sun, fall

Shortly after the Spring Festival, school started, and I entered the second half of the first year of high school.

On the first day of school, on the way to school, I felt an inexplicable excitement in my heart, as well as an indescribable uneasiness.But that day, I didn't see Chu Ling.After lunch, I stood by the playground without Chu Ling, feeling relieved, yet relieved.After a long time, when I was about to leave, I suddenly realized that someone was patting me behind me.When I turned my head, it was my classmates Zhao Zhijie and Hu Yonghuan. They stared at me with weird eyes and half-smiles.

"Shao Yuan, tell the truth." Hu Yonghuan smirked, "Are you and Chu Ling gay? Am I right?" "It's okay, as long as you tell the truth, neither he nor I will tell the teacher." Zhao Zhijie also chimed in.

My heart suddenly trembled violently. "What are you talking nonsense about?"

"Shao Yuan, you are so good, you can hook up with Chu Ling!" Zhao Zhijie glanced at Hu Yonghuan next to him, and then at me, "Hu Yonghuan knows that he went to junior high school here. At that time, Chu Ling was already a student of this school. He has become a celebrity, and even the bosses of several nearby schools dare not fight with him. Otherwise, how could he have been placed on probation for punishment! At that time, the whole school knew that Chu Ling was almost expelled and sent to work-study school .”

The more I listened, the more surprised I became: "What nonsense are you talking about? Did Chu Ling provoke you?" However, even I felt that when I spoke, I had no confidence at all.

"Shao Yuan, stop pretending!" Hu Yonghuan approached my face exaggeratedly, "Chu Ling showed you some good movies? How about it, help me get some? I'm absolutely sure about you and Chu Ling. Keep it secret, no matter how you engage in homosexuality, if you go to bed with 'blowjob' or 'old man pushcart', hahaha! I have already seen it, you are industrial alcohol, fake pure..."

The more this guy talks, the more inhumane he becomes. "You mean Chu Ling? What movie did he show me?" I asked suspiciously.

"Fuck, am I right? I don't know about the movies he showed you, and I haven't seen them, so I want to borrow some from you! Just these few days, my dad is on a business trip, and my mom Going to the gym at night, she has been thinking about losing weight all day recently, and I am watching porn at home alone, no one knows." Hu Yonghuan turned his head, and an arc of saliva shot out from between his teeth, spitting on the ground like urinating, " You also know why Chu Ling was 'won' the punishment of staying in school for probation, right? He brought a lot of pornographic movies to the school, and he could just show them to boys, but he dared to lend them to girls. Those CDs were all foreign movies. Lang, steal your mother’s sexiness. In the video Chu Ling brought, it is said that not only two or three women fucked each other, but also several muscular men having sex with each other. Fuck me! At that time, the police car drove to the school , almost caught Chu Ling!"

"Yes, that's right! At that time, I was in the second year of junior high school, in the second semester, during the first May Day. Li Shuhong, the dean of menopause, broadcast to the whole school with a loud voice that afternoon, talking about Chu Ling. What's 'carrying a pornographic video', 'the content is extremely obscene, perverted, and even reactionary', 'spreading such indecent things to classmates, hooliganism' - there are three girls, Chu Ling brought them in their schoolbags Each of them was given a serious warning and punishment. In fact, more boys watched pornography, and no one was held accountable. This is called the difference between men and women. At that time, this incident was very big, and it was spread all over the school. "

Zhao Zhijie cleared his throat, and added a few more words: "No one in this area dares to provoke Chu Ling. When Chu Ling came here for her first year of high school, she beat up a ruffian boss with a knife until he had a concussion. At that time, it was said that six or seven ruffians surrounded him and beat him, and within 2 minutes, the entire army was wiped out!"

I stood there in a daze for a long time before I asked anxiously, "Then, what's wrong with Chu Ling and... the ruffian outside the school?"

"That time, it was said that the police all came. However, the police said that Chu Ling was acting in self-defense—ah, she was really awesome. She almost killed several people, but she was not held accountable. But since then, all the school leaders and even the police station The police are all staring at Chu Ling, watching his every move. It is said that Chu Ling's father is the gangster leader who came out of prison." Hu Yonghuan said, looking at his watch, with a tired expression, "Let's go, hurry up It's time for class. Please help me think about those good movies, thank you!"

I was in a trance that afternoon and was completely out of it during class.The words of Hu Yonghuan and Zhao Zhijie at noon always echoed in my ears.

In the evening, school is over very early, not even five o'clock.I didn’t know how to think about it, but I actually got on the bus at the station not far from the school gate—if anyone asked me what I was doing, I would say to buy teaching materials and exercise sets—and drove in the opposite direction from my home.After three stops, there is a small street, where there is a very messy market, where sellers of vegetables, clothes, and daily groceries are mixed together.I'm going to go there to wander around, relax, and buy one or two magazines with handsome guys.

During that time, I became more and more addicted to the photos of handsome boys in magazines, including text reports about them, and I would read them carefully over and over again, trying to figure out what the real personality of each handsome boy I liked was.

In all fairness, those male stars in fashion magazines, although their appearance is quite perfect, but looking at the interviews with them by reporters, I will soon feel that they are not "fellow travelers" with me.One of them was a handsome boy (about 19 years old) with tattoos on his right shoulder and left wrist. The first time I saw his picture, I liked it, but I saw him in an interview with a reporter, talking about "a man has to be like A man, a sissy is the most disgusting", I immediately felt very uncomfortable, and my good impression of this handsome celebrity disappeared all of a sudden.

——In short, I seem to have a kind of ambivalent psychology towards the handsome stars in the magazine: I am obsessed with their handsome appearance, but also use a critical eye to repeatedly figure out their every word and even the handwriting of their signatures.I like handsome guys in magazines, I am obsessed from the bottom of my heart, but at the so-called rational level, I know that most of them are in two completely different worlds from those beautiful young stars.

That day, I bought 9 old magazines with photos of handsome guys, all of which were published a few months ago, and cost three copies for ten yuan.When I stuffed these magazines into the schoolbag, the schoolbag was already so full that it almost burst.

At this moment, the sky is already dark, look at the watch, it is six o'clock in the evening.I was a little regretful that I was delayed for so long, so I had to lie to my parents when I got home, saying that the teacher was procrastinating on the first day of school.I made up my mind and hurried to the station at the intersection, ready to take the bus home.

"Fuck you! You son of a bitch, I've already seen through you, you're a fucking prodigal!" A burst of cursing made me stunned.With the help of the dim streetlights, one can vaguely see a small clothes shop diagonally opposite, with a very simple front door made of wooden boards.Two flat-panel tricycles were randomly parked in the open space in front of the store, which was not a problem on the not-so-spacious road.

A young man in a military coat turned his back to me, with considerable strength—I watched him lift a large bulging cardboard box from the car, and threw it into the store with a blunt "snap" sound, that The huge cardboard box traced a parabolic trajectory in mid-air and landed heavily at the door of the store.

"Fuck me lightly!" A thin, hunchbacked man - who seemed to be quite old - leaned over to open the cardboard box, cursing non-stop, with a particularly loud voice.

"...It's full of clothes inside, so I'm not afraid of falling." There was a vaguely immature voice in my ear, which seemed very familiar.Following that sentence, another large cardboard box was lifted from the car and thrown to the door of the store three or four meters away.

The lad was clearly under 20, not much older than me.At the age when I should have gone to school, I set up a stall and purchased goods here.I thought to myself, they must be outsiders—it’s not easy for outsiders to come to the city to make a living!

As I thought about it, I subconsciously walked towards the small shop across the road. "Just go to the karaoke hall to fool around! You go to the karaoke hall to sing hooligan songs and earn money from this? You are about to catch up with strippers! The money you earn is not enough for you to buy things all day long! You and your mother, that one Stinky and shameless bastards, they are all fucked up!" The skinny man was still yelling at the top of his voice.However, his Mandarin is very standard, which is obviously different from that of foreign hawkers.

"Dad! Are you finished? Today was supposed to be my first day of school. I asked for leave to help you put in your clothes. I did all this work by myself! You always say that you are not in good health, but you smoke and drink every day. After eating and drinking, you lose your temper with me..."

The voice sounded more and more familiar, and I looked over there. In the dark evening, I couldn't tell who the big boy in the army coat was from behind.

"Dad! You went to college anyway. You hang out with a few people in a nightclub. Everyone is voluntary. It's none of other people's business. Even my mother said in the past that 'strike hard' is simply a gust of wind." Crazy! You happened to catch up with the so-called anti-pornography and crackdown, and you were sentenced to four years for hooliganism, but this was all in the last century. I was just in kindergarten at that time! And now, it’s been more than ten years Have you ever thought about cheering up and making your life look good? You smoke and drink all day long, and play cards with a bunch of vegetable and fruit sellers! I go to the karaoke hall to sing to earn money, and I want to be a singer in the future, what's wrong? I dance and undress What’s wrong with Wu? I’m willing to show it to the whole world! No matter who it is, why do they control me?! You say I’m a hooligan all the time, and now the crime of hooliganism has been canceled long ago. You always call me shameless, but I earn Take the money as soon as you say it, and rummage through my drawers at every turn! You were once a victim of moral decay, but now you are just as overbearing and unreasonable as the system that persecuted you back then!"

"Fart your mother! Shameless!" The voice of the old man tripled, "What did you bring to school? Yellow! Obscene! Obscene! Do you know what Director Li said? This is hooliganism Beware of arresting you!"

"Is what Director Li said right? She can completely ignore this matter, or play it down. What happened to homosexuality? Show the video to your classmates, who did you hurt? I think Director Li is not only a legal illiteracy, but also a cruel official. , There will be no end to a little mess, and if she doesn't punish someone, it's not enough to show that she has power! This kind of person's personality is similar to that of Zhang Tang and Lai Junchen—Dad, you are also a graduate of the Chinese Department, the two people I mentioned , you should have an impression, right?"

That very powerful young man was arguing with his father louder and louder, and the content became more and more exciting.I couldn't help but stopped, almost having the urge to applaud him.However, the voice became more and more familiar to me the more I listened.I looked at my watch and was shocked again, it was 25:[-]!I quickly took a trot and ran to the station at the end of the small street.

"Chu Ling! You fucking..." The two words vaguely coming from behind - angry, old, and with a touch of helpless desolation - made my heart tremble.I didn't look back and ran to the bus stop in a hurry.

It was past seven o'clock when I got home. "You came back pretty fast!" To my surprise, my mother's face was pleasant when she saw me, and she was not angry or anxious at all.

"My classmate is sick. It's a good thing to send him home. If you do good deeds, you won't suffer. Favor is the biggest asset!" My mother's words almost made me stunned on the spot. I peeked at the living room next to me. didn't say anything.

"Oh, isn't that right. For the classmate's affairs, help if you can..." I quickly adapt to the situation, follow my mother's words, put down my schoolbag, wash my hands and eat.

"That classmate's name is—Chu Ling, isn't it? When it was a quarter to seven, I was so anxious to call your teacher's house. If she wasn't there, it meant that we were procrastinating again—I was still complaining. , It’s only the first day of school, it’s too shameful! At this time, Chu Ling called our house—a very polite and gentle boy—asked if you were at home. I said you haven’t come back yet, and asked him Do you know where you are? He said, he played basketball with you after school this afternoon, along with several other classmates; a classmate sprained his foot, you and several classmates took him to the hospital, and then he Send it home.——I said earlier that you have to study hard when you go to school. What kind of balls are you playing! Chu Ling said that he is already in the third year of high school and is about to take the college entrance examination. When he speaks, you know that he belongs to the kind of child who is both quiet and well-educated, and his academic performance should be good, right? Usually you can ask him more about the test-taking skills of the college entrance examination questions, which will help you yourself, don’t just Crazy and silly..." During the meal, my mother sat aside, chattering cheerfully.

After eating, my father walked into my room, picked up the schoolbag I put on the desk, weighed it, and put it on the table again. "On the first day of school, it's so heavy..." Dad said, looking at me, and then walked out.

Just now, my heart almost reached my throat, and now I let out a sigh of relief.I quickly closed the door, took out the magazines and magazines in my schoolbag and put them away...