shoulder, the back, or the chest—his sunny, wheat-colored skin has a long, The deep wound was covered with blood and flesh; and I used a tampon swab dipped in a debridement and pain-relieving ointment—or, alcohol, or even concentrated saline—to gently wipe around his wound one by one... …

Many times, I curled up under the quilt, or lay down on the pillow, fantasizing, while letting the unbearable tears flow quietly down my cheeks.

I don't know, since when, I have become so sentimental.In the past, I always thought that as a man, under any circumstances, one should not cry casually...

Especially, no matter how many handsome guys I watch, whenever I have a "climax" of "sexual fantasies", from the content of the fantasies to the scenes that seem to be happening, my "he" can't get rid of the shadow of Chu Ling.

At the end of April, several classmates in succession suddenly contracted hepatitis and were hospitalized.This caused a panic in the school. There were rumors that this was a serious infectious disease.In response to this, the school urgently announced that all students will be vaccinated in the near future.When May [-] was approaching, I happened to talk about this matter with Chu Ling, and Chu Ling's attitude suddenly became very strange, or rather, very impatient.

"There are so many people in the school. In fact, two people got hepatitis, and two were hospitalized, one with gastritis and the other with a broken bone. It has been several days, and I haven't heard of anyone else being infected. What kind of injection is it? , I still have to pay!"

The first day after the May Day holiday is said to be the day for injections.That day, Chu Ling did not come to school.To everyone's surprise, there was no injection that day.

On the third day after the long vacation, the second class in the afternoon is the time for outdoor activities of the whole school as usual.Before the free activities, all the teachers and students of the school gathered on the playground. Director Li first talked about some recent school discipline issues, and then announced that Chu Ling, who was in Class 6 ([-]) of senior high school, would be revoked for probation. At the same time, he announced that the other four The serious warnings and punishments given by her classmates were all because of cheating in the midterm exam... After a lengthy nonsense, before disbanding, she suddenly announced that the two grades of senior one and senior three will be divided into boys according to the order of the class during the free time. He and the girl went to two different infirmaries at the corner of the first floor for injections. (She also specifically explained: the second year of high school is about to take the five-subject exam, so she will not participate in free activities, and the injection will be postponed.)

Some homeroom teachers attach great importance to this kind of thing and direct the boys and girls in the class to line up separately.But Mr. Zhou in our class didn't care about such trifles at all, and just chatted with Mr. Ma from the Academic Affairs Office.Look over there, there are a lot of people queuing up, I'm not in a hurry, I'll play first and talk later.

I walked around the playground, looking around.Many students, especially boys, are wearing short sleeves, and many of them have rolled up their half sleeves, exposing their entire arms. Some of them can slightly see the outline of some muscles.This made me feel a little turmoil-obviously these boys are basically not handsome; I can't talk about being emotional for any of them.

However, after "searching" the playground for a long time, there was no sign of Chu Ling.Looking at those classmates, under the slightly scorching sun, they look alive and well, but I feel lonely, almost like an outsider, with a bit of helpless desolation, which arises spontaneously from the bottom of my heart.

After wandering aimlessly for a while, it suddenly occurred to me that Chu Ling probably went to the infirmary to get a vaccination.With this in mind, I hurried towards the teaching building, thinking wildly as I walked, I heard that the needle this time was very painful, and Chu Ling was in the infirmary... At the same time, in front of my eyes, there seemed to be such a screen:

In the infirmary, there was a big boy who was not very tall, but his body was full of sunny beauty, showing his not very thick but muscular arms.At the moment when the needle was stuck, his handsome face still had clear eyes, as if he didn't care, and between his brows, there was a look of determination.Perhaps, the injection was really painful this time, and the doctor's technique was not very good; perhaps, even the sunny and handsome him, the moment the needle pierced the skin, there would be a little fear deep in his heart. ——At that moment, I was by his side, and I would definitely look at him with tender eyes, and if he wanted to, he could hold my arm... No, he would not hold me hard, he would definitely be gentle with me I held hands, and comforted me silently with a gentle smile: "I'm not afraid, you don't have to worry. When you get the injection later, I will be by your side very gently!"

.........

While thinking wildly, I walked into the teaching building.In front of my eyes, it suddenly became dark, the sunlight outside was too strong, and my eyes seemed a little uncomfortable at this moment.There were not many people in the infirmary, but it seemed a little noisy.At this moment, I also suddenly felt a little nervous, but my pace accelerated instead.

"Look at how promising you are! You're such a worthless, worthless boy that you deserve to be a boy! I'm ashamed of you!" A burst of penetrating cursing interrupted my ongoing daydream, and I immediately saw, The teacher with that high-pitched voice was Chu Ling's class teacher and the leader of the school's mathematics teaching and research group.This person's temper is notoriously severe.

I immediately recovered my senses. At the door of the infirmary, a group of boys were pushing and shoving a big boy whose upper body was stripped off and whose figure looked very well-proportioned from a distance, urging him "Hurry up!" , "Look like a man, okay?", "Fuck, you all get out of the way, don't block the door, it's my turn!"

…… The big boy who was surrounded by several people kept shrinking back, yelling incoherently, "Don't push me, you all get an injection first, let me wait for a while".Two or three burly boys no taller than 1.8 meters tried to lift him up several times, but the boy struggled to break free.

——The boy who refuses to get an injection is exactly Chu Ling!