Pretend to be straight

Today may be the first real date since Shi Jinghe and I were together. She was busy before, and she was basically at work. I only went to see her when she was off work, and then I After a meal, we almost have to go back to our respective homes.

The trip to Qicheng is of course not counted, besides, we only stayed for a day, and we came back.

Shi Jinghe and I are staying outdoors, to be precise, in a park, because the sun is rare today, and it happens to be Sunday, and many people come out to bask in the sun.

Some people walked their dogs on leashes, while others played with birds in cages. The atmosphere was very harmonious.

Shi Jinghe and I were sitting on the bench. We bought two peaked caps in a store after we had just finished eating. They were not used to wear on the head, but to cover the face.

I'm falling on her shoulders, taking a nap with her, in a noisy park, in the warm sunshine.

It wasn't that the wind wasn't blowing, but I didn't feel how cold it was. I held Shi Jinghe's hand, and gradually I felt sleepy on her shoulders.

But just when I was about to fall asleep, Shi Jinghe's soft voice rang in my ears: "Zhizhi, what do you think Qiu Yu wanted to find you?"

With a hat on my head, I closed my eyes and answered in a low voice: "I don't know." I squeezed her hand, "Don't worry, I don't like her anymore."

Shi Jinghe sighed softly again: "People always say that tomorrow and accident do not know which will come first, but now I feel that tomorrow and Qiu Yu do not know which will come first."

I couldn't help asking: "Why do you care about her so much...? I haven't contacted her for five years."

Shi Jinghe didn't answer me, but just held my hand a little stronger, and I shook her back: "On the day I confessed my love, everything I said was true, senior sister, don't worry."

She seemed to be struggling, and after a while she let out a breath and said: "The night you were drunk, you still talked in your sleep, and her name was all in the dream."

Oops.

I let go of her hand and sat up straight, and took off the peaked cap from my head, looking at Shi Jinghe who was still covered by the cap, I licked my lips: "Is there anything else?"

"Are you expecting anything else?" Shi Jinghe asked me back.

I quickly shook my head: "No."

She coughed lightly, took off her hat, and looked straight at me, but her eyes were filled with grievances. Her red lips parted: "After going back last night, Qiu Yu sent me another message to ask me I still haven't told her about you."

I nodded: "Well, don't tell her."

"I actually want to say that you are already mine, but I feel that if you don't want me to hurt her like this..."

I interrupted her: "Sister, your words are so bitter." I raised my hand to help her smooth her hair, "First, you should just say it, and second, you can tell her whatever you want, she... ... so that you won't be hurt because of my affairs."

I'm telling the truth, because Qiu Yu... I used to think she was a little bit ruthless and didn't have the slightest ability to empathize. After all, when I was so sad, she could tell me that I was bad for me. Parents are unlucky for such words.

Oh, bad luck.

Shi Jinghe was a little puzzled: "Why?" She suddenly thought of a question, "Why did you break up in the first place?"

I raised my eyebrows: "As your current girlfriend, are you sure you want to ask your ex-girlfriend questions? Don't you feel overwhelmed?"

"No, it's to give me some peace of mind. If one day I confront her head-on, I can talk about what happened back then." Shi Jinghe said slowly, "Just because she doesn't like you, she just uses you At this point, I believe I have won it all."

"Well, you must win."

The two of us stood up, Shi Jinghe put on the mask again, the sun was shining on her, and her long eyelashes cast a shadow under her eyes.

The two of us walked out of the park, I pursed my lips, and then said to her: "My parents died in an accident, and she... said that I was unlucky, and that my family was unlucky."

When I said this, I still felt that what Qiu Yu said back then was too much. Even if she didn't like me, she shouldn't have said such a thing when facing a fragile stranger, right?

Shi Jinghe stopped, she looked at me: "Uncle and aunt, is it a car accident?"

"No." I shook my head, closed my eyes and recalled it, and sighed softly, "That day was their wedding anniversary, so they went out to eat, but met a chef who took revenge on society and poisoned the dishes."

"There are several people who died, not just my parents."

I lightly clenched my hands into fists, controlling my emotions: "It was like that after that, I cried every day until my eyes looked like two walnuts."

Compared with before, what is better now is that I can already say these words frankly.

Shi Jinghe showed distress in her eyes, and when she was about to comfort me, my cell phone rang.

Shi Jinghe said, "You answer the phone first."

"it is good."

It was Xiaoxu who called. I don't know what's urgent about him, because everyone usually communicates through WeChat.

After I answered, "Hello?", I heard Xiao Xu say, "Zhizhi, Cheng Bailian posted on Moments today, did you see it?"

"No, didn't I block her a long time ago? What else can I see."

"Too."

I smiled: "So what did she say?"

"She said that although you are older than her and have more qualifications than her, she is not afraid of you."

I was a little surprised: "Did you name me?"

"Yeah." Xiao Xu said, "I've deleted her a long time ago. They are all screenshots sent to me by others. I'll send them to you later."

"Okay, I'll look at it later."

"Why don't you watch it now?"

"What do you think?" I asked him back.

"Okay, I understand, I'm sorry to disturb your date, bye bye."

After hanging up the phone, Shi Jinghe pulled off his mask and asked me curiously, "Is it about work?"

"Yeah." I nodded, and I held her wrist before she could continue to ask, "Want to go to the movies?"

As expected, Shi Jinghe's attention was diverted by me, she bent her eyes and said, "Okay."

I was a little tired at the end of the day, Shi Jinghe and I just had a very ordinary date, watched a movie and ate dessert, and finally went to play video games, and then went back after dinner.

Jin Lin took a taxi to school by herself in the afternoon, and Xie Ying hadn't come back when I went back.

After taking a shower and drying my hair, I picked up my work phone in the drawer and clicked on WeChat to read the news.

If I tell a lie, I have to use more lies to cover it up. I am actually very afraid that Shi Jinghe will continue to ask me about my work, because I don't want to continue to lie to her.

However, let me tell all my previous lies now, I can't do it.

Because that might mean that my relationship with Shi Jinghe will come to an end.

It’s not that I’m unfounded, but that’s how I am. My starting point is not pure, and my words are not sincere. No one can bear it, right?

I sighed, and couldn't help thinking, should I really use Cheng Siyi's incident to bid farewell to the business of receiving orders?Looking for a decent job?

Then I deleted everyone except Xie Ying, Xiaoxu and Lizi. I didn't have much contact with them before, and I won't have any contact with them in the future. I live a new life of my own.

But it seems that it is not so easy to get rid of the past, and I suddenly feel a little overwhelmed.

I was thinking, what would Shi Jinghe think if one day she knew that the middle-aged aunt when she met me for the first time was the mother of my friend Xiaoxu, and the scumbag when she met me for the second time was my customer , what would she think.

And, the mentally ill man who wanted to strangle me was also my customer, so what should she think?

I don't know what she thinks, anyway, I don't dare to think about it now.

Just like Shi Jinghe didn't have much sense of security because of Qiu Yu's affairs, I also often fell into panic because of my work.

And when I thought that Xiao Zhou was still Shi Jinghe's cousin and he knew all this, I felt even more at a loss.

After thinking about it for a while, I asked Xiao Xu out and sat with him at a barbecue stall, and I wanted to talk.

Xiao Xu is a qualified listener, and he is also a leader in this industry. After pouring me a glass of beer, he said, "Tell me, what problems do you encounter, and my brother will help you find a solution."

There are a lot of people coming out for barbecue at night, we are sitting in the store now, and the other tables are basically full.

After I took a sip of the wine, I breathed a sigh of relief and said, "I kind of want to quit the circle."

Xiaoxu was eating his sixtieth birthday, and when he heard that the chopsticks had fallen on the table, he was shocked: "What?!" He turned up the volume, "Say it again? I didn't hear clearly just now."

His reaction was as expected, and the others gave us a look.

I pursed my lips and repeated again: "I want to quit the circle."

Xiao Xu raised his hand and touched the back of his head, he said, "Let me take it easy, let me understand what you mean by that."

I didn't give him time, and said straight to the heart: "I may have to find a serious job."

Since I entered the industry, Xiaoxu and I have almost become friends, and we can be regarded as supporting and progressing together. Now everyone has finally made their way, but I have to leave temporarily. If I were Xiaoxu, I would not accept it.

Xiao Xu propped his elbows on the table and covered his face. He took a deep breath and asked without looking at me, "Are you sure?"

When I told him the first time, I still "a little want to quit the circle", but when I said it the second time, it had become "want to quit the circle".

I nodded, "Yeah."

Xiao Xu looked a little dazed: "But you obviously posted on Moments on Friday saying that you started accepting orders on Monday... Doesn't your relationship with Shi Meimei conflict with this job? Zhizhi. "

I nodded: "There is no conflict." I said truthfully again, "You know? She still misunderstood me, because the first time I met her was the day I met your mother, and she still doesn't agree with you. Everyone thought I had a gay ex-boyfriend, besides this, there was another customer, I acted as the girlfriend who broke up with him and stayed with him, and was also met by Jing He."

I snapped my fingers: "Third, do you know my sister Jin Lin? I haven't told Shi Jing and me that these are all fake." I sighed, "It's fake."

Xiao Xu frowned: "So you don't want to lie to her? Why don't you tell her directly? This job can continue, right?"

"No..." I shook my head slowly.

Xiao Xu looked at me incomprehensibly, I took another sip of wine, and said, "Actually, I understand even now that Shi Jing and her may love me more. I don't know the night I was drunk, I What exactly did I say and do, but I think about it, it seems that since that night, Shi Jinghe's attitude towards me has changed a lot. When I was in Qicheng the day before yesterday, I lost my mobile phone, and she was still talking to me. When I met someone, I rushed back immediately because I couldn’t get through to my phone, and when I came back, my eyes were red, as if I was afraid that something would happen to me again.”

I covered my face: "Xiao Xu, do you understand? Maybe she has more pity for me than she likes me."