Pretend to be straight

I always thought that Shi Jinghe was skeptical about my previous muddle through. Although her apology sounded sincere, it is still revealed now.

Why do you think I'm covering the hickey?If I don't explain it, maybe she will think so.

I chased after her, walked slowly beside her, and explained again: "I don't have a boyfriend." I paused, "I won't have one in a short time."

This is true. I made a decision in the past two days, that is, I will not accept any more love orders in a short time.

Qin Yiwen's incident left me with some sequelae, and I have no intention of accepting love orders in the near future.

And I also accepted the task of pursuing Shi Jinghe. In order to prevent me from making other loopholes, I still don't want to "fall in love" with other men for the time being.

I can't let the label of "straight girl" stick tightly on my face, I have to find a chance to tear it off.

"Oh?" Shi Jinghe turned her head to look at me, she had a smile in her eyes, very charming.

She stared at the silk scarf tied around my neck, and then looked up at my face: "Have you been hurt by your ex-boyfriend?"

I:......

I looked sad, shook my head and said, "No."

I feel powerless when I talk to her, because I have no idea what her next sentence will be.

I blinked my eyes and said, "I may not be able to like men anymore."

Is my implication obvious enough?I even drooped my eyelids just to match my sad expression now.

Shi Jing and Wen Yan seemed to be taken aback for a moment, she opened her mouth and said, "Let's go, we're almost in the store."

"......"Fine.

The meal was very quiet, I didn't speak because I fit in with my current role, in Shi Jinghe's eyes, I'm just a girl hurt by love, I can't jump too much.

And what about Shi Jinghe?I don't know why, but she doesn't look happy tonight either.

My brows are always slightly frowned, and there is also a faint sadness in my eyes that cannot be dispelled and cannot go away. Even when I smile, it gives me a feeling that I am not smiling.

After paying the bill, I walked out with her, and I said, "I will transfer the money to you through WeChat."

It was her meal payment just now, and I stood by and waited.

Shi Jinghe nodded: "OK."

After I finished eating and wiped my mouth, I took out the lipstick from my bag and put it on. It still had a faint sweet smell on it. I licked my lips and asked Shi Jinghe: "Sister."

...The more I call the title "senior sister", the more fluent it becomes.

I paused for a second, and called her again: "Sister Jinghe."

Shi Jinghe took out the car keys from her bag, she didn't look at me, and said, "Huh?"

I said: "Is there anything unhappy about you today?"

Shi Jinghe paused, took out the key from the bag, looked at me, and shook her head: "Why do you ask that?"

"Because I feel that you are different from usual."

Usually she is not so quiet, she even has a bit of humor in my eyes.

"The usual me?" Shi Jinghe turned the key out of his hand again, and asked me, "What is the usual me like?"

I was at a loss for words for a while, and replied: "... Anyway, it's not the way it is now."

Shi Jinghe smiled lightly, opened her mouth slightly and sighed into the air, and raised her head a little.

She sniffed, then turned to me and asked, "Do you want to see the night scene?"

"Now?"

"Ah."

When I got into Shi Jinghe's car, I was still in a daze.

I thought it was time to go back to our respective houses after dinner, but I didn't expect to go to see the night scene with her later.

The place to watch the night view is not remote, and it is even considered to be in a better location in the city - beside the moat.

She parked the car safely on the side of the road, and during this time, I almost fell asleep.

Her car has a faint smell of rose incense, and the seat cushion is very soft and comfortable. I didn’t sleep when I was on the train in the afternoon, and I didn’t sleep when I arrived at the hotel. I didn’t sleep enough today, and I’m sleepy under such circumstances. normal.

But it didn't take long for me to feel relieved, because Shi Jinghe patted my shoulder lightly, her voice was still the same, magnetic and sexy: "It's here." She called me, "Lu Zhi."

Not "Sister Lu Zhi" but "Lu Zhi", as she had been calling me until tonight.

I took a breath, opened the door, and got out of the car with her.

There is a moon hanging in the sky tonight, but it is not particularly clear, and it is a bit hazy.

Rows of willow trees are planted in the parapet wall of the moat, echoing with various laughter from time to time.

Small colorful lights were hung on the willow trees, and street lights like guards stood beside them, illuminating the entire river bank brightly and beautifully.

Shi Jinghe and I slowly got off the ladder next to the bridge and walked towards the grassy hill under the bridge.

The wind at night was much cooler, and I didn't wear very thick clothes. I started to feel a bit of chill while walking, but I didn't show it.

The main reason is that after showing it, no one gave me extra clothes to wear.

I don't think Shi Jinghe would take off her trench coat to me.

On such a section of the road, we walked very quietly, which is really strange tonight.

Finally, we came to the safe fence wall and stood separately.

My drowsiness has been blown away by the wind, and I am so awake that I can sleep through the night.

Across the river is a famous pagoda in Liucheng. Now the lights on it are brightly lit, which also illuminates the surrounding dark night with more colors.

I thought about it, and sighed aloud: "The last time I came here, I was in college." I said, "I came back today to take a look, and found that the changes are really quite big."

Sure enough, Shi Jinghe didn't keep silent anymore, she asked me: "Have you not been back for a long time?"

"Well, I graduated for three years, and I haven't come back for three years."

Passers-by passed behind us, and the voices of conversation changed from far to near and then from near to far, getting farther and farther away from us until the next wave passed by.

Shi Jinghe took out two paper towels from her bag. She wiped the earth-colored city wall, then put another paper on it, and then supported her elbows. She asked me, "Why?"

"Huh?" I was taken aback for a moment, and then I realized that she was asking me why I haven't been back to Liucheng for three years.

Without thinking about it, I replied: "There's no need to come back." I looked into her eyes, "I don't have anyone to worry about. But there are also friends from Liucheng, but they usually come to see me in Yuncheng. There's no need to come again."

Shi Jinghe pursed her lips with a look of hesitation. After a few seconds, I heard her ask me: "Lu Zhi, do you remember Yu Mo?"

"..."

"Don't remember?"

"..."

"He'll get married in a few days, and I'm not just here to accompany my best friend." She smiled lowly, "You came to Liucheng, I thought he invited you too."

Who is Yu Mo?He was my first boyfriend, and the first love I talked about after breaking up with my first love was with him.

It was Shi Jing and their school of economics, one year older than me, and he was already a senior when I was a junior.

I felt a headache because I didn't expect Shi Jinghe and Yu Mo to know each other.

Seeing that I didn't speak, Shi Jinghe turned her head to look in front of her again, and continued: "The first time I saw you was not at the dessert shop that day, but actually when I went back to school after graduation. Yu Mo is my direct Junior, two years younger than me, but the school circle is so big, it’s good to know each other over time. When he was a junior, one day he said in the group that he had a girlfriend and he liked her very much .”

"..." I don't know what to say anymore, the world is really too small, and now I have a feeling of "self-inflicted".

Is the difficulty of pursuing Shi Jinghe serious?Shi Jinghe also happened to know who my first boyfriend was, and they had a good relationship with him.

I'm tired, I'm really tired.I don't want the 1000 million, okay?

Shi Jinghe smiled softly, she turned her head to look at me, her eyes were also bright at night: "He said he wanted to be with that girl for the rest of his life, and when he wanted to get married in the future, the bride would be her. "

I raised my hand and stroked my forehead, and changed the topic: "Is he getting married? Congratulations."

The corners of Shi Jinghe's mouth curled up. She seems to be very interested in the matter between me and Yu Mo. She nodded: "Yes, we are getting married, and the bride is not you." Shi Jinghe changed the subject again, "At first I wasn't sure if you were his girlfriend, but it wasn't until you commented on my circle of friends that I was sure. It turns out that you are really Yuncai's Lu Zhi."

I sniffed and looked at the other side, puzzled and said: "But... I remember that I didn't see you when I was in college."

"Yes, but you forgot."

"Huh?" I was taken aback.

"In 14?" Shi Jinghe's tone was a bit uncertain, "Anyway, Yu Mo hadn't graduated yet at that time, and I went back to school to do business, and it happened that Yu Mo said that I hadn't met you yet, and they held a Meeting, I don’t know if you still have any impression.”

At first I really thought I hadn't seen it, but after listening to what Shi Jinghe said, I also remembered it.

Yu Mo said that it was rare for a senior to come back once, and their group of friends wanted to hold a welcome party for her, so Yu Mo asked me if I wanted to go, saying that as his girlfriend, I was a family member, so I could bring it with me, so I didn’t want it. Scared, when the time comes he will be by my side with me.

I went, but because there were too many people, I didn't take a closer look at what that senior girl looked like. They even pulled up a banner at that time. I don't remember the details, anyway, there is no name of Shi Jinghe.

I didn't stay for too long and left. I was not used to the noisy environment at the time, and I was only familiar with Yu Mo.

The memories are a bit long ago, but all of them flooded into my mind when I thought about it this way, and I remembered it all.

I nodded slowly: "I have a little impression..."

"Hey." Shi Jinghe sighed softly, "It wasn't long before Yu Mo said that you broke up."

I:......

Yu Mo was my first boyfriend, and I spent the longest time with him.

It was an accident that I met him. At that time, Meng Yisheng and I were walking on the track of the sports field. Suddenly, a football flew out of nowhere from behind. Just as it was about to hit me, Yu Mo blocked me. The football was caught by him He resisted it with his hands, but the strength still made him stagger and fall to the ground.

Before I recovered from the shock, Yu Mo was still sitting on the ground, dressed casually, panting with his hands on his sides, and asked me: "Student, are you alright?"

After a month or so, I agreed to his confession. He was a very nice person and would take care of me. At that time, I thought I might really like him too.

But later I found out that it was not. I was only with him because I thought he was good enough for me to rely on.

The longer we are together, the more I feel guilty, because he likes me so much, but I can't even do the most common kiss between couples.

In the end, I said goodbye with guilt.

No longer delay him, no longer delay myself.

After we broke up, we never contacted again, and I deleted all his contact information.

Several years have passed, I thought I would never hear any more news about him, but I never expected to hear the news that he was going to get married from Shi Jinghe on such a night.

September passed by so fast, and October followed, and I didn't realize it was National Day until I set off today.

There are too many people getting married on National Day, and it doesn't surprise me that Yu Mo would get married at this time.

It was unexpected that I would hear about him from Shi Jinghe.

Shi Jinghe's eyelashes trembled, she turned around and looked at a piece of grass in front of her, and behind her was the calm river under the moonlight.

She gave me the paper in her hand and said, "Put it behind my clothes for me, let me lean on it."

"it is good."

After laying down the paper towels, she really leaned her upper body against the guardrail wall. She let out a sigh of relief: "Sometimes I feel very tired. Friends around me are getting married and having children one after another, but I don't have such an idea yet."

I also had the same troubles as hers, and suddenly felt that Shi Jinghe and I were "sick and sympathetic".

But I chose not to get married or have children because I couldn't love others anymore, she... I don't know.

"Forget it, it's a bit late, go back and rest early." She said.

She sent me to the hotel and left, and I was relieved when I got back to my room.

I have a feeling of being grabbed by the throat of fate.

Why is it such a coincidence?Why did Shi Jinghe just know that my love partner is Yu Mo?

This is good, after a few years, when she met me again, the person I was talking to was still a boy.

But this also explained her previous behavior: why she was not so strange to me from the beginning, because she knew me.

It's just that I'd rather not have this kind of knowledge, but now, I, Lu Zhi, in Shi Jinghe's eyes, are straight girls.

Thinking of this, I started to have a headache again. I took out the medicine and took it. After I recovered, I went to wash and sleep.

I have no plans for going out for three days. Anyway, it's the National Day, and it's very lively everywhere.

Especially when I was crowded in the commercial center of Liucheng, I suddenly regretted that I might as well surf the Internet in the hotel.

But it's all here, I have to have a good time.

I don't have the habit of relying on others, so I have no problem eating alone, shopping alone, and watching movies alone, and I even feel happy.

Although I am alone with myself every day, in such a crowded situation, everyone is in groups, and I feel very good wandering around with headphones on alone.

Asking Shi Jinghe if he wanted souvenirs was purely for the task, but not asking Xie Ying and Meng Yisheng. Of course, they answered "I don't want anything".

But the answer is one thing, and I want to buy another size. I walked around for a day and returned to the hotel with a few bags.

Shi Jinghe sent me a message in the morning and asked if I want to have dinner together tonight, but I declined.

Just be self-willed, I don't want to see her now, because when I see her, I will think of 1000 million people who are farther and farther away from me.

I'm out for a trip to relax, so I don't want to continue doing tasks. I was really stupid last night to see her.

Hey, I'm really heartbroken. When I think that she still knows about my relationship in college, I feel even more heartbroken.

After taking a shower, I flipped through the address book and couldn't help calling Dai Sheng.

I really want to ask, did they do a lot of research behind the scenes, for example, Shi Jinghe and I are from the same school, for example, Shi Jinghe and Yu Mo knew each other, for example, Yu Mo and I had a relationship before.

I have a bunch of questions I wanted to ask, but I didn't ask them in the end, because no one answered Dai Sheng's phone, and his ring tone was still "Sorry, the user you dialed is already on National Day, please contact me after the [-]th .”

I:?

This CRBT really made me feel dumbfounded, and at the same time I felt helpless, because I sent Dai Sheng a WeChat message, but he didn't reply to me, and when he called on WeChat, he was also in a "busy" state.

Are you busy playing?I guess.

I went back to school the next day, and the University of Finance and Economics of Yun Province is quite well-known in the whole country. Now during the National Day, many people come here to visit.

I saw a lot of young faces, and they may have set this school as their goal, and they want to come here for the university entrance examination.

When I first applied for this school, I didn't think too much about it, it was purely because my parents thought it would be good to learn accounting and the salary would be higher in the future.

At that time, I was too lazy to think about what I wanted, so I filled in this school and this major, and Meng Yisheng was used to staying with me, so I filled in this school, followed by strictness, so The school the three of us went to together.

The past is vivid in my mind, and when I walked to school, the ground under my feet made my memories roll again.

It's really not that easy to forget the past, for example, I can still think of my first love when I look at the library.

Not long after the sophomore broke up, she went abroad, and I have never heard any news from her since.

Friends who knew about our relationship never mentioned anything about her in front of me. After I talked about a new partner, over time, they really thought that I no longer liked girls and liked her.

I don't know how she is doing now. When she was abroad in the past few years, did she think of me for a second, and did she want to apologize to me for a moment.

I am stingy, so stingy that I still remember clearly the reason for her breakup.

How could she call me unlucky?

Did I expect my parents to die?Was it something I could have expected that I couldn't get out of the depression during that period of time?

If I could have predicted it, then the breakup must be brought up by me, not by her.

It weighs heavily on me to think about her, especially when I feel that I am still thinking about her, which makes me even more irritated.

Meng Yisheng is right to worry, I may still have not forgotten my first love, and recently I think of her frequently.

But this won't work, it's been a few years, and I can't be as good-for-nothing as before.

I frowned, as if a big rock had been crushed in my heart, I left the school without thinking, hailed a taxi and went outside a bar.

I decided to drink tonight, I just happen to be alone, and maybe drink more happily.

But when I was in Yuncheng before, I drank with Xiao Xu and the others, and suddenly I placed an order, and I felt uncomfortable again.

So when I was outside the store, I called Xiao Xu, and the call got through within a few seconds.

Xiao Xu was panting heavily, his voice was a bit suppressed, and his speech was a bit intermittent: "Zhi, Zhi, what's wrong?"

As soon as I heard it, I knew something was wrong. I looked up at the sky, and it was only after four o'clock in the afternoon, and Xiao Xu was doing what he loved to do.

It's immoral to disturb other people's good things, especially when I heard his boyfriend's voice, the other party lowered his voice and called him "baby" and then said "is it cool".

I:......

The four words "Bai Rixuan/kinky/" popped up in my mind, and then I took a deep breath, said "it's okay" and hung up the phone.

Excuse me, I thought it would be at least at night, but now...?

In the end, I still didn't go to the bar, because I thought of some "bar body picking" incidents reported in the news recently, and I thought that if I wanted to drink to my heart's content, it would be better to stay in a hotel.

So I went to the supermarket to buy several kinds of wine, and I was a little suspicious of life when I finally carried the big bag.

Hey, it would be great if Xiaoxu was here, he can carry things.

Everyone needs a vent, just like when I go on a trip to dispel my fears, like now I’m going to buy wine again to get drunk and forget about the things that made me sad recently.

Even temporarily forget it, I really don't want to think about my first love again.

My heart aches when I think of her, I should hate her, shouldn't I?But I can't.

I hate myself who misses her so much, why?Why has it been five years, and I still haven't been able to forget it?

I suddenly thought of Shi Jinghe again, she said that it took her a long time to forget her ex.

what about me?And me?

Does my [-] years compare to her "very long time"?

And... I still haven't forgotten it.

I suddenly burst into tears again, breaking down and crying out.

When Nuwa created me, did she give me more pain than happiness?

It cost me my parents and my ability to love someone else.

Drinking alone to the end won't end well. I'm already dizzy, but my brain tells me that I'm sober now, but my behavior can no longer be controlled by myself, which makes me fall on the carpet.

The ringtone of the mobile phone rang on one side, and I tried to keep my eyes wide open and use my ears to determine the location of the mobile phone.

This is a mobile phone for life, and only my friends will call me.

Who is it?I couldn't see the phone interface very clearly, so I habitually swipe to answer.

After answering the phone, I was sure it was Shi Jinghe.

She called me and asked if I wanted to have dinner together, but after hearing my dizzy voice, she asked me for my hotel room number.

Fortunately, I still remembered where I was now, so I told her, and the phone was hung up quickly, and I closed my eyes again.

When Shi Jinghe arrived, I staggered to open the door for her. I didn't know why she came, maybe because I was her junior and also her friend's former lover.

Calculating the relationship between me and her, it's really a lot, I suddenly felt so.

The door opened, and I saw Shi Jinghe's face, but I couldn't see it clearly now, as if I had added an extra layer of filter to her.

She's really pretty, that's what I thought when I saw her picture for the first time.

Her tone was a little anxious: "Why did you drink yourself like this?"

"do not know……"

After I finished speaking, I fell into her arms and lost consciousness.