let him land

Xie Chuan thought he heard it wrong: "Rice Krispies?"

"Yes, I bought it online and it just arrived today."

Xie Chuan: "..."

Zhuo Lidong still held Xie Chuan's hand, lowered his head slightly, and whispered, "I haven't eaten this for a long... long time."

As soon as he spoke, warm air hit the side of Xie Chuan's face.Xie Chuan shrank his neck and took a step back: "Oh."

"I don't mean anything else about those clothes that day," Zhuo Lidong took a step forward, "I apologize to you if I misunderstood you."

"It's okay, there's no misunderstanding, I really can't wear it, it's too expensive," Xie Chuan smiled, and said relaxedly, "You don't have to be nervous... let's just pretend that nothing happened that night, okay?"

Zhuo Lidong didn't speak, and his expression was so dark that he couldn't see clearly, but despite this, Xie Chuan still found that the outline of the person in front of him had changed, and his broad shoulders had slumped.

"Xie Chuan," Zhuo Lidong spoke slowly and in a low voice, "my mother is sick, lung cancer."

Xie Chuan was stunned, his impression of Zhuo Lidong's mother was still 13 years ago, the beautiful aunt who was well-dressed and always had a scent on her body.

"Is it serious? Don't worry too much. My classmate's father also has lung cancer. It can be cured in the middle and early stages. The current conditions..."

Zhuo Lidong: "Can I hug you?"

Xie Chuan: "...Yes."

Zhuo Lidong leaned over and hugged Xie Chuan, his hands slipped under his ribs and wrapped around his back.His chin rested on Xie Chuan's shoulder, almost leaning his entire weight on Xie Chuan's body.

Their chests were pressed against their chests, Zhuo Lidong's breathing was close to their ears.

"After my mother and my father divorced, I haven't seen her," Zhuo Lidong said in a hoarse voice, "She took a lot of money from my father and went to Guiyang with a man. Dad didn't let me contact her, and she didn't take the initiative to contact me."

"It wasn't until my junior year that she called me—I didn't know how she had my mobile phone number—she asked me to borrow money, and she said she was in business and couldn't turn around. I just lent her 8000 yuan, which was the national award scholarship just issued, and I gave it all to her. After that, a month or so later, I called her to ask her how her business was going, but the phone was empty. Number."

"She called me again last month and still borrowed money. She said she was sick and had chest pains." Zhuo Lidong sniffled, "I didn't lend it to her."

Xie Chuan knew that Zhuo Lidong was crying, so he quickly put his arms around him.Xie Chuan has tasted the difference between life and death, but there is no way they can resist anything in the face of death, they can only give each other a little comfort by hugging.

Zhuo Lidong choked in a low voice, Xie Chuan hugged him quietly, there was no moon or stars this night, only the cold wind blowing on his body.Xie Chuan vaguely recalled that when he was a child, in the fifth or sixth grade, one year during the Spring Festival, Zhuo Lidong’s parents had a fight, and his relatives tried to persuade him. Zhuo Lidong pushed the crowd away and ran downstairs to Xie Chuan’s house, shouting thank you Chuan's name.

Xie Chuan went downstairs and saw Zhuo Lidong standing next to a big red lantern, the red light reflected the tears on his face.Xie Chuan hugged him in the same way that night, comforting him cautiously and chatteringly: "Don't cry, huh? It's okay, my parents quarreled too, they're all like this... Don't cry, let's go roller skating tomorrow ?”

After so many years, he can no longer say comforting words, not because of indifference, but because he has understood that comforting in the face of certain pains is meaningless at all, it is about farewell, about irreparable regret, about never Let go of guilt.

After a long time, until the night wind blows away the clouds, revealing a thin moon, Zhuo Lidong wiped away his tears and whispered: "Can you accompany me?"

Yes, why not, in fact, even if he didn't talk about his mother's illness, just this heavy bag of rice flower candies is enough to make Xie Chuan admit defeat, because this bag of rice flower candy hits the nail on the head, so anything is fine.Xie Chuan thought, only children in the family home have memories, Jiangjin Rose Brand Rice Krispies, you can do whatever you want.

Xie Chuan raised his hand and stroked Zhuo Lidong's hair: "Go upstairs."

They did it again that night, in the hut where Xie Chuan had slept for 28 years.This is the first time Xie Chuan brought a man to have sex at home.After his parents passed away, Xie Chuan lived in this old house, and he knew that he would live here until—until one day the family courtyard was demolished.He didn't even change the furnishings in the house. The old coffee table was still the old coffee table, the kimchi jar was still the kimchi jar, and the yellowed map of Sichuan Province was still pasted on the wall.He has nothing left but memories.He wants to keep the city of memory well and not allow outsiders to trample on it.

However, when Zhuo Lidong entered the body, Xie Chuan closed his eyes, he thought but, Mom and Dad, you know, Zhuo Lidong is not an outsider.He's also part of the memory, so take him home, okay?

After that day, Zhuo Lidong moved from the hotel to Xie Chuan's house.

Xie Chuan didn't ask anything—whether he has a girlfriend, when he's going back to Shanghai, whether he's bisexual—he didn't ask anything.And Zhuo Lidong didn't say anything.

This year's winter came very early, and the two of them changed into down jackets within a few days.Zhuo Lidong didn't have to work, so he made an appointment with Xie Chuan to meet at the bus stop in front of his house. After Xie Chuan got off work, he and Zhuo Lidong went to the vegetable market opposite the family courtyard to buy vegetables.Xie Chuan is very familiar with this vegetable market since he was a child. As soon as he enters the door, he sells tofu. There is a restaurant with delicious braised duck in the front. Going further, there are golden fried shiitake mushrooms and crispy peach shortbread.Xie Chuan is not very good at cooking, but Zhuo Lidong is good at cooking. He said it was because he went to England for an exchange for half a year when he was in college.

Zhuo Lidong likes to make tamales the most. Sometimes when the company has nothing to do and comes home early, he buys taro, potato, pork belly, fried rice and salted meat (for this reason, he bought a cooking machine), and steams a large pot of tamales.Steamed pork with Sichuan-style flour does not contain fermented bean curd and white sugar, and it tastes spicy. The pork belly wrapped in a thick layer of rice noodles is fragrant and spicy, and it is also slightly numb with pepper noodles. The taro and potatoes spread under the meat are steamed soft and rotten Sweet.

When I got tired of eating meat, I went to the market to buy bean curd.When they were young, they ate bean curd with their own brine. Ordering bean curd is a test of skill.Xie Chuan remembered that his mother could not always control the amount of brine, and every time the family ordered bean curd, she had to ask Grandma Deng downstairs to help.Fortunately, someone sold tofu curds in the market later, and after buying them, they could be eaten after cooking, but they had to make their own dipping sauce.

The bean curd itself has only the fragrance of beans. The most important thing to eat bean curd is the dipping sauce.It was a day in mid-November, it was cold, and the heater in the house was testing the waters, but it was not warm.When Xie Chuan came home from get off work, a pot of fluffy bean curd had already been placed on the table. Zhuo Lidong was making the dipping sauce, and the house smelled of aniseed ingredients—he had just fried them in oil.Xie Chuan even forgot to put down the bag on his shoulder. He stood at the door of the kitchen and watched Zhuo Lidong mince the tempeh, garlic, and green onions, then fry the sea pepper and mince them, divide them into two portions, and put them into bowls .Then Zhuo Lidong turned on the fire, put the chili oil in the pan to heat up, be careful not to burn it, Zhuo Lidong said, he poured the hot oil into the bowl neatly, the ginger and garlic sizzled, and the sea pepper flavor and chili flavor rushed in Nostrils, Xie Chuan's glasses fogged up, and for a moment, his eyes also became hot.Zhuo Lidong turned his head and asked with a smile, you were moved to tears when I cooked a meal?Xie Chuan took off his glasses and said, the chili is quite choking.

But in fact, he hadn't seen this scene in six years.

After eating and drinking, they started to take a walk after dinner.It's in the family courtyard, walk slowly, and don't miss any corner.There is a big downhill next to Building No. [-]. Xie Chuan asked Zhuo Lidong: "Do you remember what we did here?" Zhuo Lidong laughed: "The scar on my leg is still there." When they were in elementary school, the children in the family courtyard started roller skating, and a group of little radishheads ran rampant in the courtyard. Once Xie Chuan first slid down the long slope of Building No. [-], and shouted at Zhuo Lidong: "Don't be afraid!" Zhuo Lidong Not long after he learned it, he bit the bullet and slid down. Sure enough, the car couldn't stop and bumped into Xie Chuan.Zhuo Lidong's knee was broken, leaving a slanting scar. "Actually, when I threw myself on you," Zhuo Lidong smirked, "I touched your chin with my lips." Xie Chuan was dumbfounded: "I was only in the fourth grade at that time." Zhuo Lidong said confidently: "Then I Is there any way to remember?" After a pause, he asked softly: "When did you start to fall in love with me secretly?"

Xie Chuan was embarrassed by his question, and said indiscriminately, "I forgot."

"Hey," Zhuo Lidong grabbed Xie Chuan's wrist, and moved closer, "We've been skinned everywhere in the courtyard, but we haven't been in the courtyard yet..." He lowered his head and quickly kissed Xie Chuan's lips.

After the kiss, he looked smug: "Punch in the courtyard."

Xie Chuan was so fascinated by him that he played cards with him one after another in a daze, from the downhill of Building No. [-], to the grape arbor next to the old neighborhood committee, to the place outside the abandoned boiler room. PARKING LOT.Their thick memories are accumulated in every place, and new memories are added on top of the memories.They are like two kids who sneaked back into doing bad things. Their parents, relatives, and old neighbors are all there. There is no life or death. The ordinary life is filled with trivial matters. There is always new hope in the days, so lively and warm.

It's really fascinated, and I can't wake up from the dream.