In front of

Ever since Pan Xiaozhuo had his own little things, his emotions have always been calm. He felt very lucky to know him when he was a teenager.Pan Xiaozhuo was awake all the time and had no greed, so those throbbing and moving were all soothing and restrained.

There has never been a moment when Pan Xiaozhuo allowed the flow of emotion to flow like this moment. The tide was surging, and a huge wave hit his chest. Through the thin bones, he wanted to rush out and roll Pan Xiaozhuo into it.

"You know how to look at me stupidly?" Shi Kai raised his hand and snapped his fingers in front of Pan Xiaozhuo, "Don't you know me if you're so stupid?"

Pan Xiaozhuo couldn't control his emotions for a while, and his breathing was a little fast.

Shi Kai stroked his forehead casually: "Are you really stupid?"

Pan Xiaozhuo then shook his head lightly.Shaking his head was like a muddy head filled with muddy water, which made people dizzy.

"Isn't it good the day before yesterday?" Shi Kai withdrew his hand and asked him, "It was cold that day?"

"No," Pan Xiaozhuo sniffed, trying to speak as normal as possible, "I didn't wear a coat to study at night."

"It's so cold in your dormitory?" Shi Kai asked.

"Well, it's cold at night, so I need to wear more clothes for studying. I was wearing pajamas that day." Pan Xiaozhuo asked and answered honestly.

"Poor thing," Shi Kai took the porridge out of the bag, "you take this medicine to stimulate your stomach, eat something."

Pan Xiaozhuo watched Shi Kai open the lid of the porridge, removed the spoon, and asked him, "Can you eat with your left hand?"

"Yes." Pan Xiaozhuo said.

In fact, he was not hungry at first, but now Shi Kai put a book under the porridge and put it on his lap, but Pan Xiaozhuo obediently lowered his head and began to eat.

Shi Kai unpacked another box of walnut buns for him, and said, "Originally, the set meal was durian cakes, but I asked you to replace them with this one. If you have a fever, don't eat too much oil."

Pan Xiaozhuo nodded, and Shi Kai broke off a pair of chopsticks and put them on the walnut-wrapped lunch box.Pan Xiaozhuo put it down, picked up the walnut bun and ate it, took a bite and remembered, "...Thank you Brother Kai."

"You're welcome." Shi Kai sat by and watched Pan Xiaozhuo eat, and smiled, "I found you..."

Pan Xiaozhuo looked up at him: "What about me?"

"You seem to be a very obedient child." Shi Kai said, "Do what you are told to do, answer questions well, and eat when asked. You usually study hard, so you don't have to worry about it at home."

Pan Xiaozhuo hadn't calmed down at first, but now that Shi Kai looked at him and praised him like this, Pan Xiaozhuo became uncomfortable, and said, "No."

Shi Kai said: "You were not like that in high school, you were quite stubborn back then."

Pan Xiaozhuo finished eating the walnut buns and then bowed his head to drink the porridge. The temperature was just right, hot, but not burning his mouth.Xiao Zhuo said, "Well... I was afraid of people and a little silly at the time."

Shi Kai said to him: "Don't be afraid of people, no one can do anything to anyone, everyone has their own responsibility, others can't control you, and you don't need to talk to others."

Pan Xiaozhuo looked up at him, nodded and said, "Okay."

That day Pan Xiaozhuo drank half of the seafood porridge and ate two walnut buns.After Shi Kai finished eating, he put away his things, and began to sit beside him and eat roast goose, squab, and beef brisket.

The old man sitting across from him laughed and said, "I've never seen such a companion for injections. First let people drink porridge and eat small steamed buns. When you are full, you eat meat here. Are you a glutton?"

Shi Kai laughed while eating, and said, "Don't you have to accompany the patient like this? I eat and he watches."

Pan Xiaozhuo also laughed, took a tissue with his non-injected hand, and handed it to Shi Kai to wipe his hands.

"Greedy?" Shi Kai asked Xiao Zhuo with a smile, "Take a bite?"

Pan Xiaozhuo really didn't have an appetite, he wasn't hungry at all, he smiled and waved his hands.

"Look, he doesn't eat." Shi Kai turned his head and said to the opposite uncle, "He has no appetite."

The uncle said with a "huh", laughed loudly and said, "How dare you! You have already let the boss eat the box of porridge, and the little steamed buns. It's strange that he still has an appetite."

Everyone in the room was having fun, Pan Xiaozhuo laughed so much that his eyes behind his glasses were crooked, Shi Kai was not afraid of being watched, and ate quite deliciously.

Pan Xiaozhuo leaned on the back of the chair, one arm was cold and numb from the injection, but he didn't feel uncomfortable.He leaned there and looked sideways at Shi Kai, with a slight smile, and there was tender and open emotion in his eyes.

The teenager comes from the dream of youth.

Pan Xiaozhuo went to fetch three more bottles of water the next day. He originally said that he would drink three more bottles the next day, but he was fine after the next day.

On the phone, Shi Kai asked him if he was okay.

Pan Xiaozhuo replied: It's ready.

Shi Kai: That's fine, wear more in the future.

Pan Xiaozhuo: Mmmm.

In the following year, Pan Xiaozhuo often thought of the morning of the injection.He would think of Mengju opening his eyes to see Shi Kai sitting next to him, and Shi Kai eating meat while laughing.He is always generous and never cramped in any situation.

Pan Xiaozhuo could always recall the violent heartbeat at that moment, that feeling was too unforgettable.As if walking alone in the dark night, when I looked up, I suddenly saw the bright moon.The moonlight shone softly on him.

In his senior year, Pan Xiaozhuo worked very hard. There were no more classes in school, so he found a part-time job in a regular remedial class, teaching mathematics to middle school students. PubMed.

This winter, Pan Xiaozhuo's grandmother passed away.

Grandma has been in poor health and has to take various medicines all year round.In the past two years, her health has become worse. Every time Pan Xiaozhuo went back to her aunt's house, her grandmother would hold him and talk for a while.When people get old, they will think about many things. In the past two years, grandma has always mentioned his father to Xiaozhuo.

Xiao Zhuo didn't have a deep impression of his father anymore, after all he was still so young at that time.

After grandma passed away, Pan Xiaozhuo packed up all his things and moved out of his aunt's house.He didn't have many things. He sold all his books after graduating from high school, and took away the clothes he could wear after he went to college.

Aunt and uncle let him come back to live after graduation, this is still his home.Pan Xiaozhuo knew that these were polite words, he had no reason to come back, and he hadn't come back to live much after graduating from high school.

Pan Xiaozhuo took the postgraduate entrance examination for finance, and Tao Huainan also took the postgraduate entrance examination. The two often study together, going to the library or cafes.Tao Huainan was also very hardworking. He couldn't see with his eyes, so he learned by listening and touching with his hands.

"Xiao Zhuo, I feel that there are a lot of things stuffed into my head, and now my mind is heavy." Tao Huainan said to Pan Xiaozhuo in a dazed state.

"Take a break," Pan Xiaozhuo put down his pen, "Shall we have something to eat?"

"What are you eating?" Tao Huainan rubbed his temples, "I'm dizzy, I'm confused, my brain can't hold it."

Tao Huainan can only rely on his brain to memorize his studies. It is true that his brain burns.Pan Xiaozhuo said, "I treat you to ramen? Pasta? Fried noodles?"

"Okay, ramen." Tao Huainan was no longer picky about food, and agreed, "Buy me another baked naan."

"Okay." Pan Xiaozhuo packed up his things first, and then went to help Tao Huainan pack them up.Tao Huainan was holding the schoolbag with its zipper open, waiting for Pan Xiaozhuo to help him pack it.

"Last time, my brother didn't know where to buy the lamb chops for Brother Tang. It's really delicious. I'll ask him, let's eat it next time."

"Okay, I want to eat meat." Pan Xiaozhuo said honestly, "I'm poor, I've been a vegetarian for a long time, next time you take me to eat meat."

"Eat, eat." Tao Huainan nodded repeatedly.

Before they could leave, Tao Huainan's phone rang.

Tao Huainan connected, and Ji Nan's voice yelled over the phone: "Xiao Huainan! Where are you?"

"I am struggling and studying hard." Tao Huainan said.

Ji Nan laughed out loud: "Stop being so positive, where are you? Brother Nan will pick you up and come out for dinner at night. Why don't you get together when you're all back?"

"They're all back?" Tao Huainan subconsciously asked, "Who's back?"

"Only this few people, who else can there be?" Ji Nan added, "Except Brother Chi, everyone has returned."

Tao Huainan said "ah".

"Hurry up, send me a location." Ji Nan said.

Tao Huainan asked, "What to eat?"

Ji Nan said, "My dad just bought the land."

Tao Huainan asked again, "Is there any meat?"

Ji Nan couldn't help laughing: "Then can there be no meat? So many of us are vegetarians? What's the matter, Xiao Huainan, the family's conditions are not good? Can't even eat meat?"

Tao Huainan said: "Then you come and pick me up, Xiaozhuo and I, I'll send you your location."

After hanging up the phone, Tao Huainan turned to Pan Xiaozhuo: "Let's go, Xiaozhuo, go eat some meat."

Pan Xiaozhuo blinked and asked, "Jinan?"

"Yes, they're all back." Tao Huainan sighed, "It's really early for them to go on vacation."

Pan Xiaozhuo asked again after a few seconds: "Are you all back?"

"That's what you said," Tao Huainan sighed, "except for my little brother."

Pan Xiaozhuo unexpectedly did not refuse, zipped up Tao Huainan's schoolbag and said, "Then let's go."

This is the first time that Pan Xiaozhuo saw Shi Kai again after a year.

Shi Kai was wearing a black short thin down jacket, overalls, and basketball shoes.Among the people in the room, Pan Xiaozhuo saw him at first sight.When Shi Kai saw him, he smiled lightly and raised his chin at him, a handsome and handsome greeting.

Except for Pan Xiaozhuo, these people were all from Tao Huainan's freshman class, and Pan Xiaozhuo was considered an outsider here.But in the last two years of high school, because he had a good relationship with Tao Huainan, he was half-acquainted with them.

Every time they get together, they are very rowdy, especially Ji Nan and the others, just like in high school, they run around the room when they get into a row.Pan Xiaozhuo was sitting next to Tao Huainan, he was picking food for the two of them by himself, while the others were drinking and making noise over there, the two had a good time sitting here.

Ji Nan's father said that the restaurant was tasteless, and the two of them ate the rest of a dish of shrimp balls.

Tao Huainan approached Xiao Zhuo and said, "These shrimp balls are delicious."

Pan Xiaozhuo nodded in agreement: "It's delicious."

Tao Huainan asked: "Is there any more?"

Pan Xiaozhuo: "No more, I have another one in my bowl, do you want it?"

Tao Huainan said, "Go ahead and eat."

Not waiting for Tao Huainan to say that he will serve another one later, he suddenly heard someone laughing behind him.The two heads swiped back together, the one that could see and the one that couldn't follow suit.

"Waiter." Shi Kai turned to the door and said, "Then what kind of shrimp balls, serve two more, and put one here separately for them."

The waiter agreed to go out, and Shi Kai turned around and tapped on the backs of their chairs casually, saying: "This is poor, just say what you want to eat."

Tao Huainan said with a smile, "Thank you Brother Kai."

Pan Xiaozhuo didn't make a sound, Shi Kai looked at him with a smile: "You don't thank me?"

He didn't really ask Pan Xiaozhuo to thank him, so he just made a joke and turned back to his seat after speaking.

Tao Huainan never heard Pan Xiaozhuo reply, and asked him: "Xiao Zhuo, are you still afraid of them?"

Pan Xiaozhuo didn't say anything, and after a long time, he squeezed out "no".

Originally, people ate well, but Ji Nan had to mention it over and over again.

Every time he mentioned Chicheng, Tao Huainan was obviously a little more silent than before.Later, Tao Huainan also asked for wine, and drank there in silence.

Pan Xiaozhuo felt that he was lonely.

Pan Xiaozhuo asked for wine too, and poured himself a glass.He had never drank alcohol before, so he took a sip, it was really bad.

"Brother Chi probably has a girlfriend, and I, Kaikai, will soon see it. This time I go out to call again and again, who are you calling?" Shi Kai came back from the outside again, and Ji Nan said hesitantly.

"Drink your wine." Shi Kai ignored him.

"Tell me! Who did you call?" Ji Nan leaned over, leaning his head towards Shi Kai's phone, insisting on looking at it.

"Get out of here, I think you are annoying." Shi Kai pushed him with his arm.

"Oh, don't let me see! You have a problem!" Ji Nan jumped up with an "oh", "Kai Kai, you have a problem!"

Shi Kai picked up the phone, and pushed Ji Nan aside with no expression on his face.

Pan Xiaozhuo didn't look over there, but the room was so big, and Ji Nan's voice was loud, so both Pan Xiaozhuo and Tao Huainan could hear clearly what they were saying.

"Brother Kai is talking about friends too." Tao Huainan lay on the table, tapped his fingers on the table lightly, "I'm going to have a girlfriend."

Pan Xiaozhuo took a sip of his wine, then also lay down on his stomach, and let out a "huh".

"Xiao Zhuo." Tao Huainan called him.

Pan Xiaozhuo responded to him: "Yes."

"You said..." Tao Huainan blinked his empty eyes blankly, and asked softly, "Girlfriend, what is it like?"

Ji Nan mentioned it several times just now, saying that Chi Cheng already has a girlfriend in Beijing.

Tao Huainan asked again: "Will it be beautiful?"

Pan Xiaozhuo raised his face from his arms, glanced briefly in Shi Kai's direction, and saw the handsome smiling boy.Pan Xiaozhuo leaned back again, nodded with a smile and said, "That's for sure."

Tao Huainan seemed to have drunk too much, and asked softly, "Is your temper good?"

Pan Xiaozhuo thought for a while and said, "Okay? Better."

After a while, Pan Xiaozhuo suddenly answered: "It doesn't matter if it's not good, as long as it's good."

Tao Huainan said after a long time, "Mmm, yes."

The two seem to be chatting, and they seem to be talking to each other.

This was Pan Xiaozhuo's first time drinking. He poured himself a glass of red wine and drank it all.In the end, wearing glasses felt like I wasn't wearing them, and my eyes were wandering around in a blur, and I couldn't see anything clearly.

Shi Kai didn't drink much, he went out to make several phone calls at night, and before he left, Ji Nan picked on him, saying that he would have to make it up next time, how could he learn to hide his mind?

The manager arranged several cars to send these people back properly.Shi Kai took the two little drunks into the car, and Tao Huainan was the closest, so he saw him off first.At the gate of the community, Shi Kai told the driver to wait for him for a while, and before getting out of the car, he glanced at Pan Xiaozhuo who was asleep, and told the driver not to turn off the engine, and asked to turn up the temperature of the air conditioner a little.

The driver was an elder brother in his thirties, and he teased him with a smile: "Little brother is very careful, which girl would be a good date for you."

Shi Kai replied with a smile: "That is."

Tao Huainan drank too much and sat there talking about his little brother.It must be true that Shi Kai was called Brother Kai by him, and he recorded it directly with his mobile phone.Tao Huainan couldn't see and didn't know anything, so he honestly said "I miss him every day".

When Shi Kai settled Tao Huainan and went downstairs again, the driver brother did not turn off the engine and kept the air conditioner on.Shi Kai got into the car and said, "Thank you brother."

"Hey, what's the matter." The driver brother replied.

Shi Kai turned his head to look at Pan Xiaozhuo, and saw that he was leaning against the car window and fell asleep with his forehead against the glass.Shi Kai then got off the passenger seat, sat in the back seat, and said to the driver, "Let's go brother."

It's definitely not good to be so close to the car window in the winter, it will be so cold that your brain hurts, not to mention that Pan Xiaozhuo has been drinking.Shi Kai remembered that last year Pan Xiaozhuo was pitifully sitting in the clinic to draw water by himself, so he stretched out his hand and clasped his neck to straighten Pan Xiaozhuo's head.

The car had already started, and Pan Xiaozhuo suddenly felt himself shaking. Shi Kai straightened his head, and he opened his eyes to look.

When he opened his eyes, he saw Shi Kai looking at him again.It's just that the eyes are not in focus, and after looking for a long time, I can't see Shi Kai's eyes.

Pan Xiaozhuo wasn't fooled anymore this time, but burst out laughing right away.

"Why are you here again..." Pan Xiaozhuo shook his head helplessly, "When I open my eyes... I can always see you."

"A total of two times." Shi Kai said with a smile.

Pan Xiaozhuo nodded and said, "Enough."

Shi Kai asked, "Does your school have a curfew, Zhuo?"

Pan Xiaozhuo said, "Yes, until eleven o'clock."

Shi Kai glanced at the time. At 10:30, the driver said, "It's too late."

Pan Xiaozhuo leaned there, sometimes looking at the scenery outside the window, sometimes looking at Shi Kai.It was snowing in the cold winter outside, and it was warm inside the car. Pan Xiaozhuo's face was a little hot.It was blown by the air conditioner, and it was also drunk.

Pan Xiaozhuo drank too much and didn't make a fuss, so he just kept looking outside and Shi Kai in the car without saying a word.Shi Kai asked him if he felt uncomfortable, but he just shook his head.If it wasn't for the flushed face and the wandering eyes, it wouldn't be obvious that he was drinking anymore.

Shi Kai looked down at the phone casually, and when Pan Xiaozhuo was staring at him a few times, Shi Kai raised his eyes to look over, Pan Xiaozhuo just turned his eyes away stupidly, or smiled at him.

The car stopped at the side door closest to the dormitory, and Shi Kai took Pan Xiaozhuo out of the car.The driver waited in the car, and Shi Kai went to see Pan Xiaozhuo off.

Pan Xiaozhuo walked behind Shi Kai with his pockets in his hands. Shi Kai waited for him twice, but Xiao Zhuo stopped as soon as he stopped. Later Shi Kai discovered that Xiao Zhuo was walking in his shadow on purpose.Under the street lamp, Xiao Zhuo's shadow was completely covered by Shi Kai's shadow. Xiao Zhuo seemed to find this very interesting, and followed Shi Kai step by step, keeping his head down like a child stepping on the shadow.

Shi Kai didn't wait for him any longer, walking slowly, Xiao Zhuo could step on every step, wrapping himself in Shi Kai's shadow.

The dormitory is closed immediately. There are not many people downstairs in the dormitory at this time, and there are a few boys who just came back or went downstairs to buy water.

"Can you go up by yourself?" Shi Kai asked.

Pan Xiaozhuo still looked down at the shadow, and replied: "Yes."

"Stop playing, go up." Shi Kai smiled and said to him, "I'm leaving."

"Yeah," Pan Xiaozhuo nodded, "Yeah."

After drinking too much, his reaction was still slow, Shi Kai said, "Go in."

Pan Xiaozhuo looked at the door of the dormitory, and then looked up at Shi Kai.He didn't raise his head much all the way, and kept his head down, playing with shadows.At this moment, he seems to have just come to his senses, Shi Kai is leaving.

Shi Kai glanced at the phone, smiled and said, "It's 54:6, you still have [-] minutes, which floor is your dormitory on?"

Pan Xiaozhuo replied honestly: "The dormitory is on the fourth floor, and the supervisor is on the second floor. If the door on the second floor is locked, you can't go up."

"Then why don't you hurry up?" Shi Kai said, "Hurry up."

Pan Xiaozhuo didn't respond, but just looked at Shi Kai seriously.

Xiao Zhuo, who had drunk too much, didn't remember to hide his secret thoughts, and had no time to take care of them.Maybe he thought it was in his dream.

There were many words in Pan Xiaozhuo's eyes that he couldn't say.Shi Kai was still smiling at first, thinking that Xiao Zhuo had drunk too much, but after looking at him for a few seconds, Shi Kai gradually stopped laughing and raised his eyebrows slightly.

"Xiao Zhuo?" Shi Kai called him.

Pan Xiaozhuo didn't respond, but suddenly stretched out his hand and pressed it against Shi Kai's face.

Shi Kai was very surprised, Xiao Zhuo's palms were hot, which was in sharp contrast to the temperature on his face in the cold winter.

Xiao Zhuo tilted his head slightly, raised his chin slightly, and just kept looking at the person in front of him.His eyes are soft, under the unclear light, even through the glasses, it makes people feel warm and tolerant.

"You..." Xiao Zhuo looked at Shi Kai seriously, as if they were very familiar and close for many years, "You need to find a good job."

Shi Kai felt a sense of confusion, looked down at Xiao Zhuo, and before he could speak, Xiao Zhuo continued.

"Find a girlfriend you like...and live a good life." Xiao Zhuo spoke slowly and sincerely, "I think your life is full of happy things, so you don't get lost."

Through the lens, Shi Kai saw himself in Pan Xiaozhuo's eyes.

Pan Xiaozhuo supported Shi Kai's side face, rubbed his thumb lightly twice, looked into Shi Kai's eyes and said, "When you are about to laugh...the eyes are always shining."

After saying this, he put down his hand, waved at Shi Kai, and turned to go upstairs.

Shi Kai made a sound, and asked with inquiry in his eyes, "Who am I?"

Pan Xiaozhuo turned back and answered honestly, "Shi Kai."

"Who is Shi Kai?"

Pan Xiaozhuo didn't answer, but suddenly laughed, openly and generously.He patted himself on the heart, and said as a matter of course: "Shi Kai is Shi Kai."